Part 42

Thereupon fire was suddenly enkindled in my heart; my mind was possessed with her and my woman-hate turned to woman-love. I continued sitting there, lost to the world, till sunset when lo! the Kazi of the city came riding by with his slaves before him and his eunuchs behind him, and dismounting entered the house in which the damsel had appeared. By this I knew that he was her father; so I went home sorrowful and cast myself upon my carpet-bed in grief. Then my handmaids flocked in and sat about me, unknowing what ailed me; but I addressed no speech to them, and they wept and wailed over me. Presently in came an old woman who looked at me and saw with a glance what was the matter with me: so she sat down by my head and spoke me fair, saying, "O my son, tell me all about it and I will be the means of thy union with her."[604] So I related to her what had happened and she answered, "O my son, this one is the daughter of the Kazi of Baghdad who keepeth her in the closest seclusion; and the window where thou sawest her is her floor, whilst her father occupies the large saloon in the lower story. She is often there alone and I am wont to visit at the house; so thou shalt not win to her save through me. Now set thy wits to work and be of good cheer." With these words she went away and I took heart at what she said and my people rejoiced that day, seeing me rise in the morning safe and sound. By and by the old woman returned looking chopfallen[605], and said, "O my son, do not ask me how I fared with her! When I told her that, she cried at me:—If thou hold not thy peace, O hag of ill-omen, and leave not such talk, I will entreat thee as thou deservest and do thee die by the foulest of deaths. But needs must I have at her a second time.[606]" When I heard this it added ailment to my ailment and the neighbours visited me and judged that I was not long for this world; but after some days, the old woman came to me and, putting her mouth close to my ear, whispered, "O my son; I claim from thee the gift of good news." With this my soul returned to me and I said, "Whatever thou wilt shall be thine." Thereupon she began, "Yesterday I went to the young lady who, seeing me broken in spirit and shedding tears from reddened eyes, asked me:—O naunty[607] mine, what ails thee, that I see thy breast so straitened?"; and I answered her, weeping bitterly, "O my lady, I am just come from the house of a youth who loves thee and who is about to die for sake of thee!" Quoth she (and her heart was softened), "And who is this youth of whom thou speakest?"; and quoth I, "He is to me as a son and the fruit of my vitals. He saw thee, some days ago, at the window watering thy flowers and espying thy face and wrists he fell in love at first sight. I let him know what happened to me the last time I was with thee, whereupon his ailment increased, he took to the pillow and he is naught now but a dead man, and no doubt whatever of it." At this she turned pale and asked, "All this for my sake?"; and I answered, "Ay, by Allah![608] what wouldst thou have me do?" Said she, "Go back to him and greet him for me and tell him that I am twice more heartsick than he is. And on Friday, before the hour of public prayer, bid him here to the house, and I will come down and open the door for him. Then I will carry him up to my chamber and foregather with him for awhile, and let him depart before my father return from the Mosque." When I heard the old woman's words, all my sickness suddenly fell from me, my anguish ceased and my heart was comforted, I took off what clothes were on me and gave them to her and, as she turned to go, she said; "Keep a good heart!" "I have not a jot of sorrow left," I replied. My household and intimates rejoiced in my recovery and I abode thus till Friday, when behold, the old woman came in and asked me how I did, to which I answered that I was well and in good case. Then I donned my clothes and perfumed myself and sat down to await the congregation going in to prayers, that I might betake myself to her. But the old woman said to me, "Thou hast time and to spare: so thou wouldst do well to go to the Hammam and have thy hair shaven off (especially after thy ailment), so as not to show traces of sickness." "This were the best way," answered I, "I have just now bathed in hot water; but I will have my head shaved." Then I said to my page, "Go to the bazar and bring me a barber, a discreet fellow and one not inclined to meddling or impertinent curiosity or likely to split my head with his excessive talk."[609] The boy went out at once and brought back with him this wretched old man, this Shaykh of ill-omen. When he came in he saluted me and I returned his salutation; then quoth he, "Of a truth I see thee thin of body;" and quoth I, "I have been ailing." He continued, "Allah drive far away from thee thy woe and thy sorrow and thy trouble and thy distress." "Allah grant thy prayer!" said I. He pursued, "All gladness to thee, O my master, for indeed recovery is come to thee. Dost thou wish to be polled or to be blooded? Indeed it was a tradition of Ibn Abbas[610] (Allah accept of him!) that the Apostle said:—Whoso cutteth his hair on a Friday, the Lord shall avert from him threescore and ten calamities; and again is related of him also that he said:—Cupping on a Friday keepeth from loss of sight and a host of diseases." "Leave this talk," I cried; "come, shave me my head at once for I can't stand it." So he rose and put forth his hand in most leisurely way and took out a kerchief and unfolded it, and lo! it contained an astrolabe[611] with seven parallel plates mounted in silver. Then he went to the middle of the court and raised head and instrument towards the sun's rays and looked for a long while. When this was over, he came back and said to me, "Know that there have elapsed of this our day, which be Friday, and this Friday be the tenth of the month Safar in the six hundred and fifty-third year since the Hegira or Flight of the Apostle (on whom be the bestest of blessings and peace!) and the seventh thousand three hundred and twentieth year of the era of Alexander, eight degrees and six minutes. Furthermore the ascendant of this our day is, according to the exactest science of computation, the planet Mars; and it so happeneth that Mercury is in conjunction with him, denoting an auspicious moment for hair-cutting; and this also maketh manifest to me that thou desirest union with a certain person and that your intercourse will not be propitious. But after this there occurreth a sign respecting a matter which will befal thee and whereof I will not speak." "O thou," cried I, "by Allah, thou weariest me and scatterest my wits and thy forecast is other than good; I sent for thee to poll my head and naught else: so up and shave me and prolong not thy speech." "By Allah," replied he, "if thou but knew what is about to befal thee, thou wouldst do nothing this day, and I counsel thee to act as I tell thee by computation of the constellations." "By Allah," said I, "never did I see a barber who excelled in judicial astrology save thyself: but I think and I know that thou art most prodigal of frivolous talk. I sent for thee only to shave my head, but thou comest and pesterest me with this sorry prattle." "What more wouldst thou have?" replied he. "Allah hath bounteously bestowed on thee a Barber, who is an astrologer, one learned in alchemy and white magic[612]; syntax, grammar, and lexicology; the arts of logic, rhetoric and elocution; mathematics, arithmetic and algebra; astronomy, astromancy and geometry; theology, the Traditions of the Apostle and the Commentaries on the Koran. Furthermore, I have read books galore and digested them and have had experience of affairs and comprehended them. In short I have learned the theorick and the practick of all the arts and sciences; I know everything of them by rote and I am a past master _in totâ re scibili_. Thy father loved me for my lack of officiousness, argal, to serve thee is a religious duty incumbent on me. I am no busy-body as thou seemest to suppose, and on this account I am known as The Silent Man, also, The Modest Man. Wherefore it behoveth thee to render thanks to Allah Almighty and not cross me, for I am a true counsellor to thee and benevolently minded towards thee. Would that I were in thy service a whole year that thou mightest do me justice; and I would ask thee no wage for all this." When I heard his flow of words, I said to him, "Doubtless thou wilt be my death this day!"——And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.

[Illustration]

Now when it was the Thirtieth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the young man said to the Barber, "Thou certainly wilt be the death of me this very day!" "O master mine," replied he, "I am he, The Silent Man hight, by reason of the fewness of my words, to distinguish me from my six brothers. For the eldest is called Al-Bakbúk, the prattler; the second Al-Haddár, the babbler; the third Al-Fakík, the gabbler; the fourth, his name is Al-Kuz al-aswáni, the long-necked Gugglet, from his eternal chattering; the fifth is Al-Nashshár, the tattler and tale-teller; the sixth Shakáshik, or many-clamours; and the seventh is famous as Al-Sámit, the Silent Man, and this is my noble self!" Whilst he redoubled his talk, I thought my gall-bladder would have burst; so I said to the servant, "Give him a quarter-dinar and dismiss him and let him go from me in the name of God who made him. I won't have my head shaved to-day." "What words be these, O my lord?" cried he. "By Allah! I will accept no hire of thee till I have served thee and have ministered to thy wants; and I care not if I never take money of thee. If thou know not my quality, I know thine; and I owe thy father, honest man, on whom Allah Almighty have mercy! many a kindness, for he was a liberal soul and a generous. By Allah, he sent for me one day, as it were this blessed day, and I went in to him and found a party of his intimates about him." Quoth he to me, "Let me blood;" so I pulled out my astrolabe and, taking the sun's altitude for him, I ascertained that the ascendant was inauspicious and the hour unfavourable for blooding. I told him of this, and he did according to my bidding and awaited a better opportunity. So I made these lines in honour of him:—

I went to my patron some blood to let him, ✿ But found that the moment was far from good: So I sat and I talked of all strangenesses, ✿ And with jests and jokes his good will I wooed: They pleased him and cried he, 'O man of wit, ✿ Thou hast proved thee perfect in merry mood!' Quoth I, 'O thou Lord of men, save thou ✿ Lend me art and wisdom I'm fou and wood: In thee gather grace, boon, bounty, suavity; ✿ And I guerdon the world with lore, science and gravity.

Thy father was delighted and cried out to the servant, "Give him an hundred and three gold pieces with a robe of honour!" The man obeyed his orders, and I awaited an auspicious moment, when I blooded him; and he did not baulk me; nay he thanked me and I was also thanked and praised by all present. When the bloodletting was over I had no power to keep silence and asked him, "By Allah, O my lord, what made thee say to the servant:—Give him an hundred and _three_ dinars?"; and he answered, "One dinar was for the astrological observation, another for thy pleasant conversation, the third for the phlebotomisation, and the remaining hundred and the dress were for thy verses in my commendation." "May Allah show small mercy to my father," exclaimed I, "for knowing the like of thee." He laughed and ejaculated, "There is no god but _the_ God and Mohammed is the Apostle of God! Glory to Him that changeth and is changed not! I took thee for a man of sense, but I see thou babblest and dotest for illness. Allah hath said in the Blessed Book[613]:—Paradise is prepared for the goodly who bridle their anger and forgive men, and so forth; and in any case thou art excused. Yet I cannot conceive the cause of thy hurry and flurry; and thou must know that thy father and thy grandfather did nothing without consulting me, and indeed it hath been said truly enough:—Let the adviser be prized; and:—There is no vice in advice; and it is also said in certain saws, Whoso hath no counsellor elder than he, will never himself an elder be[614]; and the poet says:—

Whatever needful thing thou undertake, ✿ Consult th' experienced and contraire him not!"

And indeed thou shalt never find a man better versed in affairs than I, and I am here standing on my feet to serve thee. I am not vexed with thee: why shouldest thou be vexed with me? But whatever happen I will bear patiently with thee in memory of the much kindness thy father shewed me." "By Allah," cried I, "O thou with tongue long as the tail of a jackass, thou persistest in pestering me with thy prate and thou becomest more longsome in thy long speeches, when all I want of thee is to shave my head and wend thy way!" Then he lathered my head saying, "I perceive thou art vexed with me, but I will not take it ill of thee, for thy wit is weak and thou art but a laddy: it was only yesterday I used to take thee on my shoulder[615] and carry thee to school." "O my brother," said I, "for Allah's sake do what I want and go thy gait!" And I rent my garments.[616] When he saw me do this he took the razor and fell to sharpening it and gave not over stropping it until my senses were well nigh leaving me. Then he came up to me and shaved part of my head; then he held his hand and then he said, "O my lord, haste is Satan's gait whilst patience is of Allah the Compassionate. But thou, O my master, I ken thou knowest not my rank; for verily this hand alighteth upon the heads of Kings and Emirs and Wazirs, and sages and doctors learned in the law, and the poet said of one like me:—

All crafts are like necklaces strung on a string, ✿ But this Barber's the union pearl of the band: High over all craftsmen he ranketh, and why? ✿ The heads of the Kings are under his hand!"[617]

Then said I, "_Do_ leave off talking about what concerneth thee not: indeed thou hast straitened my breast and distracted my mind." Quoth he, "Meseems thou art a hasty man;" and quoth I, "Yes! yes! yes!" and he, "I rede thee practise restraint of self, for haste is Satan's pelf which bequeatheth only repentance and ban and bane, and He (upon whom be blessings and peace!) hath said, The best of works is that wherein deliberation lurks: but I, by Allah! have some doubt about thine affair; and so I should like thee to let me know what it is thou art in such haste to do; for I fear me it is other than good." Then he continued, "It wanteth three hours yet to prayer-time; but I do not wish to be in doubt upon this matter; nay, I must know the moment exactly, for truly:—A guess shot in times of doubt, oft brings harm about; especially in the like of me, a superior person whose merits are famous amongst mankind at large; and it doth not befit me to talk at random, as do the common sort of astrologers." So saying, he threw down the razor and taking up the astrolabe, went forth under the sun and stood there a long time; after which he returned and counting on his fingers said to me, "There remain still to prayer-time three full hours and complete, neither more nor yet less, according to the most learned astronomicals and the wisest makers of almanacks." "Allah upon thee," cried I, "hold thy tongue with me, for thou breakest my liver in pieces." So he took the razor and, after sharpening it as before and shaving other two hairs of my head, he again held his hand and said, "I am concerned about thy hastiness and indeed thou wouldst do well to let me into the cause of it; 'twere the better for thee, as thou knowest that neither thy father nor thy grandfather ever did a single thing save by my advice." When I saw that there was no escape from him I said to myself, "The time for prayer draws near and I wish to go to her before the folk come out of the mosque. If I am delayed much longer, I know not how to come at her." Then said I aloud, "Be quick and stint this talk and impertinence, for I have to go to a party at the house of some of my intimates." When he heard me speak of the party, he said, "This thy day is a blessed day for me! In very sooth it was but yesterday I invited a company of my friends and I have forgotten to provide anything for them to eat. This very moment I was thinking of it: Alas, how I shall be disgraced in their eyes!" "Be not distressed about this matter," answered I; "have I not told thee that I am bidden to an entertainment this day? So everything in my house, eatable and drinkable, shall be thine, if thou wilt only get through thy work and make haste to shave my head." He replied, "Allah requite thee with good! Specify to me what is in thy house for my guests that I may be ware of it." Quoth I, "Five dishes of meat and ten chickens with reddened breasts[618] and a roasted lamb." "Set them before me," quoth he, "that I may see them." So I told my people to buy, borrow or steal them and bring them in anywise, and had all this set before him. When he saw it he cried, "The wine is wanting," and I replied, "I have a flagon or two of good old grape-juice in the house," and he said, "Have it brought out!" So I sent for it and he exclaimed, "Allah bless thee for a generous disposition! But there are still the essences and perfumes." So I bade them set before him a box containing Nadd,[619] the best of compound perfumes, together with fine lign-aloes, ambergris and musk unmixed, the whole worth fifty dinars. Now the time waxed strait and my heart straitened with it; so I said to him, "Take it all and finish shaving my head by the life of Mohammed (whom Allah bless and keep!)." "By Allah," said he, "I will not take it till I see all that is in it." So I bade the page open the box and the Barber laid down the astrolabe, leaving the greater part of my head unpolled; and, sitting on the ground, turned over the scents and incense and aloes-wood and essences till I was well nigh distraught. Then he took the razor and coming up to me shaved off some few hairs and repeated these lines:—

The boy like his father shall surely show, ✿ As the tree from its parent root shall grow.[620]

Then said he, "By Allah, O my son, I know not whether to thank thee or thy father; for my entertainment this day is all due to thy bounty and beneficence; and, although none of my company be worthy of it, yet I have a set of honourable men, to wit Zantút the bath-keeper and Salí'a the corn-chandler; and Sílat the bean-seller; and Akrashah the greengrocer; and Humayd the scavenger; and Sa'íd the camel-man; and Suwayd the porter; and Abu Makárish the bathman[621]; and Kasím the watchman; and Karím the groom. There is not among the whole of them a bore or a bully in his cups; nor a meddler nor a miser of his money, and each and every hath some dance which he danceth and some of his own couplets which he caroleth; and the best of them is that, like thy servant, thy slave here, they know not what much talking is nor what forwardness means." The bath-keeper sings to the tom-tom[622] a song which enchants; and he stands up and dances and chants,

I am going, O mammy, to fill up my pot.

As for the corn-chandler he brings more skill to it than any; he dances and sings,

O Keener,[623] O sweetheart, thou fallest not short

and he leaves no one's vitals sound for laughing at him. But the scavenger sings so that the birds stop to listen to him and dances and sings,

News my wife wots is not locked in a box![624]

And he hath privilege, for 'tis a shrewd rogue and a witty;[625] and speaking of his excellence I am wont to say:—

"My life for the scavenger! right well I love him, ✿ Like a waving bough he is sweet to my sight: Fate joined us one night, when to him quoth I ✿ (The while I grew weak and love gained more might) 'Thy love burns my heart!' 'And no wonder,' quoth he ✿ 'When the drawer of dung turns a stoker wight.'[626]