Part 15

RODRIGO--Because it’s your duty to take pity on the poor young fellow! You shot away his father before his nose in the prime of his life! But your Casti-Piani will think it over before he comes into =my= sight again. I gave him one in the basket that made his tripe fly to heaven like Roman candles. If that’s the best substitute you have for me, then I’m sorry I ever enjoyed your favor!

LULU--Lady Geschwitz is in the fearfullest case. She twists herself up in fits. She’s at the point of jumping into the water if you let her wait any longer.

RODRIGO--What’s the beast waiting for?

LULU--For you to take her with you.

RODRIGO--Then give her my regards, and she can jump into the water.

LULU--She’ll lend me twenty thousand marks to save me from destruction if you will preserve her from it herself. If you’ll take her off to-night, I’ll deposit twenty thousand marks to-morrow in your name at any bank you say.

RODRIGO--And if I don’t take her off with me?

LULU--Denounce me! Alva and I are dead broke.

RODRIGO--Devil and damnation!

LULU--You make four people happy if you strain a point and sacrifice yourself for a worthy end.

RODRIGO--It won’t go; I know that, beforehand. I’ve tried the thing out thoroughly. Who’d have expected such a creditable feeling in that bag o’ bones! What interested me in her was her being an aristocrat. My behavior was as gentleman-like, and more, as you could find among German circus-people. If I’d only just pinched her in the calves once!

LULU--[_Watchfully._] She is still a virgin.

RODRIGO--[_Sighing._] If there’s a God in heaven, you’ll get paid for your jokes some day! I prophesy that.

LULU--Geschwitz waits. What shall I tell her?

RODRIGO--My very best wishes, and I am perverse.

LULU--I will deliver that.

RODRIGO--Wait a second. Is it certain sure I get twenty thousand marks from her?

LULU--Ask herself!

RODRIGO--Then tell her I’m ready. I await her in the dining-room. I must just first look after a barrel of caviare. [_Exit, left._ LULU _opens the rear door and calls in a clear voice “Martha!”_ COUNTESS GESCHWITZ _enters, closing the door behind her_.]

LULU--[_Pleased._] Dear heart, you can save me from death to-night.

GESCHWITZ--How?

LULU--By going to a certain house with the acrobat.

GESCHWITZ--What for, dear?

LULU--He says you must belong to him this very night or he’ll denounce me to-morrow.

GESCHWITZ--You know I can’t belong to any man. My fate has not permitted that.

LULU--If you don’t please him, that’s his own fix. Why has he fallen in love with you?

GESCHWITZ--But he’ll get as brutal as a hangman. He’ll revenge himself for his disappointment and beat my head in. I’ve been through that already.... Can you not possibly spare me this ultimate test?

LULU--What will you gain by his denouncing me?

GESCHWITZ--I have still enough left of my fortune to take us to America together in the steerage. There you’d be safe from all your pursuers.

LULU--[_Pleased and gay._] I want to stay here. I can never be happy in any other city. You must tell him that you can’t live without him. Then he’ll feel flattered and be gentle as a lamb. You must pay the coachman, too: give him this paper with the address on it. 376 is a fourth-class hotel where they’re expecting you with him this evening.

GESCHWITZ--[_Shuddering._] How can such a monstrosity save your life? I don’t understand that. You have conjured up to torture me the most terrible fate that can fall upon outlawed me!

LULU--[_Watchful._] Perhaps the encounter will cure you.

GESCHWITZ--[_Sighing._] O Lulu, if an eternal retribution does exist, I hope I may not have to answer then for you. I cannot make myself believe that no God watches over us. Yet you are probably right that there is nothing there, for how can an insignificant worm like me have provoked his wrath so as to experience only horror there where all living creation swoons for bliss?

LULU--You needn’t complain. When you =are= happy you’re a hundred thousand times happier than one of us ordinary mortals ever is!

GESCHWITZ--I know that too! I envy no one! But I am still waiting. You have deceived me so often already.

LULU--I am yours, my darling, if you quiet Mr. Acrobat till to-morrow. He only wants his vanity placated. You must beseech him to take pity on you.

GESCHWITZ--And to-morrow?

LULU--I await you, my heart. I shall not open my eyes till you come: see no chambermaid, receive no hairdresser, not open my eyes before you are with me.

GESCHWITZ--Then let him come.

LULU--But you must throw yourself at his head, dear! Have you got the house-number?

GESCHWITZ--Three-seventy-six. But quick now!

LULU--[_Calls into the dining-room._] Ready, my darling?

RODRIGO--[_Entering._] The ladies will pardon my mouth’s being full.

GESCHWITZ--[_Seizing his hand._] I implore you, have mercy on my need!

RODRIGO--A la bonne heure! Let us mount the scaffold! [_Offers her his arm._]

LULU--Good night, children! [_Accompanies them into the corridor ... then quickly returns with_ BOB.] Quick, quick, Bob! We must get away this moment! You escort me! But we must change clothes!

BOB--[_Curt and clear._] As the gracious lady bids.

LULU--Oh what, gracious lady! You give me your clothes and put on mine. Come! [_Exeunt into the dining-room. Noise in the card-room, the doors are torn open, and_ PUNTSCHU, HEILMANN, ALVA, BIANETTA, MAGELONE, KADIDIA _and_ LUDMILLA _enter_, HEILMANN _holding a piece of paper with a glowing Alpine peak at its top_.]

HEILMANN--[_To_ PUNTSCHU.] Will you accept this share of Jungfrau-stock, sir?

PUNTSCHU--But that paper has no exchange, my friend.

HEILMANN--You rascal! You just don’t want to give me my revenge!

MAGELONE--[_To_ BIANETTA.] Have you any idea what it’s all about?

LUDMILLA--Puntschu has taken all his money from him, and now gives up the game.

HEILMANN--Now he’s got cold feet, the filthy Jew!

PUNTSCHU--How have I given up the game? How have I got cold feet? The gentleman has merely to lay plain cash! Is this my banking-office I’m in? He can proffer me his trash to-morrow morning!

HEILMANN--Trash you call that? The stock to my knowledge is at 210!

PUNTSCHU--Yesterday it was at 210, you’re right. To-day, it’s just nowhere. And to-morrow you’ll find nothing cheaper or more tasteful to paper your stairs with.

ALVA--But how is that possible? Then we =would= be down and out!

PUNTSCHU---Well, what am _I_ to say, who have lost my whole fortune in it! To-morrow morning I shall have the pleasure of taking up the struggle for an assured existence for the thirty-sixth time!

MAGELONE--[_Pressing forward._] Am I dreaming or do I really understand the Jungfrau-stock has fallen?

PUNTSCHU--Fallen even lower than you! Tho you can use ’em for curl-paper.

MAGELONE--O God in Heaven! Ten years’ work! [_Falls in a faint._]

KADIDIA--Wake up, Mama! Wake up!

BIANETTA--Say, Mr. Puntschu, where will you eat this evening, since you’ve lost your whole fortune?

PUNTSCHU--Wherever you like, young lady! Take me where you will, but quickly! Here it’s getting quite alarming. [_Exeunt_ PUNTSCHU _and_ BIANETTA.]

HEILMANN--[_Squeezing up his stock and flinging it to the ground._] That is what one gets from this pack!

LUDMILLA--Why did you speculate on the Jungfrau too? But just send a few little notes on the company here to the German police, and you may still win something in the end.

HEILMANN--I’ve never tried that yet, but if you want to help me----?

LUDMILLA--Let’s go to an all-night restaurant. Do you know the Five-footed Calf?

HEILMANN--I’m very sorry----

LUDMILLA--Or the Sucking Lamb, or the Smoking Dog? They’re all right near here. We’ll be all by ourselves there, and before dawn we’ll have a little article ready.

HEILMANN--Don’t you sleep?

LUDMILLA--Oh, of course; but not at night. [_Exeunt_ HEILMANN _and_ LUDMILLA.]

ALVA--[_Who has been trying to resuscitate_ MAGELONE.] Ice-cold hands! Ah, what a splendid woman! We must undo her waist. Come, Kadidia, undo your mother’s waist! She’s so fearfully tight-laced.

KADIDIA--[_Without stirring._] I’m afraid. [LULU _enters lower left in a jockey-cap, red jacket, white leather breeches and riding boots, a riding cape over her shoulders_.]

LULU--Have you any cash, Alva?

ALVA--[_Looking up._] Have you gone crazy?

LULU--In two minutes the police’ll be here. We are denounced. You can stay, of course, if you’re eager to!

ALVA--[_Springing up._] Merciful Heaven! [_Exeunt_ ALVA _and_ LULU.]

KADIDIA--[_Shaking her mother, in tears._] Mama, Mama! Wake up! They’ve all run away!

MAGELONE--[_Coming to herself._] And youth gone! And my best days behind me! Oh, this life!

KADIDIA--But I’m young, Mama! Why shouldn’t I earn any money? I don’t want to go back to the convent! Please, Mama, keep me with you!

MAGELONE--God bless you, sweetheart! You don’t know what you say----Oh, no, I shall look around for a vaudeville engagement, and sing the people my misfortunes with the Jungfrau-stock. Things like that are always applauded.

KADIDIA--But you’ve got no voice, Mama!

MAGELONE--Ah, yes, that’s true!

KADIDIA--Take me with you into vaudeville!

MAGELONE--No, it would break my heart!--But, well, if it can’t be otherwise, and you’re so made for it,--I can’t change things!--Yes, we can go to the Olympia together to-morrow!

KADIDIA--O Mama, how glad that makes me feel! [_A plain-clothes detective enters, upper left._]

DETECTIVE--In the name of the law--I arrest you!

CASTI-PIANI--[_Following him, bored._] What sort of nonsense is that? =That= isn’t the right one!

CURTAIN

ACT III

SCENE--_An attic room, without windows, but with two skylights, under one of which stands a bowl filled with rain-water. Down right, a door thru a board partition into a sort of cubicle under the slanting roof. Near it, a wobbly flower-table with a bottle and a smoking oil-lamp on it. Upper right, a worn-out couch. Door centre; near it, a chair without a seat. Down left, below the entrance door, a torn gray mattress. None of the doors can shut tight._

_The rain beats on the roof_. SCHIGOLCH _in a long gray overcoat lies on the mattress_; ALVA _on the couch, wrapped in a plaid whose straps still hang on the wall above him_.

SCHIGOLCH--The rain’s drumming for the parade.

ALVA--Cheerful weather for her first appearance! I dreamt just now we were dining together at the Olympia. Bianetta was with us there again. The tablecloth was dripping on all four sides with champagne.

SCHIGOLCH--Ya, ya. And I was dreaming of a Christmas pudding. [LULU _appears with her rather short hair falling to her shoulders, barefoot, in a torn black dress_.] Where have you been, child? Curling your hair first?

ALVA--She only does that to revive old memories.

LULU--If one could only get warmed up a little, from one of you!

ALVA--Are you going to enter barefoot on your pilgrimage?

SCHIGOLCH--The first step always costs all kinds of moaning and groaning. Twenty years ago it was no whit better, and what she has learned since then! The coals only have to be blown. When she’s been at it a week, not ten locomotives will hold her in our miserable attic.

ALVA--The bowl is running over.

LULU--What shall I do with the water?

ALVA--Pour it out the window. [LULU _gets up on the chair and empties the bowl thru the skylight_.]

LULU--It looks as if the rain were going to let up at last.

SCHIGOLCH--You’re wasting the time when the clerks go home after supper.

LULU--Would to God I were lying somewhere where no step would wake me any more!

ALVA--Would that I were, too! Why prolong this life? Let’s rather starve to death together this very evening in peace and concord! Aren’t we at the last stage now?

LULU--Why don’t =you= go out and get us something to eat? You’ve never earned a penny in your whole life!

ALVA--In this weather, when no one would kick a dog from his door?

LULU--But me! I, with the little blood I have left in my limbs, I am to stop your mouths!

ALVA--I don’t touch a farthing of the money!

SCHIGOLCH--Let her go, just! I long for one more Christmas pudding; then I’ve had enough.

ALVA--And I long for one more beefsteak and a cigarette; then die! I was just dreaming of a cigarette, such as has never yet been smoked!

SCHIGOLCH--She’ll rather see us finished before her eyes, than go and do herself a little pleasure.

LULU--The people on the street will sooner leave cloak and coat in my hands than go with me for nothing! If you hadn’t sold my clothes, I at least wouldn’t need to be afraid of the lamp-light. I’d like to see the woman who could earn anything in the rags I’m wearing on my body!

ALVA--I have left nothing human untried. As long as I had money I spent whole nights making up tables with which one couldn’t help winning against the cleverest card-sharps. And yet evening after evening I lost more than if I had shaken out gold by the pailful. Then I offered my services to the courtesans; but they don’t take anyone that the courts haven’t first branded, and they see at the first glance if one’s related to the guillotine or not.

SCHIGOLCH--Ya, ya.

ALVA--I spared myself no disillusionments; but when I made jokes, they laughed at =me=, and when I behaved as respectable as I am, they boxed my ears, and when I tried being smutty, they got so chaste and maidenly that my hair stood up on my head for horror. Him who has not prevailed over society, they have no confidence in.

SCHIGOLCH--Won’t you kindly put on your boots now, child? I don’t think I shall grow much older in this lodging. It’s months since I had any feeling in the ends of my toes. Toward midnight, I’ll drink a bit more down in the pub. The lady that keeps it told me yesterday I still had a serious chance of becoming her lover.

LULU--In the name of the three devils, I’ll go down! [_She puts to her mouth the bottle on the flower-table._]

SCHIGOLCH--So they can smell your stink a half-hour off!

LULU--I shan’t drink it all.

ALVA--You won’t go down. You’re my woman. You shan’t go down. I forbid it!

LULU--What would you forbid your woman when you can’t support yourself?

ALVA--Whose fault is that? Who but my woman has laid me on the sick-bed?

LULU--Am _I_ sick?

ALVA--Who has trailed me thru the dung? Who has made me my father’s murderer?

LULU--Did =you= shoot him? He didn’t lose much, but when I see you lying there I could hack off both my hands for having sinned against my judgment! [_She goes out, into her room._]

ALVA--She infected me from her Casti-Piani. It’s a long time since she was susceptible to it herself!

SCHIGOLCH--Little devils like her can’t begin putting up with it too soon, if angels are ever going to come out of them.

ALVA--She ought to have been born Empress of Russia. Then she’d have been in the right place. A second Catherine the Second! [LULU _re-enters with a worn-out pair of boots, and sits on the floor to put them on_.]

LULU--If only I don’t go headfirst down the stairs! Ugh, how cold! Is there anything in the world more dismal than a daughter of joy?

SCHIGOLCH--Patience, patience! It’s just a question of getting the right push into the business.

LULU--It’ll be all right with me! No one need pity me any more. [_Puts the bottle to her lips._] That fires one!--O accursed! [_Exit._]

SCHIGOLCH--When we hear her coming, we must creep into my cubby-hole awhile.

ALVA--I’m damned sorry for her! When I think back.... I grew up with her in a way, you know.

SCHIGOLCH--She’ll hold out as long as I live, anyway.

ALVA--We treated each other at first like brother and sister. Mama was still living then. I met her by chance one morning when she was dressing. Dr. Goll had been called for a consultation. Her hairdresser had read my first poem, that I’d had printed in “Society”: “Follow thy pack far over the mountains; it will return again, covered with sweat and dust----”

SCHIGOLCH--Oh, ya!

ALVA--And then she came, in rose-colored muslin, with nothing under it but a white satin slip--for the Spanish ambassador’s ball. Dr. Goll seemed to feel his death near. He asked me to dance with her, so she shouldn’t cause any mad acts. Papa meanwhile never turned his eyes from us, and all thru the waltz she was looking over my shoulder, only at him.... Afterwards she shot him. It is unbelievable.

SCHIGOLCH--I’ve only got a strong doubt whether anyone will bite any more.

ALVA--I shouldn’t like to advise anyone to! [SCHIGOLCH _grunts_.]--At that time, tho she was a fully developed woman, she had the expression of a five-year-old, joyous, utterly healthy child. And she was only three years younger than me then--but how long ago it is now! For all her immense superiority in matters of practical life, she let me explain “Tristan and Isolde” to her--and how entrancingly she could listen! Out of the little sister who even in her marriage still felt like a schoolgirl, came the unhappy, hysterical artist’s wife. Out of the artist’s wife came then the spouse of my murdered father, and out of =her= came, then, my mistress. Well, so that is the way of the world. Who will prevail against it?

SCHIGOLCH--If only she doesn’t skid away from the gentlemen with honorable intentions and bring us up instead some vagabond she’s exchanged her heart’s secrets with.

ALVA--I kissed her for the first time in her rustling bridal dress. But afterwards she didn’t remember it.... All the same, I believe she had thought of me even in my father’s arms. It can’t have been often with him: he had his best time behind him, and she deceived him with coachman and bootblack; but when she did give herself to him, then _I_ stood before her soul. That was the way, without my realizing it, that she acquired this dreadful power over me.

SCHIGOLCH--There they are! [_Heavy steps are heard mounting the stairs._]

ALVA--[_Starting up._] I will not endure it! I’ll throw the fellow out!

SCHIGOLCH--[_Wearily picks himself up, takes_ ALVA _by the collar and cuffs him toward the left_.] Forward, forward! How is the young man to confess his trouble to her with us two sprawling round here?

ALVA--But if he demands other things--low things--of her?

SCHIGOLCH--If, well, if! What more will he demand of her? He’s only a man like the rest of us!

ALVA--We must leave the door open.

SCHIGOLCH--[_Pushing_ ALVA _in, right_.] Nonsense! Lie down!

ALVA--I’ll hear it soon enough. Heaven spare him!

SCHIGOLCH--[_Closing the door, from inside._] Shut up!

ALVA--[_Faintly._] He’d better look out! [LULU _enters, followed by_ HUNIDEI, _a gigantic figure with a smooth-shaven, rosy face, sky-blue eyes, and a friendly smile. He wears a tall hat and overcoat and carries a dripping umbrella._]

LULU--Here’s where I live. [HUNIDEI _puts his finger to his lips and looks at_ LULU _significantly. Then he opens his umbrella and puts it on the floor, rear, to dry._] Of course, I know it isn’t very comfortable here. [HUNIDEI _comes forward and puts his hand over her mouth_.] What do you mean me to understand by that? [HUNIDEI _puts his hand over her mouth, and his finger to his lips_.] I don’t know what that means. [HUNIDEI _quickly stops her mouth_. LULU _frees herself_.] We’re quite alone here. No one will hear us. [HUNIDEI _lays his finger on his lips, shakes his head, points at_ LULU, _opens his mouth as if to speak, points at himself and then at the door_.] Good Lord, he’s a monster! [HUNIDEI _stops her mouth; then goes rear, folds up his overcoat and lays it over the chair near the door; then comes down with a broad smile, takes_ LULU’s _head in both his hands and kisses her on the forehead. The door, right, half opens._]

SCHIGOLCH--[_Behind the door._] He’s got a screw loose.

ALVA--He’d better look out!

SCHIGOLCH--She couldn’t have brought up anything drearier!

LULU--[_Stepping back._] I hope you’re going to give me something! [HUNIDEI _stops her mouth and presses a gold-piece in her hand, then looks at her uncertain, questioningly, as she examines it and throws it from one hand to the other_.] All right, it’s good. [_Puts it in her pocket._ HUNIDEI _quickly stops her mouth, gives her a few silver coins, and glances at her commandingly_.] Oh, that’s nice of you! [HUNIDEI _leaps madly about the room, brandishing his arms and staring upward in despair_. LULU _cautiously nears him, throws an arm round him and kisses him on the mouth. Laughing soundlessly, he frees himself from her and looks questioningly around. She takes up the lamp and opens the door to her room. He goes in smiling, taking off his hat. The stage is dark save for what light comes thru the cracks of the door._ ALVA _and_ SCHIGOLCH _creep out on all fours_.]

ALVA--They’re gone.

SCHIGOLCH--[_Behind him._] Wait.

ALVA--One can hear nothing here.

SCHIGOLCH--You’ve heard that often enough!

ALVA--I will kneel before her door.

SCHIGOLCH--Little mother’s sonny! [_Presses past_ ALVA, _gropes across the stage to_ HUNIDEI’s _coat, and searches the pockets_. ALVA _crawls to_ LULU’s _door_.] Gloves, nothing more! [_Turns the coat round, searches the inside pockets, pulls a book out that he gives to_ ALVA.] Just see what that is. [ALVA _holds the book to the light_.]

ALVA--[_Wearily deciphering the title-page._] Warnings to pious pilgrims and such as wish to be so. Very helpful. Price, 2s. 6d.

SCHIGOLCH--It looks to me as if God had left =him= pretty completely. [_Lays the coat over the chair again and makes for the cubby-hole._] There’s nothing =to= these people. The country’s best time’s behind it!

ALVA--Life is never as bad as it’s painted. [_He, too, creeps back._]

SCHIGOLCH--Not even a silk muffler he’s got and yet in Germany we creep on our bellies before this rabble.

ALVA--Come, let’s vanish again.

SCHIGOLCH--She only thinks of herself, and takes the first man that runs across her path. Hope the dog remembers her the rest of his life! [_They disappear, left, shutting the door behind them._ LULU _re-enters, setting the lamp on the table_. HUNIDEI _follows_.]

LULU--Will you come to see me again? [HUNIDEI _stops her mouth. She looks upward in a sort of despair and shakes her head_. HUNIDEI, _putting his coat on, approaches her grinning; she throws her arms around his neck; he gently frees himself, kisses her hand, and turns to the door. She starts to accompany him, but he signs to her to stay behind and noiselessly leaves the room._ SCHIGOLCH _and_ ALVA _re-enter_.]

LULU--[_Tonelessly._] How he has stirred me up!

ALVA--How much did he give you?

LULU--[_As before._] Here it is! All! Take it! I’m going down again.

SCHIGOLCH--We can still live like princes up here.

ALVA--He’s coming back.

SCHIGOLCH--Then let’s just retire again, quick.

ALVA--He’s after his prayer-book. Here it is. It must have fallen out of his coat.

LULU--[_Listening._] No, that isn’t he. That’s someone else.

ALVA--Someone’s coming up. I hear it quite plainly.

LULU--Now there’s someone tapping at the door. Who can it be?

SCHIGOLCH--Probably a good friend he’s recommended us to. Come in! [COUNTESS GESCHWITZ _enters, in poor clothes, with a canvas roll in her hand_.]

GESCHWITZ--[_To_ LULU.] If I’ve come at a bad time, I’ll turn around again. The truth is, I haven’t spoken to a living soul for ten days. I must just tell you right off, I haven’t received any money. My brother never answered me at all.

SCHIGOLCH--And now your ladyship would like to stretch her feet out under =our= table?

LULU--[_Tonelessly._] I’m going down again.

GESCHWITZ--Where are you going, in this finery?--Tho penniless, I have come not wholly empty-handed. I bring you something else. On my way here an old-clothes-man offered me twelve shillings for it, yes--but I could not force myself to part from it. You can sell it if you want to, tho.

SCHIGOLCH--What is it?