Part 34
All.: Oh sweet surprise—oh, dear delight, To find it undisputed quite, All musty, fusty rules despite That Art is wrong and Nature right!
Nek.: When happy I, With laughter glad I'll wake the echoes fairly, And only sigh When I am sad— And that will be but rarely!
Kal.: I'll row and fish, And gallop, soon— No longer be a prim one— And when I wish To hum a tune, It needn't be a hymn one?
Gold and Lord D.: No, no! It needn't be a hymn one!
All (dancing): Oh, sweet surprise and dear delight To find it undisputed quite— All musty, fusty rules despite— That Art is wrong and Nature right!
(Dance, and off) (Enter Lady Sophy)
RECITATIVE — Lady Sophy.
Oh, would some demon power the gift impart To quell my over-conscientious heart— Unspeak the oaths that never had been spoken, And break the vows that never should be broken!
SONG — Lady Sophy
When but a maid of fifteen year, Unsought—unplighted— Short petticoated—and, I fear, Still shorter-sighted— I made a vow, one early spring, That only to some spotless King Who proof of blameless life could bring I'd be united. For I had read, not long before, Of blameless kings in fairy lore, And thought the race still flourished here— Well, well— I was a maid of fifteen year!
(The King enters and overhears this verse)
Each morning I pursued my game (An early riser); For spotless monarchs I became An advertiser: But all in vain I searched each land, So, kingless, to my native strand Returned, a little older, and A good deal wiser!
I learnt that spotless King and Prince Have disappeared some ages since— Even Paramount's angelic grace— Ah me!— Is but a mask on Nature's face! (King comes forward)
King: Ah, Lady Sophy—then you love me! For so you sing—
Lady S.: (Indignant and surprise. Producing "Palace Peeper") No, by the stars that shine above me, Degraded King! For while these rumours, through the city bruited, Remain uncontradicted, unrefuted, The object thou of my aversion rooted, Repulsive thing!
King: Be just—the time is now at hand When truth may published be. These paragraphs were written and Contributed by me!
Lady S.: By you? No, no!
King: Yes, yes. I swear, by me! I, caught in Scaphio's ruthless toil, Contributed the lot!
Lady S.: That that is why you did not boil The author on the spot!
King: And that is why I did not boil The author on the spot!
Lady S.: I couldn't think why you did not boil!
King: But I know why I did not boil The author on the spot!
DUET — Lady Sophy and King
Lady S.: Oh, the rapture unrestrained Of a candid retractation! For my sovereign has deigned A convincing explanation— And the clouds that gathered o'er All have vanished in the distance, And of Kings of fairy lore One, at least, is in existence!
King: Oh, the skies are blue above, And the earth is red and rosal, Now the lady of my love Has accepted my proposal! For that asinorum pons I have crossed without assistance, And of prudish paragons One, at least, is in existence!
(King and Lady Sophy dance gracefully. While this is going on Lord Dramaleigh enters unobserved with Nekaya and Capt. Fitzbattleaxe. The two girls direct Zara's attention to the King and Lady Sophy, who are still dancing affectionately together. At this point the King kisses Lady Sophy, which causes the Princesses to make an exclamation. The King and Lady Sophy are at first much confused at being detected, but eventually throw off all reserve, and the four couples break into a wild Tarantella, and at the end exeunt severally.)
Enter all the male Chorus, in great excitement, from various entrances, led by Scaphio, Phantis, and Tarara, and followed by the female Chorus.
CHORUS.
Upon our sea-girt land At our enforced command Reform has laid her hand Like some remorseless ogress— And made us darkly rue The deeds she dared to do— And all is owing to Those hated Flowers of Progress!
So down with them! So down with them! Reform's a hated ogress. So down with them! So down with them! Down with the Flowers of Progress!
(Flourish. Enter King, his three daughters, Lady Sophy, and the Flowers of Progress.)
King: What means this most unmannerly irruption? Is this your gratitude for boons conferred?
Scaphio: Boons? Bah! A fico for such boons, say we! These boons have brought Utopia to a standstill! Our pride and boast—the Army and the Navy— Have both been reconstructed and remodeled Upon so irresistible a basis That all the neighboring nations have disarmed— And War's impossible! Your County Councillor Has passed such drastic Sanitary laws That all doctors dwindle, starve, and die! The laws, remodeled by Sir Bailey Barre, Have quite extinguished crime and litigation: The lawyers starve, and all the jails are let As model lodgings for the working-classes! In short—Utopia, swamped by dull Prosperity, Demands that these detested Flowers of Progress Be sent about their business, and affairs Restored to their original complexion!
King: (to Zara) My daughter, this is a very unpleasant state of things. What is to be done?
Zara: I don't know—I don't understand it. We must have omitted something.
King: Omitted something? Yes, that's all very well, but—-(Sir Bailey Barre whispers to Zara.)
Zara: (suddenly) Of course! Now I remember! Why, I had forgot-ten the most essential element of all!
King: And that is?—-
Zara: Government by Party! Introduce that great and glorious element—at once the bulwark and foundation of England's greatness—and all will be well! No political measures will endure, because one Party will assuredly undo all that the other Party has done; and while grouse is to be shot, and foxes worried to death, the legislative action of the coun-try will be at a standstill. Then there will be sickness in plenty, endless lawsuits, crowded jails, interminable confu-sion in the Army and Navy, and, in short, general and unex-ampled prosperity!
All: Ulahlica! Ulahlica!
Phantis: (aside) Baffled!
Scaphio: But an hour will come!
King: Your hour has come already—away with them, and let them wait my will! (Scaphio and Phantis are led off in custody.) From this moment Government by Party is adopted, with all its attendant blessings; and henceforward Utopia will no longer be a Monarchy Limited, but, what is a great deal better, a Limited Monarchy!
FINALE
Zara: There's a little group of isles beyond the wave— So tiny, you might almost wonder where it is— That nation is the bravest of the brave, And cowards are the rarest of all rarities. The proudest nations kneel at her command; She terrifies all foreign-born rapscallions; And holds the peace of Europe in her hand With half a score invincible battalions!
Such, at least, is the tale Which is born on the gale, From the island which dwells in the sea. Let us hope, for her sake That she makes no mistake— That she's all the professes to be!
King: Oh, may we copy all her maxims wise, And imitate her virtues and her charities; And may we, by degrees, acclimatize Her Parliamentary peculiarities! By doing so, we shall in course of time, Regenerate completely our entire land— Great Britain is the monarchy sublime, To which some add (others do not) Ireland. Such at least is the tale, etc.
CURTAIN.
THE YEOMEN OF THE GUARD or
The Merryman and His Maid Book by W.S. GILBERT
Music by ARTHUR SULLIVAN First produced at the Savoy Theatre in London, England, on October 3, 1888.
THE YEOMEN OF THE GUARD DRAMATIS PERSONAE SIR RICHARD CHOLMONDELEY [pronounced Chum'lee] (Lieutenant of the Tower) Baritone
COLONEL FAIRFAX (under sentence of death) Tenor
SERGEANT MERYLL (of the Yeomen of the Guard) Bass/Baritone
LEONARD MERYLL (his son) Tenor
JACK POINT (a Strolling Jester) Light Baritone
WILFRED SHADBOLT (Head Jailer and Assistant Tormentor) Bass/Baritone
THE HEADSMAN Non-singing
FIRST YEOMAN Baritone
SECOND YEOMAN Tenor
THIRD YEOMAN [optional] Baritone
FOURTH YEOMAN [optional] Tenor
FIRST CITIZEN Chorus
SECOND CITIZEN Chorus
ELSIE MAYNARD (a Strolling Singer) Soprano
PHOEBE MERYLL (Sergeant Meryll's Daughter) Mezzo-Soprano
DAME CARRUTHERS (Housekeeper to the Tower) Contralto
KATE (her Niece) Soprano Chorus of YEOMEN of the Guard, GENTLEMEN, CITIZENS, etc. SCENE: Tower Green
16th Century
## ACT I
[Scene.— Tower Green]
[Phoebe discovered spinning.
No. 1. When maiden loves, she sits and sighs (INTRODUCTION and SONG) Phoebe
PHOEBE When maiden loves, she sits and sighs, She wanders to and fro; Unbidden tear-drops fill her eyes, And to all questions she replies, With a sad "Heigh-ho!"
'Tis but a little word—"Heigh-ho!" So soft, 'tis scarcely heard—"Heigh-ho!" An idle breath— Yet life and death May hang upon a maid's "Heigh-ho!"
When maiden loves, she mopes apart, As owl mopes on a tree; Although she keenly feels the smart, She cannot tell what ails her heart, With its sad "Ah, me!"
'Tis but a foolish sigh—"Ah, me!" Born but to droop and die—"Ah, me!" Yet all the sense Of eloquence Lies hidden in a maid's "Ah, me!"
Yet all the sense Of eloquence Lies hidden in a maid's "Ah, me!" "Ah, me!", "Ah, me!"
Yet all the sense Of eloquence Lies hidden in a maid's "Ah, me!"
[PHOEBE weeps
[Enter WILFRED
WILFRED Mistress Meryll!
PHOEBE [looking up] Eh! Oh! it's you, is it? You may go away,if you like. Because I don't want you, you know.
WILFRED Haven't you anything to say to me?
PHOEBE Oh yes! Are the birds all caged? The wild beasts all littered down? All the locks, chains, bolts, and bars in good order? Is the Little Ease sufficiently comfortable? The racks, pincers, and thumbscrews all ready for work? Ugh! you brute!
WILFRED These allusions to my professional duties are in doubtful taste. I didn't become a head-jailer because I like head-jailing. I didn't become an assistant- tormentor because I like assistant-tormenting. We can't all be sorcerers, you know. [PHOEBE is annoyed] Ah! you brought that upon yourself.
PHOEBE Colonel Fairfax is not a sorcerer. He's a man of science and an alchemist.
WILFRED Well, whatever he is, he won't be one for long, for he's to be beheaded to-day for dealings with the devil. His master nearly had him last night, when the fire broke out in the Beauchamp [pronounced Bee'cham] Tower.
PHOEBE Oh! how I wish he had escaped in the confusion! But take care; there's still time for a reply to his petition for mercy.
WILFRED Ah! I'm content to chance that. This evening at half- past seven— ah! [Gesture of chopping off a head.]
PHOEBE You're a cruel monster to speak so unfeelingly of the death of a young and handsome soldier.
WILFRED Young and handsome! How do you know he's young and handsome?
PHOEBE Because I've seen him every day for weeks past taking his exercise on the Beauchamp [pronounced Bee'cham] Tower.
WILFRED Curse him!
PHOEBE There, I believe you're jealous of him, now. Jealous of a man I've never spoken to! Jealous of a poor soul who's to die in an hour!
WILFRED I am! I'm jealous of everybody and everything. I'm jealous of the very words I speak to you— because they reach your ears— and I mustn't go near 'em!
PHOEBE How unjust you are! Jealous of the words you speak to me! Why, you know as well as I do that I don't even like them.
WILFRED You used to like 'em.
PHOEBE I used to pretend I like them. It was mere politeness to comparative strangers.
[Exit PHOEBE, with spinning wheel
WILFRED I don't believe you know what jealousy is! I don't believe you know how it eats into a man's heart— and disorders his digestion— and turns his interior into boiling lead. Oh, you are a heartless jade to trifle with the delicate organization of the human interior.
No. 1A. When jealous torments (OPTIONAL SONG) Wilfred
WILFRED When jealous torments rack my soul, My agonies I can't control, Oh, better sit on red hot coal Than love a heartless jade.
The red hot coal will hurt no doubt, But red hot coals in time die out, But jealousy you can not rout, Its fires will never fade.
It's much less painful on the whole To go and sit on red hot coal 'Til you're completely flayed, Or ask a kindly friend to crack Your wretched bones upon the rack Than love a heartless jade, Than love a heartless jade.
The kerchief on your neck of snow I look on as a deadly foe, It goeth where I dare not go And stops there all day long.
The belt that holds you in its grasp Is to my peace of mind a rasp, It claspeth what I can not clasp, Correct me if I'm wrong.
It's much less painful on the whole To go and sit on red hot coal 'Til you're completely flayed, Or ask a kindly friend to crack Your wretched bones upon the rack Than love a heartless jade, Than love a heartless jade.
The bird that breakfasts on your lip, I would I had him in my grip, He sippeth where I dare not sip, I can't get over that.
The cat you fondle soft and sly, He layeth where I dare not lie. We're not on terms, that cat and I. I do not like that cat.
It's much less painful on the whole To go and sit on red hot coal 'Til you're completely flayed, Or ask a kindly friend to crack Your wretched bones upon the rack Than love a heartless jade, Than love a heartless jade.
Or ask a kindly friend to crack Your wretched bones upon the rack Than love a heartless jade.
[Exit WILFRED. Enter people excitedly, followed by YEOMEN of the Guard with SERGEANT MERYLL at rear.
No. 2. Tower warders, Under orders (Double Chorus) CROWD and YEOMEN, with Solo 2ND YEOMEN
CROWD Tower warders, Under orders, Gallant pikemen, valiant sworders! Brave in bearing, Foemen scaring, In their bygone days of daring! Ne'er a stranger There to danger— Each was o'er the world a ranger; To the story Of our glory Each a bold, a bold contributory!
YEOMEN In the autumn of our life, Here at rest in ample clover, We rejoice in telling over Our impetuous May and June. In the evening of our day, With the sun of life declining, We recall without repining All the heat of bygone noon, We recall without repining All the heat, We recall, recall All of bygone noon.
2ND YEOMAN This the autumn of our life, This the evening of our day; Weary we of battle strife, Weary we of mortal fray. But our year is not so spent, And our days are not so faded, But that we with one consent, Were our loved land invaded, Still would face a foreign foe, As in days of long ago, Still would face a foreign foe, As in days of long ago, As in days of long ago, As in days of long ago.
YEOMEN Still would face a foreign foe, As in days of long ago.
CROWD Tower warders, Under orders, Gallant pikemen, valiant sworders! Brave in bearing, Foemen scaring, In their bygone days of daring!
CROWD YEOMEN
Tower warders, This the autumn of our life Under orders, Gallant pikemen, Valiant sworders Brave in bearing, This the evening of our day; Foemen scaring, In their bygone days of daring!
Ne'er a stranger Weary we of battle strife, There to danger Each was o'er the world a ranger:
To the story Weary we of mortal fray. Of our glory Each a bold, A bold contributory.
To the story This the autumn of our life. Of our glory Each a bold contributory! This the evening of our day, Each a bold contributory! This the evening of our day.
[Exit CROWD. Manent YEOMEN. Enter DAME CARRUTHERS.
DAME A good day to you!
2ND YEOMAN Good day, Dame Carruthers. Busy to-day?
DAME Busy, aye! the fire in the Beauchamp [pronounced Bee'cham] last night has given me work enough. A dozen poor prisoners— Richard Colfax, Sir Martin Byfleet, Colonel Fairfax, Warren the preacher-poet, and half-a- score others— all packed into one small cell, not six feet square. Poor Colonel Fairfax, who's to die to- day, is to be removed to no. 14 in the Cold Harbour that he may have his last hour alone with his confessor; and I've to see to that.
2ND YEOMAN Poor gentleman! He'll die bravely. I fought under him two years since, and he valued his life as it were a feather!
PHOEBE He's the bravest, the handsomest, and the best young gentleman in England! He twice saved my father's life; and it's a cruel thing, a wicked thing, and a barbarous thing that so gallant a hero should lose his head— for it's the handsomest head in England!
DAME For dealings with the devil. Aye! if all were beheaded who dealt with him, there'd be busy things on Tower Green.
PHOEBE You know very well that Colonel Fairfax is a student of alchemy— nothing more, and nothing less; but this wicked Tower, like a cruel giant in a fairy-tale, must be fed with blood, and that blood must be the best and bravest in England, or it's not good enough for the old Blunderbore. Ugh!
DAME Silence, you silly girl; you know not what you say. I was born in the old keep, and I've grown grey in it, and, please God, I shall die and be buried in it; and there's not a stone in its walls that is not as dear tome as my right hand. No. 3. When our gallant Norman foes (SONG WITH CHORUS) Dame Carruthers and Yeomen
DAME When our gallant Norman foes Made our merry land their own, And the Saxons from the Conqueror were flying,
At his bidding it arose, In its panoply of stone, A sentinel unliving and undying.
Insensible, I trow, As a sentinel should be, Though a queen to save her head should come a-suing, There's a legend on its brow That is eloquent to me, And it tells of duty done and duty doing.
The screw may twist and the rack may turn, And men may bleed and men may burn, O'er London town and its golden hoard I keep my silent watch and ward!
CHORUS The screw may twist and the rack may turn, O'er London town and all its hoard, And men may bleed and men may burn, O'er London town and all its hoard, O'er London town and its golden hoard I keep my silent watch and ward!
DAME Within its wall of rock The flower of the brave Have perished with a constancy unshaken. From the dungeon to the block, From the scaffold to the grave, Is a journey many gallant hearts have taken.
And the wicked flames may hiss Round the heroes who have fought For conscience and for home in all its beauty, But the grim old fortalice Takes little heed of aught That comes not in the measure of its duty.
The screw may twist and the rack may turn, And men may bleed and men may burn, O'er London town and its golden hoard I keep my silent watch and ward!
CHORUS The screw may twist and the rack may turn, O'er London town and all its hoard, And men may bleed and men may burn, O'er London town and all its hoard, O'er London town and its golden hoard I keep my silent watch and ward!
[Exeunt all but PHOEBE. Enter SERGEANT MERYLL.
PHOEBE Father! Has no reprieve arrived for the poor gentleman?
MERYLL No, my lass; but there's one hope yet. Thy brother Leonard, who, as a reward for his valour in saving his standard and cutting his way through fifty foes who would have hanged him, has been appointed a Yeoman of the Guard, will arrive to-day; and as he comes straight from Windsor, where the Court is, it may be— it may be— that he will bring the expected reprieve with him.
PHOEBE Oh, that he may!
MERYLL Amen to that! For the Colonel twice saved my life, and I'd give the rest of my life to save his! And wilt thou not be glad to welcome thy brave brother, with the fame of whose exploits all England is a-ringing?
PHOEBE Aye, truly, if he brings the reprieve.
MERYLL And not otherwise?
PHOEBE Well, he's a brave fellow indeed, and I love brave men.
MERYLL All brave men?
PHOEBE Most of them, I verily believe! But I hope Leonard will not be too strict with me— they say he is a very dragon of virtue and circumspection! Now, my dear old father is kindness itself, and——
MERYLL And leaves thee pretty well to thine own ways, eh? Well, I've no fears for thee; thou hast a feather- brain, but thou'rt a good lass.
PHOEBE Yes, that's all very well, but if Leonard is going to tell me that I may not do this and I may not do that, and I must not talk to this one, or walk with that one, but go through the world with my lips pursed up and my eyes cats down, like a poor nun who has renounced mankind— why, as I have not renounced mankind, and don't mean to renounce mankind, I won't have it— there! MERYLL Nay, he'll not check thee more than is good for thee, Phoebe! He's a brave fellow, and bravest among brave fellows, and yet it seems but yesterday that he robbed the Lieutenant's orchard.
No. 3A. A laughing boy (OPTIONAL SONG) Sergeant Meryll
MERYLL A laughing boy but yesterday, A merry urchin blithe and gay, Whose joyous shout came ringing out Unchecked by care or sorrow.
Today a warrior all sunbrown, When deeds of soldierly renown Are not the boast of London town, A veteran tomorrow, today a warrior, A veteran tomorrow!
When at my Leonard's deeds sublime, A soldier's pulse beats double time, And grave hearts thrill as brave hearts will At tales of martial glory.
I burn with flush of pride and joy, A pride unbittered by alloy, To find my boy, my darling boy, The theme of song and story, To find my darling boy The theme of song and story! To find my boy, my darling boy, The theme of song and story!
[Enter LEONARD MERYLL
LEONARD Father!
MERYLL Leonard! my brave boy! I'm right glad to see thee, and so is Phoebe!
PHOEBE Aye— hast thou brought Colonel Fairfax's reprieve?
LEONARD Nay, I have here a despatch for the Lieutenant, but no reprieve for the Colonel!
PHOEBE Poor gentleman! poor gentleman!
LEONARD Aye, I would I had brought better news. I'd give my right hand— nay, my body— my life, to save his!
MERYLL Dost thou speak in earnest, my lad?
LEONARD Aye, father— I'm no braggart. Did he not save thy life? and am I not his foster-brother?
MERYLL Then hearken to me. Thou hast come to join the Yeomen of the Guard!
LEONARD Well?
MERYLL None has seen thee but ourselves?
LEONARD And a sentry, who took scant notice of me.
MERYLL Now to prove thy words. Give me the despatch and get thee hence at once! Here is money, and I'll send thee more. Lie hidden for a space, and let no one know. I'll convey a suit of Yeoman's uniform to the Colonel's cell— he shall shave off his beard, so that none shall know him, and I'll own him as my son, the brave Leonard Meryll, who saved his flag and cut his way through fifty foes who thirsted for his life. He will be welcomed without question by my brother- Yeomen, I'll warrant that. Now, how to get access to the Colonel's cell? [To PHOEBE] The key is with they sour-faced admirer, Wilfred Shadbolt.