Part 19
I AM glad to write to you once more under the name of ****, and I hope God will give me strength to say all I wish at this important juncture. Important it is indeed to you; and the nearer the time approaches, the more I feel for you. Alas, you are now plunging into difficulties, which you can have no notion of until you experience them. You will have need of more than double watchfulness. Oh cry earnestly to God for grace and strength to keep your soul from sinking under the delusive arguments, which your three grand enemies, the world, the flesh, and the devil will be continually attacking you with in your new state of life. You know, my love, in all our intercourse, I have not failed to set before you the disadvantages and distractions you must necessarily meet with in a married life. This I thought it my duty to do, though your intentions in regard to marriage were always founded upon Christian motives. Had I found you inclined to dedicate yourself more particularly to God in a single state, I should doubtless have encouraged that inclination; but as this was not the case, and I did not dare absolutely to dissuade any one from marrying, I have therefore only strove to guard you against the evils attending that condition, and pray God grant you may find them overbalanced by the good. The first evil, which people are apt to fall into when they marry, is an extreme selfishness: this I have seen most flagrant instances of, but then the people were not Christians. Oh my friend, remember you have taken upon you the sacred name of Christian. The next thing which our sex in particular is very subject to, is a pretty indolence of soul, and a kind of hugging themselves as though they were become people of vast consequence; and then all they say or do, and every thing which belongs to them, is of importance. You will think perhaps there is no danger of your falling into any thing so low and silly as this; but do not think so, for without extreme watchfulness it will steal imperceptibly upon you, and if you once grow important, the flood-gates of worldly-mindedness will be set open, and your faith, your love, and peace, will be borne away by the impetuous torrent. The Lord Jesus bless you and keep you, and grant that in all the changes of this mortal life, your heart may there be fixed where true joys are to be found.
_Your ever-affectionate_
****
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_My dear Friend_,
I KNOW not how to assume to myself the character you mention, and yet I dare not neglect to do any thing, which you tell me may be of benefit to your soul. I know God can convey blessings by the meanest instrument, and relying wholly on his power and goodness, I enter again into this correspondence. You complain that I have not lately been so watchful over you as usual: In writing I certainly have not, and you know the reason; but as to speaking, if I have there failed, it is entirely owing to my being so apt to think highly of you. I fear in this I may have dealt with you as with my own heart――judged too favourably of both. May God give me a clearer insight both into you and into myself.
*I doubt not but your present condition contributes greatly to your being more in earnest, and you have need to lay up all the strength you can against what may be a time of trial indeed. I am glad you found such a blessing on Sunday. I doubt not but the greater degree of light and joy you have, the more you will be assaulted by temptations, and these perhaps not only of a strange, but also of an impertinent and ridiculous kind. The devil will sometimes play the buffoon: but I have found the best way of dealing with these temptations was not to combat them, but to let them pass through the mind, as you would let a troublesome croud of people pass by your door without regarding them.
*The speaking evil of your neighbour before you are aware, though it has not all the blackness of premeditated evil speaking, yet it is a sure sign, that you have not that spirit of love, without which the highest attainments are but as sounding brass, and as a tinkling cymbal. I often am sorry to see how much this divine temper is wanting amongst religious people. For my own part, I stand self-condemned in this, though it is a sin, which I have even a natural aversion to; and I fear there are but few hearts in which this root of bitterness does not grow almost imperceptibly. However, the Captain of our salvation can give us to tread even this enemy under our feet. Let us therefore go on, nothing discouraged, trusting in his help, and following his steps, until we apprehend, that for which we are apprehended of this divine leader.
_Your ever affectionate and faithful_, &c.
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_My dear Friend_,
*MR. _V._ has desired me to meet Dr. **** at his house; but though I honour the character of that worthy man, yet I rather _fear_, than _desire_ to do this. I really now dread the being set up as something to be thought well of. I see such a depth of pride and self-love in my own heart, that I dread any thing, which can give the least food to these hellish tempers. I am well satisfied, that there can be no perfect peace, no perfect love, till these be done away. Was not the blessed Jesus _meek_ and _lowly_ of heart? Was not he despised and rejected? And we? Oh, my dear love, tremble for yourself and for me. We are esteemed, admired, and sought after. Do we not, think you, tread upon burning coals? How dangerous, how difficult to act for the glory of God, without sacrificing something to self? And this self is all that separates from God――this self is all that keeps the blessings both of time and eternity from our souls. Oh let us learn, and know and feel, that we are nothing, and that God is all in all. Certain it is that unless we die with Christ, we cannot rise to his life. Unless we are crucified with him here, we cannot reign with him hereafter. Let us then nail our corrupt nature to his cross, and continually mortify every temper that is contrary to his perfect will. Suffer we must; but the love of God will make all sufferings sweet, and his grace will enable us to conquer all difficulties. I rejoice at the victory, which you tell me has been given you over (I suppose) some reigning sin. Is not this encouragement to press forward? If you would preserve constant peace and recollection, look more into your own heart, and lay not out yourself too much upon others. I have seen so much of the ill effects of this, that I dread it both for you and myself. Watch continually.
_Your ever affectionate_, &c.
****
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YOUR letter, my dear life, has given me great pleasure. This is indeed, as it ought to be. And Oh by no means suffer this anxious desire after God, this thirst after holiness to abate; only let it be mixed with that kind of resignation, which implies a willingness to suffer, so you may be kept from sin. The pain you speak of I rejoice in. Oh my love, this is right; and may you more and more be conformed to Jesus Christ, and him crucified. A soul thus pained, thus longing, thus struggling for salvation, and at the same time lying low at the foot of the cross, and crying, “Lord thy will be done,” is an object in which the holy angels rejoice, nay on which God himself looks down well pleased. To such a soul every gospel blessing is near at hand. The Sun of Righteousness is on the point of rising in it with healing in his wings; the eternal Comforter is ready to witness with it, that it is born of God, and to fill it with that peace, which passeth all understanding. The blessed and adorable Trinity is ready to raise it from its fallen state, and to perfect the new creation. What encouraging prospects! Only let not this happy pain be taken from you by any comfort the world can give, but hold it dear to your heart, as light to your eyes, till God himself change it to joy unspeakable.
*I have long thought that to wish for any thing, but the salvation of our own souls and that of others is wrong: because in nothing else can we be sure that our wishes are agreeable to the will of God. I do not know how to believe, that you could wish for more riches; and if the being pleased with the thoughts of gain proceeded only from this motive, that you thought God was putting it more in your power to relieve the necessities of others, I would not dare to condemn you: but it is so difficult to take any satisfaction of this kind without some mixture of worldly-mindedness, that we cannot be too careful in this respect; nay we ought rather to fear lest we should not be found faithful stewards of the talents put into our hands, as knowing, that both in spiritual and temporal blessings, “To whom much is given, of them shall much be required.”
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_My dear Friend_,
IF it should please God to make any thing I write of benefit to your soul, I should greatly rejoice, but without that my words will avail nothing. And really the account you give of yourself at present is so strange, that I know not how to speak to you, or whether harshness or love is most necessary. This I know, that my own soul is greatly pained for you, but I dare not flatter you, “If any man hath not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his;” and doubtless to take a pleasure in exposing the faults of others is a temper as distant from the Spirit of Christ, as hell is from heaven. *Believe me, my dear life, if the love of God reigned in your heart, you would rather cover than expose the faults even of the vilest of men. And when obliged for their own good, or the warning of others, to speak to the disadvantage of any one, you would do it with _fear_ and _caution_, at the same time looking up to God, lest any bitterness should mix, either with your thoughts or words. _God is love_, and infinite streams of love are perpetually flowing from him through all created nature. His acts of judgment as well as mercy are only acts of love, and designed either to remove or to lessen the evils occasioned by the fall of angels and of man; and the soul which is born of God will as necessarily partake of this divine principle of universal love, as the child you now carry within you partakes of your corrupt nature. You have great reason then to tremble, while this temper has any footing in your soul. Don’t sit down contented, because you have intervals of recollection, but wrestle mightily with God in fervent prayer, until he speak peace to your soul, and his love be shed abroad in your heart, before which this evil disposition will fly as a mist before the morning sun. You greatly affect me by what you say in regard to the expected hour of danger; but fear not. No creature on earth can be more unworthy than I am; and the God of mercy protected me, and gave me strength, and courage, and calmness; and I doubt not but he will shew the same mercy to you: nay I have a strong confidence he will in your hour of extremity give you a clearer sense of his pardoning love, than you have yet experienced. Fear not, only believe, “All things are possible to him that believeth.”
It has pleased God within these few days to give me a severe trial, and eternal glory be to his name, I have stood it, crying only, _Lord, thy will be done_. My little boy was taken on Saturday evening with strong convulsions, and between that time and Sunday evening, had I believe, full forty fits. He is now much better. God is ever merciful: he brings to the borders of the grave, and raises up again. O how good it is to suffer? How glorious to have grace triumph over nature? How sweet to lay low at the foot of the cross, and bless God for every thing which more conforms us to the suffering Jesus? Be watchful, and earnest. _Adieu._
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_My dear Friend_,
*WHERE the consideration of the prophecies is a means of stirring any one up to greater diligence, or making them sit looser to the things of this world, and seek more earnestly after the things of God, they cannot consider them too attentively. Every soul should carefully observe that way, in which God particularly leads it, and punctually follow every means which it finds by experience brings it nearer to God. Some are awakened and brought low by meditating on the severe judgments of God; others are melted down by reflecting on his mercies. Some are employed usefully to themselves, and it may be to others, by accurately considering the several amazing dispensations of God in the whole scheme of our redemption. Others by a more simple and general view of God, as infinite wisdom and infinite love, rest calmly on his will, and though in a lower and less shining way, pursue the same end, viz. salvation by the blood of the Lamb from the power as well as from the guilt of sin, and union with the pure fountain of all happiness. All these ways are good in themselves, and are made so to every soul, which in _them_ follows the leadings of the Spirit of God. But I may make that, which is good in itself, evil to me, by using it _only because_ another thinks it right, and not because I find it the means which most unites my soul to Christ; and therefore we ought never to blame any one for not being affected by that which affects us.
’Tis very certain that the judgments of God are now abroad in the earth, and that some of the signs of the last times plainly appear; this (whether the calculation in the letter be right or wrong) is obvious to every one, and calls aloud for seriousness and watchfulness. Happy are those who shall stand unmoved in the time of temptation. Happy are those who when all nature is agonizing around them can fly to the only rock of refuge, and there find shelter from the storm, and shadow from the heat. But above all happy are those, who shall have the glory of suffering for their Redeemer, of sealing their testimony with their blood, or in the midst of the fire shouting for joy, and blessing God for a martyr’s crown. These, these are glorious prospects, and weak as we are, should God honour us with a trial like this, he would also give us strength to be more than conquerors. In the mean time let us not be weary or faint in our minds, but manfully fight till we obtain complete victory over our evil hearts; and then shall we stand with humble confidence even before our judge, and though all nature was dissolved, we should remain unshaken, and be wholly swallowed up in joy full of glory. Amen, Lord Jesus.
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_My dear Friend_,
*I THANK you for your last letter, and I bless God, that you was not offended at mine. This bearing of plain-dealing is a comfortable proof to me of your sincerity. If temptations increase, God will give a proportionable increase of strength. There wants nothing but faithfulness on your part to the grace already given. I know not the particulars of your sufferings, but I know it is good to suffer. It is a discipline all must go through, who make any tolerable advance in the school of Christ. I could wish you to seek more after religion, than comfort. Constant and heart-felt resignation is a bulwark against every trial, and a foundation for solid peace, and joy transcendently pure. The whole state of a soul made perfect in love stands in that one petition, _Thy will be done_: and if we could but preserve that temper which these words describe, I know not what could hurt us. Suppose now when I first wake in a morning I should lift up my heart, “Lord I bless thee for this new day which thou hast given me. In this day I shall have fresh manifestations of thy will concerning me, either in comforts or in sufferings. Lord, I am thy creature, deal with me as it shall please thee: only leave me not to myself, but let thy grace be sufficient for me, and thy strength be made perfect in my weakness.” When settled in this frame of mind, suppose my trials to begin. I am tempted by the perverseness and evil tempers of my own family to impatience, to anger; but I immediately recollect myself, “Lord it is thy will I should bear this; pardon their perverseness, and give me to be thankful for every opportunity of self-denial and forbearance.” Well! now another, and more difficult trial appears. I am to behave to people, whom I know to be my bitter enemies, whom I know to be continually seeking occasions of evil against me, as if they were my dear friends. Here every faculty of the soul is alarmed, and nature shrinks back affrighted. But what does grace say? “Lord I thank thee for this glorious trial! What a blessing is it I should be permitted to drink of the same cup my Saviour drank of! Oh bless these mine enemies; fill their hearts with thy love; let thy will be perfected both in them and me.” This temptation is conquered, but another and a more trying one immediately succeeds. I am treated unkindly by people I love, and who are really my friends. Here my heart is wounded, it sinks, it is ready to faint; but recovering itself it rests upon God, and says, “Lord, even in this, thy will be done, and let the sufferings of Christ be perfected in me, that I may be also a partaker of his glory.” In this manner one might instance in all kinds of affliction, and find comfort and strength in each.
I know not how to think so meanly of you, as to imagine your heart in danger of being drawn away by the world. But I know I am always apt to set you in too high a light, and it may be so, in this case; this one thing however I am sure of, that we are fighting for eternity, and this against innumerable enemies, dangerous ones without, but far more dangerous ones within. If the Lord himself was not on our side, how could we maintain our ground one moment. To his almighty protection I commend you and yours, and am
_Your ever-affectionate_, &c.
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To the Rev. Mr. ****.
_Dear Sir_,
I AM much obliged to you for your kind concern on my account. My illness I believe is rather troublesome than dangerous, a disorder in my stomach, which has been attended with a slight fever. I was ill, when you and Mr. **** were to see me though I did not complain, and I looked upon it as a particular blessing: for had my spirits been in their full flow, an event so much wished, would have too much elated me: but my disorder served to keep the balance of my mind even. I see the goodness of God to me in every thing, and therefore sickness or health, life or death are equally welcome to me, as coming from the same gracious hand. Nature, its true, shrinks at suffering, but grace triumphs in resignation, and is thankful for the dispensation of the present moment, without wishing or willing in regard to the future. But I hope to learn some lessons of this kind from you next Sunday. Till then farewell, and may the fulness of every gospel blessing rest upon your soul.
_Your’s_, &c.
****
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_Dear Sir_,
THE judgments of God upon _Lisbon_ are dreadful indeed. I know not what heart can be hard enough to hear of them without concern. What but the amazing mercy of a long-suffering God can prevent _London_ from feeling the same dreadful blow! And if God should arise to shake terribly our land, what great reason will those persons have to be thankful, whom God has drawn from all worldly schemes of happiness, and fixed their hearts on a basis, which can never be shaken, though the earth be moved, and the mountains cast into the midst of the sea? I have been much comforted in respect of the miseries of others by this scripture――_When the judgments of God are abroad in the earth, the inhabitants thereof will learn righteousness_. If such a blessed end is produced by these severe acts of justice, have we not reason even in the midst of terror to admire and adore? The whole universe appears to me to be in the hand of God, as a grain of dust in the balance; and I, a creature more insignificant, more worthless, and sinful than can be conceived, am among the rest in this almighty hand, and _all is safe_. My heart is by nature painfully tender, and yet in the midst of feeling, either for myself or others, there is a secret satisfaction in my inmost soul, that God is glorified in every act of his providence, whether of judgment or mercy; and I hardly know how to form any other prayer than _Thy will be done_.
I fear I shall not see you on Thursday;――――but wherever you are, may the God of all consolation be your light and your shield, and bring you safe to that city, which has eternal foundations.
_I am your ever-obliged friend and servant_, &c.
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