Part 14

Thus by the Confession of a Crime I never dreamt of, I chang’d the Punishment of Death for a perpetual Captivity. My Diploma of Nobility was taken from me, and torn in Pieces by the Hands of the common Hangman, and I myself was condemn’d to be a Galley-Slave all my Days. The Galley, or Vessel, I was sent to work in, belong’d to the Government, and lay in Readiness for its Voyage to the _Mezendores_, or Land of Wonders. This Voyage is undertaken at a stated Time of the Year, namely, in the Month _Radir_. They sail to these Parts in Quest of such Commodities as are not to be had in their own Country, so that the _Mezendores_ are a Kind of _Indies_ to the _Martinians_. A Body of Merchants, as well Nobles as Citizens, are erected into a Society called the _Mezendorian Company_, among whom the Merchandise of the returning Vessel is divided, according to their several Subscriptions and Shares. The Vessel moves both by Sails and Oars, and to every Oar two Slaves or Captives are assign’d: And to this Drudgery was I condemn’d during this Voyage. With what Reluctance I enter’d upon it, it is easy to guess, especially as I had done nothing to deserve being thus expos’d to servile Labour, and to the Lash, among Wretches and Slaves. Various were the Sentiments of the _Martinians_ concerning my Misfortune. Some were of Opinion I was culpable, and therefore deserv’d the Punishment; but then the Sight of me in that miserable Condition drew Compassion from them. Others thought some Regard ought to have been had to my former Services, and that therefore my Punishment need not have been so severe. But some of the honester Monkeys mutter’d among themselves that I was accus’d falsely, though no one dar’d openly undertake my Defence, through Fear of my powerful Accusers. I determin’d, however, to bear my Calamity with Patience. My greatest Comfort was the approaching Voyage; for as I had always a strong Passion for Novelty, I was in Hopes of meeting with something new and wonderful, though I could not give Credit to all the Sailors told me, nor bring myself to think that there were such Prodigies in Nature, as I afterwards met with. There were several Interpreters in our Vessel, whose Assistance the _Mezendorian Company_ made use of in these Expeditions; for all Contracts, as to Buying and Selling, were made by them.

CHAP. XI.

_The Author’s Voyage to the_ +Land+ of WONDERS.

Before I proceed to the Description of this Voyage, I must caution the rigid and censorious Critick not to be too much out of Humour at the Relation of some Things which perhaps may appear not to deserve any Credit, as being contrary to the usual Course of Nature. I shall here recount Things very incredible, but very true, and of which I myself was an Eye-Witness. The Vulgar and Illiterate, who never have set a Foot beyond the Limits of their own native Country, are apt to look upon all such Things as fabulous to which they have not been accustom’d from their Infancy. But the Learned, and especially such of them as are conversant in physical Enquiries, who know how fertile Nature is in her Productions, will look with a more favourable Eye upon the wonderful Parts of this Narration.

_Quis tumidum guttur miratur in Alpibus? aut quis In Meröe crasso majorem infante mamillam_, &c.

It is now well known, that there were a People formerly in _Scythia_, called _Arimaspians_, who had only a single Eye apiece in the Middle of their Foreheads; and others in the same Parts of the World, whose Feet were set on the contrary Way to ours. We read of People in _Albania_, who were grey-headed from their Childhood. The _Sauromatians_ us’d to make a Meal but once in three Days, and to fast the intermediate ones. Mention is made of certain Families in _Africa_, who had the Art of fascinating or bewitching People with the Sound of their Voices. The Inhabitants of _Illyrium_ were remarkable for having two Pupils in each Eye, and us’d, when they were provok’d, to stare their Enemies to Death. In the Mountains of _India_, there are some Men with Dogs Heads, and who have been heard to bark like those Animals; others, with Eyes in their Shoulders. And in the farthest Parts of the same Country, there have been found Animals resembling Men, with hairy Bodies, and Wings like Birds, who never eat, but live upon the Scent of Flowers, which they draw through their Nostrils. Now I may ask, Who would have given Credit to these, and the like Things, if _Pliny_, a very grave Historian, had not solemnly affirm’d, not that he had heard or read of such Things, but that he himself had seen them? In like Manner, who would ever have thought that the Earth was hollow, and that another Sun, and other Planets, were contain’d within its Bowels, had not my own Experience clear’d up that Mystery? Or how could an Account of a World, inhabited by Trees endued with Reason, and a Power of local Motion, have ever gain’d Belief, had not my Discoveries prov’d the Existence of it beyond a Possibility of Doubt. I am not inclin’d, however, to quarrel with any Man for his Incredulity, since I must confess, that before I undertook this Voyage, I was a little in doubt myself, whether the Relations of Travellers in general were any Thing better than pompous Fables, and insignificant Amusements.

It was in the Beginning of the Month _Radir_ that we set Sail. We had a fair Wind for some Days, and our Vessel sailing right before it, we had no Occasion to handle our Oars, and were therefore at Liberty to divert ourselves. But on the fourth Day the Wind sunk, and we were forc’d to take to our Oars. The Captain perceiving I was unaccustom’d to such hard Labour, and unfit to bear it, would often give me Leave to rest a while, and at length he entirely freed me from this servile Office. Whether he thought me innocent, and therefore shew’d me so much Kindness, or whether he judg’d me worthy of better Treatment on Account of the curious Invention of Perriwigs, which I had the Honour of, as I have before related, I cannot take upon me to determine. I must however observe, that he carry’d three Wigs along with him this Voyage, the Combing and Buckling of which was committed to my Charge. So that I was on a sudden advanc’d from being a Galley-Slave, to the Dignity of the Captain’s Wig-Dresser. This Civility of the Captain’s to me was the Reason that as often as we arriv’d at any Port, I was always one of the Number who were appointed to go on Shore. This was extremely agreeable to me, as it gave me an Opportunity of fully satisfying my Curiosity.

We kept on our Course for some Time without meeting with any Thing remarkable; but after we had lost Sight of Land we fell among the _Syrens_, who as often as the Wind abated, and the Sea grew calm, would swim to the Ship, and beg our Charity. The Language they spoke resembled the _Martinese_, so that some of our Ship’s Crew were able to talk with them without the Help of an Interpreter. One of the Number, after I had given her a Piece of Meat, fixing her Eyes stedfastly upon me, cry’d out,

Hero! proceed, and rule a conquer’d World!

I only smil’d at the Prophecy, as thinking it an empty Piece of Flattery, though our Sailors assur’d me very seriously, that these Syrens were seldom or never out in their Predictions. We had been under Sail about eight Days when we discovered Land, which the Mariners call’d _Picardania_. As we were entring the Harbour, we saw a Jack-Daw hovering about us, who upon Enquiry I found to be a Person of great Dignity, and at that Time Inspector-General of the Customs. I could scarce refrain from laughing, when I heard that an Office of so great Trust was committed to a Jack-Daw, and from the Appearance of their Chief, I conjectur’d, that Wasps and Hornets must be the Tide-Waiters and Custom-House Officers. After this Bird had flown two or three Times round the Ship, he made for the Shore again, and presently after return’d with three other Daws, and alighted upon the Fore-castle. I was ready to burst with laughing, when I saw one of our Interpreters approach these Birds with a profound Respect, and immediately enter into a long Conversation with them. The Reason of their coming, was to inspect what Merchandise we had on board, it being their Business to enquire, whether we had any contraband Goods, and particularly any of the Herb commonly call’d _Slac_. It is very common for these Creatures to search every Corner of the Ship, and to unpack every Bale of Goods, to see if they can discover any of this Herb, the Importation of which is prohibited by the Magistrate, under a very severe Penalty. The Inhabitants barter several Sorts of Commodities, which are very useful and necessary towards the Support of Life, in Exchange for this Herb; from whence it happens, that the Plants which grow in _Picardania_, though every whit as good as this, are held in no Esteem. The _Picardanians_ in this resemble the _Europeans_, who are often fond of Things for no other Reason, but because they are fetch’d from remote Countries, and grow in foreign Soils. The Inspector, after he had had a long Conference with our Interpreters, went down into the Hold with the rest of his Companions, and returning soon after, with an angry Countenance declar’d, that he forbad us trading with the _Picardanians_, because we had acted contrary to the Faith of Treaties, in importing prohibited Goods. But the Captain, who knew by Experience how to mitigate the Officer’s Anger, presented him immediately with a few Pounds of _Slac_, upon which his Anger subsided, and he gave us Leave to unload our Cargo. As soon as this was over, a vast Flock of Daws came fluttering about us. These were all Merchants, who came to traffick. The Captain intending to go ashore, order’d me, and some others, to accompany him. Accordingly four in Number of us left the Ship, namely, the Captain, myself, and two other Monkeys, to wit, our Supercargo and Interpreter. We were invited to Dinner by the Inspector-General. The Inhabitants have no Tables, as not making any Use of Chairs, for which Reason the Cloth was laid in the Middle of the Floor. A most delicate and magnificent Repast was presently serv’d up, but in very small Dishes: And as the Kitchen was at the Top of the House, each Dish was brought in supported by two Pair of Jack-Daws, as if it descended from the Clouds. After Dinner the Officer took us along with him, to shew us his Library. There was a vast Collection of Books, but of a mighty small Size, the largest Folios being scarce so big as one of our Primmers. I had much ado to withhold laughing when I saw the Librarian fly up to the Top-Shelves to fetch down some of the Octavos and Duodecimos. The Houses of the _Picardanians_ are very little different from ours, as to the Building, and the Disposition of the Apartments; but the Bed-Chambers are suspended just beneath the Roof, after the Manner of Birds-Nests. It may be ask’d, perhaps, how it is possible for Daws, (who are reckon’d amongst the Birds _Minorum gentium_) to build Houses of such a Magnitude? But it was evident, from a House which was then building from the Ground, that the Thing was very possible; for several thousand Labourers were employ’d about it at the same Time; so that what was wanting in Strength was supply’d by Numbers, and by the Agility with which they flew about their Work. For this Reason they will finish a House almost as quickly as our Bricklayers can. The Inspector’s Lady did not appear at Table, by reason of her Lying-in; for at such Times the Mother never stirs out as long as her little ones are callow, but as soon as ever they begin to be fledg’d, her Husband gives her Leave to go abroad. We did not stay long in this Country, for which Reason I can say nothing as to the Government thereof, or the Manners and Customs of the Inhabitants. Every Thing was in great Confusion at that Time, on Account of a War which was just then broke out between the _Daws_ and their Neighbours the _Thrushes_, especially as News was brought the Day after our Arrival, that a great Battle had been fought in the Air, in which the Daws were entirely routed. The General was afterwards try’d by a Court-Martial, and sentenc’d to have his Wings clipt, which is look’d upon as a very heavy Punishment in this Country, and very little different from what is inflicted for capital Offences. After we had dispos’d of the Cargo, we set Sail from thence. At a little Distance from the Shore, we saw great Quantities of Feathers floating about upon the Water, and from thence conjectur’d, that it was the Spot where the late Battle had been fought.

After a prosperous Voyage, which lasted only three Days, we arriv’d upon the Coast of _Crotchet-Island_. We immediately came to an Anchor, and went on Shore, preceded by an Interpreter, who carry’d that Sort of musical Instrument along with him, which is generally call’d a _Base_. This Ceremony appear’d very ridiculous to me, as I could not comprehend for what Reason he should load himself with such an useless Burden. As the Coasts seem’d to be deserted, and there was no Appearance of any living Creature, the Captain order’d our Interpreter to play a March, to give Notice of our Coming. Upon this about thirty musical Instruments, or Bases, with one Leg, came hopping towards us. I thought at first, that what I saw was all Inchantment, as I never, in all my Travels, met with any Thing so wonderful. The Make of these Bases, whom I afterwards found to be the Inhabitants of the Country, was as follows: Their Necks were pretty long, with little Heads upon them; their Bodies were slender, and cover’d with a smooth Kind of Bark or Rind, in such a Manner, as that a pretty large Vacuity was left between the Rind and the Body itself. A little above the Navel, Nature had plac’d a Sort of Bridge with four Strings. The whole Machine rested upon one Foot, so that their Motion was like that of Hopping, which they perform’d with wonderful Agility. In short one would have took them for real Bases, from their Similitude to that Instrument, had it not been for their Hands and Arms, which were in every Respect like our own. One of these Hands was employ’d in holding the Bow, as the other was in stopping the Strings. Our Interpreter begun the Conference, by taking up the Instrument he had brought with him, and playing a slow Strain.

_Sustinet a lævâ, tenuit manus altera plectrum, Artificis status ipse fuit: Tum stamina docto Pollice sollicitat._

An Answer was presently return’d him in the same Strain, and thus they went on warbling their Thoughts to one another for a considerable Time. Their Conversation began with an _Adagio_, which I cannot but say had a good deal of Harmony in it, but it soon slid into Discords which were very grating to the Ear. The Conference ended with an harmonious and delightful _Præsto_. Upon hearing this last our Men were exceedingly pleas’d, since it was a Token, as they told me, that the Price of their Cargo was agreed upon. I was afterward inform’d, that the slow Musick in the Beginning was only a Prelude to the Discourse, and was employ’d in mutual Compliments on both Sides: But that when we heard the Discords they were disputing about the Price of our Commodities, and that the _Præsto_ in the Conclusion signify’d that the Business was happily determin’d. Accordingly a little while after we unloaded the Ship. The Commodity for which there is the greatest Demand in this Country is Rosin, with which the Inhabitants rub their Bows, which are their Instruments of Speech. Such as are convicted of any great Crime in this Country, are generally sentenc’d by the Judge to be depriv’d of their Bows; and a perpetual Privation of the Bow is equal to capital Punishment amongst us. As I understood there was to be a final Hearing of a Law-Suit in a neighbouring Court of Justice, while I staid there, my Curiosity prompted me to hear some of their musical Law-Proceedings. The Council, instead of making a Speech, mov’d their Bows, and play’d each of them a Kind of Tune. So long as the Pleadings lasted, I could distinguish nothing but dissonant and jarring Sounds; for all the Eloquence of the Bar consists in the Loudness of their Notes, and the quick Motion of their Hands. After the Hearing was over, the Judge rising slowly from the Bench, and taking up his Bow, gave the Court an _Adagio_, which is the same Thing as pronouncing Sentence. For as soon as he had made an End, the Executioners advanc’d directly to the Criminal, to take away his Bow. The Boys in this Country resemble that Kind of Instrument, which in our Parts of the World we call a _Kitt_. They are never suffer’d to handle a Bow till they are three Years old. Upon their Entrance into their fourth Year they are sent to School to learn their Gamut, from Masters appointed for that Purpose, as Children in _Europe_ are, to learn their Alphabet. They are kept under the Discipline of the Ferula till they are able to play thoroughly in Tune, and to give their Instruments a clear and distinct Expression. We were very much molested by these Boys during our Stay there, as they were perpetually teazing us with their scraping. Our Interpreter, who had a very good Hand himself, and perfectly understood the Language, told us, that the only Meaning of this Musick was to beg a little Rosin of us. They begg’d in a whining Tone of the _Adagio_ Kind, but as soon as ever they had got what they wanted, they run into the _Allegro_, or Jig-Time, which was their Method of returning Thanks. However, a Repulse would at any Time spoil all their Musick.

Having dispatch’d our Affairs to our Satisfaction, we left this Place about the Month _Cusan_, and after a Voyage of a few Days came in Sight of another Coast. Our Crew guess’d it to be _Pyglossia_, from the fœtid Smell which came from thence. The Inhabitants of this Country are not unlike human Creatures, except in one Particular, which is the Want of Mouths. This lays them under a Necessity of speaking a _posteriori_, if I may be allow’d the Phrase. The first Person who came aboard our Ship was a wealthy Merchant. He very civilly saluted us from behind, according to the Custom of the Country, and then began to talk with us about the Price of our Goods. The Barber belonging to our Ship, to my great Misfortune, was at that Time sick; for which Reason I was oblig’d to make use of a _Pyglossian_ Barber. The People of this Profession are more talkative, if possible, in this Country, than they are in _Europe_; so that whilst he was shaving me, he left such a horrid Stench behind him in the Cabin, that we were oblig’d to burn great Quantities of Incense to sweeten it again after his Departure. I was so accustom’d to see strange Things, and such as were contrary to the usual Course of Nature, that nothing now appear’d surprizing to me. As the Conversation of the _Pyglossians_ was disagreeable and offensive, by reason of this natural Imperfection, we were willing to get away from thence as soon as possible, and therefore weigh’d Anchor before the Time we had appointed. We hasten’d our Departure the more on Account of our being invited to Supper by one of the principal Inhabitants. We all shrugg’d up our Shoulders at this Invitation, and nobody would accept of it, but upon Condition that a general Silence should be observ’d all Supper-Time. As we were going out of the Harbour, the _Pyglossians_ crouded to the Shore to wish us a good Voyage; but as the Wind blew directly from the Land, we made all the Signs we could, by nodding our Heads, and waving our Hands, to let them know we would excuse their Compliments. I could not help reflecting, upon this Occasion, how very troublesome a Man may prove by striving to be over-complaisant. The chief Trade of the _Martinians_ to this Country, consists in Rose-Water, and divers Kinds of Spices and Perfumes. We steer’d our Course from hence to _Iceland_, a Country the most horrid, desert, and inhospitable, that ever my Eyes beheld. Hardly any Thing is to be seen, but Mountains continually cover’d over with Snow. The Inhabitants, who are all made of Ice, are dispers’d here and there amongst the Tops of the Hills, in Places where the Sun never comes. For all between the Summits of the Mountains, to speak poetically, is bound up in eternal Frost. On this Account likewise it is perpetually dark here, or if there is any Light, it is only what proceeds from the Glittering of the Hoar-Frost. But the Valleys which lie between these Hills of Snow are (full as miraculously) scorch’d with Heat, and burnt up by the fiery Vapours with which the Atmosphere abounds. For this Reason the Inhabitants never dare venture down into the Valleys, unless it be in hazy Weather, or when the Sky is overcast. And as soon as ever they perceive the least Glimmering of the Sun’s Rays, they either get back into the Mountains, or plunge directly into some Cavern. It often happens, that whilst the Inhabitants are upon the Road into these Valleys, they are either melted, or come to some other Misfortune. The extraordinary Heat in these Places furnishes them with a ready Means of punishing notorious Criminals. The Executioners take the Opportunity of the first cloudy Day to carry such Criminals down into the Plain, where they tie them to a Stake, and there leave them expos’d to the burning Rays of the Sun, which soon dissolves and melts them. The Country produces all Kinds of Minerals, except Gold. These are bought up by foreign Merchants, in the crude State in which they are digg’d out of the Earth. For the Natives being unable to bear the Fire, know nothing of the Art of smelting or working up of Metals. ’Tis thought that the _Iceland_ Trade is the most beneficial of any that is carry’d on in these Parts.