Part 2
I’ll convert this same play from tragedy to comedy, if you like, and never change a line. Do you wish me to do it, or not? But there! how stupid of me! As if I didn’t know that you do wish it, when I’m a deity.
teneo quid animi vostri super hac re siet: faciam ut commixta sit: sit tragicomoedia. nam me perpetuo facere ut sit comoedia, 60 reges quo veniant et di, non par arbitror. quid igitur? quoniam his servos quoque partes habet, faciam sit, proinde ut dixi, tragicomoedia.
I understand your feelings in the matter perfectly. I shall mix things up: let it be tragi-comedy. Of course it would never do for me to make it comedy out and out, with kings and gods on the boards. How about it, then? Well, in view of the fact that there is a slave part in it, I shall do just as I said and make it tragi-comedy.
nunc hoc me orare a vobis iussit Iuppiter, ut conquaestores singula in subsellia eant per totam caveam spectatoribus, si cui favitores delegates viderint, ut is in cavea pignus capiantur togae;
Now here is the favour Jove bade me ask of you: (_with great solemnity_) let inspectors go from seat to seat throughout the house, and should they discover claqueurs planted for the benefit of any party, let them take as security from all such in the house--their togas.
sive qui ambissint palmam histrionibus, sive cuiquam artifici, si per scriptas litteras 70 sive qui ipse ambissit seu per internuntium, sive adeo aediles perfidiose cui duint, sirempse legem iussit esse Iuppiter, quasi magistratum sibi alterive ambiverit.
Or if there be those who have solicited the palm for actors, or for any artist--whether by letter, or by personal solicitation, or through an intermediary--or further, if the aediles do bestow the said palm upon anyone unfairly, Jove doth decree that the selfsame law obtain as should the said party solicit guiltily, for himself or for another, public office.
virtute dixit vos victores vivere, non ambitione neque perfidia: qui minus eadem histrioni sit lex quae summo viro? virtute ambire oportet, non favitoribus. sat habet favitorum semper qui recte facit, si illis fides est quibus est ea res in manu. 80
’Tis worth has won your wars for you, saith he, not solicitation or unfairness: why should not the same law hold for player as for noblest patriot? Worth, not hired support, should solicit victory. He who plays his part aright ever has support enough, if it so be that honour dwells in those whose concern it is to judge his acts.
hoc quoque etiam mihi pater in mandatis dedit, ut conquaestores fierent histrionibus: qui sibi mandasset delegati ut plauderent quive quo placeret alter fecisset minus, eius ornamenta et corium uti conciderent.
This injunction, too, did Jove lay upon me: that inspectors should be appointed for the actors, to the end that whosoever has enjoined claqueurs to clap himself, or whosoever has endeavoured to compass the failure of another, may have his player’s costume cut to shreds, also his hide.
mirari nolim vos, quapropter Iuppiter nunc histriones curet; ne miremini: ipse hanc acturust Iuppiter comoediam. quid? admirati estis? quasi vero novom nunc proferatur, Iovem facere histrioniam; 90
I would not have you wonder why Jove is now regardful of actors; do not so: he himself, Jove, will take part in this comedy. What? Surprised? As if it were actually a new departure, this, Jove’s turning actor!
etiam, histriones anno cum in proscaemo hic Iovem invocarunt, venit, auxilio is fuit[9] (92) hanc fabulam, inquam, hic Iuppiter hodie ipse aget, (94) et ego una cum illo. nunc vos animum advortite, dum huius argumentum eloquar comoediae.
Why, just last year when the actors on this very stage called upon Jupiter, he came,[B] and helped them out. This play, then, Jove himself will act in to-day, and I along with him. Now give me your attention while I unfold the argument of our comedy.
[Footnote B: An allusion to some play in which Jupiter appeared in time to save some situation.]
Haec urbs est Thebae. in illisce habitat aedibus Amphitruo, natus Argis ex Argo patre, quicum Alcumena est nupta, Electri filia. is nunc Amphitruo praefectust legionibus, 100 nam cum Telobois bellum est Thebano poplo.
This city here is Thebes. In that house there (_pointing_) dwells Amphitryon, born in Argos, of an Argive father: and his wife is Alcmena, Electrus’s daughter. At present this Amphitryon is at the head of the Theban army, the Thebans being at war with the Teloboians.
is prius quam hinc abut ipsemet in exercitum, gravidam Alcumenam uxorem fecit suam. nam ego vos novisse credo iam ut sit pater meus, quam liber harum rerum multarum siet quantusque amator sit quod complacitum est semel.
Before he himself left to join his troops, his wife, Alcmena, was with child by him. (_apologetically_) Now I think you know already what my father is like--how free he is apt to be in a good many cases of this sort and what an impetuous lover he is, once his fancy is taken.
is amare occepit Alcumenam clam virum usuramque eius corporis cepit sibi, et gravidam fecit is eam compressu suo. nunc de Alcumena ut rem teneatis rectius, 110 utrimque est gravida, et ex viro et ex summo Iove.
Well, Alcmena caught his fancy, without her husband knowing it, and he enjoyed her and got her with child. So now Alcmena, that you may see it quite clearly, is with child by both of them, by her husband and by almighty Jove.
et meus pater nunc intus hic cum illa cubat, et haec ob eam rem nox est facta longior, dum cum illa quacum volt voluptatem capit; sed ita adsimulavit se, quasi Amphitruo siet.
And my father is there inside this very moment with her in his arms, and it is on this account that the present night has been prolonged while he enjoys the society of his heart’s delight. All this in the guise of Amphitryon, you understand.
Nunc ne hunc ornatum vos meum admiremini, quod ego huc processi sic cum servili schema: veterem atque antiquam rem novam ad vos proferam, propterea ornatus in novom incessi modum.
Now don’t be surprised at this get-up of mine and because I appear here in the character of a slave as I do: I am going to submit to you a new version of a worn and ancient tale, hence my appearance in a new get-up.
nam meus pater intus nunc est eccum Iuppiter; 120 in Amphitruonis vertit sese imaginem omnesque eum esse censent servi qui vident: ita versipellem se facit quando lubet.
The point is, my father Jupiter is now inside there, mark you. He has turned himself into the very image of Amphitryon, and all the servants that see him believe that’s who he is. See how he can change his skin when he likes!
ego servi sumpsi Sosiae mi imaginem, qui cum Amphitruone abiit hinc in exercitum, ut praeservire amanti meo possem patri atque ut ne, qui essem, familiares quaererent, versari crebro hic cum viderent me domi; nunc, cum esse credent servom et conservom suom, haud quisquam quaeret qui siem aut quid venerim. 130
And as for me, I have assumed the form of Amphitryon’s slave Sosia, who went away to the army with him, my idea being to subserve my amorous sire and not have the domestics ask who I am when they see me busy about the house here continually. As it is, when they think I am a servant and one of their own number, not a soul will ask me who I am or what I’ve come for.
Pater nunc intus suo animo morem gerit: cubat complexus cuius cupiens maxime est; quae illi ad legionem facta sunt memorat pater meus Alcumenae: illa illum censet virum suom esse, quae cum moecho est. ibi nunc meus pater memorat, legiones hostium ut fugaverit, quo pacto sit donis donatus plurimis.
So now my father is inside indulging his heart’s desire as he lies there with his arms around the lady-love he
## particularly dotes on. He is telling Alcmena what happened
during the campaign: and she all the time thinking him her husband when he’s not. On he goes there with his stories of putting the legions of the foe to flight and being presented with prizes galore.
ea dona, quae illic Amphitruoni sunt data, abstulimus: facile meus pater quod volt facit. nunc hodie Amphitruo veniet huc ab exercitu 140 et servos, cuius ego hanc fero imaginem.
The prizes Amphitryon did receive there we stole--things my father fancies do come easy to him! Now Amphitryon will return from the army to-day, and the slave I am representing, too.
nunc internosse ut nos possitis facilius, ego has habebo usque in petaso pinnulas; tum meo patri autem torulus inerit aureus sub petaso: id signum Amphitruoni non erit. ea signa nemo horum familiarium videre poterit: verum vos videbitis.
To make it easier for you to tell us apart I shall always wear this little plume on my hat: yes, and as for my father he will have a little gold tassel hanging from his: Amphitryon will not have this mark. They are marks that none of the household here will be able to see, but you will.
sed Amphitruonis illic est servos Sosia: a portu illic nunc cum lanterna advenit. abigam iam ego illum advenientem ab aedibus. 150 adeste: erit operae pretium hic spectantibus Iovem et Mercurium facere histrioniam.
(_looking down street_) But there is Amphitryon’s servant Sosia--just coming from the harbour with a lantern. I’ll bustle him away from the house as soon as he gets here. Watch now! It will be worth your while to attend when Jove and Mercury take up the histrionic art. (_steps aside_)
## ACTVS I
## ACT I
(_Time, night._)
_Sos._
Qui me alter est audacior homo aut qui confidentior, iuventutis mores qui sciam, qui hoc noctis solus ambulem? quid faciam nunc, si tres viri me in carcerem compegerint? inde cras quasi e promptaria cella depromar ad flagrum, nec causam liceat dicere mihi, neque in ero quicquam auxili nec quisquam sit quin me malo omnes esse dignum deputent.
ENTER _Sosia_, LANTERN IN HAND.
(_stopping and peering around timorously_) Who’s a bolder man, a more audacious man than I am--know all about the young bloods and their capers, I do, yet here I am strolling around all alone at this time of night! (_seems to hear something and jumps_) What if the police should lock me up in jail? To-morrow I should be taken out of that preserve closet and get served--to a rope’s end; and not a word would they let me say for myself,[C] and not a bit of help could I get from master, and there wouldn’t be a soul but what would reckon I deserved a hiding.
[Footnote C: Being a slave]
ita quasi incudem me miserum homines octo validi caedant: 159-160 ita peregre adveniens hospitio publicitus accipiar. 161-162 haec eri immodestia coegit, me qui hoc noctis a portu ingratiis excitavit. nonne idem hoc luci me mittere potuit?
Those eight strong wardens would pound my poor carcass just as if I was an anvil: that is how I should be entertained on coming home from abroad--a public reception. (_disgustedly_) It’s master’s impatience forced me into this, routing me out from the harbour at this time of night, against my will. Might have sent me on the same errand by daylight, mightn’t he?
opulento homini hoc servitus dura est, hoc magis miser est divitis servos noctesque diesque assiduo satis superque est, quod facto aut dicto adeost opus, quietus ne sis.
This is where it comes hard slaving it for a nabob, this is where a plutocrat’s servant is worse off--night and day there’s work enough and more for him, no end, always something to be done, yes, or said, so that you can’t rest.
ipse dominus dives, operis et laboris expers, 170 quodcumque homini accidit libere, posse retur: aequom esse putat, non reputat laboris quid sit[10] (172) ergo in servitute expetunt multa iniqua: (174) habendum et ferundum hoc onust cum labore.
And your plutocrat of a master, that never does a handsturn of work himself, takes it for granted that any whim that comes into a man’s head can be gratified: yes, he counts that the fair thing, and never takes account of how much the work is. Ah, I tell you, there’s a great deal of injustice this slavery lets you in for: you’ve got to take your load and carry it, and that is work.
_Mer._
Satius me queri illo modo servitutem: hodie qui fuerim liber, cum nunc potivit pater servitutis, his qui verna natus est queritur.
(_aside_) It would be more in order for Mercury to do some of this grumbling about menial station--was free this very day, and now his father has made a slave of him. It’s this fellow, a born drudge, that is grumbling.
_Sos._
Sum vero verna verbero: num numero mi in mentem fuit, 180 dis advenientem gratias pro meritis agere atque alloqui? ne illi edepol si merito meo referre studeant gratiam, aliquem hominem allegent qui mihi advenienti os occillet probe, quoniam bene quae in me fecerunt ingrata ea habui atque inrita.
(_frightened again_) I need a drubbing, I do, drudge that I am. I was not too quick, was I, to think of addressing the gods and giving ’em due thanks on my arrival? Oh Lord! if they took a notion to pay me back my dues, they’d commission some one to mash my face for me in fine shape on my arrival, now that I haven’t appreciated the good turns they’ve done me and have let ’em go for nothing. (_makes sure he is safe_)
_Mer._
Facit ille quod volgo haud solent, ut quid se sit dignum sciat.
(_aside_) Rather uncommon that,--his knowing what he deserves to get.
_Sos._
Quod numquam opinatus fui neque alius quisquam civium sibi eventurum, id contigit, ut salvi poteremur domi. victores victis hostibus legiones reveniunt domum, duello exstincto maximo atque internecatis hostibus.
What I never dreamed would happen nor anyone else on our side, either, has happened, and here we are safe and sound. (_magnificently_) Our legions come back victorious, our foes vanquished, a mighty contest concluded and our enemies massacred to a man.
quod multa Thebano poplo acerba obiecit funera, 190 id vi et virtute militum victum atque expugnatum oppidum est imperio atque auspicio eri mei Amphitruonis maxime. praeda atque agro adoriaque adfecit populares suos regique Thebano Creoni regnum stabilivit suom.
The town that has brought an untimely death to many a Theban citizen has been crushed and captured by the strength and valour of our soldiery, aye, and chiefly under the command and auspices of my own master, Amphitryon. He has furnished forth his countrymen with booty and land and fame, and fixed King Creon firm upon his Theban throne.
me a portu praemisit domum, ut haec nuntiem uxori suae, ut gesserit rem publicam ductu imperio auspicio suo. ea nunc meditabor quo modo illi dicam, cum illo advenero. si dixero mendacium, solens meo more fecero.
(_subsiding_) As for me, he has sent me on ahead home from the harbour to tell his wife the news: how the state was served under the leadership, command, and auspices of--his very own self. (_meditating_) Now let me think how I am to tell her the tale when I get there. If I do work in a lie or two, it won’t be anything extraordinary for me.
nam cum pugnabant maxume, ego tum fugiebam maxume; verum quasi adfuerim tamen simulabo atque audita eloquar. 200 sed quo modo et verbis quibus me deceat fabularier, prius ipse mecum etiam volo his meditari. sic hoc proloquar.
The fact is, it was just when they were doing their hardest fighting that I was doing my hardest running. Oh well, I’ll pretend I was there just the same, and recite what I heard tell about it. But the neatest way to narrate my story-- and the words to use--I must practise a bit by myself beforehand here.
Principio ut illo advenimus, ubi primum terram tetigimus, continuo Amphitruo delegit viros primorum principes; eos legat, Telobois iubet sententiam ut dicant suam; si sine vi et sine hello velint rapta et raptores tradere, si quae asportassent redderent, se exercitum extemplo domum reducturum, abituros agro Argivos, pacem atque otium dare illis; sin aliter sient animati neque dent quae petat, sese igitur summa vi virisque eorum oppidum oppugnassere. 210
(_pauses_) Here’s how we’ll begin. (_lays lantern down and addresses supposed Alcmena importantly_) First and foremost, when we reached there, as soon as we had touched land, straightway Amphitryon picks out the most illustrous of his captains. These he sends forth as legates and bids convey his terms to the Teloboians, to wit: should they wish, without contention and without strife, to deliver up pillage and pillagers and restore whatsoever they had carried off, he himself would lead his army home forthwith and the Argives would leave their land and grant them peace and quietude; but were they otherwise disposed, and disinclined to yield what he sought, he would thereupon with all the force at his command make onslaught on their city.
Haec ubi Telobois ordine iterarunt quos praefecerat Amphitruo, magnanimi viri freti virtute et viribus superbe nimis ferociter legates nostros increpant, respondent bello se et suos tutari posse, proinde uti propere irent, de suis finibus exercitus deducerent. haec ubi legati pertulere, Amphitruo castris ilico producit omnem exercitum. Teloboae contra ex oppido legiones educunt suas nimis pulcris armis praeditas.
When Amphitryon’s ambassadors had duly made this proclamation to the Teloboians, they, doughty warriors, confiding in their courage and glorying in their strength, made right rough and haughty answer to our embassy, saying that they could defend themselves and theirs by force of arms, and that accordingly they should depart at once and lead their troops out from the Teloboian borders. On receiving this report from his legates, Amphitryon at once led forth his whole army from camp. And from the city, too, the Teloboians led out their legions in goodly panoply.
postquam utrimque exitum est maxima copia, dispertiti viri, dispertiti ordines, 220 nos nostras more nostro et modo instruximus legiones, item hostes contra legiones suas instruont.
After both sides had marched out in full force, troops arrayed, and ranks arrayed, we drew up our legions according to our usual method and manner: our foemen likewise draw up their legions facing ours.
deinde utrique imperatores in medium exeunt, extra turbam ordinum colloquontur simul. convenit, victi utri sint eo proelio, urbem agrum aras focos seque uti dederent.
Then forward into the centre of the field stride the leaders of both hosts, and there out beyond the serried lines they hold colloquy. This pact was made, that they who were conquered in this battle should surrender city and land, shrines, homes, and persons.
postquam id actum est, tubae contra utrimque occanunt, consonat terra, clamorem utrimque efferunt. imperator utrimque, hinc et illinc, Iovi vota suscipere, utrimque hortari exercitum. 230
This done, the trumpets blared on either side; earth echoes; on either side the battle cry is raised. The generals on either side, both here and there, offer their vows to Jove, and on either side cheer their warriors.
tum pro se quisque id quod quisque potest et valet edit, ferro ferit, tela frangunt, boat caelum fremitu virum, ex spiritu atque anhelitu nebula constat, cadunt volnerum vi viri.
Then each man lays about him with his every ounce of strength and strikes home with his blade: lances shiver: the welkin rings with the roar of heroes: up from their gasping, panting breath a cloud arises: men drop beneath the weight of wounds.
Denique, ut voluimus, nostra superat manus: hostes crebri cadunt, nostri contra ingruont vi[11] feroces. sed[12] fugam in se tamen nemo convortitur nec recedit loco quin statim rem gerat; animam omittunt prius quam loco demigrent: 240 quisque ut steterat iacet optinetque ordinem.
At last, as we wished, our host prevails: the foemen fall in heaps: on and on we press, fired by our might. Yet for all that, none turns in flight nor yields an inch, but stands his ground and hews away. They lose their lives sooner than quit their post. As each had stood, so he lies, and keeps the line unbroken.
hoc ubi Amphitruo erus conspicatust, ilico equites iubet dextera inducere. equites parent citi: ab dextera maximo cum clamore involant impetu alacri, foedant et proterunt hostium copias iure iniustas.
When my lord Amphitryon noted this, he straightway ordered that the cavalry on our right be led to the charge. Swift they obey, and with terrific yells swooping down from the right in mad career they mangle and trample underfoot the forces of our foes and right our wrongs. (_wipes his brow and meditates_)
_Mer._
Numquam etiam quicquam adhuc verborum est prolocutus perperam: namque ego fui illi in re praesenti et meus, cum pugnatum est, pater.
(_aside_) Not a single, solitary word of fiction has he uttered yet: for I was there myself while the battle was actually going on, and my father too.
_Sos._
Perduelles penetrant se in fugam; ibi nostris animus additust: 250 vortentibus Telobois telis complebantur corpora, ipsusque Amphitruo regem Pterelam sua obtruncavit manu. haec illic est pugnata pugna usque a mani ad vesperum-- hoc adeo hoc commemini magis, quia illo die inpransus fui-- sed proelium id tandem diremit nox interventu suo.
(_gathering himself together_) Their warriors take to flight; at this new courage animates our men. When the Teloboians turn their backs we stick them full of spears, and Amphitryon himself cut down King Pterelas with his own hand. This fight was fought out all through the day there from morn till eve. (_reflectively_) I remember this point more distinctly because that noon I went without my lunch. But darkness at last intervened and terminated the engagement.
postridie in castra ex urbe ad nos veniunt flentes principes: velatis manibus orant ignoscamus peccatum suom, deduntque se, divina humanaque omnia, urbem et liberos indicionem atque in arbitratum cuncti Thebano poplo. post ob virtutem ero Amphitruoni patera donata aurea est, 260 qui Pterela potitare solitus est rex. haec sic dicam erae nunc pergam eri imperium exequi et me domum capessere.
The following day their foremost men come tearfully from the city to our camp, their hands veiled in suppliant wise, and entreat us to pardon their transgression: and one and all they surrender their persons, their entire possessions sacred and profane, their city and their children to the Theban people to have and to hold as they deem fit. Then, for his valour, my lord Amphitryon was presented with a golden bowl from which King Pterelas was wont to drink. (_heaves deep sigh of relief_) This is how I will tell it to the mistress. Now I’ll go finish up the job for master and take myself home. (_picks up lantern_)
_Mer._
Attat, illic huc iturust. ibo ego illi obviam, neque ego huc hominem hodie ad aedis has sinam umquam accedere; quando imago est huius in me, certum est hominem eludere. et enim vero quoniam formam cepi huius in med et statum, decet et facta moresque huius habere me similes item, itaque me malum esse oportet, callidum, astutum admodum atque hunc, telo suo sibi, malitia a foribus pellere. sed quid illuc est? caelum aspectat. observabo quam rem agat. 270