Part 4

It was about Dinner-time when we arriv’d at Court: And since it was his Highness’s Pleasure to talk with me alone, I was introduced into the Presence-Chamber. There is in this Prince a very remarkable Mixture of Mildness and Gravity. Such was his Steadiness, that his Countenance was never known to have the least Cloud upon it. Seeing the Prince, I instantly fell upon my Knees. The Courtiers were astonished at this Adoration, and when I told his Highness (who ask’d me) the Reason why I bent my Knee, he commanded me to rise, saying, that such a sort of Reverence was due to the Deity alone; adding, that nothing could obtain the Favour of the Prince but Obedience and Industry. When I rose, he ask’d me sundry Questions,

_Qua veniam, causamq; viæ, nomenq; rogatus, Et patriam: Patria est, respondeo, grandior Orbis. Klimius est Nomen; veni nec puppe per undas, Nec pede per terras; patuit mihi pervius Æther._

He then proceeded to enquire what I had met with in my Journey, and what were the Customs and Usages of our World. After which I proceeded to explain, as sensibly as I could, the Wit, the Virtues, the civiliz’d Manners of the Men of our World, and every Thing that Mankind pride themselves in. He receiv’d my Account very coldly, and at some Things which I thought would not have rais’d his Admiration, he perfectly yawn’d. Lord! said I to myself, how different are the Tastes of Mortals! that what gives One the most sensible Pleasure, to Another shall be quite nauseous! But what most offended his Highness was the Relation I gave him of our Law-Proceedings, of the Eloquence of our Lawyers, and the quick Dispatch of the Judges in pronouncing Sentence. While I was endeavouring to make this still clearer to him, he interrupted me by turning the Discourse to something else, and at length he proceeded to an Enquiry into our Religion and Worship. I then explain’d to him in a concise Manner, the several Articles of our Faith; at the Recital of which he somewhat soften’d his Countenance, attesting that he could readily subscribe to them, and he could not chuse but wonder how a Race of People of such weak Judgments should entertain such sound Notions of God and his Worship. But when he heard that the Christians were divided into Sects without Number, and that upon some Differences in Matters of Faith, People of the same Blood and Family would cruelly persecute one another, he answer’d thus: “Among us also there are a large Variety of different Sentiments concerning Things pertaining to divine Worship: But one Man does not persecute another for that. All Persecution for speculative Matters or Errors arising from the sole Variety of our Perceptions, can spring from nothing but Pride, one thinking himself wiser and more penetrating than the rest. But such Pride must be highly displeasing in the Eyes of the Supreme Being, who must be a Lover of Humility and Meekness in Mortals. We never teaze an Assembly of Judges about any one who shall happen to dissent from the receiv’d Opinions in Points of Speculation, provided he does it sincerely, and also conforms in practical Matters to the publick Worship of the Deity. And in this we pursue the Track chalk’d out to us by our Ancestors, who always thought it inhuman to fetter the Understanding, and tyrannize over the Conscience. In our Politicks we extremely recommend the Observance of this Rule, so that if my Subjects should differ about the Make of my Body, the Manner of my Life, or about my Oeconomy or any such sort of Thing, yet at the same time acknowledg’d me for their lawful Sovereign to whom Obedience is due, I think them all good Subjects.” To this I reply’d, May it please your most Serene Highness, such a Conduct would in our World be call’d _Syncretism_, and would be highly condemned by the Learned. He did not give me room to say any more, and seeming to be a little displeas’d walk’d away, and commanded me to stay till Dinner was over.

His Highness sat down to Table with his Royal Consort and their Son, together with the High Chancellor, or _Kadoki_. This same _Kadoki_ was in the first Esteem among the _Potuans_ for the Politeness of his Manners, as well as his Prudence and Wariness. For full twenty Years he never once gave his Sentiments in the Senate-House, but the rest immediately came into them, nor ever decreed any thing with regard to the Publick, but what stood firm and unshaken, so that his Decrees were so many Axioms. But then he was so slow of Apprehension, that for the least of them he used to require the Space of fourteen Days; and therefore in our World he would hardly be thought fit for Business of great Moment, where all Delay passes for Sloth and Laziness. But since whatever he once apprehended he understood through and through, and since he executed nothing but upon the severest Examination, hence he might be said to do more in Reality than ten others, who mighty readily set about Business, and are frequently styl’d Great Geniuses, but whose Decrees must afterwards be mended, alter’d, and lick’d into Shape; insomuch that at the Expiration of their Office, it is discover’d that they have attempted every thing and brought nothing to Perfection. Among the Maxims therefore of the _Potuan_ Court, this is one, That they who are so forward at Business, are like those who walk to and fro and tread a great deal of Ground, but gain none.

When the Family were seated, a Virgin enter’d with eight Branches and as many Dishes, so that in a Moment the whole Table was cover’d. Presently another Tree enter’d with eight Vessels of different Kinds of Wine. This latter had nine Branches, and so was judg’d extremely qualified for the domestick Business of the Court. And thus by two Servants only this whole Affair was commodiously performed, which in terrestrial Courts is not to be done without a perfect Army of Servants. With the same Dexterity the Dishes were remov’d, as they had been at first placed. It was a frugal but not inelegant Meal. Of the whole Number of Dishes, the Sovereign confin’d himself to one. Not so the great Ones of our Globe, who never think a Supper grand, unless one Course of Dishes give way to a finer and more exquisite Succession. During the Repast, the Conversation run upon Morality or Politicks; so that even these sensual Pleasures had a Seasoning of Learning. Mention also was made of me, whom from the Quickness of my Apprehension they took to be _not the Wood out of which_ Mercury _was to be made_.

The Repast being ended, I was order’d to produce my Testimonial; which being perus’d, the Prince directing his Eyes down to my Feet, said, the _Karatti_ had judg’d right, and that so it ought to be. Quite thunderstruck with this Answer, and overwhelm’d in Tears, I implor’d a Revisal of the Testimonial, since upon a more intimate Scrutiny into the Virtues of my Mind, and the Endowments of my Understanding, I might reasonably expect a milder Judgment to be made. His Highness being a merciful and equitable Prince, not at all incensed at this forward and unusual Request, enjoin’d the _Karatti_ then present, to examine me anew, and as accurately as possibly. During this Trial, the Prince stept aside to read some other Testimonials. The Prince having withdrawn himself, the _Karatti_ proposed a new Set of Questions to be solv’d by me. I answer’d them with my usual Readiness; upon which he spake thus to me: _You take a Thing presently, but not entirely; for your Solutions shew that the Question is readily perceiv’d, but not intimately understood_.

The Examination being finish’d, the Prince went into the Council-Chamber, and soon return’d with a final Sentence to this Purpose: That I had acted imprudently in calling in Question the Judgment of _Karatti_, and that therefore I had incurr’d the Penalty which the _third lesser Space of the fourth greater Space_ inflicts upon Slanderers (by the greater and lesser Spaces, or _Skibal_ and _Kibal_, they mean Books and Chapters) and that I deserv’d to undergo the _Venæ-section_ in both my Branches, and also to be imprison’d. The Words of the Law, _lib._ 4. _cap._ 3. concerning Defamation are these, _Spik. antri. Flak. Shak. mak. Tabu Mihalatti Silac_. But tho’ the Sense of the Words was very clear and evident, and the Law too sacred to be evaded, yet his most Serene Highness, by a Stretch of his Prerogative, thought fit to pardon this Offence of mine, occasioned through an Immaturity of Judgment, as well as Ignorance of the Law, which could hardly be said to be infring’d by this Indulgence to me, inasmuch as I was a Stranger and a Foreigner. And to give me a more ample Testimony of his most gracious Favour, he appointed me one of his Messengers in Ordinary, an Honour I ought to hold myself highly satisfy’d with.

Immediately the _Kiva_, or Secretary, was sent for, who enroll’d my Name in the Book of Promotions, together with the Names of several other Candidates. This Secretary was a most extraordinary Person; for he had eleven Pair of Branches, and could consequently write eleven Letters all at the same Time, and with the same Ease and Expedition that we can one; yet he had a very indifferent Judgment, upon which Account he never could expect any farther Promotion, and so he grew old in the same Post which he had fill’d for thirty Years. I contracted a close Friendship with him, and indeed I could not help cultivating an Affection for him, because all the Edicts and Letters of State, which he wrote, I, as Messenger in Ordinary, dispers’d over the Province. I was often astonish’d to see him execute Business with so much Dexterity; for it was a common Thing with him to write eleven Letters at once, and afterward seal them all in the same Instant. Among the Blessings therefore of a Family, a large Number of Branches is reckon’d one. And hence the Women in Child-Bed, immediately after the Birth of the Infant, are wont to signify to the Neighbours how many Branches it has brought into the World with it. It was reported, that the Father of our Secretary was born with twelve, and that his Family had long been famous for a Plurality of Branches.

The Diploma, which constituted me in my Office, being order’d to be drawn out, I now retir’d to my Repose. But tho’ my Limbs were excessively tir’d, yet was I not able to compose myself to Sleep. That ignoble Employment, to which I was condemn’d, run continually in my Head, and I thought it the greatest Debasement imaginable for one who was a Candidate for Holy Orders, and a Bachelor of Arts in the Upper World, to be chang’d into a vile Subterranean Court-Messenger. With these mortifying Thoughts did I waste a great Part of the Night, and during this Agitation, I several Times perus’d my University-Testimonium, which I had brought with me; (for as I observ’d above, the Night is almost as light as the Day.) At length quite jaded with thinking, I sunk into the Arms of Sleep. But what a Variety of Scenes presented themselves to my disturb’d Imagination! I thought I was return’d to my own Country, and relating aloud to vast Numbers of People all that had befel me in my subterranean Tour; presently I was sailing in the Air again, and engag’d with the Griffin once more, who gave me so warm a Reception, as that it wak’d me out of my Sleep. But how was I shock’d when I beheld by my Bedside a Monkey of the largest Size, which, by Reason of the Doors being left open, had got into my Chamber. This unlook’d for Spectacle chill’d all my Blood, and made me alarm the House with my Cries for Assistance. Some Trees, which lay in the adjacent Chambers, immediately entering, disengag’d me from the Struggle, and drove the beastly Creature away. I understood afterwards, that this Accident afforded the Prince plentiful Matter for Laughter. But that I might run no such Risque for the future, he gave Command that I should be habited after the subterranean Fashion, and adorn’d with artificial Branches. As for my _European_ Garments, they were taken from me, and for their Novelty hung up in the Prince’s Wardrobe, with this Inscription: “_The Dress of a superterranean Animal_.” Bless me! said I to myself, if Master _Andrews_, the Taylor at _Bergen_, who made this Suit, should know that his Workmanship was preserv’d among the Curiosities of a subterranean Prince, without Doubt he would grow vain, and think himself as great a Man as any in the City.

After this Misfortune Sleep quite forsook me. In the Morning my Diploma was brought me, which gave me the full Powers to execute my Office. A Multiplicity of Business pour’d in upon me soon, and carrying the Royal Edicts and Letters to every City of his Dominions, I was the _perpetual Motion_ itself. In these Expeditions I explor’d the Genius of the Country, and in many Places discover’d an uncommon Measure of Politeness and Understanding. Only the Inhabitants of the City of _Maholki_, which were all _Brambles_, seem’d to me something rude and uncultivated. Every Province has its peculiar Trees, or Natives of the Place, particularly the Province of Husbandmen. Tho’ in the great Cities, and especially in the Capital, there is a Mixture of all Sorts. The high Sentiments I had entertain’d of the Wisdom of this People encreased, as fast as I had fresh Opportunities of inspecting into them. Those very Laws and Customs, which I had disapprov’d, upon mature Reflection, extorted all my Admiration. I could easily bring a Cloud of Instances of certain Manners and Usages, which upon a transient View appear’d absurd, but which to the curious Enquirer, would be full of Solidity and Wisdom. Out of a thousand I shall produce but this one, which gives you a perfect Idea of this People. A certain Student in Humanity stood Candidate for the vacant Mastership of a School. His Pretensions were strengthen’d in this Manner, to wit, the Inhabitants of the City of _Nahami_ certify’d, that the Candidate had liv’d very quietly for four Years together with a wanton and unfaithful Wife, and wore his Horns very patiently. The Certificate was couch’d in the following Style: “Whereas the learned and venerable _Jocthan Hu_ has requir’d of his Neighbours a Testimonial of his Life and Morals, We the Citizens living in that Street or Portion of the City call’d _Posko_, do testify, that the said _Jocthan Hu_ has liv’d in Wedlock for full four Years with a disloyal Wife, and that without the least Noise or Disturbance; that he has wore his Horns with a laudable Patience, and with such Meekness, has bore this Misfortune, that we judge him highly worthy to succeed to the vacant Mastership, if his Learning be but equal to his Morals. Given under our Hands this 10th Day of the Month _Palm_, in the 3000ndth Year after the great Deluge.”

To this Recommendation was annex’d a Testimonial from the Seminary of the _Karatti_, of his Learning and Studies, which seem’d to be more to the Purpose. For what great Merit Cuckoldom had to bear the Bell from all other Doctors, I could not readily apprehend. But here lay the Sense and Meaning of this strange Testimonial, _viz._ Among the Virtues that principally recommend a Teacher, Moderation is one. For with all his Pomp of Learning, unless he has an invincible Patience, he must be but indifferently qualify’d for the Scholastick Employment, which should be exercised without Severity or Passion, lest by untimely Corrections the Minds of the Youths should be harden’d. And since a greater Instance of Moderation could hardly be given, than this of the Candidate, therefore his Neighbours insisted chiefly on this Argument, as every Thing was to be hop’d for from a Teacher so renown’d for this necessary Virtue. It is said his Majesty laugh’d immoderately at so unusual a Recommendation, but since it was far from being absurd, he conferr’d the vacant Mastership upon the Petitioner. And in Effect, he understood and discharg’d his Duty with such Address, and so engag’d his Pupils by his Mildness and Clemency, that they regarded him rather as a Parent than a Tutor, and such was their Passion for Learning under such soft and gentle Government, that thro’ the whole Dominions there were few Schools that annually sent out such eminent, learned and civiliz’d Trees.

As during the several Years of my Employment, I had frequent Opportunities of inspecting into the Nature of the Soil, into the Genius and Manners of the People, into their Policy, Religion, Laws and Studies, I hope it will not be unacceptable to the Reader, if I collect into one View what he will meet with separately throughout the whole Book.

CHAP. V.

_Of the Nature of the Country, and the Manners of the People._

The _Potuan_ Empire is of no very great Extent. The whole Globe is call’d _Nazar_, and is about two hundred _German_ Miles in Circumference. A Traveller may easily go round it without a Guide, for the same Language obtains every where, tho’ the _Potuans_ differ greatly in their Customs and Manners from the other States and Principalities. And as in our World the _Europeans_ excel the rest of Mankind, so the _Potuans_ are distinguished by their superior Virtue and Wisdom from the rest of the Globe. The high Roads, at proper Distances, are adorn’d with Stones, that mark the Miles, and abound with Directing-Posts, which shew the Ways and Turnings to every City and Village. It is indeed a very memorable Circumstance, and worthy of Admiration, that the same Language is spoke every where, altho’ the several Kingdoms differ so widely in other Respects, namely, in their Manners, Understanding, Customs, and Condition, that we see here all that Variety which Nature delights in, and which does not only simply move or affect the Traveller, but even throws him into an Extasy of Wonder.

There are also Seas and Rivers which bear Vessels, whose Oars seem to be mov’d by a Kind of magick Impulse, for they are not work’d by the Labour of the Arm, but by Machines like our Clock-work. The Nature of this Device I cannot explain, as being not well vers’d in Mechanicks; and besides, these Trees contrive every Thing with such Subtilty, that no Mortal without the Eyes of _Argus_, or the Power of Divination, can arrive at the Secret. This Globe, like ours, has a triple Motion, so that the Seasons here, namely, those of Day and Night, Winter and Summer, Spring and Autumn, are distinguish’d like ours; also towards the Poles it grows colder. As to Light, here is little Difference between Day and Night, for the Reasons before assign’d. Nay, the Night may be thought more grateful than the Day; for nothing can be conceiv’d more bright and splendid, than that Light which the solid Firmament receives from the Sun, and reflects back upon the Planet, insomuch that it looks, (if I may be allow’d the Expression) like one universal Moon. The Inhabitants consist of various Species of Trees, as Oaks, Limes, Poplars, Palms, Brambles, _&c._ from whence the sixteen Months, into which the subterranean Year is divided, have their Names. For every sixteenth Month the Planet _Nazar_ returns to its first Station, yet not upon the same Day, upon account of the Inequality of its Motion; for just like our Moon, by its manifold _Phases_, it perplexes the _Literati_ of the Firmament. Their Dates or Æras of Time are various; these they fix from some memorable Circumstance, and particularly from the great Comet which appear’d 3000 Years ago, and is said to have caus’d an universal Deluge, in which the whole Race of Trees, and other Animals perish’d, except a few which on the Tops of Mountains escap’d the general Wreck, and from whom the present Inhabitants are descended. The Soil abounds with Corn, Herbs, and Pulse; and produces all the Fruits of _Europe_, except Oats, of which there is no Want, since there are no Horses. The Seas and Lakes afford delicious Fish, and the Shoars and Banks are adorn’d with the most entertaining Variety of Villages, some contiguous, and some divided. The Liquor they drink is extracted from certain Herbs which flourish all the Year. The Venders of this Liquor are call’d _Minhalpi_, that is, Herb-Dressers, who in every City are restrained to a certain Number, and who alone have the Privilege of preparing it. Those who enjoy this Advantage, are commanded to abstain from all other Business or lucrative Employment. In particular it is provided, that those who already are in any publick Offices, or who have Salaries from the Government, shall never concern themselves in this Branch of Trade; because these by their Power and Authority in the City might monopolize the Business, and be able to undersel the rest, from the Revenues they already enjoy. An Artifice often practised by the Courtiers and great Men of our World, who in the Shape of Merchants or Jobbers, become immensely rich.