Part 26
Egone illum non fleam? egon non defleam talem adulescentem?
I not cry for him? I not cry my eyes out for such a youth?
_Hegio_
Semper sensi, filio 140 meo te esse amicum, et illum intellexi tibi.
(_somewhat moved_) I always did feel that you were a friend to my son, and I realized that he regarded you as one.
_Erg._
Tum denique homines nostra intellegimus bona, quom quae in potestate habuimus, ea amisimus. ego, postquam gnatus tuos potitust hostium, expertus quanti fuerit nunc desidero.
Ah, we mortals realize the value of our blessings only when we have lost them. Myself now--after your son fell in with the enemy, I have come to understand how much he meant to me, and now I long for him.
_Hegio_
Alienus cum eius incommodum tam aegre feras, quid me patrem par facerest, cui ille est unicus?
When an outsider like you takes his misfortune so bitterly, how must I feel, his father, and he my only son?
_Erg._
Alienus ego? alienus illi? aha, Hegio, numquam istuc dixis neque animum induxis tuom; tibi ille unicust, mi etiam unico magis unicus. 150
(_choking_) An outsider? I? An outsider to that boy? Oh-h-h, Hegio! don’t say a thing like that, don’t let such a thought enter your mind, ever! Your only son, yes,--but he was even more than that to me: he was my only only! (_sobs violently_)
_Hegio_
Laudo, malum cum amici tuom ducis malum, nunc habe bonum animum.
I appreciate this, that you consider your friend’s disaster your own. (_patting him on the back_) Come now, take heart.
_Erg._
Eheu, huic illud dolet, quia nunc remissus est edendi exercitus.
Oh, dear! oh, dear! here’s (_rubbing his stomach_) where it hurts: my whole commissary department has been disbanded now, you see.
_Hegio_
Nullumne interea nactu’s, qui posset tibi remissum quem dixti imperare exercitum?
(_smiling_) And meantime haven’t you hit upon anyone that could reorganize the department you say is disbanded?
_Erg._
Quid credis? fugitant omnes hanc provinciam, quoi optigerat postquam captust Philopolemus tuos.
Would you believe it? Every one keeps fighting shy of the office ever since your Philopolemus, its duly elected occupant, was captured.
_Hegio_
Non pol mirandum est fugitare hanc provinciam, multis et multigeneribus opus est tibi militibus: primumdum opus est Pistorensibus: 160 eorum sunt aliquot genera Pistorensium: opus Paniceis est, opus Placentinis quoque; opus Turdetanis, opust Ficedulensibus; iam maritumi omnes milites opus sunt tibi.
Bless my soul! no wonder they fight shy of it. You need many recruits, of many sorts, too: why, in the first place you need Pad-u-ans;[B] and there are several kinds of Paduans: you need the support of Bologna, and you need Frankfurters too; you need Leghorners and you need Pis-ans, and furthermore you need every fighter in fin land.
[Footnote B: Here, as in the lines 880-883, the translator craves pardon for distorting the ages and spoiling the climes in his efforts to secure something of the effect of the original puns.]
_Erg_
Ut saepe summa ingenia in occulto latent; hic qualis imperator nunc privatus est.
(_appreciatively_) How often it does happen that the greatest talents are shrouded in obscurity! This man now-- what a generalissimo, and here he is only a private citizen!
_Hegio_
Habe modo bonum animum, nam illum confido domum in his diebus me reconciliassere. nam eccum hic captivom adulescentem intus Aleum, prognatum genere summo et summis ditiis: 170 hoc illum me mutare confido pote.
Well, well, now, take heart. As a matter of fact, I trust we shall have the boy back with us in a few days. For, look you (_pointing to house_) I have a young Elean prisoner inside here--splendid family, quantities of money: I count on being able to exchange him for my son.
_Erg_
Ita di deaeque faxint. sed num quo foras vocatus es ad cenam?
(_heartily_) The gods and goddesses be with you! I say, though,--you haven’t been invited out to dinner anywhere?
_Hegio_
Nusquam quod sciam sed quid tu id quaeris?
(_cautiously_) Nowhere, to my knowledge. But why do you ask?
_Erg_
Quia mi est natalis dies; propterea te vocari ad te ad cenam volo
Well, to-day is my birthday: so consider yourself invited to take dinner at--your house.
_Hegio_
Facete dictum. sed si pauxillo potes, contentus esse.
(_laughing_) Well put! But only on condition you can be content with very little.
_Erg._
Ne perpauxillum modo, nam istoc me assiduo victu delecto domi, age sis, roga emptum. nisi qui meliorem adferet quae mi atque amicis placeat condicio magis, 180 quasi fundum vendam, meis me addicam legibus
Yes, only don’t make it very, very, very little, for that is what I regale myself on constantly at home. Come on, come on, do please say “Done!” (_after a pause, formally_) In the event of no party making a better offer, more satisfactory to myself and associates, I’ll knock myself down to you--on my own terms--just as if I was selling an estate by auction.
_Hegio_
Profundum vendis tu quidem, haud fundum, mihi sed si venturu’s, temperi.
An estate indeed! You mean an empty state. But if you intend to come, come in season.
_Erg._
Em, vel iam otium est.
Oho! I’m at leisure this minute, for that matter.
_Hegio_
I modo, venare leporem: nunc irim tenes; nam meus scruposam victus commetat viam.
No, no, go hunt your hare: you’ve got only a hedge-hog so far. For it is a rocky road my table travels.
_Erg._
Numquam istoc vinces me, Hegio, ne postules: cum calceatis dentibus veniam tamen.
You’ll never down me that way, Hegio, and don’t you think to do it: I’ll be with you just the same--with my teeth shod.
_Hegio_
Asper meus victus sane est.
My meals are perfect terrors, really.
_Erg._
Sentisne essitas?
Tearers? Do you eat brambles?
_Hegio_
Terrestris cena est.
Well, things that root in the earth.
_Erg._
Sus terrestris bestia est.
A porker does that.
_Hegio_
Multis holeribus.
Mostly vegetables, I mean.
_Erg._
Curato aegrotos domi. 190 numquid vis?
Open a sanitarium, then. (_turning to go_) Anything else I can do for you?
_Hegio_
Venias temperi.
Come in season.
_Erg._
Memorem mones.
(_cheerfully_) The suggestion is superfluous. [EXIT.
_Hegio_
Ibo intro atque intus subducam ratiunculam, quantillum argenti mi apud trapezitam siet. ad fratrem, quo ire dixeram, mox ivero.
(_sighing as he looks at the back of his prospective guest_) I must go in and reckon up my bit of a bank balance, and see how low it is. Then to my brother’s, where I spoke of going before. [EXIT INTO HOUSE.
## ACTVS II
## ACT II
ENTER FROM _Hegio’s_ HOUSE _Overseers_ AND _Slaves_ WITH _Philocrates_ AND _Tyndarus_ IN FETTERS: THE TWO HAVE EXCHANGED CLOTHES
_Lor._ _Over._
Si di immortales id voluerunt, vos hanc aerumnam exsequi, decet id pati animo aequo: si id facietis, levior labos erit. domi fuistis, credo, liberi: nunc servitus si evenit, ei vos morigerari mos bonust et erili imperio eamque ingeniis vostris lenem reddere. indigna digna habenda sunt, erus quae facit.
(_to captives, patronizingly_) Seeing it’s the will of Heaven you’re in this box, the thing for you to do is to take it calmly: do that, and you won’t have such a hard time of it. At home you were free men, I suppose: since you happen to be slaves at present, it’s a good idea to accept the situation and a master’s orders gracefully, and make things easy to bear by taking ’em the proper way. Anything a master does is right, no matter how wrong it is.
_Captivi_
Oh oh oh. 200
(_protestingly_) Oh-h-h-h!
_Lor._ _Over._
Eiulatione haud opus est, oculis haud[5] lacrimantibus: in re mala animo si bono utare, adiuvat.
There’s no need of howling or crying. It helps to take bad things well.
_Tynd._
At nos pudet, quia cum catenis sumus.
But to be in chains--we feel disgraced!
_Lor._ _Over._
At pigeat postea nostrum erum, si vos eximat vinculis, aut solutos sinat, quos argento emerit.
But it’s disgusted our master would feel later on, if he took the chains off, or let you loose, when he’s paid money for you.
_Tynd._
Quid a nobis metuit? scimus nos nostrum officium quod est, si solutos sinat.
What has he to fear from us? We realise what our duty is, if he should let us loose.
_Lor._ _Over._
At fugam fingitis: sentio quam rem agitis.
Ah yes, you’re planning to run for it! I see what’s afoot.
_Philocr._
Nos fugiamus? quo fugiamus?
Run--we? Where should we run to?
_Lor._ _Over._
In patriam.
Home.
_Philocr._
Apage, haud nos id deceat. fugitivos imitari.
Get out! The idea of our acting like runaway slaves!
_Lor._ _Over._
Immo edepol, si erit occasio, haud dehortor. 210
Lord! why not? I’m not saying you shouldn’t, if you get the chance.
_Tynd._
Unum exorare vos sinite nos.
(_with dignity_) Be good enough to grant us one request.
_Lor._ _Over._
Quidnam id est?
Well, what is it?
_Tynd._
Ut sine hisce arbitris atque vobis nobis detis locum loquendi.
Merely this--give us an opportunity to talk together without being overheard by these good fellows (_pointing to slaves_) and yourselves.
_Lor._ _Over._
Fiat. abscedite hinc: nos concedamus huc. sed brevem orationem incipisse.
All right. (_to slaves_) Away with you! (_to other overseer_) Let’s drop back here. (_to captives_) Make it short, though.
_Tynd._
Em istuc mihi certum erat. concede huc.
Oh yes, that was my intention. (_to Philocrates, drawing him farther from slaves_) Come this way.
_Lor._ _Over._
Abite ab istis.
(_to slaves still hanging about_) Get out and leave ’em alone. (_slaves obey_)
_Tynd._
Obnoxii ambo vobis sumus propter hanc rem, quom quae volumus nos copia est; ea[6] facitis nos compotes.
(_to overseers_) We are much obliged to you, both of us, for the privilege of doing as we wish; we owe it to you.
_Philocr._
Secede huc nunciam, si videtur, procul. ne arbitri dicta nostra arbitrari queant 220 neu permanet palam haec nostra fallacia. nam doli non doli sunt, nisi astu colas, sed malum maxumum, si id palam provenit.
(_to Tyndarus_) Step over here now, if you please, come over, so that no one may catch what we say and leave us with a scheme that has leaked out. (_they move still farther from the overseers_) Shrewd management is what makes a trick a trick, you know: once it gets out, it becomes an instrument of torture.
nam si erus mihi es tu atque ego me tuom esse servom assimulo, tamen viso opust, cauto est opus, ut hoc sobrie sineque arbitris accurate agatur, docte et diligenter; tanta incepta res est: haud somniculose hoc agendum est.
No matter if you are passing as my master and I as your slave, even so we’ve got to be wary, we’ve got to be cautious, so that our plan may be worked out in a clear- headed way, quietly and carefully, with discretion and diligence. It’s a big job we’ve got in hand: we can’t go to sleep over it.
_Tynd._
Ero ut me voles esse.
I will be all you wish me to be, sir.
_Philocr._
Spero.
I hope so.
_Tynd._
Nam tu nunc vides pro tuo caro capite carum offerre me meum caput vilitati. 230
For that matter, sir, you already see that to save a man I love, I am holding my own life cheap, much as I love it.
_Philocr._
Scio.
I realize it.
_Tynd._
At scire memento, quando id quod voles habebis; nam fere maxima pars morem hunc homines habent; quod sibi volunt, dum id impetrant, boni sunt; sed id ubi iam penes sese habent, ex bonis pessimi et fraudulentissimi fiunt: nunc ut mihi te volo esse autumo.[7] (236)
But remember to realize it when you get what you want. For, generally speaking, men have a habit of being fine fellows so long as they are seeking some favour; but when they have obtained it there’s a change, and your fine fellows turn into villainous cheats of the worst description. In all this, sir, I’m telling you how I wish you to act toward me.
_Philocr._
Pol ego si te audeam, meum patrem nominem: (238) nam secundum patrem tu es pater proximus.
By heaven, I might call you my father, if I chose: for next to my real father you are the best one I have.
_Tynd._
Audio.
I know, I know.
_Philocr._
Et propterea saepius te uti memineris moneo: 240 non ego erus tibi, sed servos sum; nunc obsecro te hoc unum-- quoniam nobis di immortales animum ostenderunt suom, ut qui erum me tibi fuisse atque esse conservom velint, quom antehac pro iure imperitabam meo, nunc te oro per precem--
And that’s just why I keep reminding you the oftener to remember what the situation calls for: I’m not your master, I’m a slave. Now I beg this one thing of you--since we have unmistakable proof that it’s Heaven’s will I should no longer be your master but your fellow slave, I, who used to have the right to command you, now implore and entreat you--
per fortunam incertam et per mei te erga bonitatem patris, perque conservitium commune, quod hostica evenit manu, ne me secus honore honestes quam quom servibas mihi, atque ut qui fueris et qui nunc sis meminisse ut memineris.
by the common peril in which we stand and by my father’s kindness to you and by the captivity which the chances of war have brought upon us both, don’t feel less respect for my wishes than you did when you were my slave, and remember, remember carefully, both who you were and who you are now.
_Tynd._
Scio quidem me te esse nunc et te esse me.
Yes, yes, I know that I am you for the time being and that you are I.
_Philocr._
Em istuc si potes memoriter meminisse, inest spes nobis in hac astutia. 250
There! manage to remember to keep that in mind, and this scheme of ours looks likely.
II. 2.
## Scene 2.
ENTER _Hegio_ FROM HOUSE.
_Hegio_
Iam ego revertar intro, si ex his quae volo exquisivero. ubi sunt isti quos ante aedis iussi huc produci foras?
(_to those within_) I shall be back directly, if I find out what I want to know from these fellows. (_to overseers_) Where are those prisoners I had brought out in front of the house here?
_Philocr._
Edepol tibi ne in quaestione essemus cautum intellego, ita vinclis custodiisque circum moeniti sumus.
(_advancing, pertly_) Gad! You guarded against having to look for us far, I perceive,--see how we’re barricaded with chains and watchmen.
_Hegio_
Qui cavet ne decipiatur, vix cavet, cum etiam cavet; etiam cum cavisse ratus est, saepe is cautor captus est. an vero non iusta causa est, ut vos servem sedulo, quos tam grandi sim mercatus praesenti pecunia?
The man on his guard against being deceived is hardly on his guard even when he is on his guard, even when he supposed he was on his guard, your guarder has often enough been gulled. Really though, haven’t I good reason to take pains to keep you, when I paid so high for you, cash down?
_Philocr._
Neque pol tibi nos, quia nos servas, aequomst vitio vortere, neque te nobis, si abeamus hinc, si fuat occasio. 260
Bless your heart, sir, we haven’t any right to find fault with you for trying to keep us, or you with us, if we clear out--if we get a chance.
_Hegio_
Ut vos hic, itidem illic apud vos meus servatur filius.
My son is kept prisoner there in your country just as you are here.
_Philocr._
Captus est?
Captured?
_Hegio_
Ita.
Yes.
_Philocr._
Non igitur nos soli ignavi fuimus.
Then other folks besides us have been cowards.
_Hegio_
Secede huc. nam sunt quae ex te solo scitari volo. quarum rerum te falsilocum mi esse nolo.
(_leading him farther from Tyndarus_) Step over here. There are some matters I wish to ask you about in private. No lying about them, mind.
_Philocr._
Non ero quod sciam. si quid nescibo, id nescium tradam tibi.
Not I, sir, not if I know. If I don’t know about a thing, I’ll (_innocently_) tell you what I don’t know.
_Tynd._
Nunc senex est in tostrina, nunc iam cultros attinet. ne id quidem, involucrum inicere, voluit, vestem ut ne inquinet. sed utrum strictimne adtonsurum dicam esse an per pectinem, nescio; verum, si frugist, usque admutilabit probe.
(_aside, cheerfully_) Now the old fellow is in the barber’s chair, yes, now we have the clippers on him. And master not even willing to throw a towel over him to keep his clothes clean! Is it going to be a close crop, I wonder, or just a trim?--that’s the question. If he knows his business, though, he’ll dock him handsomely.
_Hegio_
Quid tu? servosne esse an liber mavelis, memora mihi. 270
See here, would you prefer to be a slave or a free man, tell me that?
_Philocr._
Proxumum quod sit bono quodque a malo longissume, id volo; quamquam non multum fuit molesta servitus, nec mihi secus erat quam si essem familiaris filius.
The maximum of pleasure and the minimum of pain, that’s my preference, sir; but being a slave hasn’t bothered me much, though: I wasn’t treated any differently than if I’d been a son of the house.
_Tynd._
Eugepae, Thalem talento non emam Milesium, nam ad sapientiam huius[8] nimius nugator fuit. ut facete orationem ad servitutem contulit.
(_aside_) Well done my boy! I wouldn’t buy Milesian Thales at a thousand thalers: why, he was nothing but the veriest amateur of a wise man compared with master here. How cleverly he’s dropped into the servant jargon!
_Hegio._
Quo de genere natust illic Philocrates?
Who are Philocrates’ people there in Elis?
_Philocr._
Polyplusio: quod genus illi est unum pollens atque honoratissumum.
The Goldfields, sir,--the most influential and respected family in those parts easily.
_Hegio_
Quid ipsus hic? quo honore est illic?
And the young man himself? How does he stand?
_Philocr._
Summo, atque ab summis viris.[9] 279
Very high indeed, sir,--belongs to the highest circles.
_Hegio_
Quid divitiae, suntne opimae?
How about his property? Pretty fat one, eh?
_Philocr._
Unde excoquat sebum senex. (281)
Fat? Old Goldfields could get dripping out of it.
_Hegio_
Quid pater, vivitne?
What about his father? Is he living?
_Philocr._
Vivom, cum inde abimus, liquimus; nunc vivatne necne, id Orcum scire oportet scilicet.
He was when we left home, whether he’s alive now or not, of course you had better inquire below as to that, sir.
_Tynd._
Salva res est, philosophatur quoque iam, non mendax modo est.
(_aside_) The situation is saved! Now he not only lies but moralizes.
_Hegio_
Quid erat ei nomen?
What was his name?
_Philocr._
Thensaurochrysonicochrysides.
Ducatsdoubloonsandpiecesofeightson.
_Hegio_
Videlicet propter divitias inditum id nomen quasi est.
A sort of name applied to him on account of his money, I take it.
_Philocr._
Immo edepol propter avaritiam ipsius atque audaciam.[10]
(_apparently struck by a new idea_) Lord, no! on account of his being so greedy and grasping, sir.
_Hegio_
Quid tu ais? tenaxne pater est eius?
What’s that? His father’s rather close, is he?
_Philocr._
Immo edepol pertinax; quin etiam ut magis noscas: Genio suo ubi quando sacruficat, 290 ad rem divinam quibus est opus, Samiis vasis utitur, ne ipse Genius surripiat: proinde aliis ut credat vide.
Close? My word, sir! he’s adhesive! Why, really,--just so as to give you a better notion of him--whenever he sacrifices to his own Guardian Spirit he won’t use any dishes needed in the service except ones made of Samian earthenware, for fear his very Guardian Spirit may steal ’em. You can see from this what a confiding character he is in general.
_Hegio_
Sequere hac me igitur. eadem ego ex hoc quae volo exquaesivero. Philocrates, hic fecit, hominem frugi ut facere oportuit. nam ego ex hoc quo genere gnatus sis scio, hic fassust mihi; haec tu eadem si confiteri vis, tua ex re feceris: quae tamen scio scire me ex hoc.
Well, well, come this way with me. (_aside, as they join Tyndarus_) I’ll soon get the information I want out of the master here at the same time. (_to Tyndarus_) Philocrates, your servant has acted as a worthy fellow ought to act. Yes, I know from him about your family: he has admitted everything. If you choose to be equally open with me, it will be to your advantage: however, I have been completely informed already by him.
_Tynd._
Fecit officium hic suom, cum tibi est confessus verum, quamquam volui sedulo meam nobilitatem occultare et genus et divitias meas, Hegio; nunc quando patriam et libertatem perdidi, 300 non ego istunc me potius quam te metuere aequom censeo. vis hostilis cum istoc fecit meas opes aequabiles; memini, cum dicto haud audebat: facto nunc laedat licet.
(_with dignified melancholy_) He has done his duty in admitting the truth to you, much as I did wish to keep you in the dark, Hegio, about my rank and birth and wealth; now that I am a man without a country, a prisoner, I suppose it is not to be expected that he should stand more in awe of me than of you. The chances of war have put master and man on an equal footing. I remember the time when he did not venture to offend me by a word: now he is at liberty to do me an actual injury.
sed viden? fortuna humana fingit artatque ut lubet: me, qui liber fueram servom fecit, e summo infimum; qui imperare insueram, nunc alterius imperio obsequor. et quidem si, proinde ut ipse fui imperator familiae, habeam dominum, non verear ne iniuste aut graviter mi imperet. Hegio, hoc te monitum, nisi forte ipse non vis, voluerim.
But you see! fortune moulds us, pinches us, to suit her whims: here am I, the one-time free man, a slave--tossed from the heights to the depths. Accustomed to command, I am now at another’s beck and call. And indeed, if I might have such a master as I myself was when I was the head of a household, I should have no fear of being treated unjustly or harshly. There is one thing I should like to impress upon you, Hegio,--unless you object, maybe.
_Hegio_
Loquere audacter.
No, no, speak out.
_Tynd._
Tam ego fui ante liber quam gnatus tuos, 310 tam mihi quam illi libertatem hostilis eripuit manus. tam ille apud nos servit, quam ego nunc his apud te servio. est profecto deus, qui quae nos gerimus auditque et videt: is, uti tu me his habueris, proinde illum illic curaverit; bene merenti bene profuerit, male merenti par erit. quam tu filium tuom, tam pater me meus desiderat.
Once I was free as your son; an enemy’s success deprived me of my liberty as he was deprived of his; he is a slave in my country as I am here with you. There surely is a God who hears and sees what we do: and according to your treatment of me here, so will he look after your son there. He will reward the deserving and requite the undeserving. Just as you long for your son, so does my father long for me.
_Hegio_
Memini ego istuc. sed faterin eadem quae hic fassust mihi?
I know all that--but do you admit the truth of what this fellow has told me?
_Tynd._
Ego patri meo esse fateor summas divitias domi meque summo genere gnatum. sed te optestor, Hegio, ne tuom animum avariorem faxint divitiae meae: 320 ne patri, tam etsi sum unicus, decere videatur magis, me saturum servire apud te sumptu et vestitu tuo potius quam illi, ubi minime honestumst, mendicantem vivere.[11] (323)