Part 10
Em ergo is argentum huc remisit, quod daretur Saureae pro asinis. adulescens venit modo, qui id argentum attulit.
Now then! He’s sent the money for ’em, to be paid to Saurea. A young chap’s just arrived with it.
_Lib._
Ubi is homost?
(_with a start_) Where is he?
_Leon._
Iam devorandum censes, si conspexeris?
Think he ought to be swallowed down the minute you spy him, eh?
_Lib._
Ita enim vero. sed tamen, tu nempe eos asinos praedicas vetulos, claudos, quibus subtritae ad femina iam erant ungulae? 340
Aye, that I do! But let me see, of course you mean those poor old lame asses with their hoofs worn away up to their hocks?
_Leon._
Ipsos, qui tibi subvectabant rure hue virgas ulmeas.
Precisely! the ones that used to come down from the farm with loads of elm rods for you.
_Lib._
Teneo, atque idem te hinc vexerunt vinctum rus.
I have you: yes, the same ones that carried you off to the farm in fetters.
_Lib._
Memor es probe, verum in tonstrina ut sedebam, me infit percontarier, ecquem filium Stratonis noverim Demaenetum. dico me novisse extemplo et me eius servom praedico esse, et aedis demonstravi nostras.
Remarkable memory, yours! However, when I was in the barber’s chair he speaks up and asks me if I know a Demaenetus, the son of Strato. I say yes at once, and declare that I’m his servant, and I told him where our house was.
_Lib._
Quid tum postea?
Well, what next?
_Leon._
Ait se ob asinos ferre argentum atriensi Saureae, viginti minas, sed eum sese non nosse hominem qui siet, ipsum vero se novisse callide Demaenetum. quoniam ille elocutus haec sic--
He says he’s bringing money for the asses to steward Saurea, eighty pounds; but that he doesn’t know the man at all: says he knows Demaenetus himself well, though. After he had given me an account of things this way--
_Lib._
Quid tum?
What next?
_Leon._
Ausculta ergo, scies. 350 extemplo facio facetum me atque magnificum virum, dico med esse atriensem. sic hoc respondit mihi: “ego pol Sauream non novi neque qua facie sit scio. te non aequomst suscensere. si erum vis Demaenetum, quem ego novi, adduce: argentum non morabor quin feras.”
Well, listen and you’ll find out. Instantly I pose as a fine, superior sort of creature and tell him I am the steward. Here’s the way he answered me: “Well, well,” says he, “I am not acquainted with Saurea personally and I don’t know what he looks like. You have no reason to take offence. Bring along your master Demaenetus whom I do know, if you please: I’ll let you have the money without delay.”
ego me dixi erum adducturum et me domi praesto fore; ille in balineas iturust, inde huc veniet postea. quid nunc consili captandum censes? dic.
I told him I would bring my master and be at home waiting for him. He’s going to the baths: then he’ll be here later. What do you propose now for a plan of campaign? Tell me.
_Lib._
Em istuc ago, quo modo argento intervortam et adventorem et Sauream. iam hoc opus est exasciato[10]; nam si ille argentum prius 360 hospes huc affert, continuo nos ambo exclusi sumus. nam me hodie senex seduxit solum sorsum ab aedibus, mihi tibique interminatust nos futuros ulmeos, ni hodie Argyrippo essent viginti argenti minae;
(_thinking_) That’s the point! Just what I’m casting about for--some way to relieve newcomer and Saurea of the cash. We must have our scheme roughed out at once; for let that stranger fetch his money before we’re ready and the next minute we’re both shut out of it. You see, the old man took me aside out of the house to-day all by myself: swore he’d made the pair of us perfectly elmy, if eighty pounds was not forthcoming for Argyrippus this very day.
iussit vel nos atriensem vel nos uxorem suam defraudare, dixit sese operam promiscam dare. nunc tu abi ad forum ad erum et narra haec ut nos acturi sumus: te ex Leonida futurum esse atriensem Sauream, dum argentum afferat mercator pro asinis.
He gave us orders to do the steward out of it, or else his wife: said he’d stand by us whichever it was. Now you be off to the forum to master and tell him what our game will be: that you are going to change from Leonida to steward Saurea when the trader brings the money for the asses.
_Leon._
Faciam ut iubes.
I’ll do as you say. (_moves off_)
_Lib._
Ego illum interea hic oblectabo, prius si forte advenerit. 370
I’ll entertain him here myself meanwhile, if he happens to come before you do.
_Leon._
Quid ais?
(_halting_) I say.
_Lib._
Quid vis?
What do you want?
_Leon._
Pugno malam si tibi percussero, mox cum Sauream imitabor, caveto ne suscenseas.
(_gravely_) In case I punch your jaw for you later on when I’m imitating Saurea, take care you don’t get angry.
_Lib._
Hercle vero tu cavebis ne me attingas, si sapis, ne hodie malo cum auspicio nomen commutaveris.
By gad, you’d just better take care yourself not to touch me, if you know what’s what, or you’ll find you’ve picked an unlucky day for changing your name.
_Leon._
Quaeso, aequo animo patitor.
Come, come, put up with it patiently.
_Lib._
Patitor tu item, cum ego te referiam.
Yes, and you put up with it when I hit you back.
_Leon._
Dico ut usust fieri.
I’m telling how it’s got to be done.
_Lib._
Dico hercle ego quoque ut facturus sum.
And by the Lord, I’m telling how I’m going to do it.
_Leon._
Ne nega.
Don’t refuse.
_Lib._
Quin promitto, inquam, hostire contra ut merueris.
Oh, I agree, I agree--to pay you back all you earn.
_Leon._
Ego abeo, tu iam, scio, patiere. sed quis hic est? is est, ille est ipsus. iam ego recurro huc. tu hunc interea his tene. volo seni narrare.
(_turning to go_) I’m off: you’ll put up with it now, I know you will. (_looking down street_) Hullo! Who’s this! It’s he, the very man! I’ll hurry back here soon! You keep him here while I’m gone. I must tell the old man. (_stops to look again_)
_Lib._
Quin tuom officium facis ergo ac fugis? 380
(_sneeringly_) Why don’t you play your part then, and--run away? [EXIT _Leonida_.
II. 3.
## Scene 3.
ENTER _Trader_, WITH SERVANT.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Ut demonstratae sunt mihi, hasce aedis esse oportet, Demaenetus ubi dicitur habitare. i, puere, pulta atque atriensem Sauream, si est intus, evocato huc.
(_looking at house of Demaenetus_) According to directions, this must be the house where they say Demaenetus lives. (_to servant_) Go knock, my lad, and if steward Saurea is in there, call him out. (_servant goes toward house_)
_Lib._
Quis nostras sic frangit fores? ohe, inquam, si quid audis.
(_stepping forward_) Who’s that battering our door so? Whoa there, I say--if you’re not deaf!
_Merc._ _Trader_
Nemo etiam tetigit. sanun es?
No one has touched it yet. Are you in your senses?
_Lib._
At censebam attigisse propterea, huc quia habebas iter. nolo ego fores conservas meas a te verberarier. sane ego sum amicus nostris.
Well, I was thinking you had touched it, seeing you were making this way. I don’t want you to beat that door--it’s a fellow servant of mine. I tell you what, I love my fellow servants.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Pol haud periclum est, cardines ne foribus effringantur, si istoc exemplo omnibus qui quaerunt respondebis.
Gad! No danger of the door being battered off its hinges, if you answer all callers in that style.
_Lib._
Ita haec morata est ianua: extemplo ianitorem 390 clamat, procul si quem videt ire ad se calcitronem. sed quid venis? quid quaeritas?
Here’s the way this door has been trained: once it sights some bully in the distance coming towards it, it bawls for the porter directly. But what’s your business? What are you after?
_Merc._ _Trader_
Demaenetum volebam.
I wished to see Demaenetus.
_Lib._
Si sit domi, dicam tibi.
If he was at home, I’d tell you.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Quid eius atriensis?
What about his steward?
_Lib._
Nihilo mage intus est.
No, he’s not in, either.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Ubi est?
Where is he?
_Lib._
Ad tonsorem ire dixit.
Said he was going to the barber’s.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Conveni. sed post non redit?
I met him. But he has not been back since?
_Lib._
Non edepol. quid volebas?
Lord, no! What did you want?
_Merc._ _Trader_
Argenti viginti minas, si adesset, accepisset.
He would have got eighty pounds, if he was here.
_Lib._
Qui pro istuc?
What for?
_Merc._ _Trader_
Asinos vendidit Pellaeo mercatori mercatu.
He sold some asses at the market to a trader from Pella.
_Lib._
Scio. tu id nunc refers? iam hic credo eum adfuturum.
I know. Bringing the cash now, are you? He’ll be here soon, I fancy.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Qua facie voster Saurea est? si is est, iam scire potero.
What does your Saurea look like? (_aside_) Now I can find out if that fellow is my man.
_Lib._
Macilentis malis, rufulus aliquantum, ventriosus, truculentis oculis, commoda statura, tristi fronte. 400
(_reflectively_) Lantern-jawed--reddish hair--pot-bellied-- savage eyes--average height--and a scowl.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Non potuit pictor rectius describere eius formam.
(_aside_) No painter could give me a more living likeness of that fellow.
_Lib._
Atque hercle ipsum adeo contuor, quassanti capite incedit. quisque obviam huic occesserit irato, vapulabit.
(_looking down street_) Yes, and what’s more, he’s in sight himself, by gad,--swaggering along and shaking his head! Anyone that crosses his path when he’s angry gets thrashed.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Siquidem hercle Aeacidinis minis animisque expletus incedit, si med iratus tetigerit, iratus vapulabit.
Good Lord! No matter if he swaggers along as full of fire and fury as Achilles--if your angry man lays a hand on me, it’s your angry man gets thrashed.
II. 4.
## Scene 4.
ENTER _Leonida_, APPARENTLY IN A RAGE.
_Leon._
Quid hoc sit negoti, neminem meum dictum magni facere? Libanum in tonstrinam ut iusseram venire, is nullus venit. ne ille edepol tergo et cruribus consuluit haud decore.
What does this mean? Does no one mind what I say? I told Libanus to come to the barber’s shop, and he never came at all. By the Lord, he hasn’t given due thought to the welfare of his hide and shanks, that’s a fact!
_Merc._ _Trader_
Nimis imperiosust.
(_aside_) A precious domineering chap!
_Lib._
Vae mihi.
(_affecting terror_) Oh, I’m in for it!
_Leon._
Hodie salvere iussi 410 Libanum libertum? iam manu emissu’s?
(_to Libanus ironically_) Ah, greetings to Libanus the freedman, is it, to-day? Have you been manumitted now? (_advancing_)
_Lib._
Obsecro te.
(_cowering_) Please, please, sir!
_Leon._
Ne tu hercle cum magno malo mihi obviam occessisti. cur non venisti, ut iusseram, in tonstrinam?
By heaven, I’ll certainly give you good reason to regret crossing my path. Why didn’t you come to the barber’s, as I ordered?
_Lib._
Hic me moratust.
(_pointing to trader_) This gentleman delayed me.
_Leon._
Siquidem hercle nunc summum Iovem te dicas detinuisse atque is precator adsiet, malam rem effugies numquam. tu, verbero, imperium meum contempsisti?
(_without looking at trader_) Damme! You can go on and say Jove Almighty detained you, yes, and he can come here and plead your case, but you shall never escape a flogging. You scorned my authority, you whipping post?
_Lib._
Perii, hospes.
(_running behind trader_) Oh kind stranger, I’m a dead man!
_Merc._ _Trader_
Quaeso hercle noli, Saurea, mea causa hunc verberare.
By Jove, Saurea! Now, now, don’t flog him, for my sake!
_Leon._
Utinam nunc stimulus in manu mihi sit.
(_paying no attention_) Oh, if I could only get hold of an ox goad now!
_Merc._ _Trader_
Quiesce quaeso.
Now, now, calm down.
_Leon._
Qui latera conteram tua, quae occalluere plagis. abscede ac sine me hunc perdere, qui semper me ira incendit, 420 cui numquam unam rem me licet semel praecipere furi, quin centiens eadem imperem atque ogganniam, itaque iam hercle clamore ac stomacho non queo labori suppeditare.
So as to stave in those ribs of yours that have grown callous to blows! (_to trader_) Out of my way, and let me murder the rascal that always sets me afire with rage, that never lets one order from me suffice for one job, the criminal, but keeps me commanding and growling the same thing a hundred times over. Good Lord, it’s come to the point where I can’t stand the work, what with yelling and storming at him!
iussin, sceleste, ab ianua hoc stercus hinc auferri? iussin columnis deici operas araneorum? iussin in splendorem dari bullas has foribus nostris?
Didn’t I tell you to carry off this dung from the doorway, you villain? Didn’t I tell you to clean the spiders’ webs off the columns? Didn’t I tell you to rub these door knobs till they shone?
nihil est: tamquam si claudus sim, cum fustist ambulandum. quia triduom hoc unum modo foro operam adsiduam dedo, dum reperiam qui quaeritet argentum in faenus, hic vos dormitis interea domi, atque erus in hara, haud aedibus habitat, 430 em ergo hoc tibi.
It’s no good: anyone would think I was lame, the way I have to travel around after you with a cane. Because I’ve been constantly busy at the forum just for the last three days, trying to find some one to place a loan with, here you’ve been drowsing all the time at home, and your master living in a pig-pen, not a house. There now, take that! (_strikes him_)
_Lib._
Hospes, te obsecro, defende.
Kind stranger! For heaven’s sake protect me!
_Merc._ _Trader_
Saurea, oro, mea causa ut mittas.
Come, Saurea, do let him off for my sake.
_Leon._
Eho, ecquis pro vectura olivi rem solvit?
(_to Libanus_) Hey, you! Did anyone pay for the shipping of that oil?
_Lib._
Solvit.
Yes, sir.
_Leon._
Cui datumst?
Who to?
_Lib._
Sticho vicario ipsi tuo.
To Stichus himself, sir, your own deputy.
_Leon._
Vah, delenire apparas, scio mihi vicarium esse, neque eo esse servom in aedibus eri qui sit pluris quam illest. sed vina quae heri vendidi vinario Exaerambo, iam pro eis satis fecit Sticho?
Hm-m! trying to smooth me down! To be sure I have a deputy, and there’s not a slave in the master’s house that is a more valuable man than that deputy, either. But how about the wine I sold to Exaerambus the vintner yesterday--has he settled with Stichus for it yet?
_Lib._
Fecisse satis opinor, nam vidi huc ipsum adducere trapezitam Exaerambum.
I reckon he has, sir: for I saw Exaerambus bringing the banker here himself.
_Leon._
Sic dedero. prius quae credidi vix anno post exegi; nunc satagit: adducit domum etiam ultro et scribit nummos. Dromo mercedem rettulit? 440
That’s the style for me! Last time I trusted him I barely got the money out of him a year afterwards. Now he pays his bills: even brings his banker over to the house besides, and writes his cheque. Has Dromo brought home his wages?
_Lib._
Dimidio minus opinor.
Only half, I think.
_Leon._
Quid relicuom?
And the rest?
_Lib._
Aibat reddere quom extemplo redditum esset; nam retineri, ut quod sit sibi operis locatum efficeret.
He said he’d give it to you as soon as it was given to him; claimed it was kept back so that he’d finish up a job that was placed with him.
_Leon._
Scyphos quos utendos dedi Philodamo, rettulitne?
Those cups that I lent Philodamus--has he returned ’em?
_Lib._
Non etiam.
Not yet.
_Leon._
Hem non? si velis, da,[11] commoda homini amico.
Hey? No? (_sourly_) Give things away, if you like,--give ’em to a friend on loan.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Perii hercle, iam his me abegerit suo odio.
(_half aside, wearily_) Oh, the devil! The fellow will be driving me off before long with his confounded talk.
_Lib._
Heus iam satis tu. audin quae loquitur?
(_aside to Leonida_) Hi, you! That’s enough now! D’ye hear what he says?
_Leon._
Audio et quiesco.
(_aside to Libanus_) I hear; I’ll calm down.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Tandem, opinor, conticuit. nunc adeam optimum est, prius quam incipit tinnire. quam mox mi operam das?
(_aside_) Silent at last, I do believe. Best approach him now before he begins to rattle on again. (_aloud to Leonida_) How soon can you give me your attention?
_Leon._
Ehem, optume. quam dudum tu advenisti? non hercle te provideram--quaeso ne vitio vortas-- 450 ita iracundia obstitit oculis.
(_looking at him and affecting surprise_) Aha! Splendid! How long have you been here? Well, well, I hadn’t noticed you before! I trust you won’t feel offended. I was so angry that it affected my eyesight.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Non mirum factum est. sed si domi est, Demaenetum volebam.
Nothing strange in that. But I wished to see Demaenetus, if he is at home.
_Leon._
Negat esse intus. verum istuc argentum tamen mihi si vis denumerare, repromittam istoc nomine solutam rem futuram.
He (_indicating Libanus_) says he’s not in. But as to that money, though,--count it out to me, if you like, and then I’ll engage that your account with us is settled.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Sic potius, ut Demaeneto tibi ero praesente reddam.
I should prefer to make the payment in the presence of your master Demaenetus.
_Lib._
Erus istunc novit atque erum hic.
(_protestingly_) Oh, master knows him and he knows master.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Ero huic praesente reddam.
(_firmly_) I shall pay him in his master’s presence.
_Lib._
Da modo meo periculo, rem salvam ego exhibebo; nam si sciat noster senex fidem non esse huic habitam, suscenseat, quoi omnium rerum ipsus semper credit.
Oh now, give it to him, at my risk: I’ll make it all right. Why, if our old man knew Saurea here was doubted, he’d be furious: he always trusts him with everything himself.
_Leon._
Non magni pendo. ne duit, si non volt, sic sine astet. 460
(_very superior_) It’s of no importance. He can keep it, if he wants. Let him stand by with it there.
_Lib._
Da, inquam. vah, formido miser, ne hic me tibi arbitretur suasisse, sibi ne crederes. da, quaeso, ac ne formida: salvom hercle erit.
(_aside to trader_) I say, do give it to him. Oh dear, this is awful! I’m afraid he’ll think I persuaded you not to trust him. Give it to him, for mercy’s sake, and don’t be afraid. Good Lord, it’ll be all right!
_Merc._ _Trader_
Credam fore, dum quidem ipse in manu habebo. peregrinus ego sum, Sauream non novi.
I trust it will be, so long as I keep hold of it myself, anyway. I am a stranger here: I don’t know Saurea.
_Lib._
At nosce sane.
(_pointing to Leonida_) Well, just make his acquaintance, then.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Sit, non sit, non edepol scio. si is est, eum esse oportet. ego certe me incerto scio hoc daturum nemini homini.
Whether he is the man or not, I don’t know, by gad. If he is, he is, of course. I certainly do know that when I am uncertain I give this (_showing a wallet_) to nobody on earth.
_Leon._
Hercle istum di omnes perduint. verbo cave supplicassis. ferox est viginti minas meas tractare sese. nemo accipit aufer te domum, abscede hinc, molestus ne sis.
Be damned to the fellow! (_to Libanus_) Not a word of entreaty, you! He’s puffed up at having the handling of my eighty pounds. (_to trader_) No one will take it! Home with you! Away with you! Don’t bother me!
_Merc._ _Trader_
Nimis iracunde. non decet superbum esse hominem servom. 470
(_scoffingly_) Quite in a pet! The idea of a mere slave being arrogant!
_Leon._
Malo hercle iam magno tuo, ni isti nec recte dicis.
(_to Libanus_) By heaven, you’ll soon pay dear for it, if you don’t abuse him!
_Lib._
Impure, nihili. non vides irasci?
(_loudly to trader_) You dirty thing, you, you good for nothing! (_in lower tone_) Don’t you see he’s angry?
_Leon._
Perge porro.
(_to Libanus_) Go on, get at him!
_Lib._
Flagitum hominis. da, obsecro, argentum huic, ne male loquatur.
(_loudly_) You scandal of a man! (_in lower tone_) Do give him the money, for heaven’s sake, so that he won’t call you bad names.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Malum hercle vobis quaeritis.
Gad! It’s a bad time you two are looking for.
_Leon._
Crura hercle diffringentur, ni istum impudicum percies.
(_to Libanus_) By the Lord, your legs shall be broken to splinters, if you don’t give that shameless rascal a blowing up.
_Lib._
Perii hercle. age impudice, sceleste, non audes mihi scelesto subvenire?
(_to trader in low tone_) Oh Lord! I’m in for it! (_loudly_) Come, you shameless rascal, you wretch, won’t you help me, poor wretch that I am?
_Leon._
Pergin precari pessimo?
(_to Libanus_) Continuing to coax that criminal, are you?
_Merc._ _Trader_
Quae res? tun libero homini male servos loquere?
(_getting indignant_) How is this? You dare to abuse a free man, you, you slave?
_Leon._
Vapula.
You be thrashed!
_Merc._ _Trader_
Id quidem tibi hercle fiet, ut vapules, Demaenetum simulac conspexero hodie.[12] 479
Be thrashed? Precisely what will be done to you, by gad, the moment I set eyes on Demaenetus to-day!
_Leon._
Quid, verbero? ain tu, furcifer? erum nos fugitare censes? 484-485 ei nunciam ad erum, quo vocas, iam dudum quo volebas.
What, you whipping post? So, you gallows-bird? D’ye think we skulk from our master? On with you straight to the master you summon us to, the master you’ve wanted to see this long time past. (_goes toward forum_)
_Merc._ _Trader_
Nunc demum? tamen numquam hinc feres argenti nummum, nisi me dare iusserit Demaenetus.
At last, eh? But never a penny do you get from me, unless I am instructed to give it to you by Demaenetus.
_Leon._
Ita facito, age ambula ergo. tu contumeliam alteri facias, tibi non dicatur? tam ego homo sum quam tu.
All right, all right! Come, step along, then! Do you want to insult another man and not get it back? I’m as much of a man as you are!
_Merc._ _Trader_
Scilicet. ita res est.
No doubt. Quite so.
_Leon._
Sequere hac ergo 490 praefiscini hoc nunc dixerim: nemo etiam me accusavit merito meo, neque me alter est Athenis hodie quisquam, cui credi recte aeque putent.
Come along this way, then. (_stops_) If I may say so without presumption, let me tell you this now: no one has ever yet accused me justly, and there’s not a single other man in all Athens that people think worthy of such confidence as me, either.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Fortassis. sed tamen me numquam hodie induces, ut tibi credam hoc argentum ignoto. lupus est homo homini, non homo, quom qualis sit non novit.
I dare say. But notwithstanding, never will you induce me to-day to trust this money to you, a stranger, (_somewhat apologetically_) “Man is no man, but a wolf, to a stranger.”
_Leon._
Iam nunc secunda mihi facis. scibam huic te capitulo hodie. facturum satis pro iniuria; quamquam ego sum sordidatus, frugi tamen sum, nec potest peculium enumerari.
(_encouraged_) Now there, that’s decent of you! I knew you’d soon be making amends to a good fellow for doing him an injustice. No matter if I do look shabby, I’m an honest man just the same, and as for the cash I’ve laid by--it can’t be counted.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Fortasse.
(_sceptically_) I dare say.
_Leon._
Etiam[13] Periphanes Rhodo mercator dives absente ero solus mihi talentum argenti soli 500 adnumeravit et mihi credidit, nequest deceptus in eo.
Even Periphanes, the rich trader from Rhodes, counted out two hundred pounds to me when master was away and we were all by ourselves,--he trusted me, and he wasn’t deceived in doing so, either.
_Merc._ _Trader_
Fortasse.
I dare say.
_Leon._
Atque etiam tu quoque ipse. si esses percontatus me ex aliis, scio pol crederes nunc quod fers.