Part 8
And let no one make the mistake of thinking that thus moistening the vulva with saliva is unseemly, or unsanitary. It is neither. On the contrary, it is nature's way of helping to perfection an act which, but for such timely assistance, might never be brought to a successful issue. As has already been noted, chemically, saliva and the pre-coital fluid are almost identical. They are both a natural secretion of a mucous membrane, are alkaline in reaction, their native purpose is lubrication, and, as a matter of fact, the saliva is as natural an application to the lips of the vulva as it is to the interior of the mouth or throat. Truth to tell, the practice of applying saliva to the genitals before coition is very general, so much so that it might almost be counted as instinctive. It is mentioned here only to remove any prejudice that might linger in the sophisticated mind of the reader. Such use of saliva is no more to be deprecated than its application in a hundred other ways, such as moistening the fingers to turn a leaf, of "licking" one's fingers after eating candy. Such use of this fluid from the mouth might be condemned by the "over-nice," but it is quite universally practiced, and it is neither unwholesome nor unsanitary.
It is sometimes recommended that some form of oil, as sweet oil or vaseline, be used as an unguent for anointing the parts before engaging in coitus, but this practice cannot be recommended. Oil is not a natural product of the parts to which it is applied, it is chemically unlike their secretions, and to smear the delicate organs with a fluid that is foreign to their nature, is unwise, unsanitary, not to say filthy. It is like greasing the mouth to make food slip down easily. And it is easy to understand how such application of an unguent to the mouth would impair the taste, dull the nerves of sensation, and greatly interfere with the native and wholesome uses of the oral cavity.
So don't be afraid or ashamed to use saliva in preparing the vulva and the vagina for the reception of their natural mate.
And so, to return to where we left off, if the wife is slower timed than her husband, her passion can be greatly increased by the manipulation just described. Indeed, it could be very easily carried to such length--the lips and tongue playing with the nipple, and the finger-stroking of the vulva--that the woman could be brought to an orgasm without the union of the organs at all! This is a form of masturbation (this word has a bad meaning attached to it, but it is a good word, as will shortly be shown, and it has its legitimate uses; but, as a preparation for coition, it should not be carried any further than is essential for bringing the laggard passion of the woman up to an equal tension of that of her lover.) A few weeks', or months', practice will enable a wife to determine just how much of this form of "courting" will bring her to the desired point of excitement; and, when this point is reached, she should invite her husband to "come up over," if the first position is to be adopted for the rest of the act; or, she should throw herself into her lover's arms, if the second position is used.
Just a little more--If, after getting into one position or the other, it seems to the wife that she is not yet fairly abreast of her husband in the intensity of her passion, let her _still further_ seek to advance it, as follows:
If the position with the husband superior is taken, let him, after he has gotten into place and before the organs are united, have his wife take his penis in her hand, and, as he moves his hips up and down, stroke her vulva, especially the clitoris, with the glans penis--not entering the vagina at once, but continuing this form of _exterior_ contact of the organs, for a longer or shorter time--slipping past the wide open vaginal mouth, even when the wife raises her thighs and, as it were, begs for an entrance; tantalizing her to the point of distraction--till, finally, she will "take no for an answer" no longer, but will, in an ecstacy, slip the penis into the vagina, and thus consummate their union.
If she be far enough abandoned with her passion, such entrance may be made at a single stroke, not to say a furious plunge. But if the vulva and vagina are not yet fully dilated, the entrance should be carefully made, gently made, as she can bear it, as _she_ wishes it to be.
Sometimes, yes, not infrequently, in this position, the external stroking of the organs may be continued to the very verge of the orgasm, so that, especially if the entrance can be made, as it were, in a frenzy of passionate delight, the organs coming into full length union at a single impulse, or rushing together--then the simultaneous climax _may_ be reached with one or two in-and-out motions--or, perhaps the single master-plunge may win the goal instanter! If so, a consummation devoutly to be wished has been successfully reached!
Again, if the wife is slow, and the man is quick, in this play for "getting together," it will enable the man to greatly extend and protract what might be called the time of his possible _retention_, if he can keep the foreskin over the glans penis. Some men cannot do this. If they have been circumcised, of course they cannot! But if the glans penis can be covered with the foreskin during all this playing together, it will enable the husband to prolong his "retentional time" far beyond what he otherwise could. Some men have the power of "retaining" to almost any length of time by the exercise of their will power, and so they can _wait_ for their wives. If the wife is slower timed than the husband, he should _carefully cultivate the "art of retaining"_ and so wait for her. _To do this successfully will greatly increase married happiness_.
This same remark (keeping the gland covered) applies with equal force to the possibilities of the man's retention after the organs are united, and all through the third part of the act. If the penis can enter the vagina with its "natural cap on," the husband can give his wife the pleasure of many times the amount of in-and-out motion than he could otherwise bestow upon her. And if the wife is the slower of the two (as is generally the case) she will greatly appreciate such a favor, and will repay it a THOUSAND FOLD by the responsive, reciprocal motions which she will LAVISH upon her _considerate_ lover.
This is an item of almost supreme importance--this "keeping the cap on" the penis, during the act, _if the wife is slower than the husband_--if they need to have a care, to insure their "getting off together."
And here is a curious fact, which would seem to show that Mother Nature has especially provided a blissful reward for both the husband and wife who will be careful on this point. Thus, if the husband will be careful to have the glans penis covered with the foreskin (and, of course, this can _never_ be, if the organs are united when the vulva and vagina are dry) when it enters the vagina, and will so engage in the in-and-out motion that it will _stay covered_ as the _third_ act progresses--if this is done, when the climax comes, if the two "spend together," the womb will open its mouth as it were, clasp the foreskin, slip it back over the gland so that, when the supreme instant comes, the naked gland will be in the most direct and blissful contact with the most sensitive part of the uterus! This is a most wonderful provision of nature, and to utilize it, and enjoy it to its utmost, is the maximum of human delight!
Again, if after the organs are well together, in the man-superior position, and the in-and-out motion has begun, it should be found that the wife is still behind in the game, she can gain greatly in "catching up" if she is permitted to _originate_ the larger part of the motion. To enable her to do this, let her husband hold his body quite well above her, so that she can have plenty of freedom to move her hips as she may choose to. Added to this, if the husband will, in large measure, "hold still," and keep his penis in such position that it presses against the _upper part_ of the vulva, that is against the clitoris, (as the phrase goes, if he will "ride high") and then permit his _wife_ to make "long strokes," sliding the organs together for their full possible length, with the clitoris in constant contact with the penis, during the whole of each stroke--all of this will greatly and rapidly increase her passions and bring her to the climax.
Or, as a variation from this, if the organs can be united to their fullest possible limit, so that the base of the penis presses firmly against the Mons Veneris, and the clitoris and labiae almost clasp their mate; and then, in this position, if the husband will maintain the _status quo_, while she lifts her hips hard against his, and _swings them about_, in a sort of circular motion "round and round," as it were--this will also greatly increase her passion, and soon bring her to the climax.
In both these last described ways of courting, the husband should be _extra careful not_ to permit the weight of his body to press down heavily upon his wife. He should _wholly_ sustain himself on his elbows and knees, and permit her to lift herself, at least her hips, by the help of her arms around his waist. This is no hardship for the husband, if he be a true lover. For is he not strong, and what is his strength for but to delight his sweetheart? _A true, devoted, virile and manly lover is always at the service of his sweetheart! To delight her, is to doubly delight himself_. This is another point of which mere animals know nothing. There is nothing in all their nature which responds to the like of this, in any way. The whole experience is _human_; it is productive of a joy, of a _spiritual elevation_, which mere animality knows nothing of--can know nothing of.
Playing thus together, courting each other thus (For, through all these actions, a line of _complete mutualness must run_! The husband may _seem_ to be specially accommodating himself, and all he does, to his wife's whims or necessities; but, even so, this will be more of a delight to _him_ than it is to _her_, viewed from the _spiritual plane_, on the principle that "it is more blessed to give than to receive"--and no truer words than these were ever spoken--while, at the same time, the wife, though _seeming_ only to be gratifying herself, to be reaching after what she alone desires, yet, as a matter of fact, by her very so doing--and the more perfectly, completely, she does this, the better--she is gratifying and delighting her husband to the utmost possible limit) courting each other thus, the lovers will learn to "time" themselves together, perfectly, each knowing just when the other is fully ready, by a sort of _spiritual consciousness_, as it were, and so a perfect climax can be reached.
Take time, LET LOVE RULE AND DIRECT; BANISH ALL SELFISHNESS; _Let the husband keep his head, and_ THE WIFE UTTERLY LOSE HERS, throwing it to the winds, to be wholly swept away by the whirlwind of her passion; feeling free, delighting, to let it go, go, go, no one cares where! Do these things, and married life will be glorious! Of such is the kingdom of heaven, for the truly wedded lovers!
This will be "all Greek," or "foolishness" to the selfish and materially-minded; but to the truly wise, it will be _life immeasurable_. This is a paradox, but it takes a paradox to tell the greatest truths!
So much for the act of coitus in the man-superior position, when the wife is slower timed than the husband and they adopt this method, and the accompanying means for "getting together." Now, if the other position is taken, that of the wife semi-superior, in the husband's arms, as he lies partly on his back and partly on his left side, etc., here are a few points to be noted to advantage.
Still assuming that the wife is the slower-timed of the two, it is entirely possible that when she has "come over" and has gotten into position, that she may not yet be fully ready for the union of the organs. The very time that it takes for her to get into position, the changing of the position of her body, from her back to her right side; the temporary cessation of the stroking of the vulva by her husbands's [sic] fingers; all these things will have a tendency to retard her passion, for the time being, and all this loss ought to be made good, if not added to, before the _second_ part of the act is entered upon. And, in this position, all this can most happily be brought about, as follows:--
Lying in each other's arms, in this _second_ described position, the organs naturally _come_ into contact in such a way as to make the further excitation of the vulva and clitoris most natural and easy. The spreading of the wife's hips, caused by her throwing her left leg over her husband's right and drawing up of her left knee, opens the vulva wide; and, at the same time, the penis, from the very nature of its position, will lie at full length in the opening, thus exposed--not entering the vagina, but remaining "without the gate" as yet.
By this time the vulva will have become enlarged and elongated, the lips full and the clitoris erect, all in a state of tumescence, and all covered with the pre-coital fluid; the lips so distended that, when thus parted, they form the sides of a labial canal, as it were (a delectable, and most delicately smooth-walled channel). Now, in this extended condition, which is fully as long as the penis, from end to end of its pathway of dalliance, every part covered with the most delicately sensitive nerve-filaments, and all of these in an ecstasy of keenness to the sense of touch, and in the most perfect of "love's strolling way,"--if the penis, as it were, stands up full and strong, in such fashion that it touches the vulva at every point, both inner and outer labiae, the clitoris and all, for a space of five or six inches in length; while the protruded and well-moistened lips of the vulva as it were reach out, and clasp themselves at least half way around their suitor, laving him with their luscious kisses--in this position, the wife being partly above, and so, perfectly free to move her "love way" as she will, she can slide the pathway itself a full six or more inches, up and down, stroking all the area against the penis as she moves; that, again, by its very position, being held firmly in contact by its stiffness and stoutness; the glans penis throbbing lustily against the clitoris when the two meet at the extreme of the wife's up-stroke; she, pausing an instant, just then, to more perfectly enjoy the sensation; the penis slipping past the now wide open vaginal mouth, which reaches out at every down stroke to engulf it--dallying, delaying, coquetting, tantalizing, both man and woman; playing the game in almost a swoon of ecstatic delight--under such conditions the wife's passion will rush to its fullest development, till, when she will, she can drop her vagina upon the penis in such a way that the _two will be made one_, in absolute perfection, on a single move, and from this to the finish it is but a few motions distant.
In some respects this manner of coitus, and this means of "going off together" is unsurpassed.
Which leads to the remark that this position is sometimes the best for the full completion of the act. It is the easiest of all positions, the least fatiguing. And if the wife is tired, or not quite "up to grade," she can enjoy an embrace of this sort without fatigue, even to the full. For the organs can be united in this position quite perfectly, though the penis will not penetrate the vagina to as great a length as in the other position. Still, the climax can be perfectly reached in this way, and it is one of the best ways to make sure of perfect "timing," of "spending" exactly together, which is greatly in its favor.
If there is a mis-matching of the organs, the vagina of the wife being too short for her husband's penis, this is a most excellent way for meeting and overcoming that difficulty.
This naturally leads to another matter, as follows:--It might seem to the reader that the different "strokings" of the vulva, with the fingers, or the penis, all the contact being outside the vagina, that all of these methods of excitation smack of masturbation, and so are of doubtful rightness. In reply to which, note the following:
The entire affair of coition, in humanity, has already been shown to be something wholly above and beyond mere animality. It is the exercise of functions that belong _only to mankind_, and hence is not amenable to _any_ merely _animal_ laws or restrictions! It is the source of numberless human joys, and _any_ method of engaging in the act of mutual delight, that is, of _mutually happifying_, is legitimate and _altogether right_. And so, if the parties choose to increase their mutual delight, if the husband wishes to arouse and intensify his wife's passion by stroking her vulva with his saliva-moistened fingers, and _she wishes him to do so_, such act is as right and as wholesome as is coitus in the by-some-supposed-to-be _only_ way of its exercise. Let this never be doubted.
The fact is, this whole matter of sexual excitation by means of the hand, or in other ways than the union of the organs, has received a black eye at the hands of would be purists, which it in no way deserves. As already noted, the word masturbation has been fastened to such acts, and then, any and every form of it has been condemned far beyond what the facts warrant, till the minds of the rank and file are wholly misled in the premises! When one looks at the situation from the point of view which insists that _all_ the sex functions should be under the control of the _will_, then light is thrown upon the entire subject. Seen in this way, _any_ form of sex stimulation, or auto-erotism even (auto-erotism means _self_ sex-excitation) which is NOT CARRIED TO EXCESS, is _right_ and _wholesome_! But we have been taught the contrary of this for so long that it is difficult for us to realize that it is true. _But it is_!
Hence, if it should sometimes happen that the husband should arrive at the climax before the wife does, and he could not bring her to an orgasm by excitation with his spent penis, it would be _perfectly right for him to substitute his fingers, and satisfy her in that way_. Of course, this would not be as satisfying to her as it would have been could she have met him simultaneously, but it is _far better than for her not to be entirely gratified! Many a woman_ SUFFERS ALL NIGHT LONG _with unsatisfied desire, her organs congested and tumescent, because she has been left_ UNSATISFIED _by a husband who has spent before she was ready_, AND THEN LEFT HER! Such cases might be _entirely relieved_, if the parties _knew the truth_, and were not too _ignorant_, or _prejudiced_, or _ashamed_ to do what should be done to make the best of a situation.
Of course, no husband should make a _practice_ of gratifying himself fully, and then bringing his wife to the climax with his fingers. Such a practice would be _selfish_ and _wrong_. But as an _emergency_ way of escape, the method is to be commended.
Of course, as has already been explained, the husband always has the advantage, that he can be brought to the orgasm by the insertion of the penis into the vagina, _after_ his wife has spent, if she arrives first, since her organs detumesce slowly, and their distended condition permits such action on his part, for some time after she has passed the climax. But not so with the husband. Once spent, his penis shrinks to limpness, almost immediately, and in this condition it cannot satisfy the wife in the least, much less bring her to an orgasm.
Again, if, for any reason, the wife should be unable to meet her husband in coitus proper, because of weakness, or slight illness, or perhaps some temporary soreness of the parts, it would help the situation wonderfully if _she_ would take _his_ penis in _her_ hand and "play with it" till he _spent_. He would love her for it, kiss her for it, give her his soul for it!
_If a bride and bridegroom knew enough to introduce each other to the delights of an orgasm by "spending" each other by external excitation of the organs with their hands a few times before they united the organs at all, it would be to their lasting well being. This is especially true for the bride_. If her lover would take her in his arms, even with all her clothes on, as she sat on his lap, in their bridal chamber, alone, and stroke her vulva till she "_spent,_" the chances are many to one that he would have introduced her to such a joy that she would never forget it, all her life. Surely, such method is _infinitely superior_ to _raping_ a bride, as is so frequently done by the ignorant or goody-good young husband, who "stands upon his _rights_!"
Indeed, if a bride to be, who was so innocent or ignorant of her own sex possibilities that she had never experienced an orgasm--had never "spent"--could be "put wise" before her bridal-night, if she could be instructed enough to lead her to engage in some form of auto-erotism, bringing herself to an orgasm with her own hand, _just for the sake of the experience it would give her, and so that she would have some clear idea of what she really wanted, before she went into the arms of her lover--if she could do this, in the right mental attitude, it would be greatly to her well-being, a worthy and valuable addition to her stock of knowledge of herself and of the powers that are latent within her. Her alleged loss of innocence by such act would be as nothing compared with the wisdom she would gain by the experience. When innocence leads to harmful results, it is time it was ended, and that knowledge takes its place!_
As for the husband, the chances are not one in a million that he will be ignorant of what an orgasm is like before he marries, since all healthy young men "spend" at least once a week, automatically, if not otherwise!