CHAPTER XXXIV
I told the Christian reader in the beginning of the chapter which preceded my uncle _Toby’s_ apologetical oration, --though in a different trope from what I should make use of now, That the peace of _Utrecht_ was within an ace of creating the same shyness betwixt my uncle _Toby_ and his hobby-horse, as it did betwixt the queen and the rest of the confederating powers.
There is an indignant way in which a man sometimes dismounts his horse, which as good as says to him, “I’ll go afoot, Sir, all the days of my life, before I would ride a single mile upon your back again.” Now my uncle _Toby_ could not be said to dismount his horse in this manner; for in strictness of language, he could not be said to dismount his horse at all----his horse rather flung him----and somewhat _viciously_, which made my uncle _Toby_ take it ten times more unkindly. Let this matter be settled by state-jockies as they like. ----It created, I say, a sort of shyness betwixt my uncle _Toby_ and his hobby-horse. ----He had no occasion for him from the month of _March_ to _November_, which was the summer after the articles were signed, except it was now and then to take a short ride out, just to see that the fortifications and harbour of _Dunkirk_ were demolished, according to stipulation.
The _French_ were so backwards all that summer in setting about that affair, and Monsieur _Tugghe_, the Deputy from the magistrates of _Dunkirk_, presented so many affecting petitions to the queen, --beseeching her majesty to cause only her thunder-bolts to fall upon the martial works, which might have incurred her displeasure, --but to spare--to spare the mole, for the mole’s sake; which, in its naked situation, could be no more than an object of pity----and the queen (who was but a woman) being of a pitiful disposition, --and her ministers also, they not wishing in their hearts to have the town dismantled, for these private reasons, * * * * * * * * * * * ----
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ; so that the whole went heavily on with my uncle _Toby_; insomuch, that it was not within three full months, after he and the corporal had constructed the town, and put it in a condition to be destroyed, that the several commandants, commissaries, deputies, negociators, and intendants, would permit him to set about it. ----Fatal interval of inactivity!
The corporal was for beginning the demolition, by making a breach in the ramparts, or main fortifications of the town ----No, --that will never do, corporal, said my uncle _Toby_, for in going that way to work with the town, the _English_ garrison will not be safe in it an hour; because if the _French_ are treacherous ----They are as treacherous as devils, an’ please your honour, said the corporal ----It gives me concern always when I hear it, _Trim_, said my uncle _Toby_, --for they don’t want personal bravery; and if a breach is made in the ramparts, they may enter it, and make themselves masters of the place when they please: ----Let them enter it, said the corporal, lifting up his pioneer’s spade in both his hands, as if he was going to lay about him with it, --let them enter, an’ please your honour, if they dare. ----In cases like this, corporal, said my uncle _Toby_, slipping his right hand down to the middle of his cane, and holding it afterwards truncheon-wise with his forefinger extended, ----’tis no part of the consideration of a commandant, what the enemy dare, --or what they dare not do; he must act with prudence. We will begin with the outworks both towards the sea and the land, and particularly with fort _Louis_, the most distant of them all, and demolish it first, --and the rest, one by one, both on our right and left, as we retreat towards the town; ----then we’ll demolish the mole, --next fill up the harbour, --then retire into the citadel, and blow it up into the air: and having done that, corporal, we’ll embark for _England_. ----We are there, quoth the corporal, recollecting himself ----Very true, said my uncle _Toby_--looking at the church.
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