CHAPTER VIII

--_De gustibus non est disputandum_; --that is, there is no disputing against HOBBY-HORSES; and for my part, I seldom do; nor could I with any sort of grace, had I been an enemy to them at the bottom; for happening, at certain intervals and changes of the moon, to be both fidler and painter, according as the fly stings: --Be it known to you, that I keep a couple of pads myself, upon which, in their turns, (nor do I care who knows it) I frequently ride out and take the air; --though sometimes, to my shame be it spoken, I take somewhat longer journies than what a wise man would think altogether right. --But the truth is, --I am not a wise man; --and besides am a mortal of so little consequence in the world, it is not much matter what I do: so I seldom fret or fume at all about it: Nor does it much disturb my rest, when I see such great Lords and tall Personages as hereafter follow; --such, for instance, as my Lord A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, and so on, all of a row, mounted upon their several horses; --some with large stirrups, getting on in a more grave and sober pace; ----others on the contrary, tucked up to their very chins, with whips across their mouths, scouring and scampering it away like so many little party-coloured devils astride a mortgage, --and as if some of them were resolved to break their necks. ----So much the better--say I to myself; --for in case the worst should happen, the world will make a shift to do excellently well without them; and for the rest, ----why ----God speed them----e’en let them ride on without opposition from me; for were their lordships unhorsed this very night--’tis ten to one but that many of them would be worse mounted by one half before to-morrow morning.

Not one of these instances therefore can be said to break in upon my rest. ----But there is an instance, which I own puts me off my guard, and that is, when I see one born for great actions, and what is still more for his honour, whose nature ever inclines him to good ones; --when I behold such a one, my Lord, like yourself, whose principles and conduct are as generous and noble as his blood, and whom, for that reason, a corrupt world cannot spare one moment; --when I see such a one, my Lord, mounted, though it is but for a minute beyond the time which my love to my country has prescribed to him, and my zeal for his glory wishes, --then, my Lord, I cease to be a philosopher, and in the first transport of an honest impatience, I wish the HOBBY-HORSE, with all his fraternity, at the Devil.

“MY LORD,

“I maintain this to be a dedication, notwithstanding its singularity in the three great essentials of matter, form, and place: I beg, therefore, you will accept it as such, and that you will permit me to lay it, with the most respectful humility, at your Lordship’s feet, --when you are upon them, --which you can be when you please; --and that is, my Lord, whenever there is occasion for it, and I will add, to the best purposes too. I have the honour to be,

“_My Lord, Your Lordship’s most obedient, and most devoted, and most humble servant_,

TRISTRAM SHANDY.”

##