Part 3
The providence of God was remarkable in so ordering it, that before his death he should take a journey to Boston; which was of very happy consequence to the interest of religion, and especially among his own people. By this means, as has been observed, he was brought into acquaintance with many persons of note and influence, ministers, and others, belonging both to the town and various parts of the country; and had opportunity under the best advantages, to bear a testimony for God and true religion.
The providence of God was observable in his going to Boston at a time when not only the honourable commissioners were seeking missionaries, to the Six Nations, but just after his journal, which gives an account of his labours and success among the Indians, had been spread at Boston; whereby his name was known, and the minds of serious people were well prepared to receive him, and the testimony he gave for God; to exert themselves for upholding the interest of religion among his congregation, and among the Indians elsewhere; and to regard his judgment concerning the qualifications of missionaries. If he had gone there the fall before, (when he had intended it, but was prevented by a sudden increase of his illness) it would not have been to so good effect; and also if he had not been unexpectedly detained in Boston. When he went from my house he intended to make but a very short stay there; but divine Providence by his being brought so low there, detained him long: thereby to make way for the fulfilling its own gracious designs.
Thus, although it was the pleasure of God, that he should be taken away from his congregation; yet it was granted to him that before he died he should see them well provided for every way: he saw them provided for with one to instruct them, and take care of their souls; his own brother whom he could confide in; he saw a good foundation laid for the support of the school among them: those things that before were wanting, being supplied; and he had also opportunity to leave all his dying charges, with his successor in the care of his people, and by him to send his dying counsels to them.
*Another thing, wherein appears the merciful disposal of Providence, was that he did not die in the wilderness, among the savages at Kaunaumeek, or the Forks of Delaware, or at Susquahannah: but in a place where his dying behaviour might be observed, and some account given for the benefit of survivors: and also where care might be taken of him in his sickness, and proper honours done him at his death.
*I would not conclude my observations on the merciful circumstances of Mr. Brainerd’s death, without acknowledging with thankfulness, the gracious dispensation of Providence to me and my family in so ordering, that he (though the ordinary place of his abode was more than two hundred miles distant) should be cast to my house, in his last sickness, and should die here: so that we had opportunity for much conversation with him, and to shew him kindness in such circumstances, and to see his dying behaviour, to hear his dying speeches, to receive his dying counsels, and to have the benefit of his dying prayers. May God in infinite mercy grant, that we may ever retain a proper remembrance of these things, and make a due improvement of the advantages we have had! The Lord grant also, that the foregoing account may be for ♦the spiritual benefit of all that read it, and prove a happy means of promoting true religion in the world. Amen.
♦ duplicate word “the” removed
An EXTRACT of Miss _Mary Gilbert_’s JOURNAL.
TO THE READER.
1. AMONG the innumerable novelties which have appeared in the world, within half a century, I do not remember to have seen the experience of a child written by herself. Herein much variety is not to be expected, nor any art or ornament at all: as she set down from time to time, merely for her own use, just what occurred between God and her own soul. But on this very account, persons of understanding will set the greater value upon it: because it contains only genuine Christian experience, painted in its native colours.
2. The reflections occasionally interspersed, are always just, frequently strong and affecting: particularly those on death, or the shortness of life, especially from the mouth of a child. And the language wherein they are expressed, altho’ plain and altogether unstudied, is yet pure and terse in the highest degree, yea frequently elegant: such as the most polite either of our lawyers or divines would not easily alter for the better. Such language I hardly know where to find, unless in the almost inimitable letters of _Jane Cooper_: between whom and _Miss Gilbert_ there was a remarkable resemblance, both in sentiment and expression. And had it pleased the all-wise Disposer of all things, to give her a few more years on earth, and an increase of grace in proportion to her years, she would have been another _Jane Cooper_.
JOHN WESLEY.
_Liverpool_, April 7th, 1768.
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A short ACCOUNT of Miss MARY GILBERT.
THE ensuing account it is hoped may animate those who are in the morning of life, to a due improvement of their time, in _remembering their_ CREATOR _in the days of their youth_; so that they may offer him the first fruits of those precious moments, in which they are probationers for an awful eternity: and which when past, whether they have been employed in the important ♦task or not, are irrecoverably gone.
♦ “talk” replaced with “task” per Errata
If it has this happy effect, the desired end will be fully answered, which is, that God’s grace and saving power may be manifested, in additional instances, both of living and dying witnesses.
Miss Mary Gilbert, was the eldest daughter of _Nathaniel Gilbert_, of the island of _Antigua_, Esq; by his wife _Elizabeth_, both persons of good families and eminent piety, whose chief study it was to train up their children in the knowledge of God and his ways, according to the established religion of the _church_ of _England_.
She was born in the same island on the 28th of _February, 1751_, under the happy circumstance of having parents, who as they were wanting in no act of care and tenderness to their offspring, so took care in particular to make them like young _Timothy_, acquainted from their infancy with the _holy scriptures_. In the earliest dawn of reason she discovered an extraordinary capacity and uncommon understanding; a great willingness to learn; and a desire of being instructed, which often occasioned her to ask the most pertinent questions. Such a genius was observed by her parents with much gratitude, to him who is the author and dispenser of every good and perfect gift. Her natural disposition was a mixture of good and evil. She was a strict observer of truth, which appeared to arise from a nobleness of mind, which made her incapable of those meannesses from whence the vice of falshood springs. But as every flower in nature’s garden, however blooming needs improving, so did this principle in her; for as it was productive of some virtues, so it no less occasioned the greatest blemishes in her temper; such as high-spiritedness, pride and self-will; which notwithstanding the shining example of her parents, and their care to restrain, would, while she was very young often gain an ascendency.
In the year 1757, her father and mother made a voyage to _England_, (bringing this daughter and their other children with them) entirely upon a religious account, and in order to enjoy the company of some who were esteemed persons of remarkable piety and extensive usefulness, and with them to partake of those sacred privileges, with which their native island was not yet favoured. During their residence in _England_, she shewed the greatest delight in reading religious books, and in receiving the instruction of serious Christians, who were frequently entertained at her father’s house. So that what was recorded of the royal psalmist, might be asserted of her, _All_ her _delight was in the saints upon earth_. Her father’s affairs calling him back to _Antigua_, he, with his family left _England_, in the beginning of the year 1759, taking with them a person whose sentiments and abilities they approved of, to whose care they committed the education of their children, for whom their daughter Mary soon contracted a very tender affection; far from shunning the company of one that was to correct her faults, and whose presence must restrain the little levities of childhood. She for these very reasons, delighted in being constantly confined with her, even in those hours which she might have spent at play with her sisters. These seasons she employed in improving her mind, and having the liberty of retiring into a closet within her governess’s chamber, she would continue in it for a long time every day reading, praying, and meditating, and her remarks upon what she read, were often just, and instructive.
As soon as she had learned to write, she seldom failed noting down whatever appeared useful in any author she read; and having a very retentive memory, she stored it with scripture truths, so that many of her relatives and others, were greatly surprised at her readiness in repeating, and finding out almost any text in those sacred pages. She likewise wrote several books of well collected texts, in proof of some of the _fundamental doctrines_ of the church of England, such as, _The fallen state of man, the necessity of repentance, of the new birth, and of holiness_. Before she was twelve years of age, she corresponded with some persons in England, and her letters were much admired; tho’ as she grew older, her stile greatly improved, so that she had acquired both an easy and elegant manner of addressing different persons, and upon various occasions, tho’ religion was her constant theme: herein, as in other instances, endeavouring to redeem as much as possible the golden moments of her contracted span.
Thus she gently and profitably passed five years of her pilgrimage, without variation, and exempt from vicissitudes under her parents roof, till in the year 1764, they thought it most for her advantage to send her to _England_, to finish her education. Here she arrived the 28th of May that year: from that time boarding with an aunt, and being under the care of the same tutoress, who had before gone with her to _Antigua_. This separation from the best of parents, could not but prove an afflictive circumstance to one of her great sensibility, and who was a most dutiful and affectionate child; but this was alleviated by the pleasing hopes they gave her, that they themselves would soon come and reside in England, a thought which as it enabled her chearfully to bear their absence, so it animated her to a more than ordinary improvement of time, in order to render them the utmost satisfaction, when she should have the happiness of being restored to them; a period, which she often mentioned with the greatest delight; but which the infinitely wise disposer of events saw right never to indulge her with. It was with great pleasure that we observed, as her years increased, her good understanding, and the power of religion entirely prevailed over those tempers, which have before been mentioned, so that she became, every day more amiable, and was more endeared to all that knew her. On the first of January 1765, she began to keep a diary, chiefly consisting of the Lord’s dealings with her soul. This will give a juster conception of her understanding in the way of godliness, of her improvement of time, and the propriety of her sentiments on many occasions, than any thing that could be said upon the subject. She was one of those happy few, who are not afraid of being singularly pious, and was deeply convinced that the service of God is no impediment to, but the greatest augmentation of true happiness, in every period and circumstance of life. She had learned to disdain the follies of the world, always chusing plainness and neatness in dress, rather than gaiety and extravagance, and preferring an hour’s solitude, spent in communing with her own heart, or in searching the word of God, before all those trifling amusements, which so much engross the attention, and waste the time of the generality of persons of all ages.
Thus though young in years, she contemplated her latter end, and applied her heart unto true wisdom, and is now reaping the vast advantage in a blest eternity. She was so exercised in the needful duty of self-inspection, as to discern the imperfection of her best performances, and utterly to disclaim every other hope of obtaining the divine favour than that built on the sure foundation, Jesus Christ and him crucified. An interest in his atoning blood, was what she sincerely sought after; being truly sensible of the necessity of being born again, before we can enter into the kingdom of heaven. She thought the time long ere she was admitted into the glorious liberty of the children of God; and would greatly deplore her own instability, levity, and want of earnestness, to which she attributed her Lord’s delay; but these things tho’ felt by her tender and enlightened conscience, did not appear to others. And the Lord was not slack concerning his promise, as her following experience proved, when he came suddenly to the temple of her heart, never to leave her more. Some weeks before her last sickness she told a friend, that she had been greatly led out in the meditation of death, that she formerly considered it as very dreadful, but had of late seen it in a different view: so that if it would please God to finish his work in her soul, she could be content, young as she was, to give up all that were dear below, in hope of receiving them again in that eternal day. A few days before her disorder seized her, being asked by a friend, concerning the state of her soul, she said, “she had a confidence that God would not long with-hold the blessing, that she soon should know his pardoning love, and, that she was patiently waiting upon him.” As soon as she was taken ill, (which was on the 10th of January, 1768,) she was asked how she found her mind? She replied, “Quite composed, that she believed the Lord had visited her in love, and that whether it terminated in life, or death, it would be greatly to her advantage.” During the whole time of her illness not a doubt seemed to disturb her, nor did she ever lose her stedfast hope, that if she was taken, the Lord would perfect his work in her soul. She was also endued with a constant spirit of prayer, and to all around behaved with the utmost patience and meekness. She seldom complained, and declared she had not a murmuring thought, tho’ she appeared to suffer exquisitely; her disorder being a putrid fever, with a sore throat, which mortified some days before her dissolution: it was likewise attended with a deafness that encreased gradually, till at last there was no conversing with her. She was also deprived very early of speech, which as she retained her senses, rendered her situation very trying, as well as deprived her friends of that profit and satisfaction, which might otherwise have been expected. But on Thursday the 14th, (before the disease had made so great a progress, tho’ even then her speech was thick, and her hearing dull) she desired the whole family, would come and pray with her, and to some of her friends made this good confession: that she had found Christ, that she loved God, knowing that he had first loved her, that she was now neither afraid nor unwilling to die; and that she experienced unspeakable, and till now, unknown happiness. From this time she spoke but little, except about two days afterwards, when she said to one who desired her to speak to her, that she was perfectly resigned to the divine will; this she uttered with difficulty, and could add no more. But tho’ her lips were thus closed to all below, it was evident, her heart was open to God in prayer, which was discernable from the frequent lifting up of her hands and eyes with great devotion; in this posture she sweetly yielded up her spirit on the 21st instant, at the age of near 17 years.
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An EXTRACT from her JOURNAL.
TUESDAY, January 1st, 1765, when I awoke in the morning, I found my heart raised in thankfulness to God for his mercies, in bringing me to the beginning of another year; and found my soul much in the same frame all the day. *O! may this year be spent more to the glory of my Almighty Maker and Preserver, than the last has been: and may every thought, word and work, tend to this glorious end.
Wednesday 2, I found a blessing while dressing, but lost it by giving way to levity; yet the merciful Lord restored it to me in the evening: blessed be his name.
Thursday 3. I found my soul in a dead, dull frame, with a great disinclination to duty, which I did not yield to, and tho’ I found no immediate blessing, yet I doubt not, but the Lord was pleased with my endeavours to wait upon him.
Friday 4. I awoke with some degree of comfort, and had my thoughts stayed on the things of God. I found a desire, while I heard the book of martyrs read, of being like them; but could not submit to die for the truth as they did; it seemed too great a trial to flesh and blood: yet I trust was the Lord to call me to it, he would give me strength to bear it.
Saturday 5. I spent the morning in writing letters to my dear friends in Antigua, for whom I find the most tender affection. O! that we may all at length meet around the throne, and stand at the last day among the sheep at his right hand!
“O that each in the day Of his coming, might say, I have fought my way thro’. I have finished the work thou didst give me to do.”
Sunday 6. In the morning my thoughts were very wandering and my mind much discomposed. When I came up, I read and writ my journal, and spent the rest of the morning comfortably. In the afternoon I read the experience of Elizabeth West. May I like the bee suck honey out of every flower, gather profit out of every book I read, every sermon I hear, and every occurrence in life, let it seem ever so trifling. The evening text was Isaiah lviii. 1. _Cry aloud and spare not, &c._ The preacher shewed our transgressions in the most glaring colours, and my own conscience convicted me that I had done all which he had mentioned, and more too: so that were I to be tried by works, I could not be saved.
Monday 7. I found my heart raised in thankfulness for the mercies of the night past. O for a continuance of it! Surely had I always a deep sense of the innumerable obligations I owe to my Almighty benefactor, it would keep me from falling into many of those things, which are so prevalent over me. Lord give me a thankful heart.
Tuesday 8. I awoke in a serious frame, but it did not continue long; for I yielded too much to wandering thoughts, which robbed me of that blessing. Lord make me more watchful for the future! In the evening my uncle preached a funeral sermon, on, _It is appointed unto men once to die, &c._ Hebrews ix. 27. My soul was very much blest, and stirred up to seek the Lord, but O how soon do my good resolutions die away. They are like the morning cloud, and the early dew which passeth away. Lord strengthen, and confirm them.
Wednesday 9. I found my soul in a very dead frame, and continued so all the day. I may truly say,
“My drowsy powers why sleep ye so? Awake my sluggish soul! Nothing has half thy work to do. Yet nothing’s half so dull.”
Thou God of love quicken my drooping powers! Stir up and awaken my insensible soul, and give me to seek thy face with my whole heart! And O be thou found of me!
Thursday 10. I was very cold and dead all the day, and found neither power, nor inclination, to pray or read, which I yielded to; and passed the day without performing either of these duties. O my God, pardon my sins of omission, as well as those of commission. They are both as innumerable as the hairs of my head, but thy mercies are still more.
Friday 11. I was very busy this day with setting my things in order, which were come from London, and being in a hurry, my mind was not as stayed as I could have wished. O my God, gather in my scattered thoughts, and let my mind be fixt entire on thee!
Saturday 12. I was enabled, blessed be the Lord, to be serious and watchful. In the evening, Mr. Rodda preached. His text was Mark xii. 24. _Thou art not far from the kingdom of God._ I was much blest under the sermon, and my mind was stayed on what was delivered.
Sunday 13. In the evening, my uncle preached on _Isaiah xxx. 21._ _This is the way, walk ye in it._ I found my thoughts much composed, but being in great pain, I could not attend, as much as I found myself inclined to do. O how many hindrances have we while below! Sometimes from the world, sometimes from the infirmities of the body; and very often from a corrupt heart! Lord, do thou arm me with thy Spirit’s might, and enable me to combat and overcome, all the enemies of my salvation.
Monday 14. Our class met at ten as usual, but my soul was in a very wandering dead frame, and afterwards I was light and trifling; this is the natural consequence of the other, if not strove against.
Tuesday 15. I was in a very cold indifferent frame all the day. In the evening while my uncle catechised us, such a spirit of laughter came upon us, that we could hardly speak. Lord deliver us from a light, trifling spirit, as also from an unloving, disputing spirit.
“Mutual love the token be, Lord, that we belong to thee.”
In the evening my uncle preached on _Hosea xiv. 1, 2._ My soul was blest especially in singing the last hymn, in which are these sweet words.
“He’ll never quench the smoking flax, But raise it to a flame: The bruised reed he never breaks, Nor scorns the meanest name.”
Wednesday 16. I arose this morning with some degree of recollection and stayedness upon my spirit. It partly continued all the day; but in the evening, yielding to levity, I lost it. Lord, give me power over a trifling spirit! Give me a continual sense of thy presence! Then I shall not easily yield to this or any other temptation. I retired and read the 3d chapter of _Matthew_. Went to prayer, and found enlargement in it.