Part 11
_They murmur thanks, and PATRICK shakes hands with PAUL._
DAN. Is that all you want with me, fader?
DEEGAN. That’s all at present. For once in your life you have done me a small service.
DAN. Well, I’m going to hide in here again.
_DENIS M’GOTHIGAN comes in fuming._
DENIS. Now I want no colyfoxin’! My daughter’s in this house somewhere, and I mean to find her.... [_To DAN_] Where’s my Rose?
DAN. The Lord knows that, Denis, amen.... I hain’t seen her this six weeks.
_ROSE comes from the cupboard crying._
PAUL. Now, Dan! Let the whole world see whether you’re good enough to tie Rose M’Gothigan’s shoestrings. That blackthorn in your hand is not solely for ornamentation.
DAN [_rushes beside ROSE and draws the blackthorn_]. I’m in flames, but I’ll defend my own Rose to the death! I’ll have to fight the Blacks and Red Indians in Philadelphy, and I may as well practise a bit at home.... Now, Denis, I daar you!
PAUL [_with a loud laugh_]. Emancipated! Behold Dan Deegan emancipated!
DENIS. I’ll not leave this house till Rose comes home ... and I’ll give her a wiggin’ when she comes.... [_Sits down._]
DEEGAN. Paul Twyning, will you give Mr. O’Hagan and me a word in private?
PAUL. I will not. There has been far too much privacy and duplicity already. I’ll answer your questions here and now, or not at all.
DEEGAN. Well, I’m not very clear as to your plans.
PAUL. I can soon clear the air. Daisy and I are going to settle with the bank. When we get that done she’ll want me to go with her to a lawyer to frame up a case aginst Mr. Deegan. But I’ll turn on my heel and say, “Begone, adventuress! Paul Twyning is not a blackmailer!”
_The DEEGANS applaud._
DENIS. Yaha, yaha!
PAUL. What are you “yahaing” about, Denis?
DENIS. At your honesty. What else?
PAUL. Now I knocked the hat off before, Denis, but I’ll knock the head off this time! [_Severely_] You’re an impudent little wart and ill-set. If you were man’s size I’d clout you one. If you articulate again, I’ll give you a bloody mouth.
PATRICK. Ould Dublin on the Liffey, by Mozes! Would fight with his own shadow.... Go on, Paul.
PAUL. And now for my own terms.
DEEGAN. Oh!
PAUL. Why do you ejaculate? As a man of the world, you didn’t expect a stranger to cultivate wrinkles over your affairs for nothing, did you?
DEEGAN. I expect nothing for nothing. Name your terms.
PAUL. Twenty pounds sterling. I want to hit Chicago a clout.
DEEGAN. Not unreasonable. I’ll do better, Paul. I’ll give you ten pounds and Daniel’s ticket and portmanteau....
DAN [_wildly_]. Flames! am I not for the water?
DEEGAN. Silence, boy!... Mr. O’Hagan, has Daisy Mullan a case against me for breach of contract?
O’HAGAN. She has. Once she settles with the bank she has a very good case indeed. But without Paul Twyning’s evidence her case falls down.
PAUL. My sowl, with Dan’s ocean ticket and ten pounds in my fob, she’ll have some fun serving me with a summons.
_The DEEGANS applaud._
DEEGAN. Paul Twyning, you are a man of ripe understanding. If you were in my shoes how would you meet this case?
PAUL. I’d sign the pub. over to Patrick and the farm to my son Daniel, the said Patrick to pay me a small yearly rent, and the said Daniel to pay me a pound a week for life, with the use of the grey mare and trap on Sundays, market-days and Court days.
DEEGAN. Paul Twyning, you are a gifted man.... Patrick and Daniel, would that settlement content you?
PATRICK. God bliss you, father. I’d never taste it again.
MRS. DEEGAN. It’s more than we desarve, granda.
DEEGAN [_to DAN_]. And what do you say, boy?
DAN [_lamely_]. Rose and me would be good to you, fader.... You could do all the plannin’, and we’d do the work.... Rose can milk cows and feed pigs and keep a house clean.
DEEGAN. That’s a wise answer, boy. I’ll speak to the priest myself, and you’ll be married in three days.
DENIS. She’ll not come empty-handed. I’ll give her thirty pound and the spotted cow.
DEEGAN. We neither want your spotted cow, nor your money, nor your friendship.
PAUL. Here! Mr. Deegan, let yourself and Denis shake hands. Dammit alive, life’s too short to quarrel, and it’s disedifying to see two good neighbours--the backbone of the parish--at loggerheads.
DEEGAN. Denis has heard what I said. If he wishes, after that, to shake hands, I have no objection.
DENIS. And you heard what I said, too [_shaking hands with OLD DEEGAN_]. I’ll speak out my mind, James Deegan. I’ve been trying and trying these thirty years past to get a good strong lawshoot agen you, but you always wriggled out one way or other, and you’ve tricked me agen.
DEEGAN. If I were a bit younger, Denis, I’d have met you in the Four Courts on this case; but I’ve beaten you at home.
DENIS. I admit. But if ever I get a chance at Dan....
PAUL. Ah, quit talking, Denis.... You rural people are the devil for law. You’d try to get a writ on a rabbit, for trespass.
DAN. Come on, Rose, till I show you the big house.... I’m in flames, but this is a miracle. [_He takes ROSE into the room._]
PATRICK [_to MRS. DEEGAN_]. Come on, Janey, till we get a look at the house, too. As Dan says, it’s a miracle. It is, by Mozes!
_PATRICK and MRS. DEEGAN go into the room. DAISY comes in flashily dressed._
DAISY. Denis M’Gothigan here! Some more plotting? Some more crooked work, eh?
PAUL. Mr. Deegan has just settled Dan’s breach case, Miss Mullan, and I hope he’ll settle his own in due coorse.
DAISY. That’s up to himself. I don’t want no law, but I ain’t no softy. If Mr. Deegan wants a peaceable settlement, I’m quite ready to discuss.... I’ve figured up your assets, James Deegan, and reckon you’re worth about five thousand pounds. Don’t you think two thousand of that’s doo me for breach of contract?
DEEGAN. I’ll have to consult my lawyer about that.
DAISY. Waal, mind, I ain’t coming back here with my finger in my mouth to sue for terms. If you don’t want a settlement, say so, and I’ll see a lawyer in town.
O’HAGAN [_rising_]. Mr. Deegan, I want two words with you. Come outside.
_OLD DEEGAN and O’HAGAN go out back._
DENIS [_rising_]. Faith, I’ll come with you. I want a drink at the pump. [_He goes out back._]
DAISY. Paul Twyning, what game are you playing? You’ve kept me guessing all along the line. What are you up to?
PAUL. Now for my own Waterloo!... I meant to unfold my story on the way to town, Daisy, but I can as well unfold myself here.... I want your sweet self, Daisy.
DAISY. Whaaaaat!
PAUL. I’ve travelled Ireland, England, and parts of Scotland, but you’re the first woman I’ve encountered with even a suggestion of brains. Before I say another word, Daisy, let me ask you a question. What do you think of Paul Twyning’s intellectual equipment?
DAISY. I think you got that roll of money.
PAUL. My life on you! The money is here. [_Shows her the roll of money._] Five hundred and ninety-nine pounds sterling. But the bank will never thumb it. Ould Deegan can pay the bank at his leisure. After his long reign of tyranny, a little touch of humility will do him good.... So what do you say, my honey, if we spend this rowl together?
DAISY. Do you care for me, Paul?
PAUL. If there is true love on earth, Daisy, I’ve found it. The first time I heard your sweet voice was at M’Gothigan’s barn-dance and I kicked off a year every time you spoke.
DAISY. And would you come to America, Paul?
PAUL. The dream of my life has been to salute the statue of Liberty in New York harbour.
DAISY. But what security have I that you mean a square deal?
PAUL. I can give substantial bail for my good behaviour. [_Offers her the roll of notes._] Put that in your vanity-bag, dearest.
DAISY. No, sweetheart. You hang on to it yourself.... You’re a nice feller, and look good to me.... Kiss my hand.
PAUL. I’m glad to see you’re affectionate. [_Kisses her hand._] We’ll pay Dublin a quiet visit, till this blows over, and then, as Dan says, “the raging main.”
DAISY. My cousin Darby’s going to drive us in. I can pick up my suit-case at the house, passing.
PAUL. Beautiful! We just have nice time to catch the last train ... and Darby will drive home empty.
_OLD DEEGAN, O’HAGAN and DENIS come in._
O’HAGAN. Miss Mullan, when you settle with the bank will you come right back here? I’ll wait here for you. And we’ll have our offer prepared.... It won’t be ungenerous.
DAISY. Waal, we’ll see. I’ll come right back.... Paul Twyning, are you ready?
PAUL. One moment. I want to see Dan. I want the loan of his shower-proof, for I can’t interview bankers in this raiment.... [_He goes into the room._]
DAISY. I believe you folks have got the soft side of Paul Twyning, I do.
O’HAGAN. You are mistaken. There’s no soft side to Paul Twyning.
DAISY. Waal, I’m going to settle with the bank. [_Taps her bag._] The money is here.... Not the money was stolen, but other money. And mind, I expect a square deal when I come back.
DEEGAN. And you’ll get it.
_PAUL comes from the room, wearing DAN’S new coat and hat._
PAUL. Mr. Deegan, could you oblige me in a loan of ten pounds?
DEEGAN. Oh, I think so. [_Gives him the money._]
PAUL. I may need this and I may not, but it’s always well to have it.... Now, Miss Mullan, is your equipage ready?
DEEGAN. Darby Mullan has his car at the gate.
DAISY. Does anyone want to come to town?
O’HAGAN. No, thanks. We all stay here till you come back.
PAUL. Well, good-bye for the present.... You won’t have long to wait.
_PAUL and DAISY go out. PATRICK, DAN, MRS. DEEGAN and ROSE come from the room._
PATRICK. Are they away, father?
OLD DEEGAN. They’re off.... And in fifty years’ experience I’ve never been as near beaten.... But all has turned out well in the end.... Mr. O’Hagan has the agreements in his bag. I have no property now in the world. You have the public-house, Patrick, and you, Daniel, have the farm and Rose.... Let Daisy Mullan come back and do her worst....
_O’HAGAN takes out agreements and DEEGAN signs._
DAN. Just if her and Twyning ever comes back, fader....
DEEGAN. What do you mean, sir? Of course they’re coming back....
DAN [_looks out the window_]. I’m in flames, but I’ve my own notion about them coming back! The car’s stopped at Mullan’s, getting out shoot-cases....
DEEGAN. She wants to show off with her American trappings.
DAN. I’m in flames, but all’s not right! They’re away galloping down the road and laughing like mad....
DEEGAN. They’ll not laugh so much when they come back and hear my offer....
PATRICK _and_ MRS. DEEGAN. Ay, when they come back!
DAN. I’m in flames, Paul’s kissing the ould Yankee like a steam-engine.... And she’s letting him.... [_Turns from the window._] Honest to God, amen, fader, I believe Paul and ould Daisy ’ill never be....
DEEGAN. Will never what, sir?
DAN. Oh, nothing, fader. Of course you know best. You’re a highly educated man.... And anyway, Paul or no Paul, Daisy or no Daisy, I’ve got my Rose. Amen.
_He puts his arm round her as the Curtain falls._
THE END
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Illustration: The Westminster Press logo]
The Westminster Press 411a Harrow Road London W.9
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Transcriber’s Notes
This file uses _underscores_ to indicate italic text. Line spacing around stage directions, and the capitalisation of names within stage directions, have been standardised in this edition. Other changes from the printed original:
• p. 19: Replaced “find” with “fine” in line “We’ve a fine hall door, sir.” • p. 30: Replaced “Am’t” with “Amn’t” in line “Amn’t I a hero?” • p. 39: Replaced “bag-gate” with “baggage” in line “Have I no personal baggage at all?” • p. 43: Removed blank line after line “I can crawl back the road I come.” • p. 82: Added period after scene description “His valise is lying on the floor.” • p. 94: Added comma to line “I’ll put off this jacket, I’m warm.” • p. 39: Added hyphen to “conversation-lozenger” in line “And didn’t you slip her a conversation-lozenger....” • p. 182: Replaced “is’nt” with “isn’t” in line “It’s just as well for you it isn’t the Four Courts.”
New original cover art included with this eBook is granted to the public domain.