chapter 17

.]--Besides his death there were also gladiatorial contests, in which among other features ten tigers were slaughtered at once.

[Sidenote:--8--] After this came the _denouement_ of the Apronianus affair,--a startling story even in the hearing. He incurred censure because his nurse is said to have seen once in a vision that he should enjoy sovereignty, and because he was believed to employ some magic to this end. He was condemned while absent in his governorship of Asia. When the evidence taken in his case was read to us, there was found written there this statement,--that one person in charge of the investigation had enquired who had told the dream and who had heard it, and that the man interrogated had said among other things: "I saw a certain baldheaded senator taking a peep there." On hearing this we all became terror-stricken, for neither had the man spoken nor Severus written any one's name. In their state of panic even those who had never visited the house of Apronianus, and not only the baldheaded but those whose foreheads were indifferently bare grew afraid. No one felt easy save those who had unusually thick hair. We all looked around at such men, and a whisper ran about: "It's so-and-so. No, it's so-and-so." I will not conceal how I was then affected, however absurd it may be. I felt with my hand to see whether I had any hair on my head; and a number of others behaved in the very same way. We were very careful to direct our gaze upon baldish persons as if we could thereby divert our own danger upon them. This we did until it was further read that the particular baldhead in question wore a purple toga. When this statement came out, we turned our eyes upon Baebius Marcellinus. He had been aedile at the time and was extremely bald. So he stood up and coming forward said: "He will certainly be able to point me out, if he has seen me." We commended this speech, the informer was brought in while the senator stood by, and for a long time was silent, looking about for the man to point out. Finally, following the direction of an almost imperceptible nod that somebody gave, he said that this was he.

[Sidenote:--9--] Thus was Marcellinus convicted of a baldhead's peeping, [Footnote: The phrase [Greek: phalakrou parakupseos] has a humorous ring to it, and I am inclined to believe, especially considering the situation, that Dio had in his mind while writing this the familiar proverb [Greek: honou parakupseos], a famous response given by a careless ass-driver, whose animal being several rods in advance of its lagging master had stuck its head into an open doorway and thereby scattered the nucleus of a promising aviary. The fellow was haled to court to answer to a charge of contributory negligence and when some bystander asked him for what misdeed he had been brought to that place, he rejoined with a great air of injured innocence: "For an ass's peeping!"] and bewailing his fate he was conducted out of the senate-house. When he had passed through the Forum, he refused to advance farther, but right where he was took leave of his children, four in number, and uttered this most affecting speech: "There is only one thing that I am sorry for, children; it is that I must leave you behind alive." Then he had his head cut off before Severus learned even that he had been condemned.

Just vengeance, however, befell Pollenius Sebennus, who had preferred the charge that caused his death. He was delivered by Sabinus to the Norici, for whom he had shown scant consideration during his governorship of them, and went through a most disgraceful experience. We saw him stretched on the ground, pleading piteously, and had he not obtained mercy, thanks to his uncle Auspex, [Footnote: _A. Pollenius Auspex_.] he would have perished pitiably. This Auspex was the cleverest imaginable man for jokes and chit-chat, for despising all mankind, gratifying his friends, and making reprisals upon his enemy. Many bitter and witty epigrams of his spoken to various people are reported, and many to Severus himself. Here is one of the latter. When the emperor was enrolled in the family of Marcus, Auspex said: "I congratulate you, Caesar, upon having found a father." This implied that up to this time his obscure origin had made him as good as fatherless.

[Sidenote: A.D. 206-7(?)] [Sidenote:--10--] It was at this period that one Bulla, an Italian, established a robber band of about six hundred men and for two years continued to plunder Italy under the very noses of the emperors and of so great bodies of soldiers. Pursuit was instituted by numerous persons, and Severus emulously followed his trail, but the fellow was never really seen when seen, never found when found, never apprehended when caught. This was due to his great bribes and his cleverness. He got wind of everybody that was setting out from Rome and everybody that was putting into port at Brundusium, learning who and how many they were, and what and how much they had with them. His general method was to take a part of what they had and then let them go at once. Artisans, however, he detained for a time and after making use of their skill dismissed them with something extra as a present. Once two of his robbers had been captured and were to be given to beasts, whereupon the chief paid a visit to the keeper of the prison, pretending that he was the governor of his native place (?) and needed some such men, and in this way he secured and saved them. Again, he approached the centurion who was charged with abolishing brigandage and in disguise accused his own self; he further promised, if the centurion would accompany him, to deliver the robber to him. So, pretending that he was leading him to Felix (this was another name of the chief), he brought him to a hill-encompassed spot, suitable for ambuscade, and easily seized him. Later he assumed the garb of a magistrate, ascended the tribunal, and having called the centurion caused his head to be shaved, and said: "Take this message to your masters: 'Feed your slaves, if you want to make an end of brigandage.'" Bulla had, indeed, a very great number of Caesarians, some who had been poorly paid and some who had gone absolutely without pay.

Severus, informed of these events one at a time, was moved to anger to think that while having other men win victory in warfare in Britain, he himself in Italy had proved no match for a robber. At last he despatched a tribune from his body-guard with many horsemen and threatened him with terrible punishments if he should not bring the culprit alive. Then this commander ascertained that the chief was maintaining relations of intimacy with the wife of another, and through the agency of her husband persuaded her on promise of immunity to cooperate with them. As a result the elusive leader was arrested while asleep in a cave. Papinianus the prefect asked him: "For what reason did you become a robber?" The other rejoined: "For what reason are you a prefect?" And thereafter by solemn proclamation he was given to beasts. His robber band broke up, for the entire strength of the six hundred lay in him.

[Sidenote: A.D. 208 (a.u. 961)] [Sidenote:--11--] Severus, seeing that his children were departing from their accustomed modes of life and that his legions were becoming enervated by idleness, set out on a campaign against Britain, though he knew that he should not return. He knew this chiefly from the stars under which he had been born, for he had them painted upon the ceilings of the two halls in the palace where he was wont to hold court. Thus they were visible to all, save the portion which "regarded-the-hour" when he first saw the light (i.e., his horo-scope). This he had not engraved in the same way in both the rooms.--He knew it also by the report of the seers. And a thunderbolt struck a statue of his standing near the gates through which he intended to march out and looking off along the road leading to his destination, and it had erased three letters from his name. For this reason, [Footnote: The significance of this happening is explained as follows. Taking the Greek form of Severus, namely [Greek: SEBAEROS] and erasing the first three letters you have left [Greek: AEROS]= [Greek: AEROS]=heros, "hero." When a thunderbolt substitutes the word "hero" for the emperor's name, the supposition naturally arises that the ruler will soon be numbered among the heroes, that is, that he will cease to exist as a mortal man.] as the seers indicated, he did not come back again but departed from life two years after this. He took with him very great sums of money.

[Sidenote:--12--] There are two principal races of the Britons,--the Caledonians and the Maeatians. The titles of the rest have all been reduced to these two. The Maeatians live near the cross wall which cuts the island in two, and the Caledonians are behind them. Both inhabit wild and waterless mountains, desolate and swampy plains, holding no walls, nor cities, nor tilled fields, but living by pasturage and hunting and a few fruit trees. The fish, which are inexhaustible and past computing for multitude, they do not taste. They dwell coatless and shoeless in tents, possess their women in common, and rear all the offspring as a community. Their form of government is mostly democratic and they are very fond of plundering.

Consequently they choose their boldest spirits as leaders. They go into battle on chariots with small, swift horses. There are also infantry, very quick at running and very firm in standing their ground. Their weapons are shield and short spear, with a bronze apple attached to the end of the ground-spike, so that when the instrument is shaken it may clash and inspire the enemy with terror. They also have daggers. They can endure hunger and cold and any kind of wretchedness. They plunge into the swamps and exist there for many days with only their heads above water, and in the forests they support themselves upon bark and roots and in all [Footnote: The reading is a little doubtful. Possibly "in such cases" ( [Greek: para tauta]). (Boissevain).] cases they have ready a kind of food of which a piece the size of a bean when eaten prevents them from being either hungry or thirsty. Of such a nature is the island of Britain, and such are the inhabitants that the enemy's country has. For it is an island, and the fact (as I have stated) [Footnote: Compare Book Thirty-nine, chapter 50 , which, in turn, refers to Book Sixty-six,