Part 10
From the High School of Eton wrote head-master, Mr. Squeers: "If they don't behave as they should do, why, soundly box their ears." From the Grammar School of Harrow wrote head-master, Mr. Phfool: "If they do not behave themselves, expel them from the school." From the Training School of Rugby wrote head-master, Mr Wist: "Just take a handful of their hair, and give a sharp, short twist." From the College School of Oxford wrote Professor Rarey Hook: "Instead of nearly killing, overawe them with a look." From the Bible School of Cambridge wrote Professor William Brying: "Well whip them with a birchen rod, and never mind their crying." From the Blue Coat School of London wrote Professor Rupert Gower: "At arm's length make them hold a book the space of half-an-hour." From the Naval School of Liverpool wrote head-master Mr. Jointer: "Just rap them on the knuckles with a common teacher's pointer." From the People's School of Manchester wrote head-master Mr. Flowers: "Make them kneel down as still as death for just about two hours." From the Infant School of Birmingham wrote Professor Dory Heller: "Just put on them a fool's cap, marked 'dunce,' 'thief,' or 'story-teller'." From the Charity school of Sheffield wrote head-master, Mr. Clay: "If the boys are disobedient, do not let them out to play." From the Gentleman's School at Brighton wrote Professor Robert Flask: "If the boys will act unruly, why, just make them do a task." From the National School of Bristol wrote Professor Mark Groom: "If the boys are extra naughty, shut them in a dark room." From the District School of Edenburgh wrote head-master, Mr. Glass: "The naughty boys should all be sent to the bottom of the class." From the Mixed School of Glasgow wrote Professor Duncan Law: "To keep a proper kind of school, just use the three-tailed taw." From the Latin School of Dublin wrote Professor Patrick Clayrence: "If the boys are very bad boys, write a letter to their parents." From the Mission School, Calcutta, wrote the Rev. Mr. Mac Look: "Try them by a boy jury, write the verdict in a black-book." From the Lyceum of New York wrote Professor Henry Bothing: "Take your delinquent boys one hour and make them sit on nothing." From the Public School, Chicago, wrote head-master, Mr. Norrids: "If they will not behave themselves, why, just you slap their foreheads." From, the Academy of San Francisco wrote head-master, Mr. Power: "Make them stoop and hold their fingers on the floor for just an hour." From the Mormon School of Utah wrote Professor Orson Pratt: "First strip and make them fast, and then just use the little cat." From the King's College, Lisbon, wrote Professor Don Cassiers: "If you want to make them good boys, pull, pinch, and twist their ears." From the Cadet's School of Paris wrote Professor Monsieur Sour: "Just make them hold their hands above their heads for one full hour." From the Royal School of Amsterdam wrote Professor Vander Tooler: "If they will not behave themselves, just trounce them with a ruler." From the Model School of Pekin wrote Professor Cha Han Coo: "Just put their hands into the stocks and beat with a bamboo." From the Normal School of Moscow wrote Professor Ivan Troute: "To make your boys the best of boys, why, just use the knout." From the Muslim School of Cairo wrote the Mufti, Pasha Saido: "Upon the bare soles of their feet give them the bastinado." From the Common School of Berlin wrote Professor Von de Rind: "There's nothing like the old, old way that ever could I find; Just lay them right across your knee and cane them well behind. I've only just been speaking mit mine goot frien', Doctor Whistim, And he says that it does no harm, but is felt throughout the system." At last, as I was thinking deep how puzzling all this looks, I received a tempting offer from a certain Mr. Snooks. His "great machine to whip with speed" I brought with flusteration, But to see just how it did succeed you view the illustration.
And then look at "Professor Cole's Gentle Persuader." next page.
[Page 41--Whipping Machine]
[Illustration: Cole's Patent Whipping Machine.]
Cole's Patent Whipping Machine for Flogging Naughty Boys in School
Testimonial from a Schoolmaster _(To Mr. Cole, Book Arcade, Melbourne)_
SIR--Your Patent Flogger is a "keen" Success as a labor-saving machine; 'Twill yet be held in great esteem, Already 'tis the Poet's theme; It's the greatest patent that's ever been In or out of a schoolroom seen; And as you have got it to go by steam, School-life will now be all serene.
I have not had a bad boy remaining now, but before I used your machine they used to be a frightful lot of young scamps. For instance, in my school of 1000, the first day the machine was introduced, 741 were punished for various misdeeds, and 103 for single offences, were flogged as follows:--
John Hawking, for talking William Winning, for grinning George Highing, for crying Edward Daring, for swearing Henry Wheeling, for stealing Peter Bitting, for spitting Robert Hocking, for smoking Frederick Mention, for inattention Joseph Footing, for pea-shooting Luke Jones, for throwing stones Matthew Sauter, for squirting water Nicholas Storms, for upsetting forms Reuben Wrens, for spoiling pens Samuel Jinks, for spilling ink Simon McLeod, for laughing aloud Timothy Stacies, for making faces Victor Bloomers, for taking lunars Vincent James, for calling names Caleb Hales, for telling tales Daniel Padley, for writing badly David Jessons, for cribbing lessons Edmond Gate, for coming late Ezra Lopen, for leaving the door open Edwin Druent, for playing the truant Charles Case, for leaving his place Ernest Jewell, for eating during school Coo Ah Hi, for using a shanghai Francis Berindo, for breaking a window Harold Tate, for breaking his slate Isaac Joys, for making noise Jacob Crook, for tearing his book Christopher Moyes, for teasing other boys Elisha Sewell, for bolting from school Conrad Draper, for throwing chewed paper Ebenezer Good, for telling a falsehood Felix Snooks, for coming without books Cyril Froude, for speaking too loud Elijah Rowe, for speaking too low Gregory Meek, for refusing to speak Hannibal Hartz, for throwing paper darts Horace Poole, for whistling in school Hubert Shore, for slamming the door Jesse Blane, for hiding the cane Jonah Platts, for hiding boys' hats Aaron Esk, for cutting the desk Abner Rule, for sleeping in school Adam Street, for changing his seat Albert Mayne, for splitting the teacher's cane Alexander Tressons, for reading during other lessons Alfred Hoole, for eating lollies in school Ambrose Hooke, for blotting his copy-book Amos Blair, for not combing his hair Andrew Grace, for not washing his face Anthony Sands, for not washing his hands Arnold Cootz, for coming in with dirty boots Benjamin Guess, for coming with untidy dress Clarence Hyneman, for annoying a stray Chinaman Michael McToole, for bringing stones to school Cuthbert Flindow, for climbing through the window Edgar Gasking, for going without asking Eric Grout, for kicking boys' hats about Enoch McKay, for pinching the next boy Gabriel Cook, for tearing a boy's book Hyram Pope, for pulling the bell rope Humphrey Proof, for getting on the roof Jonah Earls, for chasing school-girls Jonathan Spence, for climbing over the fence Phillip Cannister, for sliding down the bannister Lambert Hesk, for sliding on a desk Lawrence Storm, for standing on a form Lazarus Beet, for stamping with his feet Leopold Bate, for swinging on the gate Lewis Lesks, for kicking legs of desks Mark Vine, for overstepping the toe-line Nathan Corder, for not marching in order Norman Hall, for scribbling on the wall James Mace, for hitting a boy in the face Thomas Sayers, for pushing boys down the stairs Oswald Hook, for losing a school-book Ralph Chesson, for not knowing his lesson Sampson Skinner, for eating another boy's dinner Solomon Brook, for scribbling in his book Stephen Platt, for chasing the master's cat Neal M'Kimney, dropping a brick down the chimney Theodore Le Soof, for throwing stones on the roof Valentine Rapp, for turning on the water-tap Walter Hope, for climbing up the bell-rope Joshua Gail, for catching flies on the wall Raymond Esk, for sticking pins in the desk Julian State, for drawing pictures on his slate Gerald Astor, for being impudent to the master Augustus Roff, for not taking his hat off Rupert Keats, for fixing pens in boys' seats Maurice Took, for having a dirty copybook Esau Klaster, for drawing caricatures of the master Paul Bhool, for letting a bird loose in school Jabez Breeding, for not knowing the place at reading Levi Stout, for stopping too long when let out Guy M'Gill, sharpening a knife on the window-sill Duncan Heather, pinning two boys' coat-tails together Ezekiel Black, pinning paper on another boy's back Patrick O'Toole, for bursting a paper-bag in school Eli Teet, for putting cobbler's wax on master's seat
[Page 42--Dolly Land]
[Illustration: Girl Showing Dolly to Polly.]
My Lady Doll
My Lady-doll is pretty, My Lady-doll is sweet; I like to show my Lady-doll To every one I meet
My Sweet Dolly Rose
O sweet, so sweet, Is my Dolly Rose! Just all that I know My Dolly knows; And when I am glad The darling is glad And when I am sad The darling is sad. How dear she is, O, nobody knows, No, no, not even My precious Rose
Polly's Dolly
Shining eyes, very blue, Opened very wide; Yellow curls, very stiff, Hanging side by side; Chubby cheeks, very pink, Lips red as holly; No ears, and only thumbs-- That's Polly's Dolly.
Pretty Doll
Oh dear! what a beautiful doll My sister has bought at the fair She says I must call it Miss Poll, And make it a bonnet to wear.
Oh pretty new doll, it looks fine! It's cheeks are all covered with red. But pray will it always be mine? And please may I take it to bed?
How kind was my sister to buy This dolly with hair that will curl; Perhaps, if you want to know why, It's because I've been a good girl.
POEMS FOR CHILDREN
[Illustration: Puss with Doll.]
Puss's Doll
Now Puss had a doll That Dame Trot bought to please her, And gave it the beautiful Name of Louisa And when Kitty was lonesome Or wanted to play, She'd cry for Loo! Loo! In a comical way.
The dolly was petted, Was kissed and caressed, Though often quite roughly It must be confessed And so pleased was Miss Puss With Louisa's fair charms, She took her cat's meat, With the doll in her arms
[Illustration: Pussy and Doggy Fighting for Dolly.]
Pussy and Doggy Fighting for Dolly
And once, I remember, Oh, sad was the day, The cat answered back In an impudent way. And tray was so jealous, The two had a fight, And between them the doll Was a terrible fright
[Page 43--Dolly Land]
[Illustration: Dolly Tumbled out of Bed.]
Dolly Tumbled out of Bed
'Tis very well to smile--now, But you gave me such a fright, When I missed you, darling Dolly, In the middle of the night.
I thought we played together, And you fell into a stream; Yet I said--just half awaking-- "'Tis nothing but a dream.
"For safe upon my pillow Lies her curly golden hair," Then I reached my hand to touch you, But I couldn't find you there.
I felt so sad and lonely That I cried, but all in vain; So to see if I could find you, I went off to sleep again.
Now, fancy! in the morning There you were, all safe and right; And nurse said, "Here's poor Dolly, Been upon the floor all night!"
Your pretty curls are tangled, They were so nice and smooth before; So promise, Dolly darling, You will tumble out no more!
Dolly and I
I love my dear dolly; I'll tell you her name, I called her "Sweet Polly" The day that she came.
My Uncle John brought her From over the sea; And no one shall part us, My dolly and me.
She has cheeks like red roses, And eyes blue and bright, That open with daylight, And close with the night.
She cries, and says, "Mam-ma, Mam-mam-ma," so well, That it is not a baby You scarcely can tell.
You know, I'm her own ma; A small one, you'll say, But just right for dolly, Who wants nought but play.
No teaching, no training, Few clothes and no food; And I like being her ma, Because she's so good.
Dolly's Broken Arm
Mamma, do send for Doctor Man, And tell him to be quick, My dolly fell and broke her arm, So she is very sick.
I thought that she was fast asleep, And laid her on her bed, But down she dropped upon the floor; O dear! she's almost dead!
Poor dolly! she was just as brave, And did not cry at all; Do you suppose she ever can Get over such a fall?
But when the doctor mends her arm, And wraps it up so tight, Then I will be her little nurse, And watch her all the night.
And if she only will get well, And does not lose her arm, I'll never let her fall again, Nor suffer any harm.
Little Polly
Little Polly, Had a dolly, With a curly wig; And Miss Polly And her dolly, Often danced a jig.
Also Polly had a collie, A fine dog was he; Blithe and jolly, Jumped round Polly, Barking loud with glee.
One day Polly Knocked her dolly, Broke its pretty head. "Oh, fie, Polly! Don't hurt dolly," Said her brother Ned.
Then did Polly Take up Dolly, Throw it on the floor. Said Miss Polly, In her folly "I will play no more."
Up ran collie, Seized poor dolly, Ran off to a friend. Friend helped collie To tear up dolly-- That was poor dolly's end.
[Illustration: Reading Dolly Land.]
[Illustration: Two Dollies Getting Up.]
[Page 44--Dolly Land]
[Illustration: Girl with Dolly.]
A Little Girl's Song to Her Dolly
Lie down, little Dolly. Lie still on my lap, It's time now to put on Your night dress and cap; You have not been to sleep All through this long day Oh, what a long time For a Dolly to play!
The bright sun went down More than two hours ago; It is long past your bedtime, You very well know: The stars are now peeping From out the blue skies; Then go to sleep, Dolly! Come, shut your blue eyes.
Mamma says the flowers Were asleep long ago-- Sweet roses and lilies, Their heads bending low; She says 'tis a lesson For me and for you-- That children and dollies Should be asleep too.
Hark! Susan is calling-- Now out goes the light; I will tug you up snugly, And kiss you good night. It is time you were sleeping For do you not know The dear little birds Went to sleep long ago?
Don't Cry My Dolly
Hushy, baby, my dolly, I pray you don't cry, And I'll give you some bread And some milk by and by; Or perhaps you like custard, Or maybe a tart,-- Then to either you're welcome, With all my whole heart.
The Little Girl and Her Doll
There, got to sleep, Dolly, In own mother's lap, I've put on your nightgown And neat little cap. So sleep, pretty baby, And shut up your eye, Bye-bye, little Dolly, Lie still, and bye-bye. I'll lay my clean handkerchief Over your head, And then make believe That my lap is your bed; So hush, little dear, And be sure you don't cry. Bye-bye, little Dolly, Lie still, and bye-bye.
There, now it is morning And time to get up, And I'll give you some milk In my doll's china cup. So wake up, little baby And open your eye, For I think it high time To have done with bye-bye.
Jane Taylor
Sleep, Dolly Sleep
Sleep, Dolly, sleep. You must not, must not weep. Now close your eyes so brown, And let me lay you down. Sleep, Dolly, sleep. Wake, Dolly, wake, Too long a nap you take; It's time to make the tea, And you must help, you see. Wake, Dolly, wake. Run, Dolly, run, Run out in golden sun; Run up the hill with me, And then to the apple-tree. Run, Dolly, run.
Mrs Hibbert
My Dolly
Shut your eyes, my darling! When the shadows creep, When the flowers are closing Little ones must sleep.
Don't be frightened, Dolly! In my arms you lie; Nestle down and slumber To my lullaby
Dolly is so active, Always full of fun, Wakeful still and smiling E'en when day is done
Hush thee now, my dearest, To my slumber-song; Children lose their roses, Sitting up too long.
My Dolly
I must go home to dolly, And put her to bed; I know she's so tired, She can't raise her head.
Some dolls are so old, They can sit up till eight, But mine gets quite ill If she stays up so late!
Dolly's Asleep
Tell me a story Just one, mother dear. Candles are coming Bedtime is near There is my hand to hold Bend down your head, Don't speak too loud, mother, Dolly's in bed
No! not the story Of old Jack and Jill They were so stupid To tumble down the hill. I'm tired of Jack Horner And Little Bo-peep.-- Stay! let me see If Dolly's asleep.
Hush, Dolly darling! I'm watching, you know No one shall hurt you; I will not go. You are so warm,-- Like a bird in it's nest. Go to sleep, darling,-- Rest, Dolly, rest.
Ah! there is Mary Just come in with a light: Now there is no time For a story to-night, Please make the boys, mother, Mind how they tread. Their boots are so heavy, And--Dolly's in bed.
Good night, dear mother! Ask papa, please, When he comes home, Not to cough or to sneeze Give me your hand, Mary Hush! softly creep; We must not wake her,-- Dolly's asleep.
If at all restless Or wakeful she seems, Don't be to anxious; I fancy she dreams. Say to her softly, Just shaking your head; "Go to sleep, Dolly,-- Adie's in bed."
[Illustration: HUSH! (Dolls are sleeping.)]
[Page 45--Dolly Land]
[Illustration: Girl with Doll.]
Lost Dolly
The sunflowers hang their heavy heads And wish the sun would shine; The clouds are grey; the wind is cold. "Where is that doll of mine? The dark is coming fast," said she. "I'm in a dreadful fright. I don't know where I left my doll, And she'll be out all night
"Twice up and down the garden-walks I looked; but she's not there, Oh! yes, I've hunted in the hay; I've hunted everywhere. I must have left her out of doors, But she is not in sight. No Dolly in the summer-house, And she'll be out all night.
"The dew will wet her through and through And spoil her dear best dress; And she will wonder where I am And be in such distress; The dogs may find her in the grass, And bark or even bite; And all the bats will frighten her That fly about at night.
"I've not been down into the woods Or by the brook to-day. I'm sure I had her in my arms When I came out to play, Just after dinner; then I know, I watched Tom make his kite. Will anybody steal my doll If she stays out all night.
"I wonder where Papa has gone? Why, here he comes; and see He's bringing something in his hand; That's Dolly certainly! And so you found her in the chaise, And brought her home all right? I'll take her to the baby-house. I'm glad she's home tonight."
Sarah O. Jewett
Talking To Dolly
Well, Dolly, what are you saying, When you blink and wink your eyes? I'm sure your thoughts are straying, For you look so very wise.
I wonder what you think about, And why you never talk, And how it is you never shout, And never try to walk!
I wonder if you're ever sad, And if you ever weep; I wonder if you're ever glad When I rock you off to sleep.
I wonder if you love me well-- As well as I love you. I do so wish you'd try and tell; Come, Dolly, darling, do!
Darling Dolly
Darling Dolly's house shall be High as lofty apple-tree; It shall have a door inlaid, Of the sweetest light and shade.
It shall have for pictures fair Fancies that are rich and rare; It shall have a golden roof, And tapestry with stars for woof.
And it shall have a dome of blue With the moonlight streaming through, And stately pillars, straight as firs, Bending to each wind that stirs.
Darling Dolly's house shall be High as a lofty apple-tree; It shall have a door inlaid, Of the sweetest light and shade.
[Illustration: Girl Showing Doll to Another Girl.]
Sour Grapes
"Such a doll! I wouldn't have it, With its trailing baby dress! Pooh! a dolly twice as handsome I could have for asking, Bess. Needn't ask me if it's pretty, No, I do not care to wait, I am in an awful hurry, If you keep me, I'll be late."
Off went Nannie, proud lip curling, Head uplifted in disdain, Bessie hugged her dolly closely, Laughing over truth so plain. "Nan was envious, Dolly darling, 'Twasn't aught of wrong in you, But the trouble lay in Nannie, She would like to own you too."
[Illustration: My Dolly House.]
[Page 46--Dolly Land]
[Illustration: Oh, you Naughty Dog to Bite my Dolly.]
[Illustration: Boo! Boo! Boo! He has Swallowed my Dolly.]
Ten Little Dollies
Ten little dollies Standing in a line, One tumbled down, And then there were nine.
Nine little dollies Sitting up so late, One went to sleep Then there were eight.
Eight little dollies-- All their ages even, One grew up tall And then there were seven.
Seven little dollies, Full of funny tricks, One snapt her head off Then there were six.
Six little dollies-- Looked almost alive, One lost her "pin-back," Then there were five.
Five little dollies, Walking by a door, One got her nose pinched, Then there were four.
Four little dollies On their mamma's knee, One cried her eyes out, Then there were three.
Three little dollies, Didn't know what to do, One tore her bows off, Then there were two.
Two little dollies, Very fond of fun, One melts her nose off, Then there was one.
One little dolly, Living all alone, Died broken-hearted, Then there were none.
[Illustration: Teaching Dolly ABC.]
[Illustration: Kissing after a Doll Quarrel.]
[Page 47--Dolly Land]
[Illustration: Washing Dolly's Clothes.]
My Week
On Monday I wash my dollies' clothes, On Tuesday smoothly press 'em, On Wednesday mend their little hose, On Thursday neatly dress 'em.
On Friday I play they're taken ill, On Saturday something or other; But when Sunday comes, I say, "Lie still, I'm going to church with mother."
[Illustration: Giving Dolly a Bath.]
Dirty Dolly
Naughty Miss Dolly played out in the mud, And got all her clothes quite black; And now such a rubbing, and scrubbing and tubbing As we have to give them, good lack!
'Tis hard to be mothers and laundresses too, And nurses and cooks beside. Grown people don't know all we chicks have to do, For how can they tell till they've tried?
Washing Day Troubles
I know a little girl who tried, To wash her dolly's clothes, one day, In Bridget's great, big tub, and cried Because mamma sent her away
To find her own small dolly-tub, More fit for little girls to use. But naughty Sally shook her head And all suggestions did refuse.