Part 21

How sad the loss of those two poor children is,[105] and the sweet little “bairnie” of three! The unfortunate mother to lose two in so dreadful a way! I am sure it touched Beatrice much to see the poor little one; and in a child death so often loses every thing that is painful.

We think of calling our little girl “Alix” (Alice they pronounce too dreadfully in German) “Helena Louise Beatrice,” and, if Beatrice may, we would much like to have her as godmother.

DARMSTADT, June 24th.

* * * We both felt so truly for you when we heard of dear Dr. Macleod’s death, knowing what a kind and valued friend of yours he was, and how fate seems to take one friend after another, and before age can claim its right. He indeed deserves his rest, for he did so much good in his life!

I feel rather weaker than usual this time, and sitting and walking, though only a few steps, tries me a good deal. I was out for half an hour yesterday, and I think the air will do me good.

Louis left at half-past five this morning, and will be back by seven, I hope, this evening; to-morrow the same.

I will add Vicky’s name to baby’s others, as you propose; and “Alix” we gave for “Alice,” as they murder my name here: “Aliicé” they pronounce it, so we thought “Alix” could not so easily be spoilt.

Uncle Alexander is coming back shortly, and says the Empress is not to return to Russia this winter, and will be sent to Italy for the whole winter.

The heat has been quite dreadful; there is a little air to-day, though.

August 14th.

* * * Baby is like Ella, only smaller features, and still darker eyes with very black lashes, and reddish-brown hair. She is a sweet, merry little person, always laughing, with a deep dimple in one cheek just like Ernie.

We are going to Frankfort to-day to give Uncle George and Fritz Strelitz a luncheon in our Palais there. Hélène Reuter comes to us for a month to-morrow as lady.

I hope your Edinburgh visit will go off well. You have never lived in Holyrood since 1861, have you?

How I shall think of you at dear Balmoral, and this time capable of enjoying it--not like last time, when you had to suffer so much, and were unable to do any thing. It quite spoiled our visit to see you an invalid. Remember me to all old friends there--to Brown’s kind old mother, and any who ask after us.

I shall think of you on dear Grandmama’s birthday. She is never forgotten by any of us, and lives on as a dearly-cherished memory of all that was good and loving, and so kind. My children have her picture in their room, and I often tell them of her.

KRANICHSTEIN, August 20th.

I am very grateful for your telegrams from Edinburgh, and for Flora’s [MacDonald] letter. It interests me so much to know what you did there, and I am very glad all went off so well. The people will have been too delighted to have had you in their midst again, and I am sure you enjoyed the beauty of your fine northern capital anew after not having seen it for so long a time. Beatrice seems delighted with what she saw. I recollect those many interesting and beautiful spots so well.[106]

The 18th was the anniversary of the dreadful battle of Gravelotte, which cost so many lives, to our division especially. We drove into town to the military church, which was full of officers and men, at half-past seven in the morning, and thought much of the friends and acquaintances in their distant graves, and of the desolate homes, until that day so bright. My heart felt too full when we were singing _Ein’ feste Burg_, and I had my husband at my side, whom the Almighty had graciously spared to my children and myself. Gratitude seems barely enough to express the intense depth of what I feel when I think of that time, and how again and again I long to give all and all to my good dear Louis and to our children, for he is all that is good and true and pure.

* * * The children were much distressed at the sad fate of my poor little bullfinch, who piped beautifully. Louis had caught an owl and put it in a wooden sort of a cage in the room where my bird was. In the night it broke the bars and got loose and tore the bullfinch’s tail out, and the poor little thing died in consequence.

Of our quiet country life there is little to tell. We are a good deal out, always with our little people, their pets--dogs, cats, ponies, donkeys; it is rather like a menagerie.

SCHLOSS KRANICHSTEIN, September 17th.

* * * On Sunday the Moriers with their children were with us for the day. He looked so white and reduced, walks on crutches, but retains, as always, his spirits and his lively interest for all things. He is a kind, warm-hearted man, to whom we are both attached. Alice feels the loss of her poor sister deeply, and says her father has been so cut up about it.

We took them to races close by, and feared we should be upset, the ground being very heavy and uneven, and I was in terror for Mr. Morier, who was in my carriage.

On the 9th there is a large meeting here of the different associations existing throughout Germany for the bettering of women’s education and social position (of the middle class especially with regard to trade). Some English ladies are coming, some Swiss and Dutch. It will last four days, and be very fatiguing. The programme I arranged with my two committees here and the gentlemen at Berlin, and they wanted to force me to preside; but for so large an assemblage--to me nearly all strangers--I positively refused. I do that in my own Associations, but not where there are so many strangers, who all want to talk, and all to cross purposes. It is difficult enough to keep one’s own people in order when they disagree. I hope and trust I have prevented _all_ exaggerated and unfeminine views being brought up, which to me are dreadful. These Associations, if not reasonably led, tend too easily to the ridiculous. My Associations take a great deal of my time and thought, and require a good amount of study. I hope and trust that what we are doing here is the right thing. We have already had some satisfactory results in the class of the workwomen, and in the reform of the schools; but there are many open questions yet, which I hope this meeting, with others who work in the same field, may help us to solve.

Will you look through the programme? It would please me so much, if I thought, you took a little interest in my endeavors here in a very small way to follow in a slight degree part of dear Papa’s great works for the good of others.

The meeting at Berlin seems to have gone off very well, and has pleased all Germans, who hope for a consolidation of peace--so necessary to them.

We have an entire change of Ministry at Darmstadt, the first since 1848, which fills all with hopes for an improvement in all the affairs of the Grand Duchy.

KRANICHSTEIN, September 25th.

* * * _All_ sympathize with you, and feel what a loss to you darling Aunt[107] must be--how great the gap in your life, how painful the absence of that sympathy and love which united her life and yours so closely.

Darling, kind Mama, I feel so acutely for you, that my thoughts are incessantly with you, and my prayers for comfort and support to be granted you in the heavy trial are warm indeed. You have borne so many hard losses with courage and resignation, that for darling Aunt’s sake you will do so again, and knowing her at rest and peace will in time reconcile you to the loss--all the more as her passing from this world to another was so touchingly peaceful. Dear Augusta [Stanley] wrote to me, which was a great consolation, and we intend going to Baden to pay our last token of respect and love.

DARMSTADT, October 13th.

* * * A few words about our doings here may be of interest to you. The meeting went off well, was very large, the subjects discussed were to the purpose and important, and not one word of the emancipated political side of the question was touched upon by any one. Schools (those of the lower, middle, and higher classes) for girls was the principal theme; the employment of women for post and telegraph offices, etc.; the improvement necessary in the education of nursery-maids, and the knowledge of mothers in the treatment of little children; the question of nurses and nursing institutes.

The committees of the fifteen Associations met Wednesday afternoon, and in the evening thirteen of the members came to us to supper.

The public meeting on the following day lasted from nine to two with a small interruption; a committee meeting in the afternoon; and that evening all the members and guests came to us--nearly fifty in number. The following day the meetings lasted even longer, and the English ladies were kind enough to speak--only think, old Miss Carpenter, on all relating to women’s work in England (she is our guest here). Her account of the Queen’s Institute at Dublin was most interesting. Miss Hill (also our guest), about the boarding-out system for orphans. Miss C. Winkworth, about higher education in England. She mentioned also the new institution to which Louise now belongs, and is a member of it herself. The ladies all spoke very well; the German ones remarkably so.

There was a good deal of work to finish afterward, and a good many members to see. They came from all parts of Germany--many kind-hearted, noble, self denying women. The presence of the English ladies--above all, of one such as Miss Carpenter, who has done such good works for the reformation of convicts--greatly enhanced the importance of the meeting, and her great experience has been of value to us all. She means still to give a lecture on India and the state of the native schools there, before leaving us.

I have still so much work in hand, that I fear my letter is hurried and ill-written, but I hope you will kindly excuse this.

To-morrow I am taking Miss Carpenter to all our different schools, that she may see how the different systems in use work. Some are good, but none particularly so; there is much to improve.

Louis is gone to Mayence to-day for the inauguration of the Memorial which the town has erected to the memory of dear excellent Waldemar Holstein, for so many years its beloved Governor.

DARMSTADT, October 24th.

You must indeed miss dear Aunt much, and feel your thoughts drawn to her, whose precious intercourse was such a solace and comfort to you. It is nice for you to have Louise a little to yourself. * * *

You ask, if my mother-in-law talks with me about the different woman’s work in which I am interested. Of course she does. We are so intimate together, that even where we differ in opinion we yet talk of every thing freely, and her opinion is of the greatest value to me. She had ever been a most kind, true, and loving mother, whom I respect and love more and more. She was much pleased and interested in the success of the meeting, but is of course as adverse as myself to all extreme views on such subjects.

I have joined to my Nursing Institute an Association for watching over the orphans who are boarded-out by the State into families, where some poor children are unhappy and ill-used. The use of such meetings as this one was consists mainly in the interchange of experience made in the different branches in other places, which it is impossible to carry on by correspondence.

The schools are entirely different throughout Germany--good and indifferent; and those here do not count among the best, as every thing, through the long misrule of the late Government, is not what it ought to be.

Uncle Louis has a new Ministry now, which gives every one cause for hope.

DARMSTADT, November 3d.

* * * The weather is awful here; the wind sounds in the house as if one were at sea.

This article was sent me the other day, and though I half fear seeming _unbescheiden_ [overbold], yet, as you spoke of your feelings about women’s meetings the other day, I venture to send it.

Ella is writing to you herself to thank you for the lovely bracelet, which gave me as much pleasure as it did her. To think that she is already eight! She is handsomer than she was, and a dear child. * * * They all give me pleasure, dear children, though of course they have as many faults as others; but they are truthful and contented, and very affectionate. Having them much with me, watching and guiding their education--which, through our quiet and regular life, is possible--I am able to know and understand their different characters, for not one is like the other.

DARMSTADT, November 12th.

* * * We have the same weather here which you seem to have, which for our long journey was not pleasant. We took nearly twelve hours going, and as much returning from Metz. For the inauguration itself the weather held up. The roads were dreadful, and the wide plateau looked dreary and sad--dotted all over with graves, like an enormous churchyard.

The memorial is a dead lion in bronze, on a plain pedestal, bearing an inscription on black marble in front, and at the back all the names. Deputations of officers and men were present, besides the generals, etc., from Metz. The clergyman of the division read the prayers, preached a short and touching sermon, and the band played a chorale. Louis spoke a few words, ending with the usual “Hoch” for the Emperor and Grand Duke. I then laid some wreaths at the foot of the Memorial from Louis’ parents and ourselves, and we drove back to Metz across the different battlefields. The villages are all built up again, and re-inhabited, so that few traces of the dreadful struggle remain.

* * * The Empress of Russia wrote the other day that the alliance with Marie[108] of Mecklenburg is quite impossible, as she won’t change her religion. I hope all other German Princesses will follow her example.

DARMSTADT, December 12th.

For the 14th I write a few words. From year to year they can but express the same; the grief at the loss of such a father, such a man, grows with me, and leaves a gap and a want that nothing on earth can ever fill up.

The deep, intense sympathy for what you, my poor dear Mama, went through then and since, in consequence of your bereavement, remains as vivid as ever. God heard our prayers, and sustained you, and through the healing hand of time softened your grief, and retained you for us, who were too young and too numerous to stand alone!

That our good sweet Alix should have been spared this terrible grief, when this time last year it seemed so imminent, fills my heart with gratitude for her dear sake, as for yours, his children, and ours. That time is as indelibly fixed on my memory as that of 1861, when the witnessing of your grief rent my heart so deeply. The 14th will now be a day of mixed recollections and feelings to us--a day _hallowed_ in our family, when one great spirit ended his work on earth--though his work can never die, and generations will grow up and call his name blessed--and when another was left to fulfil his duty and mission, God grant, for the welfare of his own family and of thousands.[109]

I have not time to write to dearest Bertie and Alix to-day; and as I love to think of them with you on the 14th, so I would ask you to let them share these lines full of sympathy for them, letting a remembrance of _me_, who suffered with them, mingle with your united prayers and thanks on this solemn day!

My little Fritz is at length better, but white and thin, in consequence of his illness.

Christmas Day.

Your dear presents gave me so much pleasure; I thank you again and again for them. The precious souvenir of dear Aunt, and my Ernie’s picture delight me. I assure you, nothing has given me more pleasure this Christmas.

Let me also thank you, in Louis’ and the children’s names (meanwhile, until they do so themselves), for your kind gifts to them. It makes us all so happy and grateful, to be always so kindly remembered.

The boys were well enough to enjoy Christmas, though rather pale and pulled--above all, sweet Ernie.

We gave all our servants presents--the whole household and stable--under the Christmas-tree, which we made for the children; and when the tree is divided, the children of all our servants come and share it with ours. It keeps the household as a family, which is so important. We have fifty people to give to!

Dear Beatrice’s wishes (cards) pleased the children very much, but Frittie lamented for a letter from Auntie “for Frittie.” He talks quite well now.

On Saturday we shall go for the day to Vicky. I don’t like leaving the boys for longer yet. I am so glad Vicky gave such a flattering account of baby. She is quite the personification of her nickname “Sunny”--much like Ella, but a smaller head, and livelier, with Ernie’s dimple and expression.

[Illustration]

[Illustration] TRIALS.

1873-1877.

“May the hour of trial and grief bring its blessing with it, and not have come in vain! The day passes so quickly, when one can do good and make others happy--and one leaves always so much undone.” (_August 2, 1873._)

1873.

This year began brightly and happily to the Prince and Princess, for little Prince Fritz, whose health had often given rise to serious anxiety, seemed stronger and better. In March the Princess at last was able to carry out her long-cherished wish to visit Italy. She travelled incognita, accompanied by Miss Hardinge and Hofrath Ruland. The journey was made in a comparatively short time, but was thoroughly successful. The Princess travelled from Darmstadt by Munich and the Brenner Pass to Florence, where she spent three days, and from there went straight on to Rome.

During her stay in the “eternal city” she employed her mornings in visiting the many beautiful picture-galleries, the churches, and the ruins of ancient Rome. In the afternoons she made longer excursions into the neighborhood, visiting the more distant churches in the Campagna, as well as the celebrated villas of Albani, Ludovisi, Borghese, etc. She used to spend her evenings in talking over and discussing all the objects of interest she had seen during the day. The Princess with her wonderful power of observation was able to do a large amount of sight-seeing in a comparatively short time. She was accompanied by Monsignore Howard (now Cardinal Howard) over St. Peter’s; and he showed her many interesting parts of this glorious edifice, which in general are never shown to Protestants. At the “Farnesina,” the private palace of Count Bermudez, she was received and conducted over it by the Count himself. The ruins of Rome which interested the Princess the most were those which dated from the time of the first Christians, as far back as the early mediæval period, the catacombs of “San Callisto,” and the curious church of “San Clemente.” Amongst the ceremonies of the “Holy Week” the Princess was greatly struck by “The Lamentations,” whilst others made her ask, as all Protestants do, how the pure simple Christian religion could possibly be so misrepresented. After attending all the grand ceremonies of the Church of Rome, the quiet service at the German Embassy made a most happy and peaceful impression on the Princess. She visited the Pope, Pius IX., who received her with his usual winning kindness.[110] She also went to the Quirinal to pay her respects to King Victor Emanuel, and to the Crown Princess of Italy, Princess Margherita. The two Princesses drove together through Rome on the occasion of the celebration of its “birthday,” and witnessed the illumination of the Capitol, Forum, and Colosseum.

On the 13th of April the Princess made a brief excursion to Sorrento by way of Naples, where her father-in-law and the Empress of Russia were staying. On the 24th of April she left with her suite for Florence, travelling by way of Perugia and Lake Thrasimene, through the valley of the Arno. As she had but little time, she was only able to visit the galleries of the Uffizi and Pitti Palaces, the tombs of the Medici in San Lorenzo, the Convent of St. Mark, the Cathedral, the Church of Santa Croce, and the “Museo Nazionale.”

The Princess left Italy on the 28th April, reaching Darmstadt on the 2d of May.

Her journey had been one of thorough enjoyment, and she felt deeply grateful that she had at last been able to see with her own eyes those glorious works of art, which from her childhood she had only been able to picture dimly to herself.

The joy of her reunion with her family was, alas! not to be of long duration. Prince Louis had been obliged to leave Darmstadt early on the morning of the 29th of May to inspect the troops in Upper Hesse, leaving the Princess still in bed, exhausted from the great fatigue of her Italian journey. The two little Princes came to wish her “good-morning,” and by her wish were left in her room by the nurse. The children soon began to play, as was their wont, running in and out of the room into the adjacent one, and looking from one window and then from another. Prince Ernest having run into the next room, the Princess followed him, leaving Prince Fritz in her bedroom. During her almost momentary absence he fell out of the window on to the stone terrace below. Whether he had leaned too far out of it and overbalanced himself, or whether in running fast through the room to the window to look for his brother he could not stop himself and fell from it, no one actually knows. He was picked up insensible, and died a few hours afterward in the arms of his distracted mother. Effusion of blood on the brain caused by the fall ended that young and bright little life. The loss of this unusually-gifted and beloved child was a blow to the mother from which she never recovered. Her married life had till then been such a happy one, that this first sorrow came on her with redoubled force.

On the evening of Whitsunday, June 1st, the beloved little Prince was taken to his last resting-place, at the Rosenhöhe (the Grand Ducal Mausoleum), his parents and sisters and brother being present. It was very long before the Princess at all recovered from the terrible shock of the death of her child, though the sympathy shown to her by her family and friends--indeed, by all--greatly comforted and helped her.