Part 10
GNOTH. Fiddlers, crowd on, crowd on;[328] let no man lay a block in your way.—Crowd on, I say. EVAN. Stay the crowd awhile; let’s know the reason of this jollity. CLEAN. Sirrah, do you know where you are? GNOTH. Yes, sir; I am here, now here, and now here again, sir. LYS. Your hat[329] is too high crown’d, the duke in presence. GNOTH. The duke! as he is my sovereign, I do give him two crowns for it,[330] and that’s equal change all the world over: as I am lord of the day (being my marriage- day the second) I do advance [my] bonnet. Crowd on afore. LEON. Good sir, a few words, if you will[331] vouchsafe ’em; Or will you be forc’d? GNOTH. Forced! I would the duke himself would say so. EVAN. I think he dares, sir, and does; if you stay not, You shall be forc’d. GNOTH. I think so, my lord, and good reason too; shall not I stay, when your grace says I shall? I were unworthy to be a bridegroom in any part of your highness’s dominions, then: will it please you to taste of the wedlock-courtesy? EVAN. O, by no means, sir; you shall not deface So fair an ornament for me. GNOTH. If your grace please to be cakated, say so. EVAN. And which might be your fair bride, sir? GNOTH. This is my two for one that must be, [the] _uxor uxoris_, the remedy _doloris_, and the very _syceum amoris_. EVAN. And hast thou any else? GNOTH. I have an older, my lord, for other uses. CLEAN. My lord, I do observe a strange decorum here: These that do lead this day of jollity Do march with music and most mirthful cheeks; Those that do follow, sad and wofully, Nearer the haviour of a funeral Than [of] a wedding. EVAN. ’Tis true: pray expound that, sir. GNOTH. As the destiny of the day falls out, my lord, one goes[332] to wedding, another goes to hanging; and your grace, in the due consideration, shall find ’em much alike; the one hath the ring upon her finger, the other the[333] halter about her neck. _I take thee, Beatrice_, says the bridegroom; _I take thee, Agatha_, says the hangman; and both say together, _to have and to hold, till death do part us_. EVAN. This is not yet plain enough to my understanding. GNOTH. If further your grace examine it, you shall find I shew myself a dutiful subject, and obedient to the law, myself, with these my good friends, and your good subjects, our old wives, whose days are ripe, and their lives forfeit to the law: only myself, more forward than the rest, am already provided of my second choice. EVAN. O, take heed, sir, you’ll run yourself into danger! If the law finds you with two wives at once, There’s a shrewd premunire. GNOTH. I have taken leave of the old, my lord. I have nothing to say to her; she’s going to sea, your grace knows whither, better than I do: she has a strong wind with her, it stands full in her poop; when you please, let her disembogue. COOK. And the rest of her neighbours with her, whom we present to the satisfaction of your highness’ law. GNOTH. And so we take our leaves, and leave them to your highness.—Crowd on.[334] EVAN. Stay, stay, you are too forward. Will you marry, And your wife yet living? GNOTH. Alas! she’ll be dead before we can get to church. If your grace would set her in the way, I would despatch her: I have a venture on’t, which would return me, if your highness would make a little more haste, two for one. EVAN. Come, my lords, we must sit again; here’s a case Craves a most serious censure. COOK. Now they shall be despatch’d out of the way. GNOTH. I would they were gone once; the time goes away. EVAN. Which is the wife unto the forward bridegroom? AGA. I am, and[335] it please your grace. EVAN. Trust me, a lusty woman, able-bodied, And well-blooded cheeks. GNOTH. O, she paints, my lord; she was a chambermaid once, and learnt it of her lady. EVAN. Sure I think she cannot be so old. AGA. Truly I think so too, and please your grace. GNOTH. Two to one with your grace of that! she’s threescore by the book. LEON. Peace, sirrah, you’re too loud. COOK. Take heed, Gnotho;[336] if you move the duke’s patience, ’tis an edge-tool; but a word and a blow; he cuts off your head. GNOTH. Cut off my head! away, ignorant! he knows it cost more in the hair; he does not use to cut off many such heads as mine: I will talk to him too; if he cut off my head, I’ll give him my ears. I say my wife is at full age for the law; the clerk shall take his oath, and the church-book shall be sworn too. EVAN. My lords, I leave this censure to you. LEON. Then first, this fellow does deserve punishment, For offering up a lusty able woman, Which may do service to the commonwealth, Where the law craves one impotent and useless. CREON. Therefore to be severely punish’d, For thus attempting a second marriage, His wife yet living. LYS. Nay, to have it trebled; That even the day and instant when he should mourn, As a kind husband, at[337] her funeral, He leads a triumph to the scorn of it; Which unseasonable joy ought to be punish’d With all severity. BUT. The fiddles will be in a foul case too, by and by. LEON. Nay, further; it seems he has a venture Of two for one at his second marriage, Which cannot be but a conspiracy Against the former. GNOTH. A mess of wise old men! LYS. Sirrah, what can you answer to all these? GNOTH. Ye are good old men, and talk as age will give you leave. I would speak with the youthful duke himself; he and I may speak of things that shall be thirty or forty years after you are dead and rotten. Alas! you are here to-day, and gone to sea to-morrow. EVAN. In troth, sir, then I must be plain with you. The law that should take away your old wife from you, The which I do perceive was your desire, Is void and frustrate; so for the rest: There has been since another parliament Has cut it off. GNOTH. I see your grace is disposed to be pleasant. EVAN. Yes, you might perceive that; I had not else Thus dallied with your follies. GNOTH. I’ll talk further with your grace when I come back from church; in the mean time, you know what to do with the old women. EVAN. Stay, sir, unless in the mean time you mean I cause a gibbet to be set up in your way, And hang you at your return. AGA. O gracious prince! EVAN. Your old wives cannot die to-day by any Law of mine; for aught I can say to ’em, They may, by a new edict, bury you, And then, perhaps, you[’ll] pay a new fine too. GNOTH. This is fine, indeed! AGA. O gracious prince! may he live a hundred years more. COOK. Your venture is not like to come in today, Gnotho.[338] GNOTH. Give me the principal back. COOK. Nay, by my troth we’ll venture still—and I’m sure we have as ill a venture of it as you; for we have taken old wives of purpose, that[339] we had thought to have put away at this market, and now we cannot utter a pennyworth. EVAN. Well, sirrah, you were best to discharge your new charge, and take your old one to you. GNOTH. O music! no music, but prove most doleful trumpet;[340] O bride! no bride, but thou mayst prove a strumpet; O venture! no venture, I have, for one, now none; O wife! thy life is sav’d when I hop’d it had[341] been gone. Case up your fruitless strings; no penny, no wedding; Case up thy maidenhead; no priest, no bedding: Avaunt, my venture! it can ne’er be restor’d, Till Ag, my old wife, be thrown overboard: Then come again, old Ag, since it must be so; Let bride and venture with woful music go. COOK. What for the bridecake, Gnotho?[342] GNOTH. Let it be mouldy, now ’tis out of season, Let it grow out of date, currant, and reason; Let it be chipt and chopt, and given to chickens. No more is got by that than William Dickins Got by his wooden dishes. Put up your plums, as fiddlers put up pipes, The wedding dash’d, the bridegroom weeps and wipes. Fiddlers, farewell! and now, without perhaps, Put up your fiddles as you put up scraps. LYS. This passion[343] has given some satisfaction yet. My lord, I think you’ll pardon him now, with all the rest, so they live honestly with the wives they have. EVAN. O, most freely; free pardon to all. COOK. Ay, we have deserved our pardons, if we can live honestly with such reverend wives, that have no motion in ’em but their tongues. AGA. Heaven bless your grace! you’re a just prince. GNOTH. All hopes[344] dash’d; the clerk’s duties lost, [My] venture gone; my second wife divorc’d; And which is worst, the old one come back again! Such voyages are made now-a-days! I will weep two salt [ones out] of my[345] nose, besides these two fountains of fresh water. Your grace had been more kind to your young subjects—heaven bless and mend your laws, that they do not gull your poor countrymen: but[346] I am not the first, by forty, that has been undone by the law. ’Tis but a folly to stand upon terms; I take my leave of your grace, as well as mine eyes will give me leave: I would they had been asleep in their beds when they opened ’em to see this day! Come, Ag; come, Ag. [_Exeunt_ GNOTHO _and_ AGATHA. CREON. Were not you all my servants? COOK. During your life, as we thought, sir; but our young master turned us away. CREON. How headlong, villain, wert thou in thy ruin! SIM. I followed the fashion, sir, as other young men did. If you were[347] as we thought you had been, we should ne’er have come for this, I warrant you. We did not feed, after the old fashion, on beef and mutton, and such like. CREON. Well, what damage or charge you have run yourselves into by marriage, I cannot help, nor deliver you from your wives; them you must keep; yourselves shall again return[348] to me. ALL. We thank your lordship for your love, and must thank ourselves for our bad bargains. [_Exeunt._ EVAN. Cleanthes, you delay the power of law, To be inflicted on these misgovern’d men, That filial duty have so far transgress’d. CLEAN. My lord, I see a satisfaction Meeting the sentence, even preventing it, Beating my words back in their utterance. See, sir, there’s salt sorrow bringing forth fresh And new duties, as the sea propagates. The elephants have found their joints too—— [_They kneel._ Why, here’s humility able to bind up The punishing hand[s] of the severest masters, Much more the gentle fathers’. SIM. I had ne’er thought to have been brought so low as my knees again; but since there’s no remedy, fathers, reverend fathers, as you ever hope to have good sons and heirs, a handful of pity! we confess we have deserved more than we are willing to receive at your hands, though sons can never deserve too much of their fathers, as shall appear afterwards. CREON. And what way can you decline your feeding now? You cannot retire to beeves and muttons, sure. SIM. Alas! sir, you see a good pattern for that, now we have laid by our high and lusty meats, and are down to our marrow-bones already. CREON. Well, sir, rise to virtues: we’ll bind[349] you now; You that were too weak yourselves to govern, By others shall be govern’d. LYS. Cleanthes, I meet your justice with reconcilement: If there be tears of faith in woman’s breast, I have receiv’d a myriad, which confirms me To find a happy renovation. CLEAN. Here’s virtue’s throne, Which I’ll embellish with my dearest jewels Of love and faith, peace and affection! This is the altar of my sacrifice, Where daily my devoted knees shall bend. Age-honour’d shrine! time still so love you, That I so long may have you in mine eye Until my memory lose your beginning! For you, great prince, long may your fame survive, Your justice and your wisdom never die, Crown of your crown, the blessing of your land, Which you reach to her from your regent[350] hand! LEON. O Cleanthes, had you with us tasted The entertainment of our retirement, Fear’d and exclaim’d on in your ignorance, You might have sooner died upon the wonder, Than any rage or passion for our loss. A place at hand we were all strangers in, So spher’d about with music, such delights, [Such] viands and attendance, and once a day So cheered with a royal visitant, That ofttimes, waking, our unsteady phantasies Would question whether we yet liv’d or no, Or had possession of that paradise Where angels be the guard! EVAN. Enough, Leonides, You go beyond the praise; we have our end, And all is ended well: we have now seen The flowers and weeds that grow[351] about our court. SIM. If these be weeds, I’m afraid I shall wear none so good again as long as my father lives.
EVAN. Only this gentleman we did abuse With our own bosom: we seem’d a tyrant, And he our instrument. Look, ’tis Cratilus, [_Discovers_ CRATILUS. The man that you suppos’d had now been travell’d; Which we gave leave to learn to speak, And bring us foreign languages to Greece. All’s joy,[352] I see; let music be the crown: And set it high, “The good needs fear no law, It is his safety, and the bad man’s awe.” [_Flourish. Exeunt._
--------------
The notes on this play have enabled the reader to see distinctly the difference between the present and the original text: and now, at its close, I cannot help remarking, that, out of respect for Gifford’s judgment, I have perhaps deviated oftener from the old copy than I should have done if the play had not been previously edited by him.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE MAYOR OF QUEENBOROUGH.
_The Mayor of Quinborough: A Comedy. As it hath been often Acted with much Applause at Black-Fryars, By His Majesties Servants. Written by Tho. Middleton. London, Printed for Henry Herringman, and are to be sold at his Shop at the Sign of the Blew-Anchor in the Lower-Walk of the New-Exchange._ 1661. 4to.
From the introduction of an individual as a chorus, and of dumb shows (such as we find in _Pericles_, and other dramas of an early date), we may gather that this piece was among the author’s first attempts at dramatic composition. Nor does the mention made in it of a play called the _Wild-Goose Chase_, even supposing that Fletcher’s comedy be meant, overthrow such a conclusion. The passage where that mention occurs (Act v. Sc. i.) might have been inserted when the _Mayor of Queenborough_ was revived, at a period long after its first appearance on the stage: (every reader of our old dramas is aware that play-wrights were often employed to make “additions” to the works of their predecessors): it might, indeed, have been written by Middleton himself, after the appearance of Fletcher’s play, which was produced about 1621.
When Henslowe in his diary notices “Oct. 1602. Randall, Earl of Chester, by T. Middleton,” Malone thinks (why, I know not,) that the _Mayor of Queenborough_ is meant.
This drama has been reprinted in the different editions of Dodsley’s _Coll. of Old Plays_, vol. xi.
“The author,” says Langbaine, “has chiefly followed Rainulph’s _Polychronicon_: see besides Stowe, Speed, Du Chesne, &c. in the reign of Vortiger.”—_Account of Dram. Poets_, p. 372.
GENTLEMEN,[353]
You have the first flight of him, I assure you. This _Mayor of Queenborough_, whom you have all heard of, and some of you beheld upon the stage, now begins to walk abroad in print: he has been known sufficiently by the reputation of his wit, which is enough, by the way, to distinguish him from ordinary mayors; but wit, you know, has skulked in corners for many years past,[354] and he was thought to have most of it that could best hide himself. Now whether this magistrate feared the decimating times, or kept up the state of other mayors, that are bound not to go out of their liberties during the time of their mayoralty, I know not: ’tis enough for me to put him into your hands, under the title of an honest man, which will appear plainly to you, because you shall find him all along to have a great pique to the rebel Oliver. I am told his drollery yields to none the English drama did ever produce; and though I would not put his modesty to the blush, by speaking too much in his commendation, yet I know you will agree with me, upon your better acquaintance with him, that there is some difference in point of wit betwixt the _Mayor of Queenborough_ and the _Mayor of Huntingdon_.[355]
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.
CONSTANTIUS, } AURELIUS AMBROSIUS, } _sons of_ CONSTANTINE. UTHER PENDRAGON, } VORTIGER. VORTIMER, _his son_. DEVONSHIRE, } _British lords_. STAFFORD, } GERMANUS, } _monks_. LUPUS, } HENGIST. HORSUS. SIMON, _a tanner, Mayor of Queenborough_. AMINADAB, _his clerk_. OLIVER, _a fustian-weaver_. _Glover._ _Barber._ _Tailor._ _Felt-monger._ _Button-maker._ _Graziers._ _Players._ _Gentlemen._ _Murderers._ _Soldiers, Footmen, &c._
CASTIZA, _daughter to_ DEVONSHIRE. ROXENA, _daughter to_ HENGIST. _Ladies._
RAYNULPH HIGDEN, _Monk of Chester, as Chorus_.
THE MAYOR OF QUEENBOROUGH.
--------------
## ACT I.
_Enter_ RAYNULPH.[356]
RAY. What Raynulph, monk of Chester, can Raise from his Polychronicon, That raiseth him, as works do men, To see long-parted light agen,[357] That best may please this round fair ring, With sparkling diamonds circled in, I shall produce. If all my powers Can win the grace of two poor hours, Well apaid[358] I go to rest. Ancient stories have been best; Fashions, that are now call’d new, Have been worn by more than you; Elder times have us’d the same, Though these new ones get the name: So in story what now told That takes not part with days of old? Then to approve time’s mutual glory, Join new time’s love to old time’s story. [_Exit._
## SCENE I.
_Before a Monastery._[359]
_Shouts within; then enter_ VORTIGER, _carrying the crown_.
VORT. Will that wide-throated beast, the multitude, Never leave bellowing? Courtiers are ill Advisèd when they first make such monsters. How near was I to a sceptre and a crown! Fair power was even upon me; my desires Were casting glory, till this forkèd rabble, With their infectious acclamations, Poison’d my fortunes for Constantine’s sons. Well, though I rise not king, I’ll seek the means To grow as near to one as policy can, And choke their expectations.
_Enter_ DEVONSHIRE _and_ STAFFORD.
Now, good lords, In whose kind loves and wishes I am built As high as human dignity can aspire, Are yet those trunks, that have no other souls But noise and ignorance, something more quiet? DEVON. Nor are they like to be, for aught we gather: Their wills are up still; nothing can appease them; Good speeches are but cast away upon them. VORT. Then, since necessity and fate withstand me, I’ll strive to enter at a straiter passage. Your sudden aid and counsels, good my lords. STAFF. They’re[360] ours no longer than they do you service.
_Enter_ CONSTANTIUS _in the habit of a monk, attended by_ GERMANUS _and_ LUPUS: _as they are going into the monastery_, VORTIGER _stays them_.