Part 7

1: _’oman_] _o’mans_ Q3. 7: _cold_] Rowe. _gold_ Ff Q3. 9: _as faith_] F1 Q3. _of faith_ F2 F3 F4. 11: _as extreme_] F1 Q3. om. _as_ F2 F3 F4. 11, 12: Printed in one line in Ff Q3. 20: _say_] _see_ Collier MS. _in the rivers_] F1 Q3. _into the river_ F2 F3 F4. 22: _terrors_] _terror_ Q3. 29: _midnight_] F1 Q3. _of midnight_ F2 F3 F4. 30: _great ragg’d_] _ragged_ Pope. 31: _tree_] _trees_ Hanmer. 41: Here Theobald inserts from Q1 Q2, _We’ll send him word to meet us in the field, Disguised like Herne_ [_Horne_ Q1 Q2] _with huge horns on his head._ Malone gives the second line only. See note (VIII). 56: _to-pinch_] Steevens (Tyrwhitt conj.).] _to pinch_ Ff Q3. _too, pinch_ Warburton. _fairy-like, to-pinch_] _like to fairies pinch_ Hanmer. 60: _him sound_] F2 F3 F4. _him, sound,_ F1 Q3. _him round,_ Pope. _him soundly_ Collier MS. 67: _taber_] _taper_ Pope. 72: _time_] _tire_ Theobald. 75: _in name_] _in the name_ Q3. 86: _he_] _him_ Hanmer.

## SCENE V. _A room in the Garter Inn._

_Enter HOST and SIMPLE._

_Host._ What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

_Sim._ Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from Master Slender.

_Host._ There’s his chamber, his house, his castle, his 5 standing-bed, and truckle-bed; ’tis painted about with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go knock and call; he’ll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: knock, I say.

_Sim._ There’s an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into 10 his chamber: I’ll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down; I come to speak with her, indeed.

_Host._ Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I’ll call. --Bully knight! bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, 15 calls.

_Fal._ [_Above_] How now, mine host!

_Host._ Here’s a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: fie! privacy? fie! 20

_Enter FALSTAFF._

_Fal._ There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she’s gone.

_Sim._ Pray you, sir, was’t not the wise woman of Brentford?

_Fal._ Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell: what would you 25 with her?

_Sim._ My master, sir, Master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain or no.

_Fal._ I spake with the old woman about it. 30

_Sim._ And what says she, I pray, sir?

_Fal._ Marry, she says that the very same man that beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him of it.

_Sim._ I would I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too 35 from him.

_Fal._ What are they? let us know.

_Host._ Ay, come; quick.

_Sim._ I may not conceal them, sir.

_Host._ Conceal them, or thou diest. 40

_Sim._ Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress Anne Page; to know if it were my master’s fortune to have her or no.

_Fal._ ’Tis, ’tis his fortune.

_Sim._ What, sir? 45

_Fal._ To have her, or no. Go; say the woman told me so.

_Sim._ May I be bold to say so, sir?

_Fal._ Ay, sir; like who more bold.

_Sim._ I thank your worship: I shall make my master 50 glad with these tidings. [_Exit._

_Host._ Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was there a wise woman with thee?

_Fal._ Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my 55 life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

_Enter BARDOLPH._

_Bard._ Out, alas, sir! cozenage, mere cozenage!

_Host._ Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto. 60

_Bard._ Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

_Host._ They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do 65 not say they be fled; Germans are honest men.

_Enter SIR HUGH EVANS._

_Evans._ Where is mine host?

_Host._ What is the matter, sir?

_Evans._ Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me there is three 70 cozen-germans that has cozened all the hosts of Readins, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good will, look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and ’tis not convenient you should be cozened. Fare you well. [_Exit._ 75

_Enter DOCTOR CAIUS._

_Caius._ Vere is mine host de Jarteer?

_Host._ Here, master doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma.

_Caius._ I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a me dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jamany: by my 80 trot, dere is no duke dat the court is know to come. I tell you for good vill: adieu. [_Exit._

_Host._ Hue and cry, villain, go!--Assist me, knight. --I am undone!--Fly, run, hue and cry, villain!--I am undone!

[_Exeunt Host and Bard._ 85

_Fal._ I would all the world might be cozened; for I have been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat drop by drop, and liquor 90 fishermen’s boots with me: I warrant they would whip me with their fine wits till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself at primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough [to say my prayers,] I would repent. 95

_Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY._

Now, whence come you?

_Quick._ From the two parties, forsooth.

_Fal._ The devil take one party, and his dam the other! and so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffered more for their sakes, more than the villanous inconstancy of 100 man’s disposition is able to bear.

_Quick._ And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; Mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her. 105

_Fal._ What tellest thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford: but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the

## action of an old woman, delivered me, the knave constable 110

had set me i’ the stocks, i’ the common stocks, for a witch.

_Quick._ Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, 115 what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed.

_Fal._ Come up into my chamber. [_Exeunt._

NOTES: IV, 5

## SCENE V.] SCENE VIII. Pope.

2: _snap_] _nap_ Q3. 17: [Above] Theobald. Enter Falstaff. Rowe. om. Ff Q3. 27: _Master Slender_] Steevens. _my master Slender,_ Ff Q3. 28: _thorough_] F1 Q3. _through_ F2 F3 F4. 39: Sim. _I may..._] Rowe. Fal. _I may..._ Ff Q3. Fal. _You may..._ Collier MS. 40: Host.] Fal. Warburton. _Conceal them, or_] _Conceal them, and_ Hanmer. _Aye conseil them or_ Becket conj. 39, 40: _conceal, Conceal_] _reveal, Reveal_ Farmer conj. 42: _master’s_] _master_ Q3. 49: _Ay, sir; like_] Ff Q3. _I tike,_ (Q1 Q2). _Ay, sir Tike,_ Steevens (Farmer conj.). _Ay, sir, tike,_ Collier. See note (IX). 58: SCENE IX. Pope. 61: _with_] _with by_ Collier MS. 71: _Readins_] _Reading_ F4. 80: _grand_] _agrand_ F3 F4. 85: [Exeunt H. and B.] Capell. [Exit F2. om. F1 Q3. 94: [_to say my prayers_] (Q1 Q2) Pope. om. Ff Q3. 95: _repent_] _pray and repent_ Collier MS. 96: SCENE X. Pope. 110: _an old woman_] _a wode woman_ Theobald.

## SCENE VI. _The same. Another room in the Garter Inn._

_Enter FENTON and HOST._

_Host._ Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy: I will give over all.

_Fent._ Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose, And, as I am a gentleman, I’ll give thee A hundred pound in gold more than your loss. 5

_Host._ I will hear you, Master Fenton; and I will at the least keep your counsel.

_Fent._ From time to time I have acquainted you With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; Who mutually hath answer’d my affection, 10 So far forth as herself might be her chooser, Even to my wish: I have a letter from her Of such contents as you will wonder at; The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, That neither singly can be manifested, 15 Without the show of both; fat Falstaff Hath a great scene: the image of the jest I’ll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host. To-night at Herne’s oak, just ’twixt twelve and one, Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen; 20 The purpose why, is here: in which disguise, While other jests are something rank on foot, Her father hath commanded her to slip Away with Slender, and with him at Eton Immediately to marry: she hath consented: 25 Now, sir, Her mother, even strong against that match, And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed That he shall likewise shuffle her away, While other sports are tasking of their minds, And at the deanery, where a priest attends, Straight marry her: to this her mother’s plot She seemingly obedient likewise hath Made promise to the doctor. Now, thus it rests: Her father means she shall be all in white; 35 And in that habit, when Slender sees his time To take her by the hand and bid her go, She shall go with him: her mother hath intended, The better to denote her to the doctor,-- For they must all be mask’d and vizarded,-- 40 That quaint in green she shall be loose enrobed, With ribands pendent, flaring ’bout her head; And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe, To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token, The maid hath given consent to go with him. 45

_Host._ Which means she to deceive, father or mother?

_Fent._ Both, my good host, to go along with me: And here it rests,--that you’ll procure the vicar To stay for me at church ’twixt twelve and one, And, in the lawful name of marrying, 50 To give our hearts united ceremony.

_Host._ Well, husband your device; I’ll to the vicar: Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.

_Fent._ So shall I evermore be bound to thee; Besides, I’ll make a present recompense. [_Exeunt._ 55

NOTES: IV, 6

## SCENE VI.] Ff Q3. SCENE XI. Pope. Theobald continues Sc. 5.

The same] Another room. Capell. 14: _whereof_] _whereof’s_ Pope. 16: _fat Falstaff_] F1 Q3. _wherein fat Falstaff_ (Q1 Q2) Malone. _fat sir John Falstaffe_ F2 F3 F4. _fat Falstaff, he_ S. Walker conj. _therein fat Falstaff_ Id. conj. 17: _scene_] _scare_ (Q1 Q2). _share_ S. Verges conj. _scene in it_ Capell. 27: _even_] _ever_ Pope. 39: _denote_] Capell (Steevens conj.). _devote_ Ff Q3. 50: _marrying_] _marriage_ S. Walker conj. 51: _ceremony_] _matrimony_ (Q1 Q2).

## ACT V.

## SCENE I. _A room in the Garter Inn._

_Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS QUICKLY._

_Fal._ Prithee, no more prattling; go. I’ll hold. This is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers. Away! go. They say there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death. Away!

_Quick._ I’ll provide you a chain; and I’ll do what I can 5 to get you a pair of horns.

_Fal._ Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [_Exit Mrs Quickly._

_Enter FORD._

How now, Master Brook! Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about 10 midnight, at Herne’s oak, and you shall see wonders.

_Ford._ Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed?

_Fal._ I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, Master Brook, like a 15 poor old woman. That same knave Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, Master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you:--he beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, Master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver’s 20 beam; because I know also life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along with me: I’ll tell you all, Master Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what ’twas to be beaten till lately. Follow me: I’ll tell you strange things of this knave Ford, on 25 whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow. Strange things in hand, Master Brook! Follow. [_Exeunt._

NOTES: V, 1

## ACT V. SCENE I.] ACT IV. (continued). SCENE XII. Pope.

## SCENE II. _Windsor Park._

_Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER._

_Page._ Come, come; we’ll couch i’ the castle-ditch till we see the light of our fairies. Remember, son Slender, my daughter.

_Slen._ Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word how to know one another: I come to her 5 in white, and cry, ‘mum;’ she cries ‘budget;’ and by that we know one another.

_Shal._ That’s good too: but what needs either your ‘mum’ or her ‘budget?’ the white will decipher her well enough. It hath struck ten o’clock. 10

_Page._ The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let’s away; follow me. [_Exeunt._

NOTES: V, 2

## SCENE II.] ACT V. SCENE I. Pope.

Windsor Park] Pope. [A street. Capell. 3: _daughter_] om. F1 Q3.

## SCENE III. _A street leading to the Park._

_Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and DOCTOR CAIUS._

_Mrs Page._ Master doctor, my daughter is in green: when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly. Go before into the Park: we two must go together.

_Caius._ I know vat I have to do. Adieu. 5

_Mrs Page._ Fare you well, sir. [_Exit Caius._] My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff as he will chafe at the doctor’s marrying my daughter: but ’tis no matter; better a little chiding than a great deal of heart-break. 10

_Mrs Ford._ Where is Nan now and her troop of fairies, and the Welsh devil Hugh?

_Mrs Page._ They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne’s oak, with obscured lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff’s and our meeting, they will at once 15 display to the night.

_Mrs Ford._ That cannot choose but amaze him.

_Mrs Page._ If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.

_Mrs Ford._ We’ll betray him finely. 20

_Mrs Page._ Against such lewdsters and their lechery Those that betray them do no treachery.

_Mrs Ford._ The hour draws on. To the oak, to the oak! [_Exeunt._

NOTES: V, 3

## SCENE III.] SCENE II. Pope.

A street, &c.] [Another street, &c. Capell.] 12: _Hugh_] Capell. _Herne_ Ff Q3. _Evans_ Theobald (Thirlby conj.). 19: _every way_] F1 Q3. om. F2 F3 F4.

## SCENE IV. _Windsor Park._

_Enter SIR HUGH EVANS disguised, with others as Fairies._

_Evans._ Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember your parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit; and when I give the watch-’ords, do as I pid you: come, come; trib, trib. [_Exeunt._

NOTES: V, 4

## SCENE IV.] SCENE II. continued in Pope.

3: _pid_] F1 Q3. _bid_ F2 F3 F4.

## SCENE V. _Another part of the Park._

_Enter FALSTAFF disguised as Horne._

_Fal._ The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me! Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns. O powerful love! that, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast. You 5 were also, Jupiter, a swan for the love of Leda. O omnipotent Love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose!--A fault done first in the form of a beast;--O Jove, a beastly fault! And then another fault in the semblance of a fowl;--think on’t, Jove; a foul fault! When gods have 10 hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i’ the forest. Send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow?--Who comes here? my doe?

_Enter MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE._

_Mrs Ford._ Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my 15 male deer?

_Fal._ My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves, hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here. 20

_Mrs Ford._ Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.

_Fal._ Divide me like a bribe buck, each a haunch: I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands. Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like Herne the hunter? 25 Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! [_Noise within._

_Mrs Page._ Alas, what noise?

_Mrs Ford._ Heaven forgive our sins!

_Fal._ What should this be? 30

_Mrs Ford._} Away, away! [_They run off._ _Mrs Page._}

_Fal._ I think the devil will not have me damned, lest the oil that’s in me should set hell on fire; he would never else cross me thus.

_Enter SIR HUGH EVANS, disguised as before; PISTOL, as Hobgoblin; MISTRESS QUICKLY, ANNE PAGE, and others, as Fairies, with tapers._

_Quick._ Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, 35 You moonshine revellers, and shades of night, You orphan heirs of fixed destiny, Attend your office and your quality. Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes.

_Pist._ Elves, list your names; silence, you airy toys. 40 Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap: Where fires thou find’st unraked and hearths unswept, There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry: Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery.

_Fal._ They are fairies; he that speaks to them shall die: 45 I’ll wink and couch: no man their works must eye. [_Lies down upon his face._

_Evans._ Where’s Bede? Go you, and where you find a maid That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said, Raise up the organs of her fantasy; Sleep she as sound as careless infancy: 50 But those as sleep and think not on their sins, Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and shins.

_Quick._ About, about; Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out: Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room; 55 That it may stand till the perpetual doom, In state as wholesome as in state ’tis fit, Worthy the owner, and the owner it. The several chairs of order look you scour With juice of balm and every precious flower: 60 Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest, With loyal blazon, evermore be blest! And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing, Like to the Garter’s compass, in a ring: Th’ expressure that it bears, green let it be, 65 More fertile-fresh than all the field to see; And _Honi soit qui mal y pense_ write In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white; Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery, Buckled below fair knighthood’s bending knee: 70 Fairies use flowers for their charactery. Away; disperse: but till ’tis one o’clock, Our dance of custom round about the oak Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.

_Evans._ Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set; 75 And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, To guide our measure round about the tree.-- But, stay; I smell a man of middle-earth.

_Fal._ Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he transform me to a piece of cheese! 80

_Pist._ Vile worm, thou wast o’erlook’d even in thy birth.

_Quick._ With trial-fire touch me his finger-end: If he be chaste, the flame will back descend, And turn him to no pain; but if he start, It is the flesh of a corrupted heart. 85

_Pist._ A trial, come.

_Evans._ Come, will this wood take fire?

[_They burn him with their tapers._

_Fal._ Oh, Oh, Oh!

_Quick._ Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire! About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme; And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time. 90

SONG.

Fie on sinful fantasy! Fie on lust and luxury! Lust is but a bloody fire, Kindled with unchaste desire, Fed in heart, whose flames aspire, 95 As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher. Pinch him, fairies, mutually; Pinch him for his villany; Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out. 100

_During this song they pinch FALSTAFF. DOCTOR CAIUS comes one way, and steals away a boy in green; SLENDER another way, and takes off a boy in white; and FENTON comes, and_ _steals away Mrs ANNE PAGE. A noise of hunting is heard within. All the Fairies run away. FALSTAFF pulls off his buck’s head, and rises._

_Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD._

_Page._ Nay, do not fly; I think we have watch’d you now: Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn?

_Mrs Page._ I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher. Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives? See you these, husband? do not these fair yokes 105 Become the forest better than the town?

_Ford._ Now, sir, who’s a cuckold now? Master Brook, Falstaff’s a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his horns, Master Brook: and, Master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford’s but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty 110 pounds of money, which must be paid to Master Brook; his horses are arrested for it, Master Brook.

_Mrs Ford._ Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again; but I will always count you my deer. 115

_Fal._ I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.

_Ford._ Ay, and an ox too: both the proofs are extant.

_Fal._ And these are not fairies? I was three or four times in the thought they were not fairies: and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, 120 drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now how wit may be made a Jack-a-Lent, when ’tis upon ill employment!

_Evans._ Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your 125 desires, and fairies will not pinse you.

_Ford._ Well said, fairy Hugh.

_Evans._ And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you.

_Ford._ I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English. 130