Part 1
# Sane Sex Life and Sane Sex Living: Some Things That All Sane People Ought to Know About Sex Nature and Sex Functioning; Its Place in the Economy of Life, Its Proper Training and Righteous Exercise ### By Long, H. W. (Harland William)
---
SANE SEX LIFE AND SANE SEX LIVING
SOME THINGS THAT ALL SANE PEOPLE OUGHT TO KNOW ABOUT SEX NATURE AND SEX FUNCTIONING; ITS PLACE IN THE ECONOMY OF LIFE, ITS PROPER TRAINING AND RIGHTEOUS EXERCISE
H.W. LONG, M.D.
_AUTHORIZED EDITION_
EUGENICS PUBLISHING CO., INC.
NEW YORK
1919
MADE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
TO MY FELLOW-MEMBERS OF THE MEDICAL PROFESSION INTO WHOSE HANDS THIS
## BOOK MAY COME, AND TO ALL WHO MAY READ IT UNDER THEIR DIRECTION, THIS
VOLUME IS MOST SINCERELY DEDICATED BY THE AUTHOR.
NOTE TO THE READER
IN ORDER TO GAIN A CORRECT IMPRESSION OF THE BOOK, IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT IT BE READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END WITHOUT ANY SKIPPING WHATSOEVER. ONCE READ, IT CAN BE RE-READ, HERE AND THERE, AS THE READER MAY DESIRE. BUT FOR A FIRST READING, IT IS THE EARNEST WISH OF THE AUTHOR THAT EVERY WORD BE READ, FOR IN NO OTHER WAY CAN THE PURPOSE OF THE BOOK BE REALIZED.
INTRODUCTION
As we have moved down the ages, now and then, from the religious teacher, the statesman, the inventor, the social worker, or from the doctor, surgeon, or sexologist, there has been a "_vox clamantis in deserto_." Usually these voices have fallen on unheeding ears; but again and again some delver in books, some student of men, some inspired, self-effacing, or altruistic one has taken up the cry; and at last unthinking, unheeding, superficial, self-satisfied humanity has turned to listen.
Aristotle by the sure inductive method learned and taught much, concerning the sex relations of men and women, that it would profit us today to heed. Balzac, Luther, Michelet, Spencer, and later, at our very doors, Krafft-Ebbing, Forel, Bloch, Ellis, Freud, Hall, and scores of others have added their voices. All these have seen whither we were drifting, and have made vigorous protests according to their lights. Many of these protests should have been heard, but were not, and only now are just beginning to be heeded. Such pioneers in the field of proper, healthful, ethical, religious, sane daily sex living, have been Sturgis and Malchow, who talked earnestly to an unheeding profession of these things, and now, I have the honor to write an introductory word to a book in this field, that is sane, wise, practical, entirely truthful, and unspeakably necessary.
I can endorse the teachings in Dr. Long's book more fully because I have, for nearly a quarter of a century, been holding similar views, and dispensing similar, though perhaps less explicit, information. I know from long observation that the teaching is wholesome and necessary, and that the results are universally uplifting. Such teachings improve health, prolong life, and promote virtue, adding to the happiness and lessening the burdens of men, on the one hand; on the other, reducing their crimes and vices. A book like this would have proved invaluable to me on my entrance to the married state; but had I had it, I might not have been forced to acquire the knowledge which enables me now to state with all solemnity, that I personally know hundreds of couples whose lives were wrecked for lack of such knowledge, and that I more intimately know hundreds of others to whom verbal teaching along the lines he has laid down, has brought happiness, health and goodness.
Dr. Long advances no theories; neither do I. He has found by studying himself and other people, a sane and salutary way of sex living, and fearlessly has prescribed this to a limited circle for a long time. I congratulate him for his perspicacity, temerity, and wisdom. He offers no apology, and there is no occasion for any. He says, "All has been set down in love, by a lover, for the sake of lovers yet to be, in the hope of helping them on toward a divine consummation." That is, he has developed these ideas at home, and then spread them abroad, or, he has found them abroad and brought them home; and they worked.
I also speak somewhat _ex experientia_ and have some intimate personal knowledge of many of these things. Therefore, I advocate his doctrine, the more readily, and maintain that humanity needs these ideas as much today as when M. Jules Lemaitre wrote his late introduction to Michelet's _L'Amour_. He said: "_Il ne parait pas, apres quarante ans passes, que les choses aillent mieux, ni que le livre de Michelet ait rien perdu de son a-propos_." Twenty years more have elapsed and things have not yet become much better. Frank sex talks like Dr. Long's teaching are as a-propos today as was Michelet's book when it was written, or when, after forty years had passed M. Lemaitre wrote his introduction.
Idealism is right, and we all approve it; so much so, that many of us cannot see that ultra-idealism, extremism in right, (it is foolish to attempt to attain anything better than the best) may be wrong. Undoubtedly, entire devotion to the material and physical, is also wrong; but we never must lose sight of the palpable fact that, unless we have a proper, stable, natural, well-regulated physical or material foundation, we must fall short of all ideals. Proper physical adjustments enable the realization of realizable ideals. Unrealizable ideals are chimeras pursued into futurity, while a world that should be human and happy waits in vice and misery. I gather that Dr. Long believes that reducing this vice and misery, and increasing human happiness and improving health are suitable works with which to companion a faith in the Arbiter of our destinies.
If thus he develops his idea of the integrity of the universe, I agree with him fully. His book, since it delineates the numerous details of a normal sex life, can be sold, thanks to our prudish public, only to the profession. I believe it should go to the larger public as it has gone formerly to his smaller community.
In spite of imperfect ideals the Orient has endured, while we of the Occident are fast becoming decadent. We, by learning something of the art of love, and of the natural life of married people, from the Hindoos, may perpetuate our civilization. They, by adopting the best of our transcendentalism, may reach higher development than we yet have attained.
The time has come for a book like this to command the attention of medical men, since now an awakened public demands from them, as the conservers of life and the directors of physiological living, explicit directions in everything pertaining to the physician's calling, not omitting the intimate, intricate, long taboo and disdained details of sex life and procreation.
W.F. ROBIE, M.D.
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
By Dr. W.F. Robie, author of "The Art of Love"
Need for facts about sex and love--Present ignorance of sex relations--Sex information improves health, prolongs life, promotes virtue, adds to happiness--Frank talks needed--This book describes details of normal sex life, describes art of love, gives explicit instructions pertaining to intimacies of sex life.
FOREWORD
Answers problems of sex life in the delicate relations of marriage--Most people too timid to reveal reasons for their sexual difficulties--Knowledge in a book less embarrassing to gain--Never before could people find facts they wanted to know most--This book prepared especially to help husbands and wives to live wholesome sex lives--Gives them facts all married people should know--Explains how to use that information to make marriage a success--Especially valuable for newlyweds if read on honeymoon--Those now married who do not get on well together will find in this book relief from suffering and woe.
EXPLANATORY INTRODUCTION
Wrong teachings about sex--Children brought up in ignorance on sex matters--No information given by parents, schools, churches--But children will find out even if they go to wrong sources--Some one must tell the truth--This book does it.
THE ARGUMENT AND THE INFORMATION
Until recently it was a crime to give knowledge concerning sex relations--Sex knowledge denied through selfishness or prudery--This is wrong because sex is of highest importance to human beings--Ills, crimes, misfortunes are result when people are forced to be ignorant of knowledge they need--Condemned to suffer tortures when they might enjoy delights--Sex is clean and natural--At last sex knowledge may be given freely--Advice in this book gained from personal and professional experience.
THE CORRECT MENTAL ATTITUDE
Definite information now given which will help husbands and wives to find perpetual and increasing happiness all their lives--Duty of brides and grooms to acquaint themselves with each other's sexual needs--No man or woman should be ashamed of the sexual make-up--They should be proud of their sexual functions and virility--Read the book without shame or shock--Gaining honest truth about these matters is most essential to life.
THE SEX ORGANS
Male sex organs are penis and testicles--Size and form of penis when at rest and during sexual excitement--Position of testicles--Why one teste is larger--Pubic regions in men and women.
Female sex organs are vulva, vaginal passage, womb, and ovaries--Length of vaginal passage compared with distended penis--Size and formation of womb--Position of ovaries.
FUNCTION OF THE SEX ORGANS
Primary purpose of sex in the human race--Life is the result of union of two forces--Birth the same in human beings as in other forms of life--Process of conception in female--How female ovum is fertilized by male--When puberty begins and ends in women.
Menstruation, its cause and meaning--When ovum may be impregnated--Origin of sperm in man--Purpose of prostate gland--What semen is--For birth of new life union of male and female sex organs necessary--Glans penis in man and clitoris in woman are "exciting" focal points--Climax of coitus.
Use of sexual organs to produce offspring same in mankind as in animals--One way in which human beings differ from animals in sex relations--Coitus possible in animals only in "rutting" season--In human beings coitus enjoyable at any time--What this difference means to happiness--The basis of real success in marriage--Married people can reach highest conditions of wedlock when they know and practice what is right in sex--No "rights" conferred in sex relations through the ceremony of marriage.
Different views of sexual relations for purpose of happiness--Padlocks to prevent exercise of sexual functions--Effect of falsehoods about sex relations--Innocent brides and goody-good husbands--Differences of opinion by brides and grooms lead to terrible wrongs on marriage night--False teaching often results in the "rape of the wedding night"--How definite knowledge prevents this shock to bride and makes for perfect bliss--The second kind of coitus reserved only for human beings can bring highest physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.
THE ACT OF COITUS
Coitus consists of four parts or acts--Where ninety-nine one-hundredths of all married troubles begin--Usually husband's fault due to ignorance or carelessness.
First part of act of coitus--Difference between men and women in time needed for sexual readiness--Women usually slower--Prostatic flow and pre-coital secretion--Coitus harmful when either partner not fully ready for sexual union--Taking time most important feature--Special information for newlyweds--Woman's fear of "something new" and of pregnancy--Husband should not insist upon "rights"--Evils which follow this wrong attitude--True marriage based on mutual love--Key to married happiness--Married love needs continual care by husband and wife--Instructions for performing first part of act of coitus.
Second part of act of coitus--Many positions possible--Best position--Instructions for performing second part of act of coitus.
Third part of act of coitus--A common mistake made by many wives, especially young brides--Need for complete freedom on part of woman--Length of time required--Skill and intensity needed by husband and wife--Instructions for performing third part of act of coitus.
Fourth and final part of act of coitus--When done correctly greatest of all human experiences--What happens to the man--What occurs in the woman--No connection with possibility of pregnancy--Designed by nature especially for woman's satisfaction and pleasure--Special instruction for husband and wife--Review of all the four parts of the act of coitus.
THE FIRST UNION
Special conditions which must be considered when bride is to have first sexual congress--Her state of mind--Need for better acquaintance--What both bride and groom should know about the woman's sex organs; where located, parts, how constructed, sensitivity--How shape and size of mouth indicate shape and size of woman's sex organs.
The hymen or "maidenhead"--Meaning of its presence or absence--How it may be removed without danger or pain--First union should be accomplished by mutual desire and effort--Chances of conception in coitus--Desire for children.
The right to have children when wanted--A matter of choice--Difference between infanticide, abortion and prevention of pregnancy--How husband and wife can tell when there is no danger of impregnation--A rule of coitus which should never be violated--What information about pregnancy may be gained from menstrual period--Most women have two weeks of "free time" each month--Freedom from fear an accomplishment which adds to happiness of marriage.
THE ART OF LOVE
Must be learned and mastered because partners in marriage often not matched physically or psychically--Ordinary cases of physical mismatching--Difference in size of sex organs may produce unfortunate results--How to discover physical mismatching--How to correct it--Instructions for overcoming physical mismatching.
Psychical mismatching--Differences between men and women cause for great dissatisfaction if not known and corrected--Instructions for correcting psychical mismatching if husband is at fault; if wife is at fault--Extending time of first part of coitus--Inducing pre-coital flow in woman--Essential that first part of coitus be continued until woman is ready for second part--Necessity for husband to know ways to extend time of third part of coitus--"Keeping the cap on"--What wife can do to correct physical and psychical mismatching.
Sex stimulation is right and wholesome--Instructions if normal sex relations are impossible--Special information on sex stimulation for brides and grooms--Valuable addition to sex knowledge.
COITUS RESERVATUS
A mental and spiritual love embrace--Fulfillment of courting--Specially valuable during time when woman is not "free"--Value of sexual stimulation if not carried to excess.
Frequency of coitus--Men who wear themselves out--Women who wear out their husbands--Mismatching in sexual temperament and desire--How to correct it--Women who are anesthetic to sexual desire, and how to overcome it--Impotence in men.
How late in life can coitus be practiced with benefit to health--Danger of withholding sex functioning--Sex organs able to function until late in life--Sexual desires in women after "change in life"--Proof that Art of Love must be learned and that it can bring lifelong happiness.
CLEANLINESS
Need for keeping body clean, sexual reaction--Parts of body woman should be specially careful to keep clean--Portion of body man should be specially careful to clean--Effect of mouth and armpit odors.
PREGNANCY
Complete home with children supreme attainment of life--Begetting children should be deliberate choice by parents--Proper time for begetting children--Danger of waiting too long to have children--When first child should be born--At what age of parents should children be born.
Is coitus wise during pregnancy--How the Art of Love provides for this time--Passions of women during period of pregnancy--Criminal for husband to compel coitus upon wife unless desired by her.
CONCLUSION
Book written with purpose of helping lover on towards divine consummation--Two final instructions--Become master of the Art of Love--Learn science of Procreation.
About married people who cannot have children--A guide to happiness--Chief facts of true marriage.
FOREWORD
_To Members of the Medical Profession into Whose Hands This Book May Come_:
The following pages are more in the nature of a manuscript, or heart-to-heart talk between those who have mutual confidence in each other, than of a technical, or strictly scientific treatise of the subject in hand; and I cannot do better, for all parties concerned, than to explain, just here in the beginning, how this came about, and why I have concluded to leave the copy practically as it was originally written.
In common with nearly all members of our profession who are engaged in the general practice of medicine, I have had numbers of married men and women, husbands and wives, patients and otherwise, who have come to me for counsel and advice regarding matters which pertain to their sex-life, as that problem presented itself to them personally. As we all know, many of the most serious and complicated cases we have to deal with have their origins in these delicate relations which so often exist among wedded people, of all classes and varieties.
For a number of years I did what I could for these patrons of mine, by way of confidential talks and the like, my experience in this regard probably being about on a par with that of my medical brethren who are engaged in the same kind of work. It is needless to say that I found, as you have doubtless found under the same conditions, many obstacles to prevent satisfactory results, by this method of procedure. My patients were often so reticent, or timid and shame-faced, that it was frequently difficult to get at the real facts in their cases, and, as we all know, many of these would, for these and other reasons, conceal more than they revealed, thereby keeping out of evidence the most vital and significant items in their individual cases. All these things, of course, tended to make bad matters worse, or resulted in nothing that was really worth while.
After some years of this sort of experience, and meditating much on the situation, I came to the conclusion that a very large percentage of all this trouble which I and my patrons had to go up against, was almost entirely the result of ignorance on the part of those who came to consult me; and because knowledge is always the antidote for not knowing, I came to the conclusion that, if it were possible to "put these people wise" where they were now so uninformed, I might at once save them from a deal of harm and myself from much trouble and annoyance.
Further than this, I remembered once hearing a wise man say that often "what cannot be said may be sung"; and I realized that it is equally true that much which would be awkward, or embarrassing, if said to a person, face to face, might be got to them in writing with impunity. This I found to be especially true of my women patients, some of whom might become suspicious of a wrong intent from the things said in a private conversation, when they would have no such fears or doubts if they read the same words from a printed page. It was these considerations which first suggested to me the writing of the following pages.
Still other reasons why I did as I did were as follows: You see, at once, if you stop to think about it, that the writing out of the knowledge I proposed to impart was really a matter of necessity for me, because of the _saving of time_ which would thereby be secured. To get any results that would be worth while in these matters, I would be required to tell about ever so many things concerning which they were totally ignorant; and to tell about ever so many things, by word of mouth, to each individual patient, _takes time_--ever so much time, if the work is well done, and it had better not be done at all if it is not well done. So I really was forced to write out what I wanted to teach these patients of mine.
And let me say further that I was compelled to write these things out for my people as I have written them, because, in all the range of literature on this vital subject, I knew of nothing which would tell them just what it seemed to me they ought to be told, and what they ought to know.
And so it was that I wrote the manuscript which is now printed in the following pages. I did not write it at first just as it now stands, because experience showed me, from time to time, where my first efforts could be modified and improved. So what is here presented is the result of many practical demonstrations of the real working value of what the manuscript contains.
My method of using the copy has been something as follows: As I have already suggested, what I have written has been prepared for the sole and express purpose of helping husbands and wives to live sane and wholesome sex-lives--to give them the requisite knowledge for so doing; knowledge of themselves and of each other as sexual beings; the correct ideas regarding such right manner of living; to disabuse their minds of wrong sex-teaching, or no teaching at all, of ignorance, or prudery, or carelessness, or lust--in a word, to get to them the things that all sane married people ought to know, and to help them to practice these things, to the best of their several abilities.
(Perhaps I ought to say that there is not a line of what I have written that deals with the subject of venereal diseases, any of them. This field is already so well covered by a literature especially devoted to this subject that it needs no word of mine to make it as satisfactory as possible, as far as discoveries regarding the same have progressed. My attempt is toward making marriage more of a success than it now is, under existing conditions; and we all know that there is a limitless field for exploration and exploitation right there.)
Speaking somewhat generally, I have found what I have written to be of special value to two classes of my patrons: First, to the "newly-weds"; and, second, to those who have been married for a longer or shorter period, and who "have not got on well together." A word or two regarding each of these:
It is a wise old saying that "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," and in no other experience of life is this so true as in the ills to which married people are peculiarly subject. Many a newly wedded couple have wrecked the possibilities of happiness of a life time on their "honeymoon trip"; and it is a matter of common knowledge to the members of our profession that the great majority of brides are practically raped on their entrance into the married relation. Further than this, we all know that these things are as they are chiefly because of the ignorance of the parties concerned, rather than because they deliberately meant to do wrong. They were left to travel, alone and unguided, over what was to them an unknown way, one that was beset with pitfalls and precipices, and where dangers lurked in every forward step they took. It is to these that I have found what I have written to be a great help at the time of their utmost need; and the thanks I have received from such parties have been beyond the power of words to express.
As to just when it is best to put this information into the hands of young married people, my experience has varied with the personality of the parties concerned. In some cases I have put the copy into their hands some time before their marriage; in others, not till some time thereafter; but, as a rule, I have got the best results by putting the manuscript into their hands just at the time of their marriage, and in most of these cases the greatest success has come from their reading it together during their honeymoon. However, this is a matter on which I do not care to advise, and regarding which each practitioner must act to the best of his own judgment.