Part 23
[109] _enchantment you did here_] Warburton (Thirlby conj.). _enchantment you did heare_ F1 F2. _enchantment you did hear_ F3 F4. _enchantment, you did hear_ Theobald.
[113] _shameful_] _shame-fac'd_ Collier MS.
[117] _one of_] om. Hanmer.
_receiving_] _conceiving_ Mason conj.
[118-120] S. Walker arranges as three lines ending _shown ... heart ... you_.
[118] _cypress_] _Cipresse_ F1 F2 F3. _Cipress_ F4. _Cyprus_ Theobald.
[119] _Hides_] _Hideth_ Delius conj.
_heart_ F1. _poor heart_ F2 F3 F4.
_me_] _us_ Rowe (ed. 2).
[121] _grize_] F1. _grice_ F2 F3 F4.
[125] _the better_] _better_ F3 F4.
[129] _is come_] _are come_ Pope (ed. 2).
[131, 132] S. Walker would end the lines _west ... disposition ... ladyship_.
[132] _attend_] _'tend_ Steevens.
_your ladyship_] _you_ Hanmer.
[133] _me?_] Rowe. _me:_ Ff.
[135] _I_] om. Pope.
[140] _am?_] Ff. _am,_ Rowe (ed. 2).
[142, 143] _beautiful ... lip!_] Rowe. _beautiful? ... lip,_ Ff.
[148] _thy_] _my_ Collier MS.
[150] _thy_] _'wry_ Hanmer.
[157, 158] _it, save I alone. And_] _it._ Oli. _Save I alone!_ Vio. _And_ Hanmer.
## SCENE II. OLIVIA'S _house_.
_Enter_ SIR TOBY, SIR ANDREW, _and_ FABIAN.
_Sir And._ No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.
_Sir To._ Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.
_Fab._ You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.
_Sir And._ Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to the count's serving-man than ever she bestowed upon me; 5 I saw 't i' the orchard.
_Sir To._ Did she see thee the while, old boy? tell me that.
_Sir And._ As plain as I see you now.
_Fab._ This was a great argument of love in her toward 10 you.
_Sir And._ 'Slight, will you make an ass o' me?
_Fab._ I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgement and reason.
_Sir To._ And they have been grand-jurymen since before 15 Noah was a sailor.
_Fab._ She did show favour to the youth in your sight only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver. You should then have accosted her; and with some excellent 20 jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the youth into dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, and this was balked: the double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of my lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicle 25 on a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt either of valour or policy.
_Sir And._ An't be any way, it must be with valour; for policy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.
_Sir To._ Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the 30 basis of valour. Challenge me the count's youth to fight with him; hurt him in eleven places: my niece shall take note of it; and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in man's commendation with woman than report of valour. 35
_Fab._ There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.
_Sir And._ Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?
_Sir To._ Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and full 40 of invention: taunt him with the license of ink: if thou thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set 'em down: go, about it. Let there be gall enough in thy 45 ink, though thou write with a goose-pen, no matter: about it.
_Sir And._ Where shall I find you?
_Sir To._ We'll call thee at the cubiculo: go. [_Exit Sir Andrew._
_Fab._ This is a dear manakin to you, Sir Toby. 50
_Sir To._ I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand strong, or so.
_Fab._ We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'll not deliver't?
_Sir To._ Never trust me, then; and by all means stir 55 on the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were opened, and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy.
_Fab._ And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage 60 no great presage of cruelty.
_Enter_ MARIA.
_Sir To._ Look, where the youngest wren of nine comes.
_Mar._ If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no Christian, 65 that means to be saved by believing rightly, can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. He's in yellow stockings.
_Sir To._ And cross-gartered?
_Mar._ Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps a 70 school i' the church. I have dogged him, like his murderer. He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped to betray him: he does smile his face into more lines than is in the new map with the augmentation of the Indies: you have not seen such a thing as 'tis. I can hardly forbear 75 hurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him: if she do, he'll smile and take't for a great favour.
_Sir To._ Come, bring us, bring us where he is. [_Exeunt._
LINENOTES:
## SCENE II.] SCENE IV. Pope.
OLIVIA'S house.] Rowe.
[5, 31] _count's_] _Duke's_ Rowe.
[5] _upon_] _on_ Rowe (ed. 2).
[7] _thee the_] F3 F4. _the_ F1 F2. _you the_ Long MS.
[12] _'Slight_] F3 F4. _S'light_ F1 F2.
[13] _I will_] F1. _I_ F2 F3 F4.
[27] _laudable_] om. Rowe.
[28] _An't_] Hanmer. _And't_ Ff.
[31] _youth to fight_] _youth; go, fight_ Tyrwhitt conj.
[32] _with him_] _with you_ Ritson conj.
[35] _woman_] _women_ Hanmer.
[39] _curst_] _curt_ Grey conj.
[45] _go, about_] Capell. _go about_ Ff. _and go about_ Rowe.
[46] _write_] _write it_ Rowe.
[49] _the_] _thy_ Hanmer.
[50] SCENE V. Pope.
[57] _Andrew_] _Sir Andrew_ Collier (Collier MS.).
[58] _and_] _an_ S. Walker conj.
[62] _nine_] Theobald, _mine_ Ff.
[64] _yond_] _yon'_ Capell.
[65] _heathen_] _a heathen_ S. Walker conj.
_renegado_] Rowe. _Renegatho_ Ff.
[73] _is_] Ff. _are_ Steevens.
[78] [Exeunt.] Exeunt Omnes Ff.
## SCENE III. _A street._
_Enter_ SEBASTIAN _and_ ANTONIO.
_Seb._ I would not by my will have troubled you; But, since you make your pleasure of your pains, I will no further chide you.
_Ant._ I could not stay behind you: my desire, More sharp than filed steel, did spur me forth; 5 And not all love to see you, though so much As might have drawn one to a longer voyage, But jealousy what might befall your travel, Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger, Unguided and unfriended, often prove 10 Rough and unhospitable: my willing love, The rather by these arguments of fear, Set forth in your pursuit.
_Seb._ My kind Antonio, I can no other answer make but thanks, And thanks; and ever ... oft good turns 15 Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay: But, were my worth as is my conscience firm, You should find better dealing. What's to do? Shall we go see the reliques of this town?
_Ant._ To-morrow, sir: best first go see your lodging. 20
_Seb._ I am not weary, and 'tis long to night: I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes With the memorials and the things of fame That do renown this city.
_Ant._ Would you'ld pardon me; I do not without danger walk these streets: 25 Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst the count his galleys I did some service; of such note indeed, That were I ta'en here it would scarce be answer'd.
_Seb._ Belike you slew great number of his people.
_Ant._ The offence is not of such a bloody nature; 30 Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel Might well have given us bloody argument. It might have since been answer'd in repaying What we took from them; which, for traffic's sake, Most of our city did: only myself stood out; 35 For which, if I be lapsed in this place, I shall pay dear.
_Seb._ Do not then walk too open.
_Ant._ It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my purse. In the south suburbs, at the Elephant, Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet, 40 Whiles you beguile the time and feed your knowledge With viewing of the town: there shall you have me.
_Seb._ Why I your purse?
_Ant._ Haply your eye shall light upon some toy You have desire to purchase; and your store, 45 I think, is not for idle markets, sir.
_Seb._ I'll be your purse-bearer and leave you For an hour.
_Ant._ To the Elephant.
_Seb._ I do remember. [_Exeunt._
LINENOTES:
## SCENE III.] SCENE VI. Pope.
A street.] Capell. The street. Rowe.
[7] _one_] _me_ Heath conj.
[15, 16] _And thanks ... pay_] Omitted in F2 F3 F4.
[15] _And thanks; and ever ... oft good turns_] _And thankes: and ever oft good turnes_ F1. _And thanks: and ever oft-good turns_ Pope (ed. 1). _And thanks: and ever-oft good turns_ Id. (ed. 2). _And thanks, and ever thanks; and oft good turns_ Theobald. _And thanks, and ever; oft good turns_ Steevens (1778). _And thanks again and ever; oft good turns_ Rann (Tollet conj.). _And thanks, and ever thanks: oft good turns_ Malone. _And thanks, and ever thanks: often good turns_ Steevens (1794). _And thanks, and ever thanks; too oft good turns_ Seymour conj. _And thanks, still thanks; and very oft good turns_ Collier (Collier MS.). _And thanks, and ever thanks; though oft good turns_ Lettsom conj. _And thanks: and very oft good turns_ Grant White. _And thanks, and thanks; and very oft good turns_ Id. conj.
[17] _worth_] _wealth_ Collier MS.
[20] _lodging_] _lodging?_ F1.
[26] _count his_] _Duke his_ Rowe. _County's_ Malone conj.
[29] _people._] _people?_ Dyce.
[36] _lapsed_] _latched_ Hunter conj.
[47, 48] _you For an_] Ff. _you for An_ Theobald. As prose in Boswell.
[48] Exeunt.] Ff. Exeunt severally. Capell.
## SCENE IV. OLIVIA'S _garden_.
_Enter_ OLIVIA _and_ MARIA.
_Oli._ I have sent after him: he says he'll come; How shall I feast him? what bestow of him? For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or borrow'd. I speak too loud. Where is Malvolio? he is sad and civil, 5 And suits well for a servant with my fortunes: Where is Malvolio?
_Mar._ He's coming, madam; but in very strange manner. He is, sure, possessed, madam.
_Oli._ Why, what's the matter? does he rave? 10
_Mar._ No, madam, he does nothing but smile: your ladyship were best to have some guard about you, if he come; for, sure, the man is tainted in's wits.
_Oli._ Go call him hither. [_Exit Maria._] I am as mad as he, If sad and merry madness equal be. 15
_Re-enter_ MARIA, _with_ MALVOLIO.
How now, Malvolio!
_Mal._ Sweet lady, ho, ho.
_Oli._ Smilest thou? I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.
_Mal._ Sad, lady! I could be sad: this does make some 20 obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; but what of that? if it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is, 'Please one, and please all.'
_Oli._ Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter with thee? 25
_Mal._ Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed: I think we do know the sweet Roman hand.
_Oli._ Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?
_Mal._ To bed! ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee. 30
_Oli._ God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so and kiss thy hand so oft?
_Mar._ How do you, Malvolio?
_Mal._ At your request! yes; nightingales answer daws.
_Mar._ Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness 35 before my lady?
_Mal._'Be not afraid of greatness:' 'twas well writ.
_Oli._ What meanest thou by that, Malvolio?
_Mal._ 'Some are born great,'--
_Oli._ Ha! 40
_Mal._ 'Some achieve greatness,'--
_Oli._ What sayest thou?
_Mal._ 'And some have greatness thrust upon them.'
_Oli._ Heaven restore thee!
_Mal._ 'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'-- 45
_Oli._ Thy yellow stockings!
_Mal._ 'And wished to see thee cross-gartered.'
_Oli._ Cross-gartered!
_Mal._ 'Go to, thou art made, if thou desirest to be so;'-- 50
_Oli._ Am I made?
_Mal._ 'If not, let me see thee a servant still.'
_Oli._ Why, this is very midsummer madness.
_Enter_ Servant.
_Ser._ Madam, the young gentleman of the Count Orsino's is returned: I could hardly entreat him back: he 55 attends your ladyship's pleasure.
_Oli._ I'll come to him. [_Exit Servant._] Good Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him: I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry. 60 [_Exeunt Olivia and Maria._
_Mal._ O, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man than Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter. 'Cast thy humble slough,' says she; 'be opposite with a 65 kinsman, surly with servants; let thy tongue tang with arguments of state; put thyself into the trick of singularity;' and consequently sets down the manner how; as, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have limed her; but it is Jove's 70 doing, and Jove make me thankful! And when she went away now, 'Let this fellow be looked to:' fellow! not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together, that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance--What 75 can be said? Nothing that can be can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked.
_Re-enter_ MARIA, _with_ SIR TOBY _and_ FABIAN.
_Sir To._ Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself 80 possessed him, yet I'll speak to him.
_Fab._ Here he is, here he is. How is't with you, sir? how is't with you, man?
_Mal._ Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy my private: go off. 85
_Mar._ Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him.
_Mal._ Ah, ha! does she so?
_Sir To._ Go to, go to; peace, peace; we must deal 90 gently with him: let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man! defy the devil; consider, he's an enemy to mankind.
_Mal._ Do you know what you say?
_Mar._ La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he 95 takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched!
_Fab._ Carry his water to the wise woman.
_Mar._ Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say. 100
_Mal._ How now, mistress!
_Mar._ O Lord!
_Sir To._ Prithee, hold thy peace; this is not the way: do you not see you move him? let me alone with him.
_Fab._ No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend 105 is rough, and will not be roughly used.
_Sir To._ Why, how now, my bawcock! how dost thou, chuck?
_Mal._ Sir!
_Sir To._ Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis 110 not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: hang him, foul collier!
_Mar._ Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get him to pray.
_Mal._ My prayers, minx! 115
_Mar._ No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.
_Mal._ Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow things: I am not of your element: you shall know more hereafter. [_Exit._
_Sir To._ Is't possible? 120
_Fab._ If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction.
_Sir To._ His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man.
_Mar._ Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air 125 and taint.
_Fab._ Why, we shall make him mad indeed.
_Mar._ The house will be the quieter.
_Sir To._ Come, we'll have him in a dark room and bound. My niece is already in the belief that he's mad: 130 we may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him: at which time we will bring the device to the bar and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see. 135
_Enter_ SIR ANDREW.
_Fab._ More matter for a May morning.
_Sir And._ Here's the challenge, read it: I warrant there's vinegar and pepper in't.
_Fab._ Is't so saucy?
_Sir And._ Ay, is't, I warrant him: do but read. 140
_Sir To._ Give me. [_Reads_] Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow.
_Fab._ Good, and valiant.
_Sir To._ [_reads_] Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't. 145
_Fab._ A good note; that keeps you from the blow of the law.
_Sir To._ [_reads_] Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat; that is not the matter I challenge thee for. 150
_Fab._ Very brief, and to exceeding good sense--less.
_Sir To._ [_reads_] I will waylay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,--
_Fab._ Good.
_Sir To._ [_reads_] Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain. 155
_Fab._ Still you keep o' the windy side of the law: good.
_Sir To._ [_reads_] Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn 160 enemy,
ANDREW AGUECHEEK.
If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't him.
_Mar._ You may have very fit occasion for't: he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by 165 depart.
_Sir To._ Go, Sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner of the orchard like a bum-baily: so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering 170 accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. Away!
_Sir And._ Nay, let me alone for swearing. [_Exit._
_Sir To._ Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behaviour 175 of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employment between his lord and my niece confirms no less: therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth: he will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will 180 deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Aguecheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman, as I know his youth will aptly receive it, into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury and impetuosity. This will so fright them both, that they will kill one another 185 by the look, like cockatrices.
_Re-enter_ OLIVIA, _with_ VIOLA.
_Fab._ Here he comes with your niece: give them way till he take leave, and presently after him.
_Sir To._ I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge. 190 [_Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria._
_Oli._ I have said too much unto a heart of stone And laid mine honour too unchary out: There's something in me that reproves my fault; But such a headstrong potent fault it is, That it but mocks reproof. 195
_Vio._ With the same 'haviour that your passion bears Goes on my master's grief.
_Oli._ Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture; Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you; And I beseech you come again to-morrow. 200 What shall you ask of me that I'll deny, That honour saved may upon asking give?
_Vio._ Nothing but this;--your true love for my master.
_Oli._ How with mine honour may I give him that Which I have given to you?
_Vio._ I will acquit you. 205
_Oli._ Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well: A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell. [_Exit._
_Re-enter_ SIR TOBY _and_ FABIAN.
_Sir To._ Gentleman, God save thee.
_Vio._ And you, sir.
_Sir To._ That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of 210 what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful and deadly. 215
_Vio._ You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me: my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man.
_Sir To._ You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your 220 guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill and wrath can furnish man withal.
_Vio._ I pray you, sir, what is he?
_Sir To._ He is knight, dubbed with unhatched rapier and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private 225 brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre. Hob, nob, is his word; give't or take't.
_Vio._ I will return again into the house and desire some 230 conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their valour: belike this is a man of that quirk.
_Sir To._ Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury: therefore, get you on and give him 235 his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with me which with as much safety you might answer him: therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you. 240
_Vio._ This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is: it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose.
_Sir To._ I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this 245 gentleman till my return. [_Exit._
_Vio._ Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?
_Fab._ I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more. 250
_Vio._ I beseech you, what manner of man is he?
_Fab._ Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any 255 part of Illyria. Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him if I can.