Part 12

Now I must end beloved Mama. God bless you and comfort you, and in these days let sometimes the thought of your absent child, who was at your side during that dreadful time, mingle with the recollection of the past!

DARMSTADT, December 14th.

BELOVED, PRECIOUS MAMA:--On awaking this morning, my first thoughts were of you and of dear, darling Papa! Oh, how it reopens the wounds scarcely healed, when this day of pain and anguish returns! This season of the year the leafless trees, the cold light, every thing reminds me of that time!

Thousand thanks for your dear letter received yesterday. _Well_, only _too well_, do I remember every hour, almost every minute, of those days, and I have such an inexpressible longing to throw my arms round your neck, and to let my tears flow with yours, while kneeling at that beautiful grave.

The tender love and the deep sorrow caused by His loss remain ever with me, and will accompany me through life. At the age I then was, with its sensitive feelings, it made an impression which, I think, nothing can efface--above all, the witnessing your grief. Happily married as I am, and with such a good, excellent, and loving husband, how far more can I understand _now_ the depth of that grief which tore your lives asunder! I played our dear Papa’s organ under his beloved picture this morning, and my heart and my thoughts were in dear England with you all.

We found our children well on our return, and Irène prospers perfectly on her donkey’s milk.

My mother-in-law is so much pleased with the book,[69] and it has interested her very much. She came to see me early this morning on account of its being the 14th. She is always so kind and full of attentions.

DARMSTADT, December 17th.

How dear of you to have written to me on the 14th; thousand thanks for your letter! How much I thought of _all_ on that day you can imagine; also what good it did me to know that you still thought of me so kindly with those recollections. I am so sorry to hear that you are so suffering. I hope Osborne will do you good, and that rest and quiet will refresh you.

DARMSTADT, December 21st.

* * * I hope by this time that you are quite recovered, though this mild damp weather is not made to give one strength. I feel it so much also, and am really only kept alive by steel, for off and on I am so weak that I nearly faint if I have to stand any time, and this is so unpleasant.

* * * I am trying to found what is no small undertaking: a “_Frauen-Verein_” to be spread all over the land in different committees, the central one being here under my direction, for the purpose of assisting the International Convention for nursing and supporting the troops in time of war, which was founded at Geneva, and to which this country also belongs. The duty in time of peace will be to have nurses brought up and educated for the task, who can then assist in other hospitals or amongst the poor, or to nurse the rich, wherever they may be required in time of war. This committee of women has to collect all the necessary things for the wounded and for the marching troops, has to see to their being sent to right places, etc.

All these things were done by private people in this war, and, though quantities of things were sent, the whole plan was not organized, so that there was want and surplus at the same time.

In time of peace these things should be organized, so that, when war comes, people know where to send their things to, and that no volunteer nurses go out who have not first learnt their business.

The same thing exists in Baden, in Bavaria, and in Prussia, and here it is much wanted. But all these undertakings are difficult,

## particularly in the choice of persons to assist one. Still I hope I

shall be able to do it. My mother-in-law helps me, and I hope before long to be able to begin.

The Elector is coming here on a visit to-day, and Uncle Alexander returned from Petersburg last night.

DARMSTADT, December 25th.

* * * I have a dreadful cold, and am not very well besides, so I can but scribble a few lines. To-day we go to the _Bescheerung_ [distribution of Christmas gifts] to the wounded in three hospitals. Of course it will be very hot.

Henry is here for a few days. He looks so handsome in his new uniform with his dark beard. He has grown so good-looking these last few years, and he is so excellent. I am very fond of him. He is likewise so much gayer than formerly.

The good eatables you sent will be given to-night, when Louis’ parents and brothers come to us for dinner.

The children have a party for their tree.

DARMSTADT, December 30th.

* * * May the Almighty give you every blessing of peace and comfort which the world can still give you, till you gain that greater blessing and reward above all others, which is reserved for such as my own sweet mother! May every blessing fall on my old dear home, with all its dear ones! May peace, and the glory which peace and order bring with it, with its many blessings, protect my native land; and may, in the new year, your wise and glorious reign, so overshadowed by dear Papa’s spirit, continue to prosper and be a model and an ornament to the world!

This year of pain and anxiety, and yet for us so rich in blessings, draws to a close. It moves me more than ever as its last day approaches. For how much have we not to thank the Almighty--for my life, which is so unworthy compared to many others, the new life of this little one, and above all the preservation of my own dear husband, who is my all in this life.

The trials of this year must have brought some good with all the evil: good to the individual and good to the multitude. God grant that we may all profit by what we have learnt, and gain more and more that trust in God’s justice and love, which is our guide and support in trouble and in joy! Oh, more than ever have I felt in this year, that God’s goodness and love are indeed beyond comprehension!

* * * I am really glad to hear that you can listen to a little music. Music is such a heavenly thing, and dear Papa loved it so much, that I can’t but think that now it must be soothing, and bring you near to him. * * *

1867.

The experiences of the late war had shown the necessity for an efficient and widespread organization for aid to the sick and wounded on the battlefield. Already in 1865 a society had been formed in Hesse, with Prince and Princess Charles as its patrons, in accordance with the resolutions passed at the Geneva Convention in 1863, and had done good work in the last war. The nursing of the wounded had hitherto been undertaken by “Deaconesses,” Sisters of Mercy, and orders of a kindred nature.

After the close of the war, those at the head of the committee (or Society) made themselves responsible, so far as lay in their power, for the wounded and disabled, and for the families of those who had fallen in the war. It was, however, felt to be very desirable that other committees should be formed throughout the country for the purpose of training specially-qualified nurses.

The Princess was deeply interested in this question--indeed, her whole attention had been directed to it since the beginning of the war, after she had seen what was done in Baden under the direction of the Grand Duchess. She had also before her the example of Florence Nightingale, and the good she had done during and after the Crimean war. The Princess was naturally fond of nursing, and of all that had to do with it, and she therefore eagerly took up the idea of founding a Frauen-Verein, or “Ladies’ Union”--an idea which, under her auspices, was soon most successfully carried out.

She wished lay women and ladies of all classes to join in this undertaking, so that the nursing should not be confined, as heretofore, to religious orders only. After much consultation a committee was formed in 1867, consisting of six ladies and four doctors, with the Princess as President. The central committee of the “Ladies’ Union” was to be at Darmstadt, under the Princess’ direction. The other committees spread over the whole country. Its object was to assist “the nursing and supporting of the troops in times of war,” and in times of peace to “train nurses, to assist other hospitals, or amongst the poor, or to nurse the rich”--in fact, to help wherever help was required. In 1868 the members belonging to the “Ladies’ Union” had greatly increased, and in 1869 they reached the number of 2,500.

The duties of the local committees consisted in collecting money and all necessary materials for the wounded or for the troops on the march. The central committee did its best in times of peace to direct the general attention to this most important question by lectures on the subject, delivered by medical men.

At the time the Princess started this undertaking she was also much occupied with another all-engrossing subject--viz.: the improvement of the condition of poor unmarried women and girls, as well as the education of girls in general. The Princess found an able assistant in Fräulein Louise Büchner--a most distinguished authoress, and the champion of women’s rights, more particularly of the higher education of women.

With her help the Princess formed another committee for the encouragement of “Female Industry.” A permanent Bazaar was established on the 25th of November, 1867, called after the Princess, “The Alice Bazaar,” for the purpose of receiving and disposing of articles of needlework at their proper value, and also for obtaining employment for women of all classes. The “Bazaar” soon became a flourishing institution.

At the beginning of the year 1867 the Prince and Princess went to Gotha, where they met the Crown Prince and Princess of Prussia for the first time since the war. They then went for a few weeks to Berlin. After the threatening rumors of war caused by the Luxembourg question had been dispersed, the Emperor Napoleon invited all the Sovereigns and Princes of Europe to visit the great International Exhibition at Paris. Prince and Princess Louis, amongst others, accepted the invitation, and were at Paris at the same time as the Emperor of Russia, the King of Prussia, and the Crown Prince and Princess of Prussia. The Prince and Princess visited many other places of interest and note at Paris besides the great Exhibition. All institutions for art had a great attraction for her, and she took up the idea most warmly of founding Schools of Design in her own country, as she hoped they would exercise a good influence there.

During the Prince and Princess’ visit the great review of the Imperial troops in the Bois de Boulogne took place; and on that day, too, the happily unsuccessful attempt on the Emperor of Russia’s life was made.

After attending all the festivities at the Imperial Court, where the Prince and Princess received every possible attention and kindness from the Emperor and Empress, they left Paris on the 10th of June, and, having met their children at Calais, crossed over to England. During this stay in England the Princess visited the German and many other Hospitals, and she also assisted in doing the honors for the Queen at several Court festivities. She was present at Windsor and Osborne during the visits of the Sultan, who had been so cordially received in England, and in whose honor a great naval review at Spithead was held.

Prince and Princess Louis returned to Darmstadt in the first days of August; and, having established their children there, they left for St. Moritz in the Engadine, where they intended to spend a month, and where the Princess was to take the baths.

Whilst there they made several excursions, travelling about quite simply, like any other tourists.

On their return to Germany, the Prince and Princess spent a few days with the Grand Duke and Grand Duchess of Baden on the island of Mainau on the Lake of Constance. During the autumn the Princess met several of her own brothers and sisters. She also went to Cassel to meet the Crown Prince and Princess of Prussia, who were returning from a visit to England.

GOTHA, January 15th.

* * * It is a great happiness to be with dear Vicky and Fritz, and the future--that which is to be feared, that which must inevitably come--is of course our constant talk. Whatever comes, our position, and that of other small sovereigns, must undergo a change, which for the older ones will be very hard, and which they will ever feel. Even dear Louis, who is so sensible and reasonable, says he has been brought up with particular rights, which for centuries have been ours, and he feels sore that he is never to inherit them.

Dear aunt seems very well, and is ever like a second mother to us, so loving and kind; also dear uncle. Papa’s and your children are dear to him almost as though they were his own; and he lives to see us with our families and in our homes, whereas darling Papa does not. Yesterday the _Braut von Messina_ was given--that beautiful piece which Papa was so fond of. I thought so much of you.

On Thursday Vicky and Fritz go to Berlin. We remain here until Sunday afternoon, as on Sunday is the Ordensfest; and as many will be decorated who fought against us, Louis thought it better to arrive after the ceremony. Hermann is here still. He has been to see Feo,[70] who has been very ill. Fritz William [the Crown Prince] saw Ada and Fritz Holstein at Carlsruhe, and Fritz and Anna of Hesse--all four turned out of their countries. * * *

I am delighted to hear of dear Arthur having passed so good an examination. How proud you must be of him! And the good Major,[71] who has spared no pains, I know--how pleased he must be! Arthur has a uniform now, I suppose.

BERLIN, January 26th.

* * * We remain here a little longer, probably until the following Saturday, as the King, owing to his cold, could not see us often, and begged us to remain longer.

I saw Amalie Lauchert[72] here two days ago, looking so well, and charming as ever.

Little Vicky is such a darling, very like her poor little brother--so merry, so good, one never hears her cry--and it is really a comfort to Vicky to have that dear little thing. Poor Vicky is very sad and low at times.

After intense cold it is quite warm, like spring, which is very unwholesome and tiring.

DARMSTADT, February 16th.

* * * I think I can understand what you must feel. I know well what those first three years were--what fearful suffering, tearing and uprooting those feelings which had been centred in beloved Papa’s existence! It is indeed, as you say “in mercy,” that after the long storm a lull and calm ensues, though the violent pain, which is but the reverse side of the violent love, seems only to die out with it, and that is likewise bitter. Yet, beloved Mama, could it be otherwise? There would be no justice or mercy, were the first stage of sorrow to be the perpetual one; and God grant, that time may still soothe and alleviate that which it cannot change! I can only imagine what the loss must be, if I measure it by the possession of that one adored being, who is the centre and essence of my existence.

DARMSTADT, February 28th.

* * * Yesterday we had a very interesting lecture in our house about Art in Venice, by a young Swede [Herr von Molin], who has been studying three years in Italy. We had the room full of people, artists, and professors, who liked to listen.

* * * All the natural cleverness and sharpness in the world won’t serve nowadays, unless one has learnt something. I feel this so much; and just in our position it is more and more required and expected, particularly in a small place, where so much depends on the personal knowledge and exertions of the Princes.

DARMSTADT, March 8th.

* * * The knowledge of dear sweet Alix’s state makes me too sad. It is hard for them both, and the nursing must be very fatiguing for Mrs. Clarke. I am so distressed about darling Alix that I really have no peace. It may, and probably will, last long, which is so dreadful.[73]

March 28th.

* * * We mean to have some children on the 5th, so that Victoria can have a party.

My father-in-law is better again, I am happy to say. The warm weather did him good at once.

DARMSTADT, April 1st.

* * * I could not write the other day, as I had a good deal to do with two committees for charities, which had to be got into order, and which took up a great deal of my time.

Cold, hail, snow, and rain, have returned; and Irène has got a cold, which most people here have. The weather is so unpleasant.

We shall stop here in town until we go to England, as we have nowhere to go to before. It is a pity for the children to have no country air, and they miss the flowers in their walks. I can’t praise Orchard[74] enough. Such order she keeps, and is so industrious and tidy, besides understanding so much about the management of the children’s health and characters.

DARMSTADT, April 5th.

Thousand thanks for your dear letter, and for the kind wishes for Victoria’s birthday! I pray she may be a worthy granddaughter and goddaughter of my darling Mamma! I shall never forget that day--your kindness to us, and the tender nurse you were. * * *

Victoria means to dictate a letter to you; she is so much pleased with her presents. Irène has not a tooth yet, and is not very fat, poor little thing! but she is fresh and rosy, and, I think, strong.

This last week the excitement here has been dreadful, as all anticipated a war with France on account of Luxembourg. I fear sooner or later it will come. May the Almighty avert such a calamity!

The Moriers were quite in ecstasies about your handsome present. The christening[75] went off very well.

April 8th.

* * * We have just returned from church, and to-morrow morning we all take the Sacrament at nine o’clock in the Schlosskirche. Professor Jowett is here on a visit to the Moriers, and is going to read the service on Sunday. I have not had an opportunity to attend our English service since we were at Windsor, excepting one Sunday at Berlin with Vicky and Fritz.

People think now, the evil of war is put off for a few weeks, but that is all. Henry is here for Easter, and says the same from all he heard at Berlin.

April 21st.

* * * How I wish you may be right in _not_ believing in war. I always fear it is not Luxembourg, but the intense jealousy of the French nation, that they should not be the first on the Continent, and that Germany is becoming independent and powerful against their will. Then, again, the Germans feel their new position, and assert their rights with more force because unanimous, and neither nation will choose to give in to the other.

The war would be totally useless, and sow no end of dissension and hatred between the two neighbor countries, who, for their own good as for that of mankind, ought to live in peace and harmony with each other.

We seem drifting back to the Middle Ages, as each question is pushed to the point of the sword. It is most sad. How dear Papa would have disapproved of much that has happened since 1862!

Is the Catalogue which Mr. Ruland sent some time ago to Mr. Woodward for dear Papa’s Raphael Collection in print now?[76] So many people know of its coming out, and are anxious to see it, as, indeed, I am likewise, for it is the only complete collection in the world, and the world of art is anxious to know all about it. Will you, perhaps, let me know through Mr. Sahl,[77] as I believe it is already a good while since you approved of its being published, and gave the orders for its being printed?

May 2d.

As yet none dare to be sure of the peace, but all live again since there are more chances for its being maintained. But, then, I trust it will be a permanent peace, not merely a putting off till next year!

The French press was so very warlike, and it always talks of the French honor not being able to allow such a mighty empire as the German is becoming to gain the upper hand; and then rectification of her frontiers, always wishing for the Rhine.

Poor little Anna of Mecklenburg is here; it seemed so sad to see the dear little child come alone to inhabit the rooms its Mama had never returned to. She looks delicate, very fair, but with dark, thick eyebrows and eyelashes; rather shy and silent for she has no little children to play with in her home. My two led her about at once, and tried to amuse her. Ella, who is five months older, is a head taller and twice as broad. I am so afraid they will be too rough with her, for dear, fat Ella is very strong, and by no means gentle.

Annchen has an old nervous nurse, who is too frightened about her. It is a great responsibility, where there is no mother. It looks so sad!

May 13th.

I must tell you something in confidence of what has taken place here with regard to Louis. * * * Since Louis took the command last August, and since the Convention with Prussia has been settled, Louis has been opposed by Uncle Louis and the _Kriegsministerium_ [War Department], in doing all the things which he thought absolutely necessary, and which toward Prussia the Grand Duke had promised to do, so as to get the troops into the necessary order and organization. Here the Government is, Louis has reason to fear, once more playing a false game toward Prussia, and all his true friends and a small party of the clever-thinking people have encouraged him in the idea that to serve his country, he _may_ and _must_ not be implicated in the present sad and desperate state of affairs.

It has cost him a great struggle to make up his mind to ask Uncle Louis to accept his resignation, which he has been obliged to demand, as he felt that under present circumstances he could not fulfil what was desired of him.

Uncle Louis may refuse to let him go; then he intends to ask for leave until the 1st of October, the date when the Convention must be carried out, when he hopes and trusts the King will send a Prussian general to put all in order.