Part 21
1st Sops: ring! - - - —- 2nd Sophs: merrily, merrily, Oh, merrily, merrily
Chorus: Merrily ring the luncheon bell, the luncheon bell!
Princess: You say you know the court of Hildebrand? There is a Prince there — I forget his name —
Hilarion: Hilarion?
Princess: Exactly — is he well?
Hilarion: If it be well to droop and pine and mope, To sigh "Oh, Ida! Ida!" all day long, "Ida! my love! my life! Oh, come to me!" If it be well, I say, to do all this, Then Prince Hilarion is very well.
Princess: He breathes our name? Well, it's a common one! And is the booby comely?
Hilarion: Pretty well. I've heard it said that if I dressed myself In Prince Hilarion's clothes (supposing this Consisted with my maiden modesty), I might be taken for Hilarion's self. But what is this to you or me, who think Of all mankind with undisguised contempt?
Princess: Contempt? Why, damsel, when I think of man, Contempt is not the word.
Cyril: (Getting tipsy) I'm sure of that, Or if it is, it surely should not be!
Hilarion: (Aside to Cyril) Be quiet, idiot, or they'll find us out.
Cyril: The Prince Hilarion's a goodly lad!
Princess: You know him then?
Cyril: (Tipsily) I rather think I do! We are inseparables!
Princess: Why, what's this? You love him then?
Cyril: We do indeed — all three!
Hilarion: Madam, she jests! (Aside to Cyril) Remember where you are!
Cyril: Jests? Not at all! Why, bless my heart alive, You and Hilarion, when at the Court, Rode the same horse!
Princess: (Horrified) Astride?
Cyril: Of course! Why not? Wore the same clothes — and once or twice, I think, Got tipsy in the same good company!
Princess: Well, these are nice young ladies, on my word!
Cyril: (Tipsy) Don't you remember that old kissing-song He'd sing to blushing Mistress Lalage, The hostess of the Pigeons? Thus it ran:
SONG (Cyril) "Would you know the Kind of Maid"
(During symphony Hilarion and Florian try to stop Cyril. He shakes them off angrily.)
Cyril: Would you know the kind of maid Sets my heart aflame-a? Eyes must be downcast and staid, Cheeks must flush for shame-a! She may neither dance nor sing, But, demure in everything, Hang her head in modest way, With pouting lips, with pouting lips that seem to say, "Oh kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, Though I die of shame-a!" Please you, that's the kind of maid Sets my heart aflame-a! "Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, Though I die of shame-a!" Please you, that's the kind of maid Sets my heart aflame-a!
When a maid is bold and gay, With a tongue goes clang-a, Flaunting it in brave array, Maiden may go hang-a Sunflow'r gay and holly-hock Never shall my garden stock; Mine the blushing rose of May, With pouting lips, with pouting lips that seem to say, "Oh kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, Though I die for shame-a!" Please you, that's the kind of maid Sets my heart aflame-a! "Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, Though I die of shame-a!" Please you, that's the kind of maid Sets my heart aflame-a!
Princess: Infamous creature, get you hence away!
(Hilarion, Who has been with difficulty restrained by Florian during this song, breaks from him and strikes Cyril furiously on the breast.)
Hilarion: Dog! There is something more to sing about!
Cyril: (Sobered) Hilarion, are you mad?
Princess: (Horrified) Hilarion? Help! Why, these are men! Lost! lost! betrayed, undone! (Running on to bridge) Girls, get you hence! Man-monsters, if you dare Approach one step, I —- Ah! (Loses her balance and falls into the stream)
Psyche: Oh! Save her, sir!
Blanche: It's useless, sir — you'll only catch your death! (Hilarion springs in.)
Sach.: He catches her!
Melissa: And now he lets her go! Again she's in his grasp—
Psyche: And now she's not, He seizes her back hair!
Blanche: (Not looking) And it comes off!
Psyche: No, no! She's saved!—she's saved! she's saved!—she's saved!
FINALE, ACT II (Princess, Hildebrand, Melissa, Lady Psyche, Blanche, Cyril, Hilarion, Florian, Arac, Guron, Scynthius and Chorus of Girls and Men )
"Oh Joy! our Chief is Sav'd"
Girls: Oh joy! our chief is sav'd And by Hillarion's hand; The torrent fierce he brav'd, And brought her safe to land! For his intrusion we must own This doughty deed may well atone!
Princess: Stand forth ye three, Who-e'er ye be, And hearken to our stern decree!
Cyril, & Florian: Have mercy, O Lady Hilarion: Have disregard your Mer— oaths! cy!
Princess: I know no mercy, men in women's clothes! The man whose sacrilegious eyes Invade our strict seclusion, dies. Arrest the coarse intruding spies!
(They are arrested by the "Daughters of the Plough")
Girls: Have mercy, O lady — disregard your oaths.
Princess: I know not mercy, men in women's clothes!
(Cyril & Florian are bound)
SONG — Hilarion
Hilarion: Whom thou has chain'd must wear his chain, Thou canst not set him free, He wrestles with his bonds in vain Who lives by loving thee! If heart of stone for heart of fire, Be all thou hast to give, If dead to my heart's desire, Why should I wish to live?
Cyr & Flo: Have Girls: Have mercy, O Mer- lady! cy!
Hilarion: No word of thine — no stern command Can teach my heart to rove, Then rather perish by thy hand, Than live without thy love! A loveless life apart from thee Were hopeless slavery, Were hopeless slavery, If kindly death will set me free, Why should I fear to die?
Girls: Have mercy!
Hilarion: If kindly death
Girls: Have mercy!
Hilarion: will set me free, If kindly death will set me free, Why should I fear, Why should I fear to die?
(He is bound by two of the attendants, the three gentlemen are marched off.)
(Enter Melissa)
Melissa: Madam, without the castle walls An armed band Demand admittance to our halls For Hildebrand!
All: Oh, horror!
Princess: Defy them! We will defy them!
All: Too late — too late! The castle gate Is battered by them!
(The gate yields. Soldiers rush in. Arac, Guron, and Scynthius are with them, but with their hands handcuffed.
Men: Walls and fences scaling, Promptly we appear; Walls are unavailing, We have enter'd here. Female exaceration. Stifle if you're wise. Stop your lamentations, Dry your pretty, pretty
Girls: Rend the air with wailing. Men: eyes! Shed the shameful tear! Man has enter'd here. Walls are unavailing.
Girls: Rend the Men: Walls and air fences with scaling, wail——— Promptly we appear; ————— Walls are unavailing. ing. We have enter'd here. Shed Female exe- the cration. shame- Stifle if ful tear! you're wise. Man Stop your lament- has ation, en- Dry your pret- ter'd ty here! eyes. O Walls are stop your un- lament- a- ation, vail- Dry your pretty pretty ing. eyes! Female exe- Man cration. Stifle has if you're en- wise. Stop your lament- ter'd ation, Dry your pretty here! eyes.
(Enter Hildebrand)
RECITATIVE
Princess: Audacious tyrant, do you dare To beard a maiden in her lair?
Hildebd: Since you inquire, We've no desire To beard a maiden here, or anywhere!
Soldiers: No, no. We've no desire To beard a maiden here or anywhere!
SOLO — Hildebrand
Hildebd: Some years ago, No doubt you know (And if you don't I'll tell you so) You gave your troth Upon your oath To Hilarion my son. A vow you make You must not break, (If you think you may, it's a great mistake), For a bride's a bride Though the knot were tied At the early age of one! And I'm a peppery kind of King, Whose indisposed for parleying To fit the wit of a bit of chit, And that's the long and the short of it!
Soldiers: For he's a peppery kind of King, Whose indisposed for parleying To fit the wit of a bit of chit, And that's the long and the short of it!
Hildebd: If you decide To pocket your pride And let Hilarion claim his bride, Why, well and good, It's understood We'll let bygones go by— But if you choose To sulk in the blues I'll make the whole of you shake in your shoes. I'll storm your walls, And level your halls, In the winking of an eye! For I'm a peppery Potentate, Who's little inclined his claim to bate, To fit the wit of a bit of a chit, And thats the long and the short of it!
Soldiers: For he's a peppery Potentate, Whose indisposed for parleying, To fit the wit of a bit of chit, And that's the long and the short of it!
TRIO — Arac, Guron & Scynthius
All 3: We may remark, though nothing can Dismay us, That if you thwart this gentleman, He'll slay us. We don't fear death, of course — we're taught To shame it; But still upon the whole we thought We'd name it. (To each other) Scynthius: Yes!
Guron: Yes!
Arac: Yes!
All 3: Better p'r'aps to name it.
Our interests we would not press With chatter, Three hulking brothers more or less Don't matter; If you'd pooh-pooh this monarch's plan Pooh-pooh it, But when he says he'll hang a man, He'll do it. (To each other) Scynthius: Yes!
Guron: Yes!
Arac: Yes!
All 3: Devil doubt he'll do it.
Princess: Be reassured, nor fear his anger blind, His menaces are idle as the wind. He dares not kill you — vengeance lurks behind!
3 Knights: We rather think he dares, but never mind!
Hildebd: I 3 Knights: rather No! think I No! dare, but No! never, never mind! never never mind! Enough of No, parley no, never nev- as a er spe- mind! cial No! boon. no! never, never mind! We give you till tomorrow afternoon; Hildebd: Release Hilarion, then, And be his bride Or you'll incur the guilt of fratricide!
Princess: To yield at once to such a foe With shame we're rife; So quick! away with him, although He sav'd my life! That he is fair, and strong, and tall Is very evident to all, Yet I will die, Yet I will die, before I call myself his
Princess: All Others: wife! - —- Oh, yield at once, 'twere better so, - - - —- Than risk a strife! And let the Prince Hilarion go. He Saved thy life! That Hi- he is la-rion's fair and fair, strong and and tall, strong and tall, tall, Is - - - - - - - - - - - A very worse mis- evi- for- dent to tune all, might befall. Yet I will It's die, will die before I call not so dreadful after all, Myself his wife! To be his wife! Though I am but a girl Defiance thus I hurl Our banners all On outer wall We fearlessly unfurl
(The Princess stands, surrounded by girls kneeling. Hildebrand and soldiers stand on built rocks at back and sides of stage. Picture.) END OF ACT II
## ACT III
SCENE — Outer Walls and Courtyard of Castle Adamant. Melissa, SachaRissa, and ladies discovered, armed with battleaxes.
CHORUS "Death to the Invader!"
Chorus: Death to the invader! Strike a deadly blow, As an old Crusader Struck his Paynim foe! Let our martial thunder Fill his soul with wonder, Tear his ranks asunder, Lay the tyrant low! Death to the invader! Strike a deadly blow, As an old Crusader Struck his Paynim foe!
Melissa: Thus our courage, all untarnish'd, We're instructed to display; But to tell the truth unvarnish'd, We are more inclined to say, "Please you, do not hurt us,"
All: "Do not hurt us, if it please you!"
Melissa: "Please you let us be."
All: "Let us be — let us be!"
Melissa: "Soldiers disconcert us."
All: "Disconcert us, if it please you!"
Melissa: "Frighten'd maids are we!"
All: "Maids are we, maids are we!"
Melissa: Please you,
All: Do not hurt us;
Melissa: Please you,
All: Let us be.
Mel & Cho: Frighten'd maids are we, frighten'd maids are we!
Melissa: But 'twould be an error To confess our terror, So in Ida's name, Boldly we exclaim:
Mel & Cho: Death to the invader! Strike a deadly blow, As an old Crusader Struck his Paynim foe!
(Flourish. Enter Princess, armed, attended by Blanche and Psyche.)
Princess: I like your spirit, girls! We have to meet Stern bearded warriors in fight to-day; Wear naught but what is necessary to Preserve your dignity before their eyes, And give your limbs full play.
Blanche: One moment, ma'am, Here is a paradox we should not pass Without inquiry. We are prone to say "This thing is Needful — that, Superfluous"— Yet they invariably co-exist! We find the Needful comprehended in The circle of the grand Superfluous, Yet the Superfluous cannot be brought Unless you're amply furnished with the Needful. These singular considerations are—
Princess: Superfluous, yet not Needful — so you see The terms may independently exist. (To Ladies) Women of Adamant, we have to show That women, educated to the task, Can meet Man, face to face, on his own ground, And beat him there. Now, let us set to work; Where is our lady surgeon?
Sach.: Madam, here!
Princess: We shall require your skill to heal the wounds Of those that fall.
Sach.: (Alarmed) What, heal the wounded?
Princess: Yes!
Sach.: And cut off real live legs and arms?
Princess: Of course!
Sach.: I wouldn't do it for a thousand pounds!
Princess: Why, how is this? Are you faint-hearted, girl? You've often cut them off in theory!
Sach.: In theory I'll cut them off again With pleasure, and as often as you like, But not in practice.
Princess: Coward! Get you hence, I've craft enough for that, and courage too, I'll do your work! My fusiliers, advance!, Why, you are armed with axes! Gilded toys! Where are your rifles, pray?
Chloe: Why, please you, ma'am, We left them in the armoury, for fear That in the heat and turmoil of the fight, They might go off!
Princess: "They might!" Oh, craven souls! Go off yourselves! Thank heaven I have a heart That quails not at the thought of meeting men; I will discharge your rifles! Off with you!
(Exit Chloe) Where's my bandmistress?
Ada: Please you, ma'am, the band Do not feel well, and can't come out today!
Princess: Why, this is flat rebellion! I've no time To talk to them just now. But, happily, I can play several instruments at once, And I will drown the shrieks of those that fall With trumpet music, such as soldiers love! How stand we with respect to gunpowder? My Lady Psyche — you who superintend Our lab'ratory — are you well prepared To blow these bearded rascals into shreds?
Psyche: Why, madam—
Princess: Well?
Psyche: Let us try gentler means. We can dispense with fulminating grains While we have eyes with which to flash our rage! We can dispense with villainous saltpetre While we have tongues with which to blow them up! We can dispense, in short, with all the arts That brutalize the practical polemist!
Princess: (Contemptuously) I never knew a more dispensing chemist! Away, away — I'll meet these men alone Since all my women have deserted me!
(Exeunt all but Princess, singing refrain of "Please you, do not hurt us", pianissimo.)
Princess: So fail my cherished plans — so fails my faith— And with it hope, and all that comes of hope!
Song - Princess "I Built upon a Rock"
Princess: I built upon a rock, But ere Destruction's hand Dealt equal lot To Court and cot, My rock had turn'd to sand! I leant upon an oak, But in the hour of need, Alack-a-day, My trusted stay Was but a bruis-ed reed! A bruis-ed reed! Ah faithless rock, My simple faith to mock! Ah trait'rous oak, Thy worthlessness to cloak, Thy worthlessness to cloak!
I drew a sword of steel But when to home and hearth The battle's breath Bore fire and death, My sword was but a lath! I lit a beacon fire, But on a stormy day Of frost and rime, In wintertime, My fire had died away, Had died away! Ah, coward steel, That fear can un-anneal! False fire indeed, To fail me in my need, To fail me in my need!
(Princess Sinks upon a rock. Enter Chloe and all the Ladies)
Chloe: Madam, your father and your brothers claim An audience!
Princess: What do they do here?
Chloe: They come To fight for you!
Princess: Admit them!
Blanche: Infamous! One's brothers, ma'am, are men!
Princess: So I have heard. But all my women seem to fail me when I need them most. In this emergency, Even one's brothers may be turned to use.
Gama: (Entering, pale and unnerved) My daughter!
Princess: Father! Thou art free!
Gama: Aye, free! Free as a tethered ass! I come to thee With words from Hildebrand. Those duly given I must return to blank captivity. I'm free so far.
Princess: Your message.
Gama: Hildebrand Is loth to war with women. Pit my sons, My three brave sons, against these popinjays, These tufted jack-a-dandy featherheads, And on the issue let thy hand depend!
Princess: Insult on insult's head! Are we a stake For fighting men? What fiend possesses thee, That thou has come with offers such as these From such as he to such an one as I?
Gama: I am possessed By the pale devil of a shaking heart! My stubborn will is bent. I dare not face That devilish monarch's black malignity! He tortures me with torments worse than death, I haven't anything to grumble at! He finds out what particular meats I love, And gives me them. The very choicest wines, The costliest robes — the richest rooms are mine. He suffers none to thwart my simplest plan, And gives strict orders none should contradict me! He's made my life a curse! (Weeps)
Princess: My tortured father!
SONG (King GAMA with CHORUS of GIRLS) "Whene'er I Spoke"
Gama: Whene'er I poke Sarcastic joke Replete with malice spiteful, This people mild Politely smil'd, And voted me delightful!
Now, when a wight Sits up all night Ill-natur'd jokes devising, And all his wiles Are met with smiles It's hard, there's no disguising!
Ah! Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong, And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!
Chorus: Oh, isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!
Gama: When German bands From music stands Play'd Wagner imperfectly — I bade them go— They didn't say no, But off they went directly! The organ boys They stopp'd their noise, With readiness surprising, And grinning herds Of hurdy-gurds Retired apologising! Ah! Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong, And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!
Chorus: Oh, isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!
Gama: I offer'd gold In sums untold To all who'd contradict me— I said I'd pay A pound a day To any one who kick'd me— I've brib'd with toys Great vulgar boys To utter something spiteful, But, bless you, no! They would be so Confoundedly politeful!
Ah! In short, these aggravating lads, They tickle my tastes, they feed my fads, They give me this and they give me that, And I've nothing whatever to grumble at!
Chorus: Oh, isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!
(Gama Bursts into tears and falls sobbing on a seat.)
Princess: My poor old father! How he must have suffered! Well, well, I yield!
Gama: (Hysterically) She yields! I'm saved, I'm saved! (Exit)
Princess: Open the gates — admit these warriors, Then get you all within the castle walls. (Exit)
(The gates are opened and the Girls mount the battlements as the Soldiers enter. Arac, Guron and Scynthius also enter.)
Chorus of Soldiers "When anger spreads his wing"
Chorus: When anger spread his wing, And all seems dark as night for it, There's nothing but to fight for it, But ere you pitch your ring, Select a pretty site for it, (This spot is suited quite for it,) And then you gaily sing, And then you gaily sing:
"Oh I love the jolly rattle Of an orde-al by battle, There's an end of tittle-tattle When your enemy is dead. It's an arrant molly-coddle Fears a crack upon his noddle And he's only fit to swaddle In a downy feather-bed!
Ladies: For a Soldiers: Oh, I fight's love the a jolly kind rattle of Of an thing orde-al by battle That I There's an love end of to tittle look tattle, up- When your on, enemy is dead. So It's an let arrant us molly- sing, coddle Long Fears a live crack upon the his King, noddle, And his And he's son only fit to Hi- swaddle, In a la- downy fea- ri-on! ther bed!
(During this, Hilarion, Florian, and Cyril are brought out by the "Daughters of the Plough". They are still bound and wear the robes.
Enter GAMA.)
Gama: Hilarion! Cyril! Florian! dressed as women! Is this indeed Hilarion?
Hilar.: Yes, it is!
Gama: Why, you look handsome in your women's clothes! Stick to 'em! Men's attire becomes you not! (To CYRIL and FLORIAN) And you, young ladies, will you please to pray King Hildebrand to set me free again? Hang on his neck and gaze into his eyes, He never could resist a pretty face!
Hilar.: You dog, you'll find, though I wear woman's garb, My sword is long and sharp!
Gama: Hush, pretty one! Here's a virago! Here's a termagant! If length and sharpness go for anything, You'll want no sword while you can wag your tongue!
Cyril: What need to waste your words on such as he? He's old and crippled.
Gama: Aye, but I've three sons, Fine fellows, young and muscular, and brave, They're well worth talking to! Come, what d'ye say?
Arac: Aye, pretty ones, engage yourselves with us, If three rude warriors affright you not!
Hilar.: Old as you are, I'd wring your shrivelled neck If you were not the Princess Ida's father.
Gama: If I were not the Princess Ida's father, And so had not her brothers for my sons, No doubt you'd wring my neck — in safety too! Come, come, Hilarion, begin, begin! Give them no quarter — they will give you none. You've this advantage over warriors Who kill their country's enemies for pay,— You know what you are fighting for — look there! (Pointing to Ladies on the battlements)
(Exit Gamma. Hilarion, Florian, and Cyril are led off.)
SONG (Arac, Guron, Scynthius and Chorus) "This Helmet, I Suppose"
Arac: This helmet, I suppose, Was meant to ward off blows, It's very hot And weighs a lot, As many a guardsman knows, As many a guardsman knows, As many a guardsman knows, As many a guardsman knows, So off, so off that helmet goes.
Others: Yes, yes, yes, So off that helmet goes!
(Giving their helmets to attendants)
Arac: This tight-fitting cuirass Is but a useless mass, It's made of steel, And weighs a deal, This tight-fitting cuirass Is but a useless mass, A man is but an ass Who fights in a cuirass, So off, so off goes that cuirass.
Others: Yes, yes, yes, So off goes that cuirass! (Removing cuirasses)
Arac: These brassets, truth to tell, May look uncommon well, But in a fight They're much too tight, They're like a lobster shell, They're like a lobster shell!
Others: Yes, yes, yes, They're like a lobster shell. (Removing their brassets)