Part 18

I grieve for the sin you fell into. Had the temper of your mind been really charitable, you certainly could not lightly have spoken evil of any one. Nothing is more contrary to the true spirit of the gospel, than this want of universal love. And yet there is nothing so common even among those who in most other respects are unblameable. How ought we every moment to watch! Oh when shall we indeed be renewed after the image of Christ! _Adieu._

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WHAT, my dear companion, can I write so animating as your present circumstances? God seems, I think, in a most peculiar manner to watch over your soul for good. What interesting, what heart-affecting scenes have you gone through? The account I had of your **** death, has made me see the goodness of God to you in the strongest light, and I am ready to shudder, when I think that it is possible, even after all this, that you should again be ungrateful. Oh watch every moment! Think what horrors and agonies you must feel, if you should now suffer your heart to turn aside from this tender and merciful God! The circumstances you are now in are like five talents given to your care. Remember ♦you are to gain with them five talents more, or expect to hear these dreadful words――_Thou slothful and wicked servant_. Your heavenly Father seems to be making a plain way before your face. I see you in a light almost _prophetical_. I rejoice, and yet I tremble. You seem pointed out, I think, as an instrument in the hands of God for the conversion of Miss ****; but here you will be in danger from your old enemies, pride, and love of teaching, and above all that self-setting-up which you have found so difficult to overcome. O my dear love, fail not every hour of the day to pray particularly for humility. I trust you are not in danger from any increase of fortune. No surely. The heart of my beloved friend cannot be so mean and low, as to pride itself in dross and dirt. Perhaps you will find some difficulties in regard to the tempers of your ****; how necessary will it be for you in this case to place constantly before your eyes the meekness and lowliness of the Lamb of God? And fear not, you will in all these things be more than conqueror through him, who has loved you.

♦ “your” replaced with “you”

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I PITY you, my dear friend; I saw yesterday that your head was full, and your heart not so warm towards God as it sometimes is. Oh when shall we be free from these distractions? Or rather when shall our love to our Redeemer be so intense, that our hearts may be constantly fixed on him, and we (as it were) walk through the fire without being burnt? *I remember having sometimes said to you the beginning of last summer, “There is more a vast deal in faith than we all imagine;” and though, thanks to the free grace of God, we both know more of faith now, than we did at that time, yet I may still repeat the saying, and may continue to repeat it, till our eyes are fully opened in eternity. “All things are possible to him that believeth,” said the God of truth; and why then do not you and I conquer all sin? Because _we do not believe_. The unbounded riches of the grace of God in Christ Jesus are hardly more astonishing, than the perverseness of that soul, which will not fully trust in them. Christ stands ever ready to save to the uttermost, if we will but believe, that he can, and will do it; and we draw back and shrink from his redeeming hand. We suffer the dark clouds of our fallen nature to obscure the glorious light of the promises of God. And though our heads may be fully convinced of their truth, and we may have some desires of attaining them, yet there is in the centre of our souls an hidden root of unbelief, which just as we are going to lay hold on the prize, whispers――“How can these things be?” and then we sink. I have heard it observed of the eagle, that she holds her young ones full against the bright beams of the mid day sun: if they behold it stedfastly, she nourishes them, but if they turn away their heads or shut their eyes, she dashes them to the ground. There is something very striking in this. A nominal believer, who makes a profession of holiness, has all the outward marks of a true believer, as these dastard eagles have of the others; but he cannot look stedfastly at the glorious beams of the Sun of Righteousness: and how dreadful is the consequence? Oh my love, how ought we to watch and pray! How careful ought we to be not to lose sight for one moment of our immaterial sun, lest the eye of our minds should by that means contract a dimness and weakness, which might render us incapable of stedfastly beholding him, when he shall appear in all the fulness of his glory. May the God of mercy preserve you in all temptations, and be your portion in time and in eternity.

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_My dear Friend_,

I PRAISE God with my whole heart for your happiness and strength, and I pray him to increase it every moment. O may that blessed peace never leave your soul: it is eternal life begun, and ten thousands laid in the balance with this peace would be all lighter than vanity. It is a glorious sign, that in outward troubles, or inward temptations, you can leave the means of your deliverance intirely to God, without suffering your imagination to run out after the manner in which you probably may be delivered. O that we could always venture ourselves upon the mercies of our God! Then would he indeed work wonders for us――wonders which we now can scarce believe, though the God of truth himself declares them unto us. And this God will surely keep you in the dangers to which you are going to be exposed, if you will be watchful to keep the eye of your mind constantly turned towards him, and wait and hang upon him, as a little child on its fond parent, drawing all your help, all your comfort from him, and him alone. If you have but little outward retirement, shut more closely the door of your heart, and there in its inmost recesses commune with your God, and Redeemer, there be continually crying unto him――Lord thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee; thou knowest, O life and joy of my soul, that I desire nothing but to do thy perfect will, and to be conformed to the likeness of thy sufferings, as well as to the likeness of thy resurrection. Oh crucify in me the whole body of sin! Give me an humble, a mortified, and child-like spirit, and in thine own good time perfect the work thou hast begun in my soul.

As to examples which are not good, I hope I may say, that all the effect they can have upon my beloved friend (in her present happy state of mind) will be to drive her nearer to her God, and in that nearness what comfort does the believing soul find?

What tho’ earth and hell engage To shake that soul with fear; Calmly it defies the rage Of persecution near.

Suffering faith shall brighter grow, As gold when in the furnace tried: Only Jesus will we know, And Jesus crucified.

Yes, my love, let those who stile themselves our best friends join with the world in calling us _mopes_ and _enthusiasts_. Still stedfastly fixed on the rock which cannot be moved, we will endure, nay joyfully take up the reproach for his sake, who hid not his blessed face from shame and spitting for our sakes, to make us (accursed and lost creatures) heirs of eternal glory. Oh that his strength may but accompany us, and the light of his countenance continually abide with us; and then we shall not fail to go on conquering and to conquer. _Amen._

For God’s sake avoid disputes of all kinds. I was delighted the last time you was with me, to observe that you was greatly altered for the better in this respect. Think not that I will omit to pray for you, and fail not to pray for me. Oh my friend, soon will time be swallowed up in eternity.

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I READILY believe you, my dear friend, that you have not brought back the same heart you carried with you: for I thought I discovered the two last times I saw you, a falling off from the grace you had, and the happy state of mind you had been in; but for God’s sake strive to recover yourself before you are sunk lower. Think how dreadful your case will be, if you should so grieve the Spirit of God, as to cause him to depart from you. I know your heart to be ungrateful and deceitful, and you yourself know full well how much it is so; but fear not to search into its most hidden corruptions. Was it ten times more vile and polluted than it is, the blood of Jesus is all-sufficient to cleanse it. And my dear soul, let me intreat of you earnestly to seek after a clear and constant sense of the pardoning love of God. This only can enable you to trample all temptations under your feet: believe me, unless you really walk in the light of his countenance, you never can conquer all the powers and works of darkness. Oh seek the peace which passes all understanding. You have need enough of it, I am sure, considering the many snares you walk in. I really fear you do not diligently seek after God: ’tis very certain they that seek shall find; and therefore that the Redeemer is not fully manifested in your soul is entirely owing to your sloth and negligence. How is it possible for you to keep your ground against temptations which are continually striking upon your senses, unless you have _in_ you the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen? When our understandings are clear in gospel doctrines, we are too apt to imagine our hearts are so. My dear friend, for God’s sake deceive not yourself. Oh suffer not your soul to rest, till you can say with full assurance of faith, “My sins are forgiven.” Depend upon it this is the first step in true Christianity. Oh cry to God every moment from the bottom of your heart, and he will do more for you, than you can either ask or think. I am a witness of his free and boundless mercy. For some days past I have been in the wilderness, my soul weary, faint, and desolate; no rejoicing in God; not one ray from the Sun of Righteousness: but this morning, this blessed morning, my Beloved returned to my soul, and I rejoiced with joy unspeakable, and could say with the fullest assurance, “My sins are done away――Christ is mine――God the Father is my reconciled Father――God the Holy Ghost is my comforter and guide.” *Oh my friend, my heart is now so overwhelmed I can scarce write. I could repeat a thousand and a thousand times over――_Christ is mine_. My soul is ready to spring out of its prison, and I could at this moment face death in all its horrible prospects to go to my Redeemer. Oh death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? My dear love, you know not what you lose by your negligence. O seek, strive, agonize; could you suffer the utmost tortures in body or mind, they would be all as nothing to gain one moment of this sweetness: and Oh pray for me, that I may not by sinning grieve the blessed Comforter, and lose my present peace. God be with you my dear friend. God bless you both now and for ever.

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_My dear friend_,

I MOURN for you, and may you mourn too from your very inmost soul, till God himself gives you the true comfort. Oh thou dear backslider, what shall I say? How shall I find words strong enough to make a lasting impression on a heart so inconstant, so slothful, and careless? Oh that the Spirit of God would assist my weak endeavours, and point my otherwise unavailing words! You own you do not strive earnestly: alas I too plainly see you do not. But the blessed Comforter strives with you, and still you resist and grieve him. How irksome is it to me always to write the same thing? My dear soul, for God’s sake be more in earnest. How can you talk of sloth and carelessness, when you are standing on the brink of a precipice? Can you promise yourself another day? And are you fit to die in the state you are now in? Nay, are you not afraid to die? Oh if the Lord should say of you, as of the barren fig-tree, “Cut it down, why cumbereth it the ground,” how would you be overwhelmed with dread and confusion? For you who know so well what are the glorious promises of the gospel, to suffer your thoughts to run upon worldly things is inexcusable. It seems strange, that you should think you love Christ more than you did, when you was in a better state; however above all things hold fast, and strive to increase this love, but then at the same time take care that you hate sin in the same proportion, and that you strive against it with the utmost earnestness: for to talk of loving Christ, and at the same time to give way to sloth, carelessness, and worldly-mindedness, is an abominable mockery. If you are encompassed with ten thousand temptations never fear, so your own heart consent not to them. Your blessed Master will surely help you, if you can but trust him: and never give way, to that _seeming_ impossibility of praying. Though perhaps you cannot pray with comfort, or with any kind of connection, yet if you be ever so distracted you may surely cry, Lord, have mercy upon me――Jesus, pity me. Or even supposing you could not do this from your heart, ask yourself whether you do not desire to pray; and if you do, thank God for that desire, and the next thought will be prayer. Could you not make the increase of your family profitable, by joining at stated times of the day in some act of devotion? If it were but for one quarter of an hour at a time, there would doubtless be a blessing attending it. Suppose you were to sing an hymn together, or by turns pray, either from some form of prayer, or what would be better, extempore. You ought rather to be silent, and be thought a mope, than to join in trifling discourse. Consider, my love, you are to set an example to your young friends; and fear not but God will deliver you from this bondage into the glorious liberty of his children. The feeble trust you now have is the work of his blessed Spirit, and he will increase it into an holy confidence. Let not therefore your comfort sicken, but trust in that Jesus, who died that you might live; to whose all-merciful bosom I commit you,

_And am your affectionate Friend_, &c.

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_My dear Friend_,

I HOPE your present circumstances do not prevent your constant watching over your own heart, and pressing forward in the way of holiness. In the midst of all these prospects death may come! And are you fit to die? We cannot too often ask ourselves this question. We cannot be too serious. There is only a moment between us and eternity. May the Lord Jesus so prepare us, that at whatever hour he calls we may be ready, our lamps trimmed, and we ourselves as those who wait for the bridegroom. Adieu, my dear. May the Almighty preserve you from all evil.

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OF what service, my dear love, can any thing I say be of to you? I have tried all means in my power to keep your mind more steady but in vain. If God has at any time so blessed my letters, that they have made any impression on you it has gone off in two or three days: and when you have had those great benefits indeed of conversing with living Christians, though for a time you have been raised and lively, yet you have soon sunk into your former sloth and carelessness. There must certainly be some hidden corruption in your heart, which causes this inconstancy. I often study you as I would a book, but you are in truth one of the most puzzling books I ever met with. I often rejoice to see in you (as I think) an increase of grace, and a decrease of that pride and selfishness, which under an appearance of humility you once had to a great degree. The last time you was with me, I thought you greatly advanced; and now you are fallen again into pride and selfishness. The Lord Jesus raise you up. Indeed, my dear soul, you grieve and wound me. You bring sorrow in my heart, and tears in my eyes: nay and sometimes your letters tempt me to impatience; but then I immediately recollect my own continual backslidings, and the long-suffering of God towards me, and can I be impatient with my friend? If your want of retirement is not owing to yourself, never lay your coldness upon that: for was your heart sincere, God would strengthen you at all times to look up to him. But if as you say, you trifled away your time, and indulged an unwillingness to prayer, no wonder God with-held that portion of his grace he would otherwise have given you. Depend upon it, whenever you find an unwillingness to pray, that of all times is the most proper for you to pray in; therefore never say on such an occasion, “I will go read some good book, or do some good work, which may perhaps bring my mind into a better frame for prayer.” No, do not so foolishly; but go, and prostrate yourself before God with all your unwillingness; and he will soon give you both the will and the power to praise him. _Amen._

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_My dear Friend_,

IT is impossible for me to judge rightly, till I know more of your affair, and then I doubt not, but God, if we ask in sincerity, will direct us both to agree in our sentiments, as to what will be most conducive to your eternal welfare. However thus much I can say, be not unequally yoked with an unbeliever. To marry a man in hopes of making him a Christian, will be leading yourself into temptation. The advantages you speak of may doubtless be great blessings to you, if you are very certain you can enjoy them. You ought to be very explicit with the person, whoever he is, both with regard to your sentiments and his own heart. You cannot imagine the continual snares you will walk in, if you are joined to one, who is not joined to Christ; especially if you have any fondness for him. As in a married state there are more allurements to draw the mind from God than in a single one, so (if the companion be a Christian) there are also advantages in it, which perhaps may almost make the balance even. But how dreadful will it be, if he who should be your help, prove to you an occasion of falling? Above all things, my dear, try the sincerity of your own heart. Examine well whether you can accept this offer with a single eye to the glory of God, and the good of your own soul; and fear not, if you ask counsel of God in faith nothing wavering, that he will give you freedom of mind, either to accept or refuse as will be most profitable for you.

I do not wonder that your soul is at present distracted with worldly thoughts. An affair of this kind always occasions a thousand distractions, especially where it is in suspense. I fear your increase of company does not at all add to your spiritual happiness. The Lord Jesus bless you: I pity you. What need have we of continual assistance from above? How do we walk as on burning coals? O let us strive for that state of mind, in which we can say, nothing gives me pain but what is contrary to the will of God, and tends to draw my soul from him; and nothing gives me pleasure, but as it is agreeable to his will, and tends to draw my soul nearer to him. _Amen._

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_My dear Soul_,