LXXVI.

IN SELF-GRATULATION.

If to remember deeds whilòme well done be a pleasure Meet for a man who deems all of his dealings be just, Nor Holy Faith ever broke nor in whatever his compact Sanction of Gods abused better to swindle mankind, Much there remains for thee during length of living, Catullus, 5 Out of that Love ingrate further to solace thy soul; For whatever of good can mortal declare of another Or can avail he do, such thou hast said and hast done; While to a thankless mind entrusted all of them perisht. Why, then, crucify self now with a furthering pain? 10 Why not steady thy thoughts and draw thee back from such purpose, Ceasing wretched to be maugrè the will of the Gods? Difficult 'tis indeed long Love to depose of a sudden, Difficult 'tis, yet do e'en as thou deem to be best. This be thy safe-guard sole; this conquest needs to be conquered; 15 This thou must do, thus act, whether thou cannot or can. If an ye have (O Gods!) aught ruth, or if you for any Bring at the moment of death latest assistance to man, Look upon me (poor me!) and, should I be cleanly of living, Out of my life deign pluck this my so pestilent plague, 20 Which as a lethargy o'er mine inmost vitals a-creeping, Hath from my bosom expelled all of what joyance it joyed, Now will I crave no more she love me e'en as I love her, Nor (impossible chance!) ever she prove herself chaste: Would I were only healed and shed this fulsome disorder. 25 Oh Gods, grant me this boon unto my piety due!

If to recall good deeds erewhiles performed be pleasure to a man, when he knows himself to be of probity, nor has violated sacred faith, nor has abused the holy assent of the gods in any pact, to work ill to men; great store of joys awaits thee during thy length of years, O Catullus, sprung from this ingrate love of thine. For whatever of benefit men can say or can do for anyone, such have been thy sayings and thy doings, and all thy confidences have been squandered on an ingrate mind. Wherefore now dost torture thyself further? Why not make firm thy heart and withdraw thyself from that [wretchedness], and cease to be unhappy despite the gods' will? 'Tis difficult quickly to depose a love of long growth; 'tis difficult, yet it behoves thee to do this. This is thine only salvation, this is thy great victory; this thou must do, whether it be possible or impossible. O gods, if 'tis in you to have mercy, or if ever ye held forth help to men in death's very extremity, look ye on pitiful me, and if I have acted my life with purity, snatch hence from me this canker and pest, which as a lethargy creeping through my veins and vitals, has cast out every gladness from my breast. Now I no longer pray that she may love me in return, or (what is not possible) that she should become chaste: I wish but for health and to cast aside this shameful complaint. O ye gods, vouchsafe me this in return for my probity.

LXXXVIII.

Quid facit is, Gelli, qui cum matre atque sorore Prurit et abiectis pervigilat tunicis? Quid facit is, patruom qui non sinit esse maritum? Ecqui scis quantum suscipiat sceleris? Suscipit, o Gelli, quantum non ultima Tethys 5 Nec genitor lympharum abluit Oceanus: Nam nihil est quicquam sceleris, quo prodeat ultra, Non si demisso se ipse voret capite.

LXXXVIII.

TO GELLIUS.

What may he (Gellius!) do that ever for mother and sister Itches and wakes thro' the nights, working wi' tunic bedoffed? What may he do who nills his uncle ever be husband? Wottest thou how much he ventures of sacrilege-sin? Ventures he (O Gellius!) what ne'er can ultimate Tethys 5 Wash from his soul, nor yet Ocean, watery sire. For that of sin there's naught wherewith this sin can exceed he ---- his head on himself.

What does he, Gellius, who with mother and sister itches and keeps vigils with tunics cast aside? What does he, who suffers not his uncle to be a husband? Dost thou know the weight of crime he takes upon himself? He takes, O Gellius, such store as not furthest Tethys nor Oceanus, progenitor of waters, can cleanse: for there is nothing of any crime which can go further, not though with lowered head he swallow himself.

LXXXVIIII.

Gellius est tenuis: quid ni? cui tam bona mater Tamque valens vivat tamque venusta soror Tamque bonus patruos tamque omnia plena puellis Cognatis, quare is desinat esse macer? Qui ut nihil attingit, nisi quod fas tangere non est, 5 Quantumvis quare sit macer invenies.

LXXXVIIII.

ON GELLIUS.

Gellius is lean: Why not? For him so easy a mother Lives, and a sister so boon, bonny and buxom to boot, Uncle so kindly good and all things full of his lady- Cousins, how can he cease leanest of lankies to be? Albeit, touch he naught save that whose touch is a scandal, 5 Soon shall thou find wherefor he be as lean as thou like.

Gellius is meagre: why not? He who lives with so good a mother, so healthy and so beauteous a sister, and who has such a good uncle, and a world-*full of girl cousins, wherefore should he leave off being lean? Though he touch naught save what is banned, thou canst find ample reason wherefore he may stay lean.