Part 14
LULU--[_As before._] The life in such a house can never in the world make a woman of my sort happy. When I was fifteen, I might have liked it. I was desperate then--thought I should never be happy. I bought a revolver, and ran one night barefoot through the deep snow over the bridge to the park to shoot myself there. But then by good luck I lay three months in the hospital without once getting sight of a man, and in that time my eyes were opened and I got to know myself. Night after night in my dreams I saw the man for whom I was created and who was created for me, so that when I was let out on the men again I was a silly goose no longer. Since then I can see on a man, in a pitch-dark night and a hundred feet away, whether we’re meant for each other; and if I sin against that insight I feel the next day dirtied, body and soul, and need weeks to get over the loathing I have for myself. And now you imagine I’ll give myself to every and any Tom and Harry!
CASTI-PIANI--Toms and Harries don’t patronize Oikonomopulos of Cairo. His custom consists of Scottish lords, Russian dignitaries, Indian governors, and our jolly Rhineland captains of industry. I must only guarantee that you speak French. With your gift for languages you’ll quickly enough learn as much English, besides, as you’ll need to get on with. And you’ll reside in a royally furnished apartment with an outlook on the minarets of the El Azhar Mosque, and walk around all day on Persian carpets as thick as your fist, and dress every evening in a fabulous Paris gown, and drink as much champagne as your customers can pay for, and, finally, you’ll even remain, up to a certain point, your own mistress. If the man doesn’t please you, you needn’t play up to him at all. Just let him give in his card, and then----[_Shrugs, and snaps his fingers._] If the ladies didn’t get used to that the whole business would be simply impossible, because every one of them after the first few weeks would go headlong to the devil.
LULU--[_Her voice shaking._] I do believe that since yesterday you’ve got a screw loose somewhere. Am I to understand that the Egyptian will pay fifteen hundred francs for a person whom he’s never seen?
CASTI-PIANI--I took the liberty of sending him your pictures.
LULU--Those pictures that I gave you, you’ve sent to him?
CASTI-PIANI--You see he can value them better than I. The picture in which you stand before the mirror as Eve he’ll probably hang up at the house-door, after you’ve got there.... And then there’s one thing more for you to notice: with Oikonomopulos in Cairo you’ll be safer from your bloodhounds than if you crept into a Canadian wilderness. It isn’t so easy to transport an Egyptian courtesan to a German prison,--first, on account of the mere expense, and second, from fear of treading too close upon eternal Justice.
LULU--[_Proudly, in a clear voice._] What have I to do with your eternal Justice! You can see as plain as your five fingers I shan’t let myself be locked up in any such amusement-place!
CASTI-PIANI--Then will you permit me to whistle up the policeman?
LULU--[_In wonder._] Why don’t you simply ask me for twelve hundred marks, if you want the money?
CASTI-PIANI--I want for no money! And I also don’t ask for it because you’re dead broke.
LULU--We still have thirty thousand marks.
CASTI-PIANI--In Jungfrau-stock! I never have anything to do with stock. The Attorney General pays in the imperial currency, and Oikonomopulos pays in English gold. You can be on board early to-morrow. The passage doesn’t last much more than five days. In two weeks at most you’re in safety. Here you are nearer to prison than anywhere. It’s a wonder which I, as one of the secret police, cannot understand, that you two have been able to live for a full year unmolested. But just as _I_ came on the track of your antecedents, so any day, with your mighty consumption of men, one of my colleagues may make the happy discovery. Then I may just wipe my mouth, and you spend the most enjoyable years of your life in prison. If you will kindly decide quickly. The train goes at 12:30. If we haven’t struck a bargain before eleven, I whistle up the policeman. If we have, I pack you, just as you stand, into a carriage, drive you to the station, and to-morrow night escort you on board ship.
LULU--But is it possible you can be serious in all this?
CASTI-PIANI--Don’t you understand that your bodily rescue is the only thing left me to do?
LULU--I’ll go with you to America or to China, but I can’t let myself be sold of my own accord! That is worse than prison!
CASTI-PIANI--[_Drawing a letter from his pocket._] Just read this effusion! I’ll read it to you. Here’s the postmark “Cairo,” so you won’t believe I work with forged documents. The girl is a Berliner, was married two years and to a man whom you would have envied her, a former comrade of mine. He travels now for some Hamburg colonial company....
LULU--[_Merrily._] Then perhaps he =visits= his wife occasionally?
CASTI-PIANI--That is not incredible. But hear this impulsive expression of her feelings. My white-slave traffic seems to me absolutely no more honorable than the first judge you happened on would think it, but a cry of joy like this lets me feel a certain moral satisfaction for a moment. I am proud to earn my money by scattering happiness with full hands. [_Reads._] “Dear Mr. Meyer”--that’s my name as a white-slave trader--“when you go to Berlin, please go right away to the conservatory on the Potsdamer Strasse and ask for Gusti von Rosenkron--the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen anywhere--delightful hands and feet, naturally small waist, straight back, full body, big eyes and short nose--just the sort you like best. I have written to her already. She has no prospects with her singing. Her mother hasn’t a penny. Sorry she’s already twenty-two, but she’s pining for love. Can’t marry, because absolutely without means. I have spoken with Madame. They’d like to take another German, if she’s well educated and musical. Italians and Frenchwomen can’t compete with us;--not cultured enough. If you should see Fritz”--Fritz is the husband; he’s getting a divorce, of course,--“tell him it was all a bore. He didn’t know any better, neither did I.” Now come the exact details----
LULU--[_Goaded._] I cannot sell the only thing that ever was my own!
CASTI-PIANI--Let me read some more.
LULU--[_As before._] This very evening, I’ll hand over to you our entire wealth.
CASTI-PIANI--Believe me, for God’s sake, I’ve =got= your last red cent! If we haven’t left this house before eleven, you and your lot will be transported to-morrow in a police-car to Germany.
LULU--You =can’t= give me up!
CASTI-PIANI--Do you think that would be the worst thing I “can” have done in my life?... I must, in case we go to-night, have just a brief word with Bianetta. [_He goes into the card-room, leaving the door open behind him._ LULU _stares before her, mechanically crumpling up the note that_ RODRIGO _stuck into her hand, which she has held in her fingers thruout the dialogue_. ALVA, _behind the card-table, gets up, a bill in his hand, and comes into the salon_.]
ALVA--[_To_ LULU.] Brilliantly! It’s going brilliantly! Geschwitz is wagering her last shirt. Puntschu has promised me ten more Jungfrau-shares. Steinherz is making her little gains and profits. [_Exit, lower right._]
LULU--I in a bordel? [_She reads the paper she holds, and laughs madly._]
ALVA--[_Coming back with a cash-box in his hand._] Aren’t you going to play, too?
LULU--Oh, yes, surely--why not?
ALVA--By the way, it’s in the “Berliner Tageblatt” to-day that Alfred Hugenberg has hurled himself over the stairs in prison.
LULU--Is he too in prison?
ALVA--Only in a sort of house of detention. [_Exit, rear._ LULU _is about to follow, but_ COUNTESS GESCHWITZ _meets her in the doorway_.]
GESCHWITZ--You are going because I come?
LULU--[_Resolutely._] No, God knows. But when you come then I go.
GESCHWITZ--You have defrauded me of all the good things of this world that I still possessed. You might at the very least preserve the outward forms of politeness in your intercourse with me.
LULU--[_As before._] I am as polite to you as to any other woman. I only beg you to be equally so to me.
GESCHWITZ--Have you forgotten the passionate endearments you used, while we lay together in the hospital, to seduce me into letting myself be locked into prison for you?
LULU--Well, why else did you bring me down with the cholera beforehand? I swore very different things to myself, even while it was going on, from what I had to promise you! I am shaken with horror at the thought that that should ever become reality!
GESCHWITZ--Then you cheated me consciously, deliberately!
LULU--[_Gaily._] And what have you been cheated of, eh? Your physical advantages have found so enthusiastic an admirer here, that I ask myself if I won’t have to give piano lessons once more, to keep alive! No seventeen-year-old child could make a man madder with love than you, a pervert, are making him, poor fellow, by your shrewishness.
GESCHWITZ--Of whom are you speaking? I don’t understand a word.
LULU--[_As before._] I’m speaking of your acrobat, of Rodrigo Quast. He’s an athlete: he balances two saddled cavalry horses on his chest. Can a woman desire anything more glorious? He told me just now that he’d jump into the water to-night if you did not take pity on him.
GESCHWITZ--I do not envy you your cleverness at torturing the helpless victims sacrificed to you by their inscrutable destiny. I cannot envy you at all. My own misery has not yet wrung from me the pity that I feel for you. _I_ feel free as a god when I think to what creatures =you= are enslaved.
LULU--Whom do you mean?
GESCHWITZ--Casti-Piani, upon whose forehead the most degenerate baseness is written in letters of fire!
LULU--Be silent! I’ll kick you, if you speak ill of =him=. He loves me so uprightly that your most venturous self-sacrifices are beggary in comparison! He gives me such proofs of self-denial as reveal =you= for the first time in all your loathsomeness! You didn’t get finished in your mother’s womb, neither as woman nor as man. You have no human nature like the rest of us. The stuff didn’t go far enough for a man, and for a woman you got too much brain in your noddle. That’s the reason you’re crazy! Turn to Miss Bianetta! She can be had for everything for pay! Press a gold-piece into her hand and she’ll be yours. [_All the company save_ KADIDIA _throng in out of the card-room_.] For the Lord’s sake, what has happened?
PUNTSCHU--Nothing whatever! We’re thirsty, that’s all.
MAGELONE--Everybody has won. We can’t believe it.
BIANETTA--Seems to me I have won quite a fortune!
LUDMILLA--Don’t boast of it, my child. That isn’t lucky.
MAGELONE--But the bank has won, too! How is that =possible=?
ALVA--It is colossal, where all the money comes from!
CASTI-PIANI--Let us not ask! Enough that we need not spare the champagne.
HEILMANN--I can pay for a supper in a respectable restaurant afterwards, anyway!
ALVA--To the buffet, ladies! Come to the buffet! [_All exeunt, lower left._]
RODRIGO--[_Holding_ LULU _back_.] Un momong, my heart. Have you read my billet-doux?
LULU--Threaten me with discovery as much as you like! I have no more twenty thousands to dispose of.
RODRIGO--Don’t lie to me, you punk! You’ve still got forty thousand in Jungfrau-stock. Your so-called spouse has just been bragging of it himself!
LULU--Then turn to =him= with your blackmailing! It’s all one to me what he does with his money.
RODRIGO--Thank you! With that blockhead I’d need twice twenty-four hours to make him grasp what I was talking about. And then come his explanations, that make one deathly sick; and meanwhile my bride-to-be writes me to call it off, and I can just hang a hurdy-gurdy over my shoulder.
LULU--What, have you got engaged here?
RODRIGO--Maybe I ought to have asked your permission first? What were my thanks here for having freed you from prison at the cost of my health? You abandoned me! I might have had to turn porter if this girl hadn’t taken me up! At my entrance, the very first evening, somebody threw a velvet-covered arm-chair at my head! This country is too decadent to value genuine shows of strength any more. If I’d been a boxing kangaroo they’d have interviewed me and put my picture in all the papers. Thank Heaven, I’d already made the acquaintance of my Celestine. She’s got the savings of twenty years deposited with the government; and she loves me just for myself. She doesn’t aim at vile vulgarities and nothing else like you. She’s had three children by an American bishop--all of the greatest promise. Early day after to-morrow we’re going to get married at the registrar’s.
LULU--You have my blessing.
RODRIGO--Your blessing can be stolen from me. I’ve told my bride I had twenty thousand in stock at the bank.
LULU--[_Amused._] And after that he boasts the woman loves him for himself!
RODRIGO--She honors in me the man of feeling, not the man of force as you and all the others have done. That’s well over now. First they’d tear the clothes from one’s body and then waltz around with the chambermaid. I’ll be a skeleton before I’ll let myself in again for such diversions!
LULU--Then why the devil do you especially pursue poor Geschwitz with your proposals?
RODRIGO--Because the thing is of noble blood. I’m a man of the world, and can do distinguished conversation better than any of you. But now [_with a gesture_] my talk is hanging out of my mouth! Will you get me the money before to-morrow evening, or won’t you?
LULU--I have no money.
RODRIGO--I’ll have hen-droppings in my head before I’ll let myself be put off with that! He’ll give you his last cent if you’ll only do your damned debt and duty by him once! You lured the poor lad here, and now he can see where to scare up a suitable engagement for his accomplishments.
LULU--What is it to you if he wastes his money with women or at cards?
RODRIGO--Do you absolutely =want=, then, to throw the last penny that his father earned by his paper into the jaws of this rapacious pack? You’ll make four people happy if you’ll strain a point and sacrifice yourself for a philanthropic purpose! Has it got to be only Casti-Piani =forever=?
LULU--[_Lightly._] Shall I ask him perhaps to light you down the stairs?
RODRIGO--As you wish, Countess! If I don’t get the twenty thousand marks by to-morrow evening, I make a statement to the police and your salon comes to an end. Auf Wiedersehen! [HEILMANN _enters, breathless, upper right_.]
LULU--You’re looking for Miss Magelone? She’s not here.
HEILMANN--No, I’m looking for something else----
RODRIGO--[_Taking him to the entry-door, opposite him._] Second door on the left.
LULU--[_To_ RODRIGO.] Did you learn that from your bride?
HEILMANN--[_Bumping into_ PUNTSCHU _in the doorway_.] Excuse me, my angel!
PUNTSCHU--Ah, it’s you. Miss Magelone’s waiting for you in the lift.
HEILMANN--You go up with her, please. I’ll be right back. [_He hurries out, left._ LULU _goes out at lower left_. RODRIGO _follows her_.]
PUNTSCHU--Some heat, that! If I don’t cut off =your= ears, you’ll cut ’em off me! If I can’t hire out my Jehoshaphat,[9] I’ve just got to help myself with my brains! Won’t they get wrinkled, my brains! Won’t they get indisposed! Won’t they need to bathe in Eau de Cologne! [BOB, _a groom in a red jacket, tight leather breeches, and twinkling riding-boots, fifteen years old, brings in a telegram_.]
BOB--Mr. Puntschu, the banker!
PUNTSCHU--[_Breaks open the telegram and murmurs_:] “Jungfrau Funicular Stock fallen to----” Ay, ay, so goes the world! [_To_ BOB.] Wait! [_Gives him a tip._] Tell me--what’s your name?
BOB--Well, my name is Freddy, but they call me Bob, because that’s the fashion now.
PUNTSCHU--How old are you?
BOB--Fifteen.
KADIDIA--[_Enters hesitatingly from lower left._] I beg your pardon, can you tell me if Mama is here?
PUNTSCHU--No, my dear. [_Aside._] Devil, she’s got breeding!
KADIDIA--I’m hunting all over for her; I can’t find her anywhere.
PUNTSCHU--Your mama will turn up again soon, as true as my name’s Puntschu! [_Looking at_ BOB.] And that pair of breeches! God of Justice! It gets uncanny! [_He goes out, upper right._]
KADIDIA--Haven’t =you= seen my mama, perhaps?
BOB--No, but you only need to come with me.
KADIDIA--Where is she then?
BOB--She’s gone up in the lift. Come along.
KADIDIA--No, no, I can’t go up with you.
BOB--We can hide up there in the corridor.
KADIDIA--No, no, I can’t come, or I’ll be scolded. [MAGELONE, _terribly excited, rushes in, upper left, and possesses herself of_ KADIDIA.]
MAGELONE--Ha, there you are at last, you common creature!
KADIDIA--[_Crying._] O Mama, Mama, I was hunting for you!
MAGELONE--Hunting for me? Did I tell you to hunt for me? What have you had to do with this fellow? [HEILMANN, ALVA, LUDMILLA, PUNTSCHU, GESCHWITZ, _and_ LULU _enter, lower left_. BOB _has slipped away_.] Now don’t bawl before all the people on me; look out, I tell you!
LULU--[_As they all surround_ KADIDIA.] But you’re crying, sweetheart! Why are you crying?
PUNTSCHU--By God, she’s really been crying! Who’s done anything to hurt you, little goddess?
LUDMILLA--[_Kneels before her and folds her in her arms._] Tell me, cherub, what bad thing has happened. Do you want a cookie? Do you want some chocolate?
MAGELONE--It’s just nerves. The child’s getting them much too soon. It would be best, anyway, if no one paid any attention to her!
PUNTSCHU--That sounds like you! You’re a pretty mother! The courts’ll take the child away from you yet and appoint me her guardian! [_Stroking_ KADIDIA’S _cheeks_.] Isn’t that so, my little goddess?
GESCHWITZ--I should be glad if we could start the baccarat again at last! [_All go into the dining-room again._ LULU _is held back at the door by_ BOB, _who comes from the upper entrance_.]
LULU--[_When_ BOB _has whispered to her_.] Certainly! Let him come in! [BOB _opens the hall door and lets_ SCHIGOLCH _enter, in evening dress, his patent-leather shoes much worn, and keeping on his shabby opera hat_.]
SCHIGOLCH--[_With a look at_ BOB.] Where did you get him from?
LULU--The circus.
SCHIGOLCH--How much does he get?
LULU--Ask him if it interests you. [_To_ BOB.] Shut the doors. [BOB _goes out lower left, shutting the door behind him_.]
SCHIGOLCH--[_Sitting down._] The truth is, I’m in need of money. I’ve hired a flat for my mistress.
LULU--Have you taken another mistress here, too?
SCHIGOLCH--She’s from Frankfort. In her youth she was mistress to the King of Naples. She tells me every day she was once very bewitching.
LULU--[_Outwardly with complete composure._] Does she need the money very badly?
SCHIGOLCH--She wants to fit up her own apartments. Such sums are of no account to =you=. [LULU _is suddenly overcome with a fit of weeping_.]
LULU--[_Flinging herself at_ SCHIGOLCH.] O God Almighty!
SCHIGOLCH--[_Patting her._] Well? What is it now?
LULU--[_Sobbing violently._] It’s too horrible!
SCHIGOLCH--[_Draws her onto his knee and holds her in his arms like a little child._] Hm--You’re trying to do too much, child. You must go to bed, now and then, with a story.--Cry, that’s right, cry it all out. It used to shake you just so fifteen years ago. Nobody has screamed since then, the way you could scream! You didn’t wear any white tufts on your head then, nor any transparent stockings on your legs: you had neither shoes nor stockings then.
LULU--[_Crying._] Take me home with you! Take me home with you to-night! Please! We’ll find carriages enough downstairs!
SCHIGOLCH--I’ll take you with me; I’ll take you with me.--What is it?
LULU--It’s going round my neck! I’m to be shown up!
SCHIGOLCH--By whom? Who’s showing you up?
LULU--The acrobat.
SCHIGOLCH--[_With the utmost composure._] I’ll look after him.
LULU--Look after him! =Please=, look after him! Then do with me what you will!
SCHIGOLCH--If he comes to me, he’s done for. My window is over the water. But [_shaking his head_] he won’t come; he won’t come.
LULU--What number do you live at?
SCHIGOLCH--376, the last house before the hippodrome.
LULU--I’ll send him there. He’ll come with the crazy woman that creeps about my feet. He’ll come this very evening. Go home and let them find it comfortable.
SCHIGOLCH--Just let them come.
LULU--To-morrow bring me the gold rings he wears in his ears.
SCHIGOLCH--Has he got rings in his ears?
LULU--You can take them out before you let him down. He doesn’t notice anything when he’s drunk.
SCHIGOLCH--And then, child--what then?
LULU--Then I’ll give you the money for your mistress.
SCHIGOLCH--I call that pretty stingy.
LULU--And whatever else you want! Whatever I have.
SCHIGOLCH--It’ll soon be ten years since we knew each other.
LULU--Is that all?--But you’ve got a mistress.
SCHIGOLCH--My Frankforter is no longer of to-day.
LULU--But then swear!
SCHIGOLCH--Haven’t I always kept my word to you?
LULU--Swear that you’ll look after him.
SCHIGOLCH--I’ll look after him.
LULU--Swear it to me! Swear it to me!
SCHIGOLCH--[_Puts his hand on her ankle._] By everything that’s holy! To-night, if he comes----
LULU--By everything that’s holy!--How that cools me!
SCHIGOLCH--How this heats me!
LULU--Oh, do drive straight home. They’ll come in half an hour! Take a carriage!
SCHIGOLCH--I’m going.
LULU--Quick! Please!-- --All-powerful----
SCHIGOLCH--Why do you stare at me so again already?
LULU--Nothing-- ...
SCHIGOLCH--Well? Is your tongue frozen on you?
LULU--My garter’s broken.
SCHIGOLCH--What if it is? Is that all?
LULU--What does that augur?
SCHIGOLCH--What does it? I’ll fasten it for you if you’ll keep still.
LULU--That augurs misfortune!
SCHIGOLCH--[_Yawning._] Not for you, child. Cheer up, I’ll look after him! [_Exit._ LULU _puts her left foot on a foot-stool, fastens her garter, and goes out into the card-room. Then_ RODRIGO _is cuffed in from the dining-room, lower left, by_ CASTI-PIANI.]
RODRIGO--You can treat me decently anyway!
CASTI-PIANI--[_Still perfectly unemotional._] Whatever would induce me to do that? I wish to know what you said to her here a little while ago.
RODRIGO--Then you can be very fond of me!
CASTI-PIANI--Will you bandy words with me, dog? You demanded that she go up in the lift with you!
RODRIGO--That’s a shameless, perfidious lie!
CASTI-PIANI--She told me so herself. You threatened to denounce her if she didn’t go with you.--Shall I shoot you on the spot?
RODRIGO--The shameless hussy! As if anything like that could occur to me!--Even if I should want to have her, God knows I don’t first need to threaten her with prison!
CASTI-PIANI--Thank you. That’s all I wanted to know. [_Exit, upper left._]
RODRIGO--Such a hound! A fellow I could throw up onto the roof so he’d stick like a Limburger cheese!--Come back here, so I can wind your guts round your neck. That would be even better!
LULU--[_Enters, lower left; merrily._] Where were you? I’ve been hunting for you like a pin.
RODRIGO--I’ve shown =him= what it means to start anything with me!
LULU--Whom?
RODRIGO--Your Casti-Piani! What made you tell him, you slut, that I wanted to seduce you?!
LULU--Did you not demand that I give myself to my late husband’s son for twenty thousand in Jungfrau-shares?